Hi everybody...this is my first fanfic, so please be kind...

English also isn't my mother language so please forgive me some mistakes I may have made…Or blame it on my Beta, she help me with translating (I write this at first in German)

OK, I'm just kidding, be gently on my Beta too, she did everything she could.

BTW…Thank ya a lot conny you did an awesome job.

Ok first think first…I don't own everything or everyone, I wish I would…think of the opportunities a Stargate would bring…Oh and if Sam Jack and the whole gang was mine, the story would be a little bit different…but sadly they aren't

(Bud a girl can dream, can't she?)

Ok here we go….

Chapter one

"Debriefing in one hour." sounded the voice of General Hammond after the event horizon closed behind SG-1. They had finished a boring exploring expedition again. Jack O'Neill made his way to the infirmary to endure the usual examinations. Sam was already there when he entered the infirmary and looked at him with her ocean blue eyes. A smile played around the corners of her lips and he just had to start grinning. He loved these moments even knowing that they could never be together, he wanted to enjoy every minute they could be even more. He wanted to enjoy her smile, which she apparently only reserved for him. How he loved this smile, how he loved this woman.

When he entered the room she couldn't help smiling at him. His hazelnut brown eyes looked at her and he grinned. She loved these eyes, she loved this man. She knew that they could never share a future together but in work. She would never lie down in his arms, never possess his lips. She's his major and he's her colonel. He once said that he care about her much more than he's supposed to but does this mean that he loved her? How she loved him, how she desired him? Or is she just a good friend to him or perhaps like a sister? No matter what he felt for her, she loved him and she knew it couldn't be.

"What ya think about gripping a little snack? Such missions always make me hungry." Jack asked grinning and ripped her out of her thoughts.

"I'd like to sir." She answered grinning as well and so they made their way to the commissary.

SG-1 and the general sat in the briefing room at 1600. Daniel talked about the ruins he discovered on PQ73X.

"It seems to be a mix between an ancient Maya culture and an early Chinese emperor dynasty, but that's kind of impossible because they didn't exist at the same time. Even if a goa'uld brought people on the planet, he must have visited the planet a second time some hundred years later. And people of the first colonization or better their descendants, who had lived until then, would never had accepted a new culture, not to mention integrate such."

"Maybe they were peaceful researchers just like you Danny-boy."

"Hah, hah. Very funny Jack. The emperor dynasties weren't famous for loving peace. And besides it's strange that there is absolutely no-one on this planet now. No trace of mortal remains. No graves, no temples, nothing. General I'd like to take a closer look on the palace and ruins of the city."

"Permission granted. SG-1 you set out once more on 0800 tomorrow to PQ73X, so take a good nights sleep. Dismissed."

Take a good nights sleep, much easier to say than actually do. Sam lay awake in her room for over one hour, letting her thoughts stroll and every time they stopped on Jack. She knew she had to change something. This side by side was getting more unbearable for her. She left her quarters and walked aimless through the floors without noticing her way. Always moving, always thinking. Suddenly she bumped right into him.

He couldn't sleep like the days and weeks before. His thoughts went to her, to 'his Sam' every time he got some peace. He couldn't live without her anymore knowing that this side by side wouldn't turn out well any longer. How should he take a good nights sleep when his thoughts keep him awake? He didn't know the answer, but lying with eyes wide open wasn't an option for him to choose. He left his rooms and walked through the corridors like he did uncountable nights before. Until she suddenly bumped right into him.

"Hi Carter, what do you do out here at this godforsaken hour?"

"I could ask you the same thing sir."

"You could, but I asked first. So?"

"I couldn't sleep and you?"

"It seems we have the same problem." For a while they walked silently along the corridor, both lost in thoughts.

"Why can't you sleep sir?" broke Sams voice through the silence.

"There are too many things inside my head and you? Do you miss your naquada reactor in the night?"

"Maybe…" if only you would know that it's you I miss in the nights.

Maybe…oh Sam if only you would know how much I love listening to you, to look at you. A smile spread across his face.

"Maybe? There was a time when you answered more accurate."

"What do you think is the reason why I can't sleep?"

"I don't know, but it seems to concern you for a while now." O'Neill remarked and there was a serious and not less concerned sound in his voice.

"What made you think of that?"

"That's easy: you have been much more quiet and thoughtful for quite some time."

Sams eyes widened and she looked away.

"I didn't notice."

"I don't think so. So what's bothering you?"

"I think I'm better going back to my quarters. Good night sir."

"Sam. Please talk to me."

In the meantime they had reached Carters rooms and Sam had made a decision.

"Okay what do you think about coming in for a little while so we could talk?"

They had hardly entered her quarters when Jack started asking again.

"So Sam what's up?"

"Sir…"

"Ah..! It's after 3 am and I also have a first name. Use him."

There was a little smile running across Sams face.

"Okay…Jack. I really don't know if I should tell you this…"

"Hey Sam you can trust me. We are friends aren't we?" Yeah friends. If only you would know how bad I would like to be more than just your friend Sam.

She started pacing back and forth until Jack gripped her gently.

"Sam please."

"Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea of you coming in with me. If someone notice that it could cost us our jobs."

"We don't do anything wrong. We just wanted to talk. Though one could really misunderstand this whole thingy. I mean you and me alone in your room in the middle of the night." during talking his voice softened and his words brought a smile upon her face by magic and her eyes lightened.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take him into her quarters. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea trying to tell him everything. It could cost her her job. Not that she wasn't ready to take the risk, but she dreaded his rejection. Even if he would still love her, his work meant too much to him than risking it for her. That she was sure about. She had pleaded him to go away, but his pure presence and his eyes had convinced her of the contrary. She just had to start smiling and he smiled back at her. Their looks locked and they stayed like this for many minutes. Just looking and smiling.

"So what's up?"

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because I'm worried about you, after all I'm your colonel!"

Sams eyes darkened and she turned away.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, but you hit the point that bothers me the whole time."

Jack looked at Sam questioningly.

"You are my colonel."

This statement surprised him and he went quiet before answering some moments later.

"Am I that horrible?"

Sam smiled.

"No! On the contrary, but that doesn't make it easier."

Jack looked at her, hi eyes broadening and a smile spread across his lips.

Could she possibly feel the same way I do? That she can't stand this side by side any longer?

TBC

©HOPE

Ok, this was the first part, some more will come, I promise. (we already work on it)

Please R&R

Tell me what ya think…