Tuesday, 3rd October, home
I took the day off school today because we had to drop Thierry off to the airport this morning. It was pretty emotional saying goodbye to him, after all he is my brother and the next time I'll be seeing him won't be until Christmas. Anyway, mum and I dropped him off and then we went out to lunch and then we came home. I don't know what to do know, I think I might go on the net and look up some things for Christmas presents ideas, I know it sounds way too early but a princess has to plan ahead. I don't know what to get for Lilly and all my friends, and especially Michael. What do you get your boyfriend for Christmas? I know Michael and Lilly don't celebrate Christmas as they are Jewish but I want to get them a present so they don't feel left out! Oh there's the phone, I'd better go and answer it.
Tuesday, 3rd October, home
Oh my god, it looks like I'll be going back home much sooner than expected, as in sometime this week. Want to know why? When Thierry was flying home, his plane lost control over the Atlantic near the Irish coast, but not near enough to land on time before they lost total control, so the plane fell whatever height a plane flies at. All five passengers drowned immediately as the water was freezing cold. What am going to do? I'm in shock and I can't reach mum on her mobile. I need to talk to someone. I can't talk to Lilly; she had something on this afternoon. Maybe Michael will be home.
Tuesday, 3rd October, Michael's
When I knocked on the door, Michael answered pretty much straight away. When he did I just rushed into his arms and started crying. I couldn't stop crying, I just kept on crying. Do you know the feeling when you haven't cried in ages and it all just comes out in one big rush? Well that's exactly what happened. He was so nice about it though. He realised I wasn't going to be able to talk to him so he just brought me over to the couch and wrapped me in his arms and comforted me, which was exactly what I needed. After what seemed like ages I stopped crying and Michael asked me was I ok. I told him that no, everything wasn't all right and told him everything, and then started crying again. Wow, I'm surprised he still loved me after watching me cry, it was not a pretty sight and I wasn't either afterwards. But anyway, Michael didn't know what to say afterwards except for "I'm so sorry baby" repeatedly. I just curled up in his lap and cried myself to sleep.
Hours later, I woke up on the couch, where someone had placed a blanket over me. I guessed it was Michael, when I sat up I realised Lilly was watching me. She slowly walked over to me, sat down by my feet and asked me how I was. I told her that I felt a bit better but drained out from all the crying. I asked her had my mum come home, she told me she had and was really worried about me when she realised I wasn't at home. Apparently she came straight here to see if I was here, when she saw me on the couch asleep she just left. I guess she knows too.
What am I to do? My baby brother is dead. Oh my god, that looks so wrong. Thierry doesn't deserve to be dead. He's only 12. He had his whole life in front of him to live and discover everything. He was meant to grow up and rule Genovia, which he was really looking forward to. Ever since he found out he was going to rule a country after dad died he had started planning the countries future. He was going to modernise the country, make it an even better place to live for everyone. He was a good kid really. I loved him so much. Being a princess, living in a big castle made us closer I think. It was hard for us to make friends and bring them home, so we relied on each other a lot. We had our own games room with everything we wanted. We used to have tournaments that went on for hours, even days where we had the best fun ever. Then when I grew up I abandoned him, I went off with my girl friends where we went out shopping, clubbing, on our own holidays. He got so lonely sometimes. Then I left him for a new life here.
Wednesday, 4th October, home
After I came home mum and myself just hugged each other straight away. We didn't need to say anything; we both knew we felt the same thing; the same hurt. After a while mum just let go and walked off into her own room. I decided it was time to go to bed myself, so I went into my room and just collapsed on the bed, but I couldn't get to sleep, I just stared straight at the glow of the stars on my ceiling. After what seemed like an eternity I decided to go into mum and see if she was asleep. I put on my dressing gown and went across the hall. She wasn't asleep. She was lying in bed crying. I got into the bed beside her and just cuddled up beside her. Finally I drifted off to sleep. At around 7.30 I woke up when the sun started shining into the room as mum hadn't closed the curtains last night. I got up and went into the kitchen. It seemed so unaware of what had happened; it seemed alive with the autumn hazy sun shining into the kitchen, reflecting off the stainless steel sink. I decided it wasn't going to do me any good if I was going to mope around the house for the day. I decided I was going to make use of the day, but obviously not going to do anything too extravagant. I started off this plan by going to have a shower, something to wake me up. I used that new revitalizing shower gel I got as a present a while ago from one of my friends back in Genovia when I got the name of a party girl, which I wasn't, I just got very drunk one night, sadly the paparazzi were there to get pictures of me looking a bit, lets say, out of it. Well anyway, after the shower I felt a bit more refreshed. I then got dressed and dried my hair and returned back into the kitchen, which looked a state. I started tidying it up by emptying the dishwasher and reloading it with all the cereal bowls and other things that had gathered up above the dishwasher. Then I wiped down the counter and made breakfast for mum and I. It didn't consist of much seeing that we hadn't done a shop in a while but there was orange juice, toast, cereal and tea. I brought it into her and sat down on the bed and we both ate breakfast in silence.
After a while she got up and went into the shower so I decided to go into my room and tidy it up, this sadness seems to have put me in a cleaning frenzy! I found so many things that I hadn't seen since we moved, including my shoebox full of childhood memories. There were so many photos of Thierry, mum, dad and I on holidays. There were photos of all of our summer holidays in the south of France and our winter skiing breaks in the Swiss Alps.
The nicest one was of Thierry and I with the Alps in the background and both of us in our ski gear and our sunburnt faces with the very obvious outline of our sunglasses with the biggest smiles on our faces. That was two years ago. I spent ages just sitting on the floor going through everything in the box. Without me realising it, Michael had come into my room. He was standing just inside my door watching me looking at a photo of Thierry and I. When I realised he was standing there I became embarrassed. My face must of started going red cause Michael said, "It's ok, I haven't been here long". He asked me how I was, which I replied to by telling him that I was ok at the moment but still trying to take it in. It seems all so unreal, someone you knew so well is dead but you can't take it in because you're like, no they can't be dead, they don't seem like the person to die, which is a pretty stupid thought seeing that the only thing that you know you'll do in life is die.
Thursday, 5th October, a plane over the Atlantic Ocean
I am so scared, for many reasons. One of them is that I am in a plane, in the same mode of transport that Thierry was in when he tragically died and the other main one is that I am on the way back to Genovia for Thierry's funeral. Now I am the next heir in line, so once dad passes away I will be the Princess of Genovia and the ruler of the country. Before now I was just the Princess of Genovia, like Princess Diana, someone who never would have to rule. I never planned this. I was meant to help people, and that was all I was meant to do. I was not born to rule a country; I am like the most unroyal royal. I'm the one who is meant to live in America and live a happy ever life with Michael Moscovitz, well now until he breaks up with me, which he will eventually, cause he is not going to want to live in Genovia and dress all smartly and go to balls and dine and exchange (forced) pleasantries with stuck up people for the rest of his life, which is the eternal doom which I now am destined to. Now I am going to live in America (as long as possible hopefully) and then once dad dies I will move to Genovia where I will spend the rest of my days.
Thursday, 6th October, home (in Genovia)
I'm back home, and much sooner than I expected really. Nothing has changed. The same chauffeur, the same butler at the front door to take your coat, the same maids serving drinks, the same house staff making the beds in the morning and pulling back the covers at night. The same tea with lemon and no milk, the same fresh orange juice served at breakfast, the same hot chocolate, the same (un-burnt) toast, the same fruit selection and the same yoghurt selection. I have only recently realised how privileged I have been for the last 15 years having everything given to me, the way I like it. I think moving to New York was like this crash course in living in the real world.
We arrived back last night at I went straight up to my room, which is like 3 times as big as my room in New York. As soon as I got in I just went straight to bed but realised that I wasn't going to get to sleep by just staring at the ceiling. Counting sheep didn't even work. So I just turned on my TV, which has got like every channel anyone wanted. Including E4, an English channel that shows things like Friends, The O.C. and One Tree Hill. It's brilliant, all the programs I like.
Anyway, the funeral is tomorrow, so we have to get everything in place. Luckily, although it's terrible, we were able to rescue Thierry's body, so now he can have a proper funeral. I have been asked to talk at his funeral. I don't know what to say without bursting into tears. All I have to hear is the name Thierry and I start crying. I'm sure I'll find a way around it. I'd love to have Michael and Lilly there for me, but that's impossible.
Thursday, 6th October, home
Oh my god. Lilly and Michael have just arrived. Apparently when they learned that the funeral was tomorrow they got straight on a plane for Genovia. That's what I call real friends. I love Michael so much. As soon as I saw them I just started crying. It just didn't seem right, Michael and Lilly here with me in Genovia.
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