Thank you people, for your great reviews! And I'm sorry for taking so long with this part, but when you read it I hope you will understand why this piece was hard to write. I hope next parts will come easier.

Poorfaith…, your English skills aren't lacking. The poster on the street said 1990, because that is the year the story takes place in, but the diary says 1982, because in my story that is Faith's year of birth.

Please review!

MAJOR ANGST WARNING! Serious angst coming up in part 5.

Title: Faith's Fate (AU) Part: 4

Author: Loes

Distribution: All characters that I didn't make up are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Every person and company I forgot to mention, please don't sue me. I mean no harm.

Feedback: If you have time… Yes, please. I want to know if I'm a terrible writer or otherwise.

Summary: Buffy has to make a life/death choice and time travels to the past to enrichher judgement

Rating: I think everyone can read this, but I am not going to watch my language or anything. Not that I have bad language, but I can never know what anyone thinks of it, right? Anyway, there'll be no sex in it, so I guess that makes PG-13.

Spoilers: Buffy season 3 to season 5 and Angel episodes Five by Five and Sanctuary. And some general Buffy knowledge.

Note: Thoughts and are in Italics. Written things are between ...>.

Note 2: I'm not very good at childish English, since I'm not English myself. Please bear with me though.

Note 3: Buffy's POV

Previously on Faith's Fate:

This is the diary of Faith, 27 October 1982

Dear Diary,

I have a dog. His name is Doggie. Doggie is hungry because Mommy took his apple. I stole an apple. Now Mommy is angry. Mommy is angry often because I am always naughty. Be quiet Faithy. Mommy is tired. Mommy says I am a bad girl. I am bad. I cry. Kids in school say I am a cry-baby. When I grow up I will be a big girl. When I grow up I want to be good and strong. Good girls don't cry and good girls are never naughty. Only bitches and slutties are naughty. You are always so ugly Faithy. Oopsie I fell off the stairs. Faithy you are so clumsy! Mommy says I have to hide the blue things on me. The blue is ugly. It gets yellow and brown. Sometimes the blue things are purple things. When my face is ugly I don't go to school because I am sick. I do not always do what Mommy says. Sometimes I can not. I am a stupid girl that's why. I will be good next time. Mommy will like me.

Faith>

She closes her diary and yawns. I loosen my arms, which are still comforting the girl's small frame, so she can get up. She hides her diary again.

She doesn't really know that I am here, but still it seems like she is waiting for me to get up off the bed before she climbs into it. She crawls under her thin blanket and closes her eyes. I can see that she's not asleep.

So what happens now? What should I do? I still don't know what exactly I'm supposed to do here. The only thing I know is that I'm here, in 1990 apparently, with an 7-year-old Faith.

I kneel beside her and watch her not-sleeping. A silent tear creeps over her cheek. Others soon follow. Silently, until Faith's whole body is shaking with sobs. She hugs her pillow to her head. It's clear she's trying not to cry. It's really heartbreaking. As much as I really don't want to admit it, Faith actually has feelings. I hate to see her like this so I try to do the comforting thing again. It worked before, right? I stroke her hair and it seems to have an instantly calming effect on the girl. I keep doing so until the sobs lessen and she's sleeping.

The next morning I wake up not remembering falling asleep. The bed next to me is empty. I guess Faith is already up then. I get up too and look for her. I find her in the kitchen sipping milk from a glass. Normally I'm really hungry in the morning, but not this time. I guess time travelling does that to a person.

As I get closer to the scene not only do I notice that Faith is wearing the same clothes as she was yesterday, but also that there are funny looking thingies swirling through her milk. Doesn't this girl know that you shouldn't eat spoiled food?

She doesn't seem to mind.

She gets up and cleans the glass, then puts it back in the cupboard. Again this little girl is so much like and yet just as much unlike the Faith I know. I mean, she can totally take care of herself, even at this age. Who'd be able to do that but Faith? She never wants anyone's help. But she also has her hair in pigtails with ribbons in them. She looks so innocent.

Her mom's nowhere in sight though.

After cleaning her teeth Faith gets her backpack and leaves the flat. Again I follow her through streets and alleys and past traffic signs and rushing people. It's already getting familiar, this following-Faith thing.

A school building comes in sight. I guess this is our stop. But it's empty. There aren't any kids or teachers there yet. Come to think of it, eight o'clock in the morning doesn't exactly seem like a time to start school. Why are we here already? Faith sits down on one of the swings and seems lost in thought. She looks so sad now, all alone, sitting on a swing in an empty school garden. It makes me wonder what it is that she's dealing with.

I walk behind her and I try pushing her swing. It doesn't budge. I should've known. Faith seems to have noticed something though. She flinches and then gets off the swing.

"Who's there?" I can see she's trying to appear tough, but her voice sounds small. "Come out. I know you're there! If you don't come out now, I'll… I'll kick your ass!" Oh yeah, that's Faith alright.

She looks around. Kids and their parents are starting to cover the playground. Some of the parents throw pitiful looks at Faith, but nobody actually comes up to talk to her. When the school bell rings everybody goes inside.

I almost lose Faith in the crowd. All around me parents are kissing their children goodbye and wiping their little noses. I wonder what Faith is thinking right now. No one is there for her. Again I think about Faith's mother. What kind of mother would let her seven years old daughter walk to school all alone? My mother still drove me to school on my first day of school in Sunnydale. I was sixteen. And yes, I know that's old.

When all the parents have dropped their kids off in the right classroom the teacher, Ms.
Wright starts the first lesson of the day.

ZWOOSH!

Part: 5

Rating: I think with this chapter the rating goes up to NC-15 or R, if I understand those ratings right. There's still no sex in it and there won't be, but it gets pretty scary in this chapter and it might again.

Note: Buffy's POV

Note 2: I stole a line from the season 4 episode 'Who Are You?'. I'm sorry for that. I placed it in a different setting, though.

Note 3: MAJOR ANGST WARNING!

ZWOOSH!

I blink a couple of times. I'm no longer in the classroom. I'm in the dark, literally. Fortunately, with my slayer sight, it doesn't take too long before my surroundings are clear. I'm in young Faith's bedroom. She's asleep in her bed.

But what is that smell?

It reminds me of vampires; it's that same dead smell.

She can't be dead, right? Is she still breathing? I mentally slap myself as I realise I'm in Faith's past and thus she can't be dead in the past if she's alive in the present. Well, actually… I was or will be? dead once and I came will come? back from it. Is it me then? Am I dead? I sniff my arms a bit.

Suddenly the door is jerked open. It collides with the wall with a bang. I nearly have a heart attack.

Standing in the doorway is Faith's mother. Her eyes are bloodshot.

A whimper from the bed brings me out of my own fear right into Faith's. She sits upright with begging eyes. "M-mommy, is something wrong?"

"Don't you play innocent, little girl. What the fuck did you do?" her mother yells while rummaging through the room. "That smell, what is it?"

She looks under the bed and finds a box. The smell gets stronger. I realize what's going on.

So does Faith, apparently, because she screams "No, no, no, NO!"

Her mother opens the box and drops it immediately. Inside the box there is a dead dog, rotting. "What the fuck?"

As her mother comes closer Faith closes her eyes and begs. "No, don't! No no no! Please…" Her voice breaks. It's no use.

Her mother violently shakes her. "Don't you tell me what to do, you bitch." She knocks Faith's head into the wall. The girl cries out in pain and fear.

I can't watch this. I try to pull the woman off Faith and yell at her to stop it, but since I'm technically not there, I can't do anything. It's like watching a movie, except that it's reality. It's so frustrating. I'm scared for Faith, but I can't do anything. I can't protect her.

"I'll do what I want! This is my house. You perverted it. You're trash! I should've killed you while you were asleep!" She storms out of the room and slams the door shut, leaving behind a little girl unconscious and a dead dog in a box on the floor.

I'm having trouble breathing and I find out I've been crying. I've never seen anything like this. I've never been so afraid of somebody in my entire life. And not even for me, but for Faith. I really thought that woman was going to kill her.

The girl in question is lying in her bed, unmoving. Her head is bleeding and her arms are a sick blue where her mother held her.

I didn't know about this.

"I didn't know, Faith! I didn't understand you. I thought I hated you. I never thought… I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. I didn't know…"

She doesn't hear me. She just lies there, her face frozen in fear.

TO BE CONTINUED