9th day, 8th month, standard year 24934
I got about two hours of sleep. Tahl woke me up early.
"These people I told you about...they're Karshan's wife and son," she said. I remembered the woman and the child. Them. "Both of them are dead...they were killed in the fighting on Avino."
"Is...that it?"
"I think...." She swallowed. "I keep making guesses about what happened, and they're all horrible....oh, why you?!" She'd set me off now. I was thinking all sorts of things, each one worse than the next. "Listen," Tahl whispered. "I think we need to talk with your Master, and maybe Yoda."
She took my hand, held it firmly and lead me out of the room.
(If you can hear me, Force, thank you for making her my friend)
*****
We waited for ages outside the Council room. That was where I wrote the last entry. I had to do something, I felt sick. Hot one minute and freezing cold the next. Tahl went off to find my Master and fate chose the moment she went away to have the Council tell me to come in and tell them what was going on.
I did.
And I will never forget the expression on Yoda's face. It was part "No!", part "Yes!" and part "What in the galaxy are we going to do now?"
"Tell me what happened." I said, and added "And tell me why I couldn't remember any of it." And the Council- Master Mapru included....looked at me like I'd turned into a Sith before their eyes.
Yoda opened his mouth to speak, and then my Master and Tahl burst in. Yoda, unconcerned, spoke anyway.
"Now is not the place for this. Padawan Jinn, return to your quarters. Padawan Wildstar, accompany him. Speak of this with Master Dooku, I must."
*****
It's been almost an hour and they haven't come back. I told Tahl she could go, and she didn't. She made me some food instead.
*****
They came back. I stood in front of them, Tahl sitting on a chair behind me, and they talked.
'Padawan, you must understand all this....'
'....we thought it was best you didn't know...'
'you shouldn't have found out...'
'Master Karshan, evidently, had a secret family on Avino. A wife and a child. They were killed in the war there...your Master used the Darkside and slaughtered a great many people. He...betrayed you.'
'Then, something made him come around. That something was you. Realising he could never reverse what he had done, he died in battle. He was anxious to ensure nothing happened to you...'
'...we were relived when we found you were safe...hadn't used the darkness, hadn't died...'
And they looked at me and I looked at them.
Why did they block my memories?
That was what I really wanted to know. What I said was:
"You might at least have given him a proper Jedi funeral."
When they'd all left....Tahl included....I hid under the bedcovers and cried.
****
10th day, 8th month, standard year 24934
I went to my Master's room.
"That was why they let me visit my parents, wasn't it? To get me out of the way."
He looked up, completely defeated. "Yes."
******
I had to talk to him again. "How did Dilan know?"
He frowned for a minute then worked it out. "Dilan is clever," he said heavily. "For fun, he builds droids to listen in on conversations, and he hacks into private records. You'd think one of us might have guessed, especially Yoda! He knows most of what goes on here, after all."
I nodded and turned to go, then he added. "Don't think....Padawan, we wanted what was best. I did. Yoda did. We're sorry for anything...." He trailed off. I mananged a smile and went to my room to write this.
*****
He betrayed me...