25th day, 10th month,standard year 24933
Today, early in the morning, Master came into
my room.
"Are things all right?" he questioned.
I had a feeling that he'd been meaning to say that for a few days, but kept putting it off. I'm just a burden to him, I know it.
Besides, I had wished previously that he'd ask me that question, but I'd wanted him to say "Are you all right?" instead of "Are things all right?"
"I'm fine," I said. He gave a nod and turned to leave, then I said quickly, "Today is Clee's birthday. May I meet her?"
"Yes," he said. He didn't sound disappointed, but for some reason I'd expected him to. Before long I was hurrying down to the Room Of A Thousand Fountains. Our meeting place.
'Our'...I'm lucky to have such friends. Tahl, Clee, Binn, Somti, Mace...sometimes Nela and Plo...it's funny. Attachment is forbidden, and yet I don't know what I would do without them.
Tahl says I am gifted at randomness.
Anyway, I went to the Fountains, and found Clee and Tahl there. I gave a small bow to Clee, even though it wasn't nessicary. "Happy birthday."
She giggled. "Thank you."
We stayed there for a while, dicussing things- the past year, for example.
"This year has been hard for you, hasn't it?" Tahl said, looking at me. "I was thinking, last night...well, I wasn't really, I was meditating, or trying to...I think Master Thea really doesn't like me...and I found you came into my thoughts."
"What makes you think Master Thea doesn't like you?" I asked, a little bluntly.
"Oh...it's just that..I'm far from the perfect Padawan, that much is obvious," she said. "I don't think...well, I don't think I'll be a good Jedi. Look it me...I have a temper, and I'm impatient and no good at most things...and Master Thea thinks that too. We're meant to be going on a mission tomorrow, but I think she'll leave me behind at the last minute." She didn't sound at all upset when she said all this, but I know one thing about Tahl a lot of other people don't: the less upset she sounds, the more upset she probably is.
"You'll do just fine." I said. "You will."
"Well, I hope so."
We swam for a bit. Not for a long time, though, because there were classes as well. But after classes, in the evening, Tahl came to my Master's quarters to see me.
"Going now," she said with a small smile. "She did take me, after all."
"I knew she would."
"I'll see you later, then."
She doesn't say goodbye often. She likes to say see you later instead.
*****
4th day, 1st month, standard year 24934
New Year's day was a few days ago, but I haven't had time to write before now. Master told me to spend the first day of this year meditating on things to come. I couldn't see a thing. Anyone will tell you foresight isn't one of my strengths. Thinking to far into the past or the future makes my brain hurt.
******
31st day, 1st month, standard year 24934
Tahl finally came back today!
Clee found me in the star-map room, called that Tahl was back and ran off, leaving me to follow her. By the time I got there, Tahl was speaking to Master Mapru, one of the Council Members.
"She was hurt," Tahl was saying. She didn't sound in the least upset, but me and Clee knew better. "It was my fault, Master,"
He examined her closely with his bug-like eyes. "Then go meditate on your mistakes, Padawan. We'll see that your Master is seen to."
He caught sight of Clee and me. "You two. You may console your friend later."
I don't know much about Master Mapru, but I know he isn't known for his warmth. Tahl had run off in the other direction anyway. It was a while before we found her. She wasn't meditating, and looked upset and angry.
Me and Clee sat on either side of her. "C'mon, Tahl," Clee said "I'm sure it wasn't really your fault."
"Yes it was," she answered. "I was showing off. Trying to impress her. I thought I knew things I didn't, and the other way around. She got hit by blaster fire and I thought she was dead for a minute." I put my arm around her at that point. She made no effort to shrug it off.
"We all make mistakes." Clee said kindly. "Thea will forgive you."
"I wouldn't count on it," Tahl said glumly.
"You can go to the Healer's wing tomorrow," Clee said comfortingly. "We'll go with you."
"Yes, I will," I said.
"You see? Things will be fine."
"All right," Tahl said. She wiped her nose on her sleeve, but she wasn't crying. She hardly ever cries.
"I shouldn't be afraid of her," she went on suddenly. "She's my Master..."
"Masters aren't parents." Clee said. "They're teachers. They make sure we're fed and looked after and they make sure we learn everything we're supposed to...and that's about it. They just care for us."
I think that's true. Tahl got up. "Thanks," she said. "I'll go see her tomorrow."
*****
32nd day, 1st month, standard year 29434
Me and Clee met Tahl at the Healers. When we went in, we found Master Thea on one of the beds, a blanket pulled up around her.
"Padawan," she said to Tahl.
"Tahl nodded. "Master."
"I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to talk to you." she said to Tahl. "Could you two please leave us alone for a minute?"
Tahl drew the curtains around the bed and me and Clee were left on the outside. We could hear bits of their conversation.
"...you are arrogant, you are disrespectful..."
Clee bit her lip. I imagined Tahl was doing the same thing.
"...and it's my job to teach you how to overcome these flaws. I won't send you away. I intend to do my job properly."
I jumped a bit at those words and I'm not sure why. They just seemed very cold things to say.
Before long Tahl said 'see you later' to Thea, and we left together.
"That could have gone worse." Clee said finally.
"Yeah," Tahl said, and she was very quiet as we walked.
*****