This is a gay/ incest/ doing metal objects type story. Be forewarned that it is not appropriate for a young audience. Flames will be ignored or doused with urine.

Disclaimer: I have not stocks or any other ties to the name Full Metal Alchemist. I only borrow the characters and story for another, with no connections to the official Anime/Manga. I have but a small title to my name, which isn't much. No suing.

Alchemist's Conciliation

I've been dead for a while now, and I'm done moping about. Just floating around the area of a few friends still alive and wondering if I was alive, how I would fit into the picture. But now I just don't care. I think I can occupy my self for a while with just watching them.

My friends are Edward Elric, Alfonse Elric, and my man Mustang. Ya, I love my daughter and wife like hell but they aren't that interesting to watch. I must say though, that I was not ready for the sight granted to me that one night.

It was just a few weeks ago, and I heard from a passing solder that the Elric brothers were on a forced layoff for a week to heal minor injuries and rest.

As I 'floated' into the room to spy on the boys, I saw them lying opposite each other on the bed, Al rubbing his brother's feet.

I thought nothing wrong with that picture. The younger one loves his brother and would do any thing for Ed. But the thought of my brother doing that to me grossed me out. But back to the brothers. They were in the middle of a conversation when I arrived.

The last word I heard was 'hormones' before the boys fell silent. Now that's an interesting subject to speak upon.

Ed is around sixteen now, and he had dedicated his whole life to alchemy so I can see the problem. And that problem is that he has no idea what the fuck a bonner is. That boy has probably got so many questions about what is happening with his body. Sure he is short, but that doesn't mean that the rest of his body is refusing to grow.

And that's when I noticed Ed's height is the only thing short.

Ed groaned and rolled on his side holding his legs to his chest.

"Brother, are you alright?" Al leaned forward to his brother but Ed waved him off.

"I'm alright Al, just having a few weird pains in my gut…area."

"Does it hurt much?" Ed's face grew slightly red and I was laughing my ass off. Those poor boys.

"No Al," Ed scissored his legs and groaned again. "It feels kinda good. But these pants have got to go." Still on his side, Ed unbuckled his pants and pulled them down and sighed. I on the other hand, choked on my laughter at the sight of his boxers. His tight pants do no good for him. He must tuck it or something because his boxers were having trouble containing him.

Al gasped as he saw the swelling member. "I think you need a doctor. It looks swollen."

"It feels better when I hold on to it." Ed grabbed his member hard and hissed. His hips jerked and he let out a grunt. "Ah what is wrong with me?" I couldn't hold my laughter as I saw him run his hands around his member, his hips jerking again. This boy had no idea what he was doing, or what happens when he does so. Obviously he had never heard of masturbation and does not know how to jerk very well. The worst masturbator I've ever seen.

There was a knock at the door and Ed rolled onto his stomach. "Who is it?" Ed's voice was strained and breathy, but the visitor walked into the room.

Mustang was out of uniform, wearing jeans and a black shirt. If I was gay, I would think he looked hot.

"Mustang, something's wrong with Ed."

Mustang walked over to the boy and looked at him. "So, what's wrong?" Ed groaned again but didn't turn over. I saw sweat beads forming at Ed's forehead and I'm sure Mustang saw it too. "Are you sick?"

Ed forced himself to roll over and Mustang fell backwards into the chair behind him tipping it over. "I don't know what's happening. What do I do with it?" I saw Mustang swallow hard and right himself.

"Are you telling me you've never had one of those before?" His face was red and he didn't look like he knew what to do.

"One or twice but it just went away and they never hurt like this does."

Mustang sprang up pointing his finger at him. "You want me to believe that a boy your age never fucking had a bonner before? You can't really let me believe that you know nothing about being a man do you?"

Ed stood up with some trouble. "Hey, I grew up with only a mother, a younger brother, and a girl my age. I don't really concern myself with what is supposed to happen to bodies when they get older. It freaked me out about the hair and stuff, but what the fuck does this," he pointed to his bonner, "have to do with being a man? What am I supposed to do with it?"

Mustang calmed and sat back into his chair with an odd expression on his face. I wondered what he was thinking. "Do you want me to help you get rid of it?" I wasn't ready for that. Is he going to do what I think he is going to do?

Ed groaned again but nodded. "Yes, it hurts."

Mustang grinned an evil kind of grin. I don't think I knew my commander very well.

"Good, now sit at the edge of the bed and pull your boxers completely off." Ed did just that, with a sigh of relief when there was nothing containing him. "Now spit in your hand. Natures lube, the best kind when you have no lotion or any sort like that."

Ed spit in his hands and looked back at Mustang who had slouched in his chair and was unbuttoning his own jeans. I saw Mustang had an erection forming as well. Now I really don't know him. When did he turn gay? I was about to leave the room when I saw just how large my dear friend was. I'm not gay ok, but I do want to see were all this is going.

Mustang was now only in his shirt with a wad of spit in his hand and his member in his other. "Now do as I do." He smeared the spit all over his member and Ed did the same. Mustang started his ministrations with practiced movements. I am pretty sure he had done this quite often. Ed on the other hand, was rather sloppy. Every time he would get a good cadence going something would make him grunt and stop.

"I don't think I'm doing this right." Ed leaned forward and clutched his member to his chest. Mustang had another grin on his face when he stood and walked over to the boy. He sat behind him and wrapped one arm around his chest to his shoulder and grabbed Ed's member with his other hand.

"I guess I'll have to do it for you, wont I Ed?" Ed groaned and arched back into Mustang as he started jerking him off. My mouth was about to drop off I swear it as I saw Mustang suck on the pulse point on Ed's neck.

"Brother, what can I do?" The innocent voice of the forgotten brother snapped both men out of what ever world they were in. What could the boy do? I don't think he even had any equipment to work with, not to mention any nerves to feel it with.

"Ed, why don't you give your brother one of these. I think I can find something for him to do." Ed nodded and clapped his hands together and positioned them on Al's crotch area. After the bright light disappeared, there stood a raging ram-rod bonner underneath Al's cloth flap.

Still pumping Ed, Mustang moved over to Al and spit a big glob on the metal member and coated it completely. "Now Al, slowly crawl over your brother and slide gently into his little opening, here." He pointed to his anal hole. Mustang pushed Ed backwards toward his brother as Al leaned over him. Mustang crawled underneath Ed on his back and licked at the little opening. "Since Al can't feel what he's doing, I'll guide him."

He took hold of the metal bonner and positioned it up against Ed's back door. My gut clenched awkwardly as Mustang slowly pushed the object into the young boy's ass. Ed gasped out and gave a small cry. I saw his jaw was tight and he was trying not to make a sound like before. Did he not know that those small sounds were quit erotic? I could tell Mustang liked the sounds. His member jumped ever time Ed's breath hit it's head. It was a tricky position the three were in. Al was on his brother like any damn dog, and Mustang was underneath him in a 69 way.

Ed cried out again and dug his fingers in Mustang's hips and his forehead on his gut. Al was as far in his brother as he could get. Mustang looked at the member in his face and told Al to just hold it there a second while he got into position. Mustang was now face to face with Ed's sex and Ed was face to face to Mustang's. "Ok, Al, pull out as fast as you can, but carefully."

Mustang took hold of Ed's hips and took him into his mouth right when Al pulled out. Ed gave a hoarse cry and almost collapsed without Mustang supporting him. Mustang had Ed clear to the hilt in his throat and the boy's sac bouncing on his nose as Al dived back into his brother.

Ed looked lost in his own world receiving pleasure. He saw Mustang's raging bonner in front of his face and looked back to see what Mustang was doing to his own member. He seemed to think a little bit with a fuzzy mind till he timidly took the older man's sex into his own mouth. Mustang groaned out and took to eating the boy with new passion crazed vigor.

I had the urge to start stroking myself as I watch the three go at it. Al was driving himself into his brother with abandon but he kept a cool pace. The two men were sucking at each other hungrily. Ed's fingers had found their way to Mustang's ass and were mimicking movements by his brother. It couldn't have been more then ten, fifteen minutes since they started this, and I could tell that Ed was fighting his orgasm. Mustang must have noticed it too because he let go of Ed's member and told him to let go. Release himself. "Al, go faster and harder. Pull out roughly."

Al sped up and exited the tiny space at a grueling pace. Ed could no longer suck at Mustang with his pants and cries forthcoming from his mouth. Mustang went back to Ed's member sucking, it seems, even harder and fondling his sac.

Then the magic moment. With one guttural cry, Ed collapsed and Mustang chocked slightly with the amount of cum he spewed. Al ceased his movements and pulled out. Ed was loosing his girth as Mustang licked up any left over cum. Al was on his hunches and observing their commander. Ed fell over to his side still riding some waves of pleasure as Mustang sat up and finished his masturbations himself roughly. The arc that gave way from his head was high and far. Porn star ejaculation.

The two men were panting hard, trying to catch their breath to talk again. Al just sat there with a confused look on his face, watching the two. I think after watching that show, my jaw is now permanently stuck open. That was a bad combination. Homo, incest, and some kind of other thing. What do you call it when you have a spirit in a metal body slamming your insides? I have no idea, and I doubt they even have a name for something like that. But somehow, they made this work. It didn't completely shock me, though it was surprising at the beginning. Now, all I wish I had was a camcorder and some way to post it on the internet.

Ed and Mustang had caught their breaths by now, and Ed was putting his boxers back on while Mustang was fixing his hair. The boy was looking a little lost, trying to decide whether or not to watch the older man dress. Al was busy inspecting his new appendage to notice the thick air forming.

"So…what do we do now, Mustang?" Mustang was now finished dressing and looked over to the boy who was staring at his hands. That poor boy. What is he thinking? I know what I think; he just lost his virginity to a man…and his armored brother. Is anal sex and sucking off really considered loosing your virginity? I'm not sure, so maybe he isn't sure either.

"Well how do you feel, honestly? Tell me ever emotion you're experiencing." Mustang was sitting on the seat he previously occupied and had himself back into a commanding air. He was poised, and seemed to really want to know what the kid was feeling. Or was it just that he felt obligated to ask him and not leave him to his own skeletons?

"I don't really know. I know what just happened, but I'm not to sure it was supposed to happen. Really, I'm not gay in any way, and having my brother too, it's just not right. I mean it was good, and I really liked it," Ed was tripping over his tongue trying to say the right thing. Mustang hadn't moved an inch, not showing the slightest spec of what he was thinking. "But I don't think it was appropriate. You're my commander, and Al's my brother. But, what about you and me?"

Ed looked like a lost little boy. He was thrown into a new world, and was just now realizing the dangers, the uncertainties. New feelings, new changes, new every thing, and he had no idea how to organize it all. A different side of life. I just wonder how he will do when he gets his hands on a girl. Now there's a happy thought. And a funny one too.

"That is up to you. This doesn't have to mean anything unless you want it too. If you ever need help again, I'll help. But I am still your commander and this will not change any thing. Though, this also isn't something you go and tell every one. This was just a release, and I helped you like any friend would." Ya, what kind of guy friend sucks his other friend off just to help them? "Any ways, it is better that I helped you and not a woman. They get to emotional and crap. Here, there's no strings attached."

Mustang was up and heading to the door when he turned back to the two brothers. "I forgot why I came here in the first place, so when I remember, I'll just send you a notice. Get your rest kids." The door shut and Ed turned to his brother.

"Guess we better get rid of that. How do you feel any ways?" A clap of the hands and a bright light later, the metal member was gone again. Al sat looking at his crotch for a minute till a humorless laugh left him.

"A bit awkward, but I wish I had a real body. From the way you two were reacting, I want to feel that too. I felt oddly hot, like my soul was reacting even though my body wasn't. I want to do that again, though with my own body. I want to experience that kind of pleasure."

Ed sighted and nodded, probably remembering his own erotic fun. "I know Al, and I promise you, I'll get you your body back, and then you can have all the fun you want. But for now, let's go to bed." I left the boys to themselves as they turned out their light and crawled into bed for the night.

I don't think I pitied a more unfortunate group before. Ed is ridden with guilt for the disaster which had befallen his brother. Al was a body without a body. Both only want what's right with the other, and neither thinks of themselves. I, Major Hues, sad for two kids who are tougher then shit. And I think I have it bad, being dead and all. I can still watch my beloved wife and child, but those two, they have to watch each other suffer some way ever waking moment.

You never know what you have, until you loose it, and I am counting my blessings. Speaking of blessings, I have a baby girl who is missing her daddy. I should at least watch over them like the believe me to be doing. And maybe, instead of watching or thinking about two guys and a metal armor do the happy dance, I should go watch my wife shower and get off that instead.

Yes, I am a very happy man, even if I am dead. It has its downs, but some very perverted ups!

The end.

Very short one shot. This is dedicated to my younger brother who supervised and helped me think of things to write about. Also, if he didn't forget, his friend Yoko-chan said she would look into it. Though, I am not sure if she even remembers it. O well. I am not expecting much for this story. I only thought of it to either make my brother sick, or make him laugh. I accomplished both. Though, even if I did get a little queasy while writing, I quite enjoyed it. This really isn't something I write.

Ed isn't gay, just so you know. Just caught up in the moment and really needed to relieve himself. And Mustang helped him out. Who knows, maybe it will happen again, but we will never know…

3,116 words, whew. I think it's a good number.

Much love, peaces people.

Ymir-chan