Katie went back to bed and slept soon after that, but the memory of the sight came back to her several times over the course of the next few days. She was beginning to have a vague suspicion of Sadron. But she didn't want to be right. Sadron was always very nice to them when they came in the stables. But then, Dorlarth had been very nice, too. They had rounded up all of Dorlarth's followers, hadn't they? But maybe they had missed a few; Dorlarth alone knew who all of his followers were. And, Katie remembered, Sadron had been absent from the stables right before they found the knife in Orain's grave. But, she reminded herself, it could've been place there by anyone at any time. Sadron could have put the note on the door of the kitchen before he rode down to the river—but then, so could anyone else. And that argument with Lossefalme—had she perhaps guessed it was him, and he threatened her not to tell anyone…

Stop it, Katie told herself. This is just silly. That conversation could have been about anything. Heck, it could've even been a lovers' spat! She put her suspicions firmly from her mind.

It wasn't hard to forget about it. Erestor and Vivian had begun to engage in very philosophical discussions, which Elrohir and Katie listened to with interest. Now that Katie knew Middle-earth and modern earth were the same thing, she began to take everything she learned and apply it more to herself and the world she was familiar with. It had opened entirely new areas of thought for her.

For instance, this idea of an afterlife, and the question of where Men's fëar went when they died. She had heard about heaven plenty of times when she went to church with her grandma as a kid. She had even hung out with the youth group for awhile, and particularly enjoyed when Vivian hosted parties for them. But everything they said was kind of too familiar to really sink your teeth into. This was different.

Vivian made a comment one day that Katie found particularly intriguing. "Men and Elves," she said, "must be almost the same thing, biologically."

"What do you mean?" Katie asked. "We can't be. Men are mortal, Elves are immortal…"

Erestor and Elrohir did not seem entirely surprised, and watched this exchange.

"Well, but think about it, Kate," Vivian explained. "In history, Men and Elves have intermarried and produced offspring. And that offspring has been able to reproduce as well." (Elrohir grinned.) "So biologically, Elves and Men must be the same species."

Katie opened her mouth, then shut it again. She couldn't argue with Vivian's logic.

Erestor was nodding. "Men are our nearest kin. We are closer in hrondo and fëa than any other creatures in Arda."

"So if we're the same species, how come we're so different?" Katie had to ask.

"Well, one of the reasons is that Elves have greater mental control over our bodies," Elrohir explained. "That is why we do not get ill as Men do. We are able to fight off diseases and heal from injuries much faster." Katie noticed that his hand went unconsciously to his side, over his mending ribs.

"That's also why you're more coordinated and stronger," Vivian suggested.

Erestor nodded again. "Yes, although when our kindreds were both young, Elves and Men were much the same in strength and speed. But our minds, our fëar, have slowly begun almost to consume our bodies so that we gain greater control."

"Well, but if that's true, and we're the same species, then why don't we get better and better control too?" Katie asked.

Erestor looked thoughtful. "It was once said that something happened to Men in their youngest days, before they had contact with Elves, and that it changed them. Men are much more easily corrupted than Elves, you are mortal and we are not, and you have less wisdom and skill and beauty. Some say that Men and Elves were always different, both in hrondo and fëa, but some hold that we were once much more alike." When he saw that they were interested in the subject, and Vivian in particular, Erestor went to his bookshelves and took down a volume.

"There is a story called Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth, or 'The Debate of Finrod and Andreth'," he said, flipping through the pages. "Finrod was an elf and Andreth a mortal woman—a wise-woman—and they were interested in just these questions. Ah, here we are," he said, and began to read.

"'Yet among my people,' said Andreth, ' from Wise unto Wise out of the darkness, comes the voice saying that Men are not now as they were, nor as their true nature was in the beginning… They say plainly that Men are not by nature short-lived, but have become so through the malice of the Lord of the Darkness whom they do not name.'

"Finrod asserts that since Arda is marred, nothing is as it should be, and even Elves are not as strong as they were originally meant to be. But Andreth tells him that he does not understand her words. 'The wise among Men say: "We were not made for death, nor born ever to die; Death was imposed upon us."'

"That's just freaky," Katie said plainly, and the others chuckled. "I mean…" she struggled to find the words for it. "If we lived forever, we would be so bored! It's okay for Elves; you don't get bored. But we would."

"That is what Finrod says, if I recall correctly," Elrohir told her.

"Really?"

Erestor paged through a bit. "Yes, here we are. Finrod says that then Men would have had imperishable bodies, but their bodies would not have been in harmony with their spirits, and that harmony is essential to both Elves and Men. The spirits of Elves love the beauty of Arda and are never tired of it, but Men see things differently. 'Do you know that the Eldar say of Men that they look at no thing for itself; that if they study it, it is to discover something else; that if they love it, it is only (so it seems) because it reminds them of some other dearer thing? Yet with what is this comparison? Where are these other things?... Whence comes this memory that ye have with you, even before ye begin to learn?'"

Katie glanced over at her grandmother. Vivian's eyes were shining as if with unshed tears, and she was absolutely beaming. "Finrod got it right," she said quietly. "Truer words were never spoken." She turned to Katie. "Haven't you ever felt it? Haven't you looked at something, and it was just so beautiful, and all of a sudden you felt—almost homesick, even though you knew you were homesick for a place you've never been?"

Katie frowned. Her grandmother's words struck a chord in her. When she had been in about seventh and eighth grade, she had often had that feeling, and had looked for it and reveled in it. She had forgotten about it lately, but she remembered now. Oh, she remembered.

Erestor read quietly, "'You speak strange words, Finrod,' said Andreth, 'which I have not heard before. Yet my heart is stirred as if by some truth that it recognizes even if it does not understand it.'"

Katie shook herself, as if she'd been under a trance. "So what does that have to do with our spirits and our bodies not being in harmony?" she asked.

"Well, Finrod says he thinks that unrest was always there, even if the Shadow that marred Arda made it worse. So Man's fëa would always be wanting to leave Arda, which was not its home, and then death would be a good thing. It would be going home!"

Vivian shook her head. "But then the body and the spirit still aren't in harmony, because that's disregarding the body."

Elrohir laughed. "I do believe you must have studied this debate before! For so Andreth says."

Sure enough, Erestor read, "'Nay, I do not believe this, said Andreth. 'For that would be contempt of the body… For were it "natural" for the body to be abandoned and die, but "natural" for the fëa to live on, then there would indeed be a disharmony in Man, and his parts would not be united by love. His body would be a hindrance at best, or a chain.'"

"I definitely understand that," Katie said. "That's what happens now—the body dies and the spirit lives on. And I hate my body."

Erestor and Elrohir looked at her in surprise, but Vivian nodded. "What teenage girl doesn't?" she said with an understanding smile.

"But now I'm confused," Katie continued. "So we're screwed up because our spirits want to go someplace else, but our bodies and they're not supposed to… So what on earth were we supposed to be like?"

"'Then this must surely follow:'" Erestor read, "'the fëa when it departs must take with it the hrondo. And what can this mean unless it be that the fëa shall have the power to uplift the hrondo, as its eternal spouse and companion, into an endurance everlasting beyond Ëa and beyond Time?'"

Vivian had an inscrutable look on her face, but Katie just shook her head. "That sounds insane," she said flatly. She had a sudden mental image of a picture that had hung in her Sunday school classroom when she was a kid, of Jesus floating in midair with all these clouds, and some disciplines on a hill beneath him, kneeling and looking up at him. "That's impossible," she repeated.

Vivian said nothing.

000

Elladan returned from the farms a few days later. Katie happened to be with Lithorniel in the hall when he came striding in.

"Good morning, Lithorniel; good morning Katie!" he said cheerfully, putting one hand on top of her head. "Have you kept Erestor on his toes?"

Katie swatted him off good-naturedly. "Grandma has. I'm not even sure I understand some of the stuff they talk about."

"You grandmother is a very unique person," Elladan said, watching Katie carefully.

"You can say that again!" Katie answered with a grin, not understanding his true meaning. "Well, it's nearly lunchtime; if you want to eat with the rest of us, I suggest you change!"

Elladan smiled. "Are you saying I am not presentable?"

"Weeelll…" Katie made a big show of hesitancy. "Your clothes do rather smell of horse."

Elladan laughed. "You are getting far too familiar with us, gwathel-nín!" he teased.

TBC

AN: Well, I meant to get to a bit more action in this chapter, but the philosophy went on so long, I didn't have room. You'll have to wait for the next installment.

I hope everybody could follow that philosophy. If you couldn't, please ask! It's actually important to the plot, believe it or not.

IwishChan: Well, I probably won't have Elladan chopping vegetables, but he's been planting little things! Does that count?

Neassa: I try. :)

cat: —grins— I will neither confirm nor deny your theory until such time as the answer is revealed in the narrative.

Princess Siara: I will tell you that the guy Lossefalme was talking to was Sadron.

Ravens Destiny: What, they're poppies or something? lol

Darkened Dreams: No comment

Madd Hatter: So you're not the Madd Hatter who has an account on ff dot net? Well, my email address is lunashau at hotmail dot com.

Thanks also to werewolflemming and Fk306!

Please review and let me know how you're getting on with the philosophy!