He helped her up and held out his waiting for her to accept he wouldn't push her but he also wouldn't step away she had to take some initiative herself so when she put her hand into his he held it and together they went inside to shower and change. He stood under the spray thinking about his ex-wife and how much he never really knew and how much he desperately wanted to learn and realized that was the problem before it was only she who wanted to learn and know things he just had just accepted everything at face value whether it was from the accident or not he didn't care he was tired of living with that excuse.

The doctors told him he couldn't feel but he knew that was a lie because when Courtney was gone he felt like he was dying and terrified of whether or not he could get her back. When she didn't tell him about the baby he felt hurt and anger. When she betrayed him he felt heart stabbing pain, anger and yet regret for slamming the door in her face without listening to her reason. He stood under the shower and realized the doctors said that was what he had to live with but the truth was he had a choice he could just follow what the doctor's predicted or he could actually live life instead of existing and also realized it was Courtney who made him live.

He turned the taps off and wrapped a towel around his sculpted body and wiped the mirror and remembered when she shaved him and sighed then turned shocked to see her sitting on the chair that his clothes had once laid on, "I thought we should talk and you're usually the most vulnerable after you shower, you let all the ice melt under the spray."

Jason nodded and didn't know exactly what he felt at that moment knowing she knew him more than anyone yet he really didn't know her, "So when are you most vulnerable?"

Courtney didn't pretend to not understand the question like most women or people instead she looked him head on and said simply, "when I'm with you."

Jason nodded, "So what did you want to talk about?"

Courtney sighed, "I really don't know. I know we need to talk and I know we should talk but I don't want to talk. I don't want to tell you anything because then you'll know and have something over me I'll be vulnerable and that's something I'm not used to. Acting vulnerable and being are different things Jase."

Jason nodded, "So where do we go?"

Courtney sighed, "I really don't know. You're with Sam and I'm with Jax so…"

She didn't get to finish because Jason had pulled her up and stared coldly into her eyes, "Don't. Don't lie to me any more I read your diary remember I know you aren't with Jax. Stop hiding yourself from me like I'm some sort of monster and you're the damsel in distress afraid of me because I know you aren't a damsel and you know I'm not a monster so stop lying, tell me the truth. We started our relationship on honesty…well I did."

Courtney broke out of his grasp and glared at him her electric blue eyes flashing like lighting, "Don't you dare throw this around on me I was honest I never lied to you, yes I kept secretes but unless you forgot so did you and you lied to me about spam's spawn so don't go all high and mighty on me!"

Jason sighed, "Damn it Courtney stop going on the defensive when we fight. We need to get these out of the way but we can't when you defend and then attack but not clearing up any of the confusion."

Courtney opened her mouth to attack again then sighed, "Fine Jax was just a bet; he made a bet he could get me into bed but he did lose even though we might've started to go further I couldn't do it then he got annoying so that's my relationship with Jax, your turn what about you and spam?"

Jason sighed, "I lied about her baby being mine it was sonny's I didn't want Carly to leave but she did anyway and my lie made everything worse. Now let me get dressed before we have this heart to heart."

Courtney shrugged, "Nothing I haven't seen before but if you want to be all modest I'll go take my shower I wanted to make sure I didn't get the back lash of you showering."

Jason shook his head after she left and looked into the mirror and remembered a time in the penthouse flashback Courtney called from the bottom of the stairs, "Jason! You home?" Jason was working in his office when he heard her and was about to comment when he listened and she spoke again, "Yes! Now I can take my shower without worrying about it fluctuating. Better yet I can get a bubble bath." He watched from the shadows as she scurried up the steps and smirked at her in amusement then when he was sure she wouldn't hear he used his cell, "Hey Stan do me a favor and tell Corinthos I'm taking a break from work. Why? Because I haven't spent time with my wife and I need to do that. Thanks man and if I'm so called whipped you're worse cause your woman has got you bad. Ya whatever Stan just do it."

He walked up the steps and heard the radio coming from the bathroom and stood in the doorway watching his heart's obsession bathe and sing along to the radio and then he crossed over to her she still didn't notice but jumped when she felt someone washing her back then relaxed into his arms, "You know my husband would get pretty jealous that you're here washing his wife's back. He might want to kill you like he did with Brian."

Jason sighed, "Funny. I think I can handle your husband and he had good reason to watch out for Brian he was going after someone that wasn't his. Ok enough of the act, so this is what you do when I'm not around?"

Courtney laughed and blushed, "Ya well you don't like the smelly stuff you always buy plain stuff so I assumed you wouldn't like my bubble bath stuff which is lavender and vanilla it soothes all aches."

Jason nodded, "Hmm you know baby you don't have to hide things from me I buy the plain stuff because that's what I need if you need your scents…which I do enjoy on you then buy them. Never hide yourself from me I love you."

Courtney looked up into his eyes, "its hard not to." end flashback

Jason got dressed but continued to think as he heard the shower run at the time he thought nothing of it but now realized he should have done or said something to learn what she meant. flashback

Jason ignored her weird confession and kissed her which she was more than willing to enjoy. He helped wash her hair and smiled lovingly as she moaned softly to his ministrations he knew how much she loved when he played with her hair or brushed it for her. Once she was completely pliant and he knew she would probably be half asleep he removed the plug then lifted her up and gently dried her off then quickly slipped her into one of his t-shirts which she had claimed as hers along with a pair of his boxers and likewise she claimed as hers then slipped her under the covers and kissed her forehead "Sweet dreams baby we'll talk later when you wake up." end of flashback

Jason sat on the edge of his bed fully dressed and cursed himself for pushing her aside as he had done times before. He heard the shower stop and soon she emerged dressed in black sweats and a white tank then sat down not on the chair like he expected and was used to…when angry or defensive she'd try to create as much space but she surprised him by sitting next to him on the bed not touching but she was still close.

He turned to her, "I remember something and I'm sorry I never pushed for more answers but do you remember when you came home and took a bath thinking I wasn't home?" As her eyes hazed over he knew she was remembering but he spoke anyway, "I told you that you never had to hide from me and you said it was too hard not to I ignored it and kissed you but what I should've done was ask you what you meant so I'll ask now what did you mean it's too hard not to?"

Courtney looked up her trip down memory lane over, "I just meant it was hard to…no you want the truth then let's take the steps in the right direction. I was tired of hiding from you but I was also tired and too exhausted to spill my heart and soul. I'm not used to letting people in and yes Jason I did let you in just because you didn't know all that much about my past didn't mean I didn't tell you things no one else knew. You know that snakes and spiders freak me out but I won't go screaming bloody murder. You know that scary movies scare me especially shark movies but I still enjoy watching them no matter what. You know that I love the rain and that lighting is beautiful to me. Jax doesn't and you know that fancy food and expensive liquor don't do anything for me, unlike Jax who thought he could wine and dine me with fancy shit when you know I'd be touched with pizza and beer or your special eggs. So don't tell me that you don't know me."

Jason nodded, "True. There's still so much I never knew and I want to know now. I don't want to be strangers any more baby I want my soul mate back you could read me and in all honesty I could read you, did you let me?"

Courtney sighed, "No it's not something I can control Jase which pisses me off and scares me more than anything other than….loosing you." She said the last bit quietly hoping he wouldn't hear though he did but he decided not to push her.

Jason nodded, "Ok so you have walls and I have walls how are we supposed to make this work?"

Courtney sighed, "I really don't know. You want to know me and like I said before I should let you know me but what happens if you find out more about me and decide I'm too jaded or not worth the time and that spam would make an easier lay?"

Jason shook his head smiling, "Ok enough bashing on spa…I mean Sam. I would never decide you're too jaded and not worth the time that's what this whole 'vacation' is for so I can understand you and show you that I love you. Look I'm not used to fighting for things but you and our relationship is something I'm not willing to lose because I didn't do anything. You fought before tooth and nail and I shot you down because I was basically a stupid ass but now I'm fighting but I don't want you just shooting me down because I shot you down."

Courtney looked away trying to control her smile because Jason knew exactly how she would react and her heart leaped when she felt his work roughened hand touch her cheek and turn her head back to face him, "Don't hide from me I know you're smiling and I want to see it I haven't seen it in a while but don't get defensive on me either."

Courtney sighed and leaned into his hand, "Ok I won't but I'm hungry so you want to take this heart to heart over dinner?"