Dear Diary,
I was right and by god I wish I wasn't. I was going to be a mother yes that's scary especially with my role model but I wanted it and I was hoping for a boy not to continue the Morgan line of enforcers or mobsters or whatever but I wanted him to be named Luis and hopefully Lorenzo would realize with death comes life. Never got the chance to tell Jason either he was too worried about Carly going missing...again so I didn't want to worry him I wanted him to come home to me so we could talk I could plan a romantic meal and have a baby gift like a rattle or something and when he asks 'hunh' kidding Jase would never ask like that but I could smile and he'd realize he's going to be a daddy before he's my husband...wow we're quick…lol. I had it all planned out but then it got ruined and I was kidnapped.
It was very real he was too gone to care about our pasts he just wanted people to suffer as he was. I got out Jason was shot at and jumped out the window hope he has 9 lives or at least lands on his feet I was taken to the boat. I'll never go on cruises as long as I live. I jumped and almost drowned costing the life of my baby and the ability to bear children. I'm so sad but with this Lorenzo finally realized he couldn't lose his soul but I think I did.
Jason took me home and when he found out the baby and I never told him I saw the betrayal but there was nothing I could say 'oh honey I wanted to tell you hell I planned it all out but my lost 'brother' took away our child before I could ya that would've gone over real well so I let him believe I had kept the secrete because I did whether or not I had a reason was a moot point it was done and over with. I close my eyes and see our child and my heart breaks because he'll never be born well not to me maybe Jason.
Cor
Dear Diary,
We've slowly gotten past the bump and now we're married not for anyone but us. Beautiful wedding in France and Jase was jealous of the wine guy and the luggage one too it was funny I was tempted to tease him 'green's your color' but thought against it. I still felt like walking on egg shells but maybe it was in my mind. Sonny made a beautiful speech giving us a warning on what we could face but that we would face it together to make the future ours. The honeymoon was fun too he was jealous again. I think he should know he has nothing to fear I like my men tall spiky cool blue eyes and dangerous with a leather jacket and a motorcycle.
Cor
Dear Diary,
I sit here in an empty penthouse because my husband is out with his sister I know how selfish can I be since she's sick but I'm soo tired of being alone I've always been alone and now I'm dealing with depression over my child and Carly's present of a baby's blanky didn't help. Ya I know not her fault I'm just angry and bitter right now like Lorenzo was. I talked with Zander and that was helpful he knows how I feel about being bitter against life he finally gets the girl he's always wanted only to lose her forever and he knows her heart isn't with him but Nik Casadine yet he's ok with that. I told him about the miscarriage he was sympathetic and told me life sucks but you get used to it. I nodded and held him as he cried.
Carly came in and gave me a mini lecture on being there for Jase instead of moping selfishly, oh what I could tell her but it would be wrong to lash out at her like I did to Jase so I just held my tongue and nodded. Jase came in and I held him as he finally let his walls down then he left again this time for the job. I took the time to call my family and Victor told me he'd get the best doctors to fix the mess but I'm not sure I could do it again. What happens if something goes wrong during pregnancy and I lose it again two miscarriages I couldn't live through it. Victor understood but said he'd come up and we'd talk and he'd take my file to a specialist to see what could be done. Now he's my father and I love him soo much.
Cor
Dear Diary,
Lashed out Jase today...again. I really need to control these emotions Sonny gave me a brotherly lecture/advice. I needed to relax or I'd lose Jase the only good thing in my messed up life. I nodded and we had a nice brother/sister moment he hated my music which I wanted to cry because Luis also hated it and Lorenzo loved it. Sonny can be an ass, over protective, tyrannical but he does it all for love and I love him. Luis god I miss him, I had two brothers now I have one and Lorenzo...I'm too hurt to consider him my brother he took what I always wanted away from me a chance to be a mother and have a family. Jase works all the time now I barely see him. I'm on the roof right now sitting on the edge which is very symbolic do I just slip off and take the easy way out or do I remain and deal with my drama. I'm no coward I have too much mob blood running through my veins not to.
Carly has a new club it's called the cellar because that's where she found it in the cellar of Kelly's. She's still pregnant and I'm still sneaking her junk food against Sonny's orders...but then again when have I ever followed orders? Answer-never and I'm not going to start now.
Court