Her mind was a mess when the combination of bright light and voices once again made her regain consciousness. Her mouth was dry and her head was throbbing but none of it mattered – all she cared about was trying to forget the vivid memory of what she wished had been a bad dream. But the unpleasant and buzzing feeling in her abdomen ruled out any doubts she might have had about whether or not the assault really had taken place and the realization made her nauseous.

'So, did you have fun?' Hearing a pompous voice she lifted her head, noticing that Kabir was standing a few feet away from her, looking pleased. The smirk on his face made it obvious that her misery amused him and he slowly continued,

'I hear that Mr. Sark really put you in your place…' he beckoned towards the door where a guard instantly responded, bringing in a small tray, which he placed on a table to her left. Making sure that they were once again alone Kabir walked towards the table, picking up one of the implements, while laughing, '…and you know what? I'm going to help you stay there!'

There was no response. She just glanced at him with her tired, expressionless eyes, looking like she hadn't even seen him when she slowly turned her head away staring out into the dark room. The truth was that she had seen him, she just didn't care – feeling both emotionally and physically drained, her body and mind was numb, and no torture, threats or degrading comments could make her respond. She had simply given in. The hopelessness was overriding and the only rational thought in her mind was that she would never betray the agency. Besides from that, nothing else mattered.

'My offer is simple…' Kabir said, fiddling with the small hammer and chisel he had taken from the tray, trying to agitate her, '…just admit you are CIA and I might let you live.' When she ignored him completely he most of all wanted to give her a good beating but he enjoyed dragging the psychological torture on and therefore he calmly stated, 'Take some time to think about it.' He put the implements back on the tray, turning his back on her, hereafter quickly leaving the room.

- - -

'Sydney…' The voice was slurred and it was impossible for her to hear where it came from but never the less she immediately knew who had spoken. 'Vaughn!' She sobbed, looking around frantically, her heart beating faster than ever before, 'where are you!' She couldn't see him anywhere but he had to be there, she had just heard him! 'I'm right here Syd…' When she turned her head she saw him kneeling besides her and tears immediately started running down her face while she mumbled, 'Michael, I never thought I would see you again! How…' He stood up, wiping her tears away with his thumb, trying to convince her, 'You're safe now, I'll take you home…' he kissed her cheek, '…it's all over.' Looking at him she couldn't help but think that this was too good to be true…

'Enough!' The loud, demanding voice shocked her, making her open her eyes that instant, feeling a huge knot in her stomach when seeing Kabir rushing towards her. 'No, please no!' The words repeated themselves in her head when she realized that it had been a dream… Just a dream. He had never actually been there.

'The cartilage that lets the kneecap slide around does not regenerate…' Kabir had rolled up her trouser leg, anticipating some kind of confession when he placed the chisel on her bare knee, but she didn't react and he stated, '…which you should know in advance of this.' Looking tired and beat she sent him a despondent glance, almost allowing him to go ahead. She was through. No one was coming for her. She slowly closed her eyes visualizing Vaughn, Will, Francie, everyone she cherished, wishing that she could see them again, that she would get a chance to tell them how much she loved them, but knowing that that was a chance she would probably never get.

Taking a deep breath she felt Kabir getting ready to strike, when a shattering sound made her flinch. Gunshots! Before realizing what was going on she saw Kabir crumple to the floor, bleeding from two wounds to his stomach, and with disbelief she stared at the man almost running towards her, quickly kneeling in front of her, while asking,

'You okay?' His beautiful green eyes were filled with concern for her, and she instantly nodded, wanting to reassure him. With out hesitation he freed her hands and she reached out to him, gently touching his face to make sure that this time he wasn't just a figure of her imagination. Having convinced herself that it really was Vaughn she most of all wanted to tell him the truth – reveal to him that she wasn't okay… That she was far from okay. But he looked so happy, so relieved that they had found her, and she knew how hurt and angry he would be if he found out what Sark had done to her. So she kept quiet, convincing herself that this wasn't the time or the place, even though her feelings told her otherwise.

'I don't understand… how… how did you find a way in?' She asked hesitantly, when the light suddenly was switched on and a well-known voice filled the room,

'Let's go! We've got the device!' Recognizing the voice immediately she stood up, turning towards the man standing at the entrance, almost breaking into tears when seeing him. Dixon! She was shaking all over when covering her eyes with her hand, trying to hide her tears, and realizing that Dixon had to have jeopardized his marriage to come save her – he had no way of knowing how much that meant to her.

When Dixon once again reminded them to hurry, she nodded, letting Vaughn put her arm around his neck. As he hereafter gently placed his hand on her back to support her on their way out, she suddenly felt strange. Vaughn's touch was in one way reassuring and comforting, but in another way it was reminding her of Sark and therefore making her feel uncomfortable. Looking at the man supporting her she disregarded the feeling – this was Vaughn, the man she had been in love with for so long, how could his touch be anything but appreciated?

Never the less she broke away from him when they reached the doorway, trying to prove that she was okay, hereafter quickly following the two men as they ran out of the room. She was regaining control, no longer crying, but instead beginning to rationalize what had happened to her to make the assault seem insignificant. 'I'm fine, I really am fine,' she thought, glancing at the man in front of her, gathering her thoughts for just a moment before concluding,

'Maybe he doesn't need to know….'

- - -

The flowing stearin was oozing down the recently lid candle participating in creating a very cosy atmosphere within the boundaries of Sydney's bathroom. She had just finished undressing and while taking the first step into the bathtub, she concentrated on clearing her mind, only focusing on one thing; after she had washed, every part of Sark still on her would be gone, and she would therefore be able to start forgetting the incident. Both her mind and body would be clean.

When submerging herself in the warm, cleansing water she was oblivious to anything but her own thoughts and she almost didn't hear Vaughn coming towards her before he actually stood there handing her a glass of red wine. She took it, trying to avoid direct eye-contact while reconsidering whether or not to tell him what had happened, soon concluding that no, she wasn't going to tell him. There was no reason to hurt him unnecessarily when there was nothing he could do about it. And, she took a sip of wine shyly smiling at him when she handed the glass back, it was nothing she couldn't handle on her own.

'The Kings are in town on Friday…' Vaughn sent her one of his usual charismatic smiles while continuing, '…we could watch the zamboni.'

Her arm was resting on the side of the tub and he gently placed his hand on it, hoping he might get a reaction from her. He had been trying to talk to her all night but she seemed so withdrawn, only answering direct questions, and she looked so sullen, as if she had a lot on her mind. Something she obviously wasn't interested in sharing with him. When she just stared straight ahead he looked down, feeling awkward, taking a sip of wine while wondering what could be bothering her.

She withdrew her arm, taking a deep breath while trying to figure out what to say to him. Not wanting to tell him the truth she cleared her throat, bringing up at subject she knew would be on her mind if nothing else had happened,

'What we saw… in the church. Every time we think we've seen the worst…' She slid further down into the tub, closing her eyes, trying to shut out the pain she felt when thinking about her real problem. It was unfair – why did it have to happen to her?

Seeing the pain in her face he almost felt foolish for not having realized what had been bothering her, and he reached out to her, forcing her to look at him while he stroked her face, wanting to comfort her. But as he looked her in the eye he had a feeling that there was more to the story than she told him and he wanted to ask her about it, encourage her to confide in him, but he knew that pressuring her wouldn't get him anywhere. She would tell him in her own time.

'Are you hungry?' He tried a different approach, asking her a question so neutral and empty that she couldn't refuse answering, and she slowly nodded, giving him a chance to suggest,

'What about Chinese? I can go get some.' He put the wine glass down, waiting for her reply, watching her sit up a little straighter, stating,

'Sure, that would be nice…' Giving her a light kiss he got up, almost in a hurry, telling her that he would be back in 30, then leaving the house without further delays.

Watching him go she almost felt relieved – his presence was in some inexplicable way unsettling and she just wanted to be alone, to try and work through her issues on her own.

Taking a sponge from the top of a counter by the tub, she started scrubbing herself, wanting to get rid of Sark for good. She no longer wanted to see him when she closed her eyes or feel his hands when ever Vaughn touched her – she wanted him off her body and off her mind! Thinking about him her every movement became more fierce and violent and she practically hurt herself when trying to clean different parts of her body, because she realized that it didn't help! No matter how hard she scrubbed she still felt him on her, forcing her, hurting her, and she clenched her teeth trying to keep the pain and frustration inside, to keep herself under control. But her feelings soon overcame her and with a desperate cry she threw the sponge through the room, feeling tears streaming down her face. With no attempt to stop them she put her arms around her knees, resting her forehead on them, just letting herself go. She no longer knew what to do.

- - -

Not knowing how much time had gone by she got out of the tub determent to dry of and get dressed before Vaughn got back. The thought of him seeing her naked was very unappealing to her and she quickly grabbed a towel, starting to wrap it around herself, when she noticed something on her groin. Letting her fingers run over it she frowned, feeling angry when realizing what it was – it wasn't enough that he had raped her, he had to mark her too! Standing there, sending Sark straight to hell in her thoughts, she suddenly heard something behind her, and with a surprised gasp she turned around.

It hadn't taken him as long as he thought to get to the small Chinese place down town, and his hunger had made him return even faster. Anxious to start eating he had put the food on the kitchen table, removing his jacket, hereafter silently walking towards the bedroom with the intention to tell Sydney that he was home. Hearing her move about in the bathroom he was on the verge of calling out to her, but as he reached the doorway some indescribable force stopped him, making him stand back with utter admiration.

An all consuming feeling of love and passion immediately filled him, sparking both a physical and emotional reaction the instant he saw the beautiful woman standing by the bathtub, swiftly wrapping a big, white towel partially around herself. Her body was still glistening wet but her hair only seemed damp and a few strands were elegantly framing in her face, making it impossible for him to do anything but study her carefully, while holding his breath, not wanting to disturb her. 'She is so beautiful…' he thought, watching her while she gracefully took a few steps, attempting to start drying off. He then changed his mind, 'No, she isn't just beautiful… she is much more than that.'

Through the years he had known a lot of beautiful women but the moment he had met Sydney it had been obvious that she was different. She wasn't just another attracting woman, she was a complex, intelligent and intriguing person full of ideas, principles and believes and that fascinated him more than anyone could know. For the first time in his life he had found a woman who could also be his best friend, someone he could share all aspects of his life with – someone who he knew always would be there for him. 'A match made in Heaven,' he thought, considering how great they were together and how much he… Almost feeling sloppy he paused, telling himself how stupid it was that he didn't just let her know that he loved her. How hard could it be! But he had never been very good at talking about his emotions, and by the look on her face he concluded that this wasn't the time. He hadn't noticed until now but she still looked depressed, even angry, and he hated the fact that he couldn't help her – that she wouldn't let him. 'But maybe I can take her mind of things,' he thought, feeling his need for her grow as he snuck towards her, making her turn around with a gasp when she first heard him.

Her reaction was far from what he had expected. The second she saw him she covered up completely, almost on reflex it seemed, and instead of greeting him she managed to fully avoid his touch exclaiming, 'God Vaughn! You scared me!' His otherwise so self-confident smile faded, the fire in his eyes being put out, instantly replaced by concern and worry – no mission had ever gotten to her like this one, she had never let it. What was so different this time?

Completely taken aback he frowned, not knowing how to respond. She was really shaken up – standing there she looked fragile and insecure, clinging to her towel as though it was a lifeline. He couldn't stand it anymore, he had to know what was going on! Taking a few steps towards her, he begged,

'Sydney, what's wrong? Please talk to me!'

'I can't…' she whispered in a voice far from audible, feeling her throat contract, while looking up at Vaughn doing her best to smile when saying, 'I'm just a little besides myself today… that's all… I think I need a vacation.' The unsatisfied look on his face made it obvious that he didn't believe her and she almost wanted to tell him the truth while standing there waiting for his reply.

She was lying. There wasn't a doubt in his mind, and he was getting irritated – what had happened that was so bad she couldn't tell him? Sydney usually never had a problem with telling him how she felt or if something bothered her and she therefore needed some space, so why did she lie? Why wouldn't she confide in him? He stared at her, involuntarily showing her how he felt, and she responded by walking up to him saying,

'Vaughn I'm sorry… but I just…' she paused, her eyes showing her sincerity and thoughtfulness when she slowly continued, '… I just have a problem and I feel that it's too personal to share with you. I need some time, that's all, and then I'll be all right. You don't have to worry.'

He nodded, indicating that he had understood what she said, but still he didn't know what to make of it. "Too personal"? They loved each other! She could tell him anything. He wanted her to tell him everything…

'I put the food in the kitchen, just come out when you're ready and we'll eat.' While he talked he smiled at her half-heartedly, starting to turn around and leave the room. She just nodded, letting him go.

- - -

Their dinner had been terribly awkward and Sydney wasn't feeling well when she sat down on her bed preparing to go to sleep. She was unbelievably tired but in spite of that she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep – she feared nightmares and recollections of what had happened, and in some way it also upset her that she was going to share her bed with Vaughn. Considering that last thought she frowned – it was so wrong of her to think like that! If she could choose between anyone, Vaughn was the one man she would want to be with, but still he was a man. And right now all men were the epitome of hurt and humiliation to her and no matter how loving, caring and gentle he was Vaughn was no exception.

Spotting her boyfriend as he entered the room, she looked at him closely, telling herself over and over again how stupid she was for feeling the way she did. Vaughn was her lover, her soul mate, and best friend and she wanted to be able to let him touch her, hold her, and love her the way he used to – she just didn't know how to deal with her emotions…

As she watched Vaughn undress a thought came to her – maybe she should just do it! If she forced herself to make love to Vaughn she might remember how wonderful being with a man could be and all her terrible memories would vanish. She knew it was a very naïve idea but she desperately wanted to believe it, and when Vaughn lay down on the bed she moved to her side, sending him a warm, seductive look of affection.

He couldn't figure her out. All night she had seemed withdrawn and depressed, barely wanting to speak to him, avoiding his touch at every chance she got, and now she was inviting him to get closer to her. It didn't make sense! His first thought was to turn her down – he didn't like the idea of being intimate with her when they were having problems but still he felt his body respond, aching to hold her tight, to make sure she still wanted him, and to tell her how happy he was that she had returned from Mexico without any injuries. So he turned to her, taking her in his arms, saying, 'I'm so glad you're not hurt Sydney, I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to you…' As he started kissing her throat she suddenly stiffened and he instantly pulled back, gently caressing her face while asking,

'Are you sure you want this?'

She nodded, emphasizing her point by putting her arms around his neck, firmly guiding his lips towards hers, and he finally relaxed, convinced that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. But he was wrong. When they finally kissed, the knot in Sydney's stomach became more dominant trying to convince her that this wasn't something she wanted to do. But she was determent to go through with it and she therefore ignored her body's desperate reaction when Vaughn's searching hand quickly found her breast. As he let his hand run down her stomach, several charges of panic rushed through her, and she tried so hard not to let him see her reaction. She didn't want him to know that she wasn't enjoying it but when he began caressing her hip and thigh, attempting to let his fingers slide down into her panties, she felt like she couldn't breath, her eyes filling with water as one sentence kept repeating itself in her head; 'I want to hear you scream! I want to hear you scream! I want to hear you scream!'

With a desperate sob she pushed him of off her, quickly getting out of bed, exclaiming in a tearful voice, 'No, I can't!' She was standing there by the bed, her hand shaking as she ran it through her hair, trying to pull herself together and stop crying. Not knowing what had just happened, but somehow feeling responsible, Vaughn almost ran up to her, asking, 'God Sydney, what's wrong! Please, please tell me what's wrong!' He was on the verge of tears himself, seeing the woman he loved so devastated, not being able to help her. When he reached out to her she took a step back, trying to explain, 'I… I just can't be with you right now Vaughn… I don't know what's happening to me…'

Her hand was still going through her hair, tucking the same strands behind her ear over and over again, when Vaughn suddenly noticed something. Her tank top was leaving a small piece of her lower stomach uncovered and it looked like she had been hurt somehow - when he took a closer look he realized what it was, feeling a surge of jealousy and rage wash over him, and as calmly as he could he asked her, 'Sydney, what is that?' Without giving her a chance to reply he shook his head with disbelief, adding, 'Is that… is that a bite mark?'

She looked him deep in the eyes, wanting to let him know that she was sorry, that the bite mark hadn't gotten there with her consent and she took a deep breath, starting to say something, when Vaughn cut her off,

'Are you cheating on me?'

It made perfect sense. Her 'problem too personal to discuss', the way she had been avoiding him, flinching every time he touched her – she was seeing someone else, some perverted creep who enjoyed biting her! What other explanation could there be?

'No! No Vaughn of course not! I would never cheat on you!' The desperation in her voice was obvious and she just wanted to explain. But how could she?

'Then how the hell do you explain it!' He yelled, feeling so terribly hurt, 'how could you do this to me?'

'I didn't!' She yelled, wanting to defend herself, 'do you really think I would let anyone bite me like that for fun?' She stared at him, her tear-stricken face showing her unease when she suddenly decided that she had to tell him – she had to give him an explanation and she didn't want to lie to him anymore. Clearing her throat she admitted, 'Something happened to me… in Mexico…'