..: Welcome to Mutant High :..
Thanks to psychobunny410, Mercutioslove, toddfan, EE's Skysong, Serini, Sangofanatic, Rogue14, WolvieFanSpell, and Cat2Fat900 for reviewing! Psychobunny410, I'm not entirely sure if they'd have "Battle Royale" in a library. It's originally in Japanese (there's an English translation, of course), and pretty violent. Then again, I've never checked for it at a library. I just borrow my friend's. Toddfan, Forge'll get a cameo in X3? AWESOME! They better not cut him… Skysong, Remy's going to be Harry Potter? REMY IS GOING TO BE HARRY POTTER? Do you know how many issues Potter has? "I – DON'T – WANT – TO – BE – HUMAN!" But…whatever. Dude! I know, the whole Kitty thing bugged me. And Jubes. And John. And Piotr. You'll see my rant. OMG that parody sounds so funny! Cat2Fat900, yep, the APLBPN is MIA. Or someone stole it…and I think I know who. I know, JOGAN…(shudders)…I pity Logan oh so much. And that's also why Tabby has Kiriyama. The dude who played Sabes in the movie (Tyler Mane, I believe) was a professional wrestler, so that's probably why he's not so great as an actor. Which seems kinda like an oxymoron, but with wrestling, you reeeally have to overact. Like The Rock, ya know? But I think Ray Park (the dude who played Toad) rocketh! He's like an über cool martial artist! 2nd degree blackbelt, I think. Yes, the incident with Evan was tragic. Tragic he didn't die!
Thank you also to Serini, who kindly pointed out to me that Bobby/Rogue is called ROBBY, not BOGUE. Which is a good thing, because ROBBY doesn't sound as…blechhhh.
DISCLAIMER: "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get. And then you have to get medieval on someone's buttocks."
Todd was spraying some…weird…thing with paint when Sabey-
"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"
Fine, Sabes walked in. "Hey, weren't you supposed to bring something back with you?" Todd asked.
Sabes roared at him.
"Touchy," Todd muttered.
Sabes walked into Magsy's-
"If he gets his nickname changed, so do I!"
Would you rather be called Maggie?
"…"
That's what I thought. Over Magsy's desk, five metal balls were swinging back and forth. "What happened?" Magsy demanded.
"They knew," Sabes said.
Magsy pulled back his metal chair (with a REALLY loud scraping sound, I might add), and sat down. "Charles," he muttered. He magnetically yanked Logan's dogtag off Sabes's neck and looked at it, then down at the number tattooed on his arm. "Where is the mutant now?" he asked.
Pietro sped in. "You'll notice my dear old dad said 'the mutant', not 'Logan' or even 'he'," he said. "Meant to confuse you? Oh yeah." And he sped out.
Magsy and Sabes blinked.
Pietro sped back in. "Oh yeah, in case you're wondering, I'm unofficially the official Foreshadowing/Plot Hint Pointer-Outer Guy," he added. "…Why don't I get a cool gun?"
"Because a) you're an albino, b) your old man wears a bucket on his head, c) your best friend's such a hood, and d) the Authoress doesn't deem you worthy of being able to have a gun," Tabby said.
"I get a gun in Kill Bill," Pietro said.
"You shoot X23 in the head," Tabby said.
"…So?"
"SHE HAS AN ADAMANTIUM SKULL!" Tabby yelled. "And your heart explodes."
"At least I don't get both of my eyes snatched out," Pietro said.
"That's because I look better in a slutty nurse outfit," Tabby said. "And at least I don't get killed by a hateful bitch."
"That's because you are the hateful bitch," Lance said. "And at least I don't get killed in front of my own daughter."
"Something tells me I'm going to end up being the daughter," Jubes muttered.
"Well, at least I don't get the top of my skull chopped off," Amara snapped.
"At least Ah'm not an insane teenager whose wardrobe of preference is a schoolgirl unifoahm," Rogue said.
"Yeah, but I get a really cool ball and chain!" Kitty said. (1)
"Can we get back to the movie?" Sabes demanded.
"Touchy," Pietro muttered, but sped out.
"Where's the mutant now?" Magsy asked again, magnetically shutting the door before Pietro could speed in…again.
"With them," Sabes said.
Magsy looked down at the dogtag one last time. "I have made the first move," he said. "That is all they know." He tossed the dogtag on the desk and got up to leave. "Come, the U.N. summit is approaching. Time for our little test."
Sabes went back and grabbed the dogtag. The swinging metal balls finally clattered to the floor.
IN THE INSTITUTE'S INFIRMARY…
Logan was lying down on one of the tables, unconscious. Well, not completely; his eyes were flickering around a lot under their lids. That's called REM.
Jean walked in with a tray. She set it down on a table and walked around to the other side Logan, spending a few moments examining his knuckles. Then she took the opportunity to show off her TK, levitating a needle bottle thingie over from the tray. She stuck the needle into Logan's arm…
And Logan woke up and jumped off the table, holding Jean by the throat. The he noticed that a) she looked pretty harmless, b) she was wearing one of those doctor coats, and c) he was in an empty hospital room. So he let her go and ran out the door.
Of course, once he got out into the subbasement, he was completely lost. He ripped off the little sticky pads that monitor your heart rate and such off his chest and the needle out of his arm, then walked over to where Rogue's, Bobby's, Scott's, Jean's, Ororo's, and his uniforms were hanging.
Where is he going? a voice whispered in his head.
Logan whirled around, but saw an empty hallway. Duh, I just said the voice was in his head!
He turned back to the uniforms, saw an open wardrobe full of sweats, grabbed a sweatshirt, and put it on.
"…Something tells me this is Stripes's," he said.
The sweatshirt was dark green, for one. For another, the sleeves went down to just above his elbows, and were beyond skintight on him. And, to top it all off, the shirt itself barely even cleared his pecs. Tabby snorted and took a picture, then tossed him the right sweatshirt.
Logan put it on and walked down a random hallway. Where are you going? the same voice asked him.
Logan spun around, saw an empty hallway, and hid himself in a little dip in the wall. The elevator next to him slid open. Over here, the voice whispered. Logan cautiously walked into the elevator, only to have it close behind him.
It reopened in another hallway – only this one wasn't so metal and shiny. It looked like a normal hallway in a normal house – albeit a house with an elevator. Logan walked out, glancing around for anyone who might be coming.
Where are you going?
This way.
He's over there.
Logan ran down the hall and hid next to a window, poking his head out to see if anyone was coming.
"He looks like a cross between a paranoid Easter Bunny and a sniper on the run from a yakuza's assassin," Bobby noted.
"…Nice analogy," Forge said. "But aren't you supposed to be in the Prof's class?"
Jubes and Kitty popped up. "Like, there you are!" Kitty said to Bobby.
"The Prof sent us to go look for you," Jubes said. They both grabbed an arm and started dragging him away.
"But I shouldn't even be studying Physics!" Bobby wailed. "I'm taking Earth Science, remember? EARTH SCIENCE!" His screams echoed down the hall as he was led away.
"Actually," Forge said, "Considering Scott and Jean already graduated from Bayville High, then that would mean that Bobby'd be taking Biology now." (2)
Logan shrugged, since his memory definitely didn't stretch far back enough to his schooldays. Then he heard kids yelling.
"Let's go!" Robbie yelled.
"What's your hurry?" Ray yelled back.
"Why are we yelling?" Rahne yelled.
"Good question!" Sam yelled.
Logan ran over to some doors across from him, found out they were locked, and hid behind a post as Robbie, Ray, Rahne, and Sam ran by. He heard another door opening, jumped over a couch, darted inside a room and shut the door…then realized that said room wasn't empty. He turned around to see Jubes, Dani, John, Bobby, and Kitty staring at him. "You're not a dream?" Dani asked. (3)
Oh, did I mention that John was blond?
"Good morning, Logan," Xavier said from behind his desk. "So, I'd like your definitions of weak and strong anthropic principles on my desk on Wednesday," he said to the X-Kids.
"I'm not a kid!" John said indignantly. "I can drink, damnit!"
"Dis is America, mon ami," Remy said lazily.
John glared, but got up with the rest of the X-Kids to leave, still sulking about being blond. Kitty was almost at the door when she realized she had forgotten her bag. Funny how she's the only one with a bag.
Kitty picked up her bag from next to her chair. "Bye, Professor," she said.
"Bye, Kitty," Xavier said. Kitty ran out through the closed door. Logan stared at the door, then looked back at Xavier, clearly thinking, "WTF?"
Xavier held up a textbook. "Physics," he said, as if that explained everything. "I'm Charles Xavier. Would you like some breakfast?"
"Where am I?" Logan asked.
"Westchester, New York," Xavier said, wheeling out from behind his desk. "You were attacked. My people brought you here for medical attention."
"I don't need medical attention," Logan said.
"Yes, of course," Xavier said with a nod.
Logan looked around the now-empty room. "Where's Stripes?"
"The girl," Forge stage whispered.
Logan ignored him.
"Rogue?" Xavier said. "She's here. She's fine."
"Really," Logan said, clearly not trusting him.
The door opened, and Ororo and Scott walked in. "Ah, Logan, I'd like you to meet Ororo Munroe, also called Storm," Xavier said. "That's Scott Summers, also called Cyclops."
"Hello," Scott said, holding out his hand.
Logan down at his hand, then gave him a ya-gotta-be-kidding-me-bub Look.
"They saved your life," Xavier said. Jean walked in. "I believe you've already met Dr. Jean Grey." Jean walked past Logan to stand next to Xavier. "You're in my school for the gifted. For mutants. You'll be safe here from Magneto."
"What's a Magneto?" Logan asked.
"A very powerful mutant who believes that a war is brewing between mutants and the rest of humanity," Xavier said. "I've been following his activities for some time."
"STALKER!" Magsy yelled.
Forge eyed him oddly. "You do realize how much you sounded like a 7th grade girl just then, right?"
Magsy eyed Forge's prosthetic arm. "You do realize that prosthetic arm of yours is made of metal, right?"
Forge meeped and hid his arm behind his back.
"The man who attacked you is an associate of his called Sabretooth," Xavier continued.
"Sabretooth," Logan growled.
Sabes popped up. "Wolverine," he growled. Then, "You better bring it!"
"Oh, it has already been broughten!" Logan yelled. They leaped at each other…
And started a catfight.
They slapped at each other for about five full minutes before Sabes yowled like a cat that got drenched by a hose. "Oh. My. Gawd," he said. "Logan, look at this nail!" (4) He held up his pinky nail, which now had a chip in it.
A chip one tenth the size of a grain of sand.
Sabes lower lip started trembling. "You broke my nail!" he wailed, then turned and ran out, crashing through the wall.
Tabby picked up her manicure case and Kiriyama. "I'll go get him," she said, blowing up another hole in the wall and walking out.
"STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SCHOOL!" (5) Xavier yelled after them.
"…Well, that was normal and totally not weird at all," Forge said.
"Watch it, bub," Logan said. Then pointed at Ororo. "Storm," he said, clicking his tongue. He turned to Xavier. "What do they call you, Wheels? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." He walked to the door, except Scott was still standing in front of it. "Slim, right?" Logan grabbed Scott by the collar. "Wanna get outta my way?"
Scott looked down at his collar, then over to Xavier, as if to say, "Uh…what do I do?" Well, that or, "HELP ME!" You can't really tell with those glasses of his.
"Logan, it's been almost 15 years, hasn't it?" Xavier asked. "Living from day to day, moving from place to place with no memory of who or what you are."
Logan spun around. "Shut up," he snapped.
"Give me a chance," Xavier said. "I may be able to help you find some answers."
"How do you know?" Logan demanded.
You're not the only one with gifts, Xavier tele-spoke.
Where are you going?
Where's he going?
What are you doing here?
"…What is this place?" Logan asked.
The scene cut to the basketball courts while Xavier explained via voice-over. "Anonymity is a mutant's first chance against the world's hostility."
Kurt stole the ball from Evan, ported to the hoop, and slam dunked.
"Hey, man, no powers!" Evan yelled.
Piotr, in the Lamest Cameo Ever, was drawing a picture of the courtyard. Seriously, you only saw him for a split second. What's up with that?
"To the public, we're merely a school for gifted youngsters."
Ray and Sam raced, or rather, Ray ran along the concrete while Sam Cannonballed over the pond.
"Cyclops, Storm, and Jean were some of my first students." Jean held her hand over stacks of plastic disks, using her TK to send them flying at Scott. "I protected them, taught them to control their powers…" Scott blasted them all out of the air. "…And it time, teach others to do the same."
The scene changed to Ororo teaching History. On the chalkboard behind her, it said, "THE ROMAN EMPIRE." "These students are mostly runaways. Frightened, alone, some with gifts so extreme that they've become a danger to themselves and to those around them." Logan, who was watching the class through a window, saw Rogue sitting next to Jubes. "Like your friend, Rogue." Kitty leaned across Jubes to tell Rogue something. "Incapable of physical human contact, probably for the rest of her life."
John, who was sitting in front of Rogue, took the opportunity to show off, making a fireball behind his back. Rogue stared. Kinda like the time when she and Remy met for the first time, and Remy almost blew her up by giving her the charged card and taking off. Yeah. That stare. It kinda made Remy more than a little jealous, which was exactly what John was trying to do. Out of sheer boredom and spite. And the fact that he was now a blond. "And yet here she is with others her own age, learning, being accepted, not feared."
Bobby, who was sitting at the table next to Rogue's, decided to show off, too. Or get John in trouble. Or both. He sent a beam of ice at John's fireball, turning it into a frozen fireball. Which John could no longer control. John closed his fist, and the frozen fireball dropped and shattered behind John's chair.
Storm whirled around from writing on the chalkboard. "John!"
"Sorry," John said meekly.
"Yeah, it looks cooler when you do it in the movie," Jubes said to Bobby.
"Shut up," Bobby snapped.
"Oh no he didn't!" Rogue said, complete with the snaps.
"Don't go there, girlfriend!" Bobby said, complete with the talk-to-the-hand. Then he realized what he had just said and whimpered. Rogue shuddered.
"Like, why is everyone talking so totally weird?" Kitty asked Jubes.
"Because this is the movie," Jubes said wisely.
"Ohhhh," Kitty said, as if that explained everything. Which it actually did.
Jubes turned back to Bobby. "By the way, aren't you supposed to be doing some flirting right now?" she said.
"I thought you'd be upset about this," Bobby said.
"Hey, I don't have to kiss anyone," Jubes said. "Plus, Kitty and I both have pixie cuts, John is blond, and Piotr looks more like a flimsy sensitive artist than a sensitive artistic powerhouse! That tends to bring out the sadistic side in you. But I do like the sunglasses," she added, patting said black sunglasses that were on her head. (6)
Bobby gulped, but turned to Rogue. "I'm Bobby," he said to her. "What's your name?"
"Rogue," Rogue said.
"What'll happen to her?" Logan asked.
"Well, that's up to her. Rejoin the world as an educated young woman…or stay on to teach others…to become what the children have affectionately called X-Men."
Bobby reached over and made a rose on Rogue's desk. "Welcome to Mutant High," he said.
Rogue slid the rose over to Jubes.
"Ah, keep it," Jubes said breezily. "The ballerina he made me was much better."
"But the school is merely a public face." The scene changed to Scott and Jean and the rest of the Evo's in the garage. Scott was explaining how to work a motorcycle. More particularly, Logan's motorcycle.
"That's…my…bike," Logan growled.
"You're the only one who uses it, anyway," Forge said.
"The lower levels, however, are an entirely different matter."
The scene cut back to Logan and Xavier, who had just entered the hangar. Logan stared at the X-Jet. "Where's the Velocity?" he asked.
Forge shrugged.
Xavier kept talking. "When I was a boy, I discovered I had the power to control people's minds, make them think or do whatever I wanted. When I was 17, I met a young man named Eric Lensherr. He, too had an unusual power."
Logan walked by more of Rogue's, Bobby's, Scott's, Jean's, Ororo's, and his uniforms hanging in their glass cases. How many uniforms do these people have? Well, they DO get torn up every so often.
"He could create magnetic fields and control metal. Believing that humanity would never accept us, he grew angry and vengeful. He became Magneto."
"I know, Chuck," Logan said. "I met him way before you did."
The scene cut to Xavier and Logan walking past the dorm rooms. "There are mutants out there with incredible power, Logan," Xavier said. "And many who do not share my respect for mankind. If no one is equipped to oppose them, humanity's days could be over. I'll make a deal with you, Logan. Give me 48 hours to find out what Magneto wants with you-"
Pietro zipped in, coughed, and zipped out.
"-and I give you my word that I will use all my power to help you piece together what you've lost and what you're looking for."
(1) – Yep, I'll be parodying Kill Bill. It'll be an XIETRO, and truly insane. And there's the DiVAS…plus Gogo. In case you're not sure who's who, Kitty's Gogo, Rogue's Cottonmouth, Amara's Copperhead, Lance's Sidewinder, Tabby's California Mountain Snake, Pietro's Snake Charmer, and X23's Black Mamba. Kurt'll probably be Johnny Mo/Pai Mei, and Jean'll probably be Sofie Fatale. Or should I use Belladonna? And I still dunno who BB'll be.
(2) – I have no clue if this is true for Bayville High; I'm just basing this on my high school. It goes Physical Science, Biology, Chemistry, then Physiology, AP Phsyics, AP Biology, or AP Chemistry for your senior year, depending on what career you're leaning toward.
(3) – Sorry, just couldn't help it! From the eppie "Ghost of a Chance" (the only one with Dani in it).
(4) – Becky, look at her butt! Sir Mix-A-Lot's song "Baby Got Back". Oh and the "bring it" and "broughten" is from Not Another Teen Movie, which I will be parodying sometime.
(5) – If you don't know where this quote is derived from, I pity you ever so much.
(6) – Another rant of mine about the movie. Jubes, Kitty, John, and Piotr TOTALLY change between the two movies (cuz they all have different actors). The most noticeable is John, since he gets a much bigger role in X2. In X1, he has blond hair in that weird kinda bowlheadish style. In X2, he has longer brown hair. Not to mention the total face change. Onto Piotr. X1: You see .5 of a second of his face, but he looks nothing like the more powerhouse-esque guy (totally sans-accent) in X2 (who doesn't even look like he belongs in high school, but whatever). Kitty's turn. X1: cute little pixie cut, reddish-auburn hair, looks pretty innocent. X2: Did she just de-age three years? Her hair is now just above shoulder length, and I do believe she's gotten shorter. And Jubes. X1: it's clearly obvious who she is, since the sunglasses (so they're not goggles, but she wears them in her hair), short hair, earrings, and (especially) yellow jacket are refs to the canon Jubes. And she's obviously Asian. X2: Pardonnez-moi, mais c'est qui? She's ditched the yellow jacket and sunglasses, and grown out her hair into some weird crooked ponytail. I didn't recognize her until the second-to-last scene of the movie, when I saw her earrings. She originally had a short scene all on her own in the movie, but it was cut. Which is a pity.
Um…yeah. That one got weird. Don't ask. Really. But do review!