a/n: alas. this chapter is a few days too late, is it not? of course it is.
first off, i'd like to apologize for the lateness. i was still writing it (or typing, whichever you prefer), but my finger broke. yes, my finger. the middle finger of my precious left hand. i'd tell you how, but i'd prefer not to embarass myself on the internet.
now,a fewof you might think that the left hand doesn't do much. but it really does. it was hard to wash myself, hard to type (seriously!) and hard to do pretty much anything. besides, there were many great uses for my middle finger, and since it's broken, i can't do any of them. (aka stick it up)
so it's been hard to type the story, and even harder to reread it and find mistakes. i had many mistakes due to the finger cast. yes - they have finger casts! i never knew that. it's quite amusing, actually. ANYWAY, i finally managed to sort it out, so here's chapter 8!
ANDDDD thanks to all the reviewers! you really did make me happy, like this : 8-). i love you guys to pieces!
so please do continue to review! and don't get too angry if the next chapter takes longer to come. what with my gay finger and a few outings of the month, my time is lmited.
"Why am I being dragged into this?"
"Because I still hold you responsible for not telling me!"
I don't know why I'm here. I'm suppossed to be leaving early tomorrow morning. And I'm here. Of all places to be.
"But Molly, dear, I'm not really comfortable in these situations - "
"You will sit down, and you will listen. Now sit down and listen!"
I raise my eyebrow as I watch both of them take a seat in front of me. This isn't good. I just know it. No personal talk with the Weasleys is ever good.
"Remus, we'd like to discuss something with you," said Molly, clasping her palms together on the table.
Already, the word 'discuss' sounds bad.
"Don't blame me for anything," Arthur chipped, shrinking back in his chair. For a man as great as Arthur Weasley, he's still a bit weak against his wife.
And his comment did not lighten my mood.
"What's this all about?" I sat straight in my chair, looking at them suspiciously.
Arthur's getting red. This is either going to be a personal talk, an embarassing talk, or something made to disturb me. I don't know. I'm vouching for the talk made to embarass me.
Arthur's eyes dart down to his lap as his wife clears her throat, preparing for the next thing to say.
"Nymphadora."
So, I was right. The talk made to embarass the shit out of me, made to make me feel guilty, and every other bad thing out there.
And, as said; not good.
I've always liked Molly Weasley. From the moment I first met her, seventeen years ago. When Gidgeon and Fabian were still here. She was always the caring type; a young woman who was already seen as a mother. Of course, she was a mother. A mother of five sons, two of them just a year old. She always made you feel secure. Was always there when you needed someone to talk to. You could just go to her if you had a problem - any kind! She'd still acccept you as if you were her own flesh and blood.
Yet, I have never met a woman as powerful as her. Not powerful in the way Minerva McGonagall was, or even Lily Potter. No, powerful in a way that she could control your everyone move, your every decision, your every breath. Powerful enough to have her husband quail under a single look, powerful enough to have a set of hyper-active twins under complete control. And powerful enough to have me sitting here.
Molly was always one to solve problems. This just happened to be a problem I did not intend for her.
But here I am. And here she is.
Oh, and here's Arthur too.
"We're going to talk about Tonks," Molly announced, straightening in her chair.
Her regal attitude always made things worse.
"Why?" I asked, sighing inwardly. I do not want this discussion. Do NOT.
"Because! We're not going to let you sit around and waste your life, Remus. No, we're not. We're going to help you through times like these. We're going to bring you some happiness. We're going to make it happen!"
"I noticed you've used the word 'we're' five times," Arthur said, a look of dryness in his eyes. "Why are WE doing this?"
"Because, WE'RE a team," she replied, waving him off. "And we, Remus - we will help you."
Help. I don't need help. I'm a thirty-six year old, middle-aged man. I've been a werewolf for twenty-eight of my precious thirty-six years. I have a job - a horrible job, but a job nonetheless. I have friends. I have a home. I have enough to eat. I have enough money to get by. I do not need help. I already have everything one needs to survive in such a cruel world.
"Remus? Are you listening to us?"
I raise my head slowly, lifting an eyebrow at Molly.
She sees me, thinking my attention has returned. "I know you like her."
"Like who?"
"Don't play games with me, Remus."
"What games?"
"She knows you like Tonks." This remark came from her husband, who was slightly redder in the face.
I narrow my eyes at him. "She knows?"
"Yes," he answered weakly, now slumping into his chair.
Do I sense a rat? I think so.
"How does she know?"
"It's obvious."
It's obvious. I know myself better than most people. I am a subtle person. I am a shadow; a person that anyone hardly notices. How can I make myself obvious if I'm hardly seen?
"You told her, didn't you."
"No..."
"You told her."
"I didn't!"
"Arthur, after me, you're the worst liar."
"But she forced it out of me!"
"I did NOT!" Molly slammed her fist on the table, making her husband jerk back, looking guilt-stricken.
I, on the otherhand, am probably ashen-faced.
"I can't believe you told her," I said, crossing my arms, leaning into the chair.
"Well, it's bound to come out some day," he answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "I mean, afterall. We all know you're pretty close with Tonks."
"Because we're friends?"
"Maybe you want to be more than friends," Molly said, her eyes shining. Why do women always have these weird looks when they're talking about love lives?
"We all know it won't happen," I said coldly, not looking them in the eye. "It's useless. It's pointless. It's - "
"Happening?" Molly chipped in, with a faint smile playing her lips.
It's not happening. Nothing is happening. We've barely said much to each other anyway. Why do people always seem to meddle with MY problems? First it was the whole entire 'you're a werewolf - let's take pity on you' bit, then the 'you look thin - here, take some potatoes with you' thing. And now this.
Am I really that sad that I have to be pitied in every single way? From my financial problems, all the way to my relationships?
"Nothing is happening," I said, heaving a sigh and drumming my fingers on the table.
"What's wrong with it happening?" Molly asked, folding her arms. "Why is it that you won't let yourself be happy?"
"I DO let myself be happy!"
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do! I let myself laugh. That's being happy."
"Nevermind, Remus. Nevermind."
So I won that argument. A smug look spreads across my face, while an angry one litters Molly's. It's true though. I let myself be happy. If laughing isn't happy, then I don't know what is.
"Can I go now?" I asked, tapping my foot impatiently.
But no - Molly Weasley is used to such behaviour as my own. "No, Remus. You can't go now."
"Why not?"
"Because we're not finished."
"Yes we are! We've discussed everything - you know, Arthur knows, Kinglsley knows, I'm a happy camper, and by jove - this is going nowhere!"
"It's going nowhere, because YOU won't let it get anywhere!" She glares at me from across the table, making me shrink back. Okay, so now I know what it feels like to be under the Molly Weasley glare. And it's not the most comforting feeling. I sure feel sorry for Arthur.
Giving a loud exasperated sigh, I slam myself into my chair. This is pointless. I could be doing better things. Like sleeping.
"First off," Molly announced, raising her eyebrow at me, "is that I think you are being a complete idiot."
Giving a grunt, I look around the room, avoiding her gaze.
"And second, she likes you. And now that you like her back, why are you still being so stubborn?"
"I am not stubborn," I mumbled, kicking the leg of the table. Well, it's true. I'm just...self-willed. Yeah, self-willed.
Shut up. I know it's the same.
"So what if I'm stubborn?" I said, looking determined at Molly. "My stubborness with this case is for the best."
"How?"
"Because, if it weren't, then there'd be an awful lot of regret."
Which is very true. Who wouldn't regret starting a relationship with someone such as myself? Society will look down upon Nymphaadora; they'll think she's being stupid and shun her away, just how they do me. She won't get to live up to her usual standards of good finance, a decent home, and satisfying food. She's young - in a few short years, she'll grow tired of me. See? I make good points.
"There won't be any regret. You're being silly, Remus."
"I'm not being silly!"
"Remus, there is a good chance - "
"Don't you people understand! How many times am I suppossed to repeat myself, over and over again! This isn't happening! Nothing is happening! I refuse to le anything happen! I don't care if she likes me, and I don't care if I like her! This whole thing is useless, and this whole conversation is meaningless!"
"Get a hold of - "
"I AM getting a hold of myself! Damn! Can't you see what's happening! We will each go our seperate ways, as we've already started doing so!"
"What does that mean?" Molly asked, with a look of uncertainty.
"She's got someone else to start with." I sighed, running my hand through mylimp hair.
"Who?"
"Is it that Eric Morse?" Arthur asked, bending forwards in my direction.
"Yes," I reply stiffly, not looking either in the eye.
And here lies a shocked silence. Well, Molly's shocked. I don't know much about Arthur.
"He was at the party today, dear," Arthur told his wife, as she still looked a bit confused.
"Which one was he?" she questioned, her brows furrowing.
"Oh, you know. The blonde one, from the Scottish Ministry."
"You mean the handsome one?"
"Yes, that's him."
The handsome one. That's him. The utterly good looking, smart, SCOTTISH Ministry employee, who's here to make me look like the the ugliest, least intelligent, non-Ministry employee out there. I despise men like him. It just shows you how superficial this world is coming to, what with all the good looks and whatnot. And I hate the way they can charm a woman with one smile. I can smile too. How come no one gets dizzy when I smile? Do I have a bad smile? Of course I don't... not that I'm beingboastful about anything, but I don't have a bad looking smile. I mean, it's alright I suppose...
"Well, never you mind about Eric dear - " Molly started, but Arthur cut through her.
"I like that Eric Morse. Nice boy, he is."
We both glare at him but he seems not to notice. In fact, he continues with his praises.
"Can you believe that he is only twenty-six? So accomplished at such a young age! At the top of the Ministry! I mean, how many witches and wizards can say that they are the Senior Representative for the Scottish Defense League? Not many!"
"Arthur - "
"And SUCH a fine fellow, he is! I don't doubt many women swoon over him! At least we know Tonks is on good ground with the guy!"
"Arhutr - "
"Can you imagine what the Ministry would be like if he worked for US! I heard he's great with Defense Against the Dark Arts - or so said Moody."
"Arthur - "
"He should be quite happy, seeing as he's found someone new. Or shall I say, he's rekindled with someone old? I'm just glad he chose Tonks. Or that Tonks chose him."
"ARTHUR!"
By now, my foot is tapping a million beats per second, I'm gnawing at my tongue, with my arms folded so tightly around myself that I could suffocate. Or shall I say, I could suffocate Arthur? One more comment about Morse and I fucking will.
"What, dear?" Arthur asked, oblivious to my anger, and thathe praised for Morse. And that he did it in front of me.Molly gapes at him with astonishment.
"What?" she repeats, snapping out of her stare. "We aren't here to compliment Eric - "
"You know, he really is a nice boy. He's got it all - fortune, fame, good looks - everything!"
That's it.
Before I know it, my hands are around Arthur's neck, and there's a restraint feeling around my middle. Hey - I said I'd strangle him if he pissed me off one more time.
"Remus - don't!" Molly cried, trying to pry me away from her husband. For a small woman like Molly, she's exceptionally strong.
"Can't... breathe..." Arthur whimpered, holding onto my hands.
"Remus! You're choking him!" Molly cried again, though with more fear in her voice.
"I know!" I said menacingly, tightening my grip.
"REMUS! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF - NOT MY HUSBAND!"
I suddenly pause as I hit reality again. Though my fingers are still wrapped around the flesh of Arthur, I turn to look at his wife, who now seems to be sporting a look of fear, anger, and threat.
"Please," Arthuradded weakly, his face literally purple.
I quickly let go of the man, feeling pure guilt. "I'm sorry, Arthur! I didn't mean to - "
"I'm sure you didn't," he replied, hacking and rubbing his throat. He gives me a glare.
"Seriously - I'm extremely sorry! I didn't know what made me lose control!"
"It's okay," he said mildly, though not looking at me. "I'm sure we all lose control a few times in our lives."
"Really Arthur - I'm sorry! Are you okay!"
"He's FINE," Molly answered, but with an edgy tone to her. "Are YOU fine, Remus?"
I don't know. Am I fine? Do I really want that stupid Eric Morse with Nymphadora? I saw the look on her face while she was talking to him earlier today. She looked happy - happier than I've seen her for the past few months. I want her to be happy. If being with him makes her happy, then what am I suppossed to do? Not let her be happy? I can't do that. She's going to be happy with Morse. And I will just have to be fine with it. So really, I guess I'm fine...
I nod slowly, unsettling thoughts clouding my brain. Why is it that I think too much? James always told me I think too much. That thinking wasn't good for you. That sometimes, you just had to let your brain go and follow your gut. Of course, he always followed his gut, leading him to a few misfortunate situations involving the Giant Squid. But his gut got Lily to agree on a date with him. It landed him with a girl!Myabe I do think too much.
"Maybe she'll be happy with him." I muttered, playing with my fingers. I look up to see Molly and Arthur glancing at each other.
"Remus, don't be silly - "
"Can you stop telling me that I'm being silly!" I cried in exasperation. "It's getting annoying! I'm NOT being silly!"
"Oh, you sure damn are," Arthur mumbled, sitting higher in his seat.
"Excuse me?" I said, glaring at him. He doesn't back down, but instead, looks me straight in the eye.
"You are sometimes the most difficult person I have ever encountered!" he said loudly, running a hand through his thinning hair. "You refuse to see problems, you deny your feelings, and you're selfish!"
I am NOT selfish!
"You're only thinking about yourself, Remus! You think you're protecting Tonks from yourself, but you're NOT! You're protecting yourself from YOU. She doesn't care about your petty problems. She's let them go! Why can't you!"
I'm not selfish...
"She likes you, okay? She LIKES you! And since you like her too, why can't you be a man and tell her that? Becuase you think you're too old? You're not too old! And she's not a kid herself, Remus. She's as capable as you are, and probably more intelligent!"
He shakes his head and turns to his wife, giving her a shurg. She looks taken aback - Arthur Weasley never yells at anyone. Arthur Weasley never accuses anyone. Arthur Weasley never insults anyone, saying they lack intelligence.
Arthur Weasley has gotten more respectable as of this moment.
"Are you going to do something about it?" he asked suddenly, loking my way.
I look slowly back at him. "I'll think about."
"Well, think fast, because you don't have much time."
"You say that like I'll die anytime soon."
"You just might."
"Arthur, that's not a very comforting thing to say," his wife inputted, wringing her hands nervously.
"Do something before it's too late, Remus," Arthur said gravely, resting his hands on the table. "Who knows? You might just get the greatest thing out of it." He nods at Molly, who blushes crimson. She mutters something that sounds like 'Oh, Arhur...'
With this little exchange, I remembered that Molly and Arthur had gotten married quite unexpectedly. The times were dark, and people had rushed into many things, especially marriage. I remembered how Fabian Prewett didn't much approve of Arthur, or how Arthur's own mother didn't approve of Molly. But look at them now - though Fabian isn't here anymore, he still gave them both his blessing. Mother Weasley eventually accepted Molly and they're now pretty close. And Molly and Arthur - they're so happy. Even if the dark times have returned, they're still together.
Still together. And still happy.
I don't know. I'll think about it - even if I do think too much.