a/n: hi. guess what guys? in a month and three days, it will be september. and then, after labour day, school will start. and once school starts, i will be in the eleventh grade. and that means two hour examinations. and universities will be looking at these grades.

so to sum it all up; in a month and three days plus labour day, i will be officially screwed. harhar.

When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world.

Nothing has been going right these past few days. First off, Stan Shunpike is still being held hostage for whatever reason the Minister sees fit. Kingsley Shacklebolt - no longer one of my favourite people - has been giving me funny looks, with huge smiles that signify that he knows something I don't. That or he's making fun of me. Either one. Mad-Eye too, is adapting one of the now famous Kingsley Jerk Smiles, and even sniggering everytime I walk past them. I don't know why.

Oh yeah. Remus will be back in three days. I haven't seen him since that small talk we had before he left. I have a resentment towards seeing him. I really do not want to face him.

The whole Order - Snape and Minerva not counted - sat around at the Burrow. Considering that it is now the only safe place to go to. The defensive spells put around the house haven't been taken yet, so it's really the next best thing... even if many other witches and wizards know about it.

It feels weird to be sitting around, with no Sirius. He was always there, present at every metteing. But then he was confined to Grimmauld, so he'd have nothing better to do except to attend the meetings. We've had four meeting since he left us. It's been quieter - Sirius always loved talking over people or interrupting them, especially Severus Snape.

Remus too hadn't been present for the last three meetings. I don't know what he does down there; how can he stand to live in such confinement? Unlike Sirius, Remus always listened to what everyone would say, before speaking himself. He'd often stop Sirius from interrupting or making rude comments to the reporters. It was funny to see how someone like Sirius, who is loud, impulsive and rash, be controlled by someone as warm and quiet as Remus.

"So then, Dedalus, you will be on guard duty at Diagon Alley."

I jerked from my daydreaming. Looking around, I caught Kingsley smirking at me. Gosh, one more annoying look, and I swear - I will punch him.

"And Fletcher, you shall be at the Knockturn Alley post."

Moody was giving out instructions for the fourth round of guard duty. Guard duty has been a real pisser these few days - it's all we seem to do. Yet, it's all we can do.

Moody was assigned to be Dumbledore's Second in Command; basically, he took over the head of meetings when Dumbledore himself wasn't present. And gave us orders. Order after order after order. Oh, and he's a bit paranoid. Just yesterday, when I had my lunch break, I went down the elevator to give Arthur a visit at his new post, dealing with magical trinkets or whatever it is he's doing. After one stop down, Mad-Eye came into the elevator with me, and stared crucially at me. Well, at my head actually. I had my wand stuck behind my ear while I was rummaging around for something in my bag. But being as clumsy as I am, I had dropped my notebook - the object I was retrieving from my bag - and my wand too had dropped and rolled to the corner of the elevator.

'Tonks!' Moody suddenly screamed, pulling me towards him by the elbow. 'What do you think you are doing!'

'I - I... was just uh... getting - ' I had started, mumbling as he gave me an intense look with both eyes.

'You weren't paying attention!'

'What?'

'What? WHAT!'

'May-Eye, are you feeling unwell?'

'Me? Unwell? Never! It's YOU feeling unwell!'

'Er... sorry?'

'Wand safety dear girl! Wand safety!'

'Wand safety?'

By now, I had a feeling of resenting him walking into the elevator. He sometimes got like that, Moody, when he sees something he thinks is wrong. Scary and mean. But I guess he's just trying to be helpful.

'Wand safety, lass!' he exclaimed, wagging his knarled fingers in my face. 'Never, and I mean NEVER, put your wand behind your ear! What if it ignited? What if your ear pops off? What if your HEAD falls!'

'Uh...'

'Don't go rummaging through your damn bag! Chin up, head high, eyes alert! What if you dropped something? But then you DID drop something!'

'Alright?'

'Your wand fell off! It could have ignited! And wands ROLL! What if your opponent took your wand? What would happen?'

'Well, he'd have my wand...'

'Damn right he'd have your wand! And a second later, he'd have you! You'll be ten feet under, Tonks!'

'Mad-Eye, this is getting ridiculous...'

I had missed my stop twice, as he wouldn't let me off without a proper lecture. A few people were waiting, but once saw mad-Eye in one of his lessons, decided for the better that they patiently wait until the elevator was cleared of us.

'Ridiculous! It is YOU being ridiculous! Don't you ever let me catch you doing such an irresponsible thing with your wand!'

'Alright, alright. Geez, don't have a seisure.'

'I'll have a seisure if the team were to lose an important Auror!'

'You think I'm important? Why, thank you!'

'It's not a compliment! I'm trying to teach you a lesson!'

'And I have sure learnt it well.'

My stop was coming, and this time he didn't stop me from getting off.

But as I headed towards Arthur's office, I could here him distinctly calling after me.

'CONSTANT VIGILANCE, LASS! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!'

Oh, I'll be constant in my vigilance. It would help me avoid you.

'REMEMBER, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!'

So I had a pretty good lesson yesterday about wand safety, compliments that aren't really compliments, and constant vigilance.

"So, Tonks, you'll be having the next week off."

I escaped from my ponderings to give a sigh of relief to these words. I haven't had a week off from guard duty in the last month. Along with my post at the Ministry, I can say that everything's been stressful.

"That's a wrap, everyone," Moddy announced, straightening the scrolls on the table and giving everyone a knod. "Always, remember - "

"Constant vigilance." Everyone rolled their eyes as they finished Mad-Eye's often repeated line.

"Very funny," he said, as he hobbled out of the room. "I'm off. Gotta send Dumbledore a letter..."

Slowly, one by one, everyone around me turned to leaave, bidding Molly and Arthur good-nights. I've decided to stay behind - I don't exactly feel like being alone.

The room was empty by now, with me as the only occupant.

"Tonks!" exclaimed Molly, looking mildly surprised. "What are you still doing here? It's a bit late..."

"Yeah, I know." I gave a sigh and rested my head on my arms. "I don't feel quite good."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

How on earth did she know I wanted to talk about something?

"Why do you think I need to have a talk?" I asked, looking up suspiciously at her. "Maybe I'm sick."

She shrugged. "Well, you seem perfectly fine. So it's most likely you have something on your mind."

"Well, that's true... but I don't exactly want to bother you. Are you sure you're free?"

"Of course I'm free, Tonks. My children aren't here, and there are no mouths to feed. Free as a bird."

"Oh. Alright then."

I paused a little. I don't know how to start such a conversation I had planned.

"It's about - " I started, but am interrupted.

"Hey, is there some sort of party I'm not invited to?"

Arthur had just walked in, lookng around curiously at us.

I gave another sigh and pulled a chair that had been tucked in beside me. "Have a seat, Arthur."

He took a seat beside me, and had conjured up three mugs of tea. I'm not sure if talking to Arthur would let me feel comfortable - he's always fidgety when it comes to issues such as mine. And he makes jokes, trying to pass of some humour in the situation. It just makes everything worse. But still, I like Arthur very much. So I guess it's alright.

"Alright, my dove," he said bracingly, giving me his full attention. "What is the problem?"

"Well, I dunno... you see, there's this guy - "

"Oh, it's one of those problems."

Arthur gave an uncomfortable shift in his chair, but since he had already sat down and offered his help, he couldn't get out of it. His ears were starting to grow scarlet, and I smiled inwardly to myself.

"Yes, Arthur. It's one of those problems."

"Well, go on dear," Molly said, patting my hand from across the table. "What is it?"

"Okay. Here's how it is." I sucked in a big breath, ready to let everything out. "There's this guy. And well, I guess you can say I've known him or a while now."

"Is he doing something to you?" Arthur asked, suddenly looking alarmed.

I have no idea where he got that from. "No... the thing is, he's - he's not doing anything at all!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I kinda... sorta... told him that I kinda sorta liked him."

"Oh, that's good!"

"But all he did was push me away. Or in other words, pull himself back."

Molly and Arthur looked at each other. But they showed different emotions. Arthur's was confused and embarassed. Molly's was that of affection and knowing exactly what the problem was.

"Well, Tonks," Molly started, shifting her weight on the chair and leaning forwards to me. "He's just afraid."

Why does everyone keep saying that? Is he really that much of a wimp? I don't think so...

"Oh, I know he's afraid, but - " I said, but paused. Is she thinking of who I'M thinking of? "Who're you talking about?"

"Well, Remus of course."

Okay, so this is awkward. Molly sat back, with a superiorly smug look, sipping from her mug of tea. And Arthur looks competely flabbergasted.

"REMUS!" he questioned with a amazed tone. "Remus? Remus Lupin, the werewolf?" Molly and I nodded. "Hold on a second here. Remus Lupin, the quiet, reserved, werewolf! Remus who's off in the underground? OUR Remus!"

"Yes, Arthur, now shut up!" Molly cried, exasperated at her husband's awe. "Besides, what on earth is wrong with Remus lupin?"

Arthur, who sometimes does quail under his wife's demands, shut his mouth and resumed to putting his hands on his lap.

"I asked you a question, Arthur!"

"But you told me to shut up!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, just - what is it with Remus Lupin that you're against?"

We both turned to loook at him. He looked thoughtfully and gave a shrug. His wife threw her hands in the air, giving me a look that cleary stated 'he can sometimes be a moron'.

"Really, Arthur," I said, my curiosity piqued. "What's wrong with Remus?"

"Nothing much," he answered, taking a sip of his tea. "I mean, I just never really thought you'd go for his type."

Molly's eyes grew thin. "Do you have anything against the man, Arthur?"

He looked affronted. "No!"

"Then what?"

"Well, it's just that, I just always thought Tonks would go for the loud type of men... you know... since she's a bit... volumizing herself."

"What a nice choice of words," I commented dryly to his description of me.

"But he's a good choice!" he suddenly said, shrinking back from his chair. His wife had given him a look.

"And Arthur's sure right," Molly said, following her husband's words. "He's a good man. That's what every woman needs - a good man."

"So you told him, did you?" Arthur asked, apparantly forgetting about Molly's look. "What did he say?"

"Oh, come on, now that's obvious isn't it?" Molly straightened herself in her chair and rolled her eyes. "He probably did his noble 'I'm not good enough for you, too dangerous' speech."

"Now give him some credit, dear. He's not that humble."

"Oh, yes he is," I mumbled, slumping in my chair, looking down. "Not to mention, his 'I'm too old for you, too poor for you' bit."

"And like I said before," Molly stated, once again looking superior. "Remus is an odd one. He's actually a lot smarter than he puts himself to be."

"I know he's smart. Look at him - he's practically a Scholar!"

"What's a Scholar?" Arthur questioned, looking intrigued. Anything about muggles gets him going.

"A muggle who is a sepcialist in a given branch of knowledge."

"So how do you get to be one - "

"Anyway, back to Remus," Molly said, breaking up the muggle talk, shaking her head. "Does he share the same feelings with you?"

"See, that's it! I don't - "

"Yeah, he does."

I whip my head to the right, looking at Arthur intently. "What!"

He gave me a surprised look. "You never knew?"

"No, I never knew!"

"How can't you?"

"How CAN I!"

"Why didn't you tell us!" Molly had stood up from her seat, giving her husband a whack on the head. "Why didn't you say anything!"

"But it was obvious!" he cried, ducking away from Molly's hand, about to slap him again.

"Yet you acted as though you knew nothing, a few minutes ago!"

"Well, I didn't know Tonks returned his... likings?"

Molly sat back down on her seat, trying to stop herself from fully throwing him across the room.

I grabbed Arthur's arm. "He likes me?"

"Yes," Arthur answered, covering his head just incase.

I threw his hands back to his sides. "How do you know?"

"Like I said before, it was obvious!"

"If it were obvious, then I would have known! Molly would have known! Everyone would have known."

"Well, you two don't exactly spend much time with him..."

"We do too!" Molly and I both yelled, completely affronted.

"Okay, fine. Maybe it wasn't obvious with you two. He's a bit shy with women."

"But he's never shy with me!" I cried. "We always talk!"

"Shy about his feelings towards women, maybe."

"What do you mean?"

"Tonks, he's not as bold as you - he's not going to go up to you and confess that he likes you. He's just emotionally unstable when it comes to relationships."

"So how do you know?"

"Oh, you see the signs."

"WHAT signs?"

He stroked his chin, staring at the ceiling. "For starters, he's always out with you."

"Yeah, on Order business!"

"Other than Order business, weren't there times that it was just the both of you going out for no reason whatsoever tied with work?"

Now that I think about it, he has a point.

"And, when I have conversations with him, he suddenly spaces out with this weird smile on his face."

I always thought he was just remembering about Sirius and James and everything else in the past.

"And we often see him giving glances towards your direction."

Interesting. I didn't know that.

"That, and he told me."

What?

"Oh, and Kingsley."

AND Kingsley!

"And now that I've told you, only the five of us know. So please, be quiet on the subject."

He likes me!

"See, dear? There's nothing to worry about." Molly had taken my hand, giving me a smile. "He'll come to his senses."

But everything faded. What senses? Remus had no sense. If he had some sense, he would have told me earlier. If he had sense, he would have at least said something when I confronted him about my feelings. If he had sense, he would't be stuck underground doing whatever it is he's doing. If he had any sense, he'd be here right now.

But he has no sense. He didn't tell me earlier; he didn't even tell me when I told him. He's stuck underground with potentially dangerous werewolves, instead of being here. And I'm here, talking to the Weasleys about my love life.

"I don't think he'd come to his senses." I took my hand away from Molly's grasp, feeling even worse than when I'd started.

Both husband and wife exchanged glances. looking uncomfortable.

"If you want, Arthur and I could talk to him," Molly gestured, with a small smile. "We could help clue him in."

"No, really, that's alright. He must have his reasons for not saying anything."

"Don't be silly, dear. We'll talk to him."

"Oh, please don't, Molly," I said, with an alarmed tone in my voice. "If he finds out I talked about this with anyone, he'll hate me forever!"

"Give him a break, Tonks," Arthur said, waving his hands in my face. "He won't hate you. He doesn't hate that many people. Though if I were in his position, there would be plenty more on the list."

"Now get up," Molly said, coming over to the other side of the table, helping me up. "Put on a smile - girls always look their best when smiling."

I tried and gave the most feeble of smiles I had ever given in my whole entire life. I am the most pathetic person in the universe.

I grabbed all three mugs, and was about to be headed into the kitchen, untill Molly and Arthur stopped me.

"Uh, Tonks, maybe I should get those," Molly said, rushing to my side, trying to wrestle the cups away from my grip.

I held tightly onto them, feeling a bit annoyed. "I can handle a few cups, Molly. Thanks."

"But Tonks - "

"No, really, Molly. I'll bring them back to the kitchen."

She left me alone, but twisted her hands together, looking nervous.

And right before making it all the way to the sink, my stupid accident-prone self trips over the leg of a chair, sending the mugs to a crashing state.

"Oh dear!" Molly gasped, pulling her wand out. "Reparo!"

I feel like complete shit as of right now.

Arthur must have sensed my low self esteem, because within a second, he was beside me, with his arm around my shoulders.

"Think of it this way - Remus is a werewolf."

I gave him a look of disbelief. "I don't CARE if he's a werewolf!"

"No," he said bracingly, tightening his grip. "He's got the keenest senses! With him around, nothing can be broken! He's a speedy one, that Remus. Can catch anything in half a second."

"Gee, that sure makes me feel much better."

"You're welcome!"

Sometimes, Arthur Weasley can be the weirdest person I have ever endured.