Disclaimer: Still don't own Teen Titans.
A/N: Thanks for the feedback. You guys are amazing, in case I don't say it enough. It's great getting reviews, even better getting comments, and best of all knowing what you guys think.
Demon Hunters
Chapter 23: Soul Searching
"Time for the movie," Beast Boy announced, his finger hovering just over the emergency button that would call forth Robin from whatever time-consuming project he was no doubt involved in.
"Do you truly think that is a good idea?" Starfire asked nervously. "Will not Robin be coming soon?"
Beast Boy gave Starfire a knowing look and hit the button.
Robin sprang into the room only a matter of seconds later. "What's wrong?" He noticed everyone assembled and the DVD in Beast Boy's hands. "Beast Boy, if you called me in here to watch another movie…"
"It's movie night," Beast Boy said with a grin. "Besides, we need some team bonding, don't you think?"
"I agree!" Starfire chorused enthusiastically.
There wasn't much Robin could say to that. With another strict reminder about the importance of the emergency button, he flipped over onto the couch. Starfire sat next to him. Raven took a seat next to Robin while Cyborg sat on the other side of Starfire.
Beast Boy put the DVD into the player and quickly sat next to Raven, careful to keep his distance. As the movie started, he got a little braver and crept up next to her.
Raven lowered her shields, just a little.
She smiled at Beast Boy, reflecting his happiness. She snuck a glance at her teammates to see if any of them noticed, but they all seemed to be absorbed by the beginning of the movie. Starfire certainly was looking lovely tonight.
Raven had meant to turn back to Beast Boy, but she found herself captivated by Starfire's eyes, her hair… She leaned over across Robin, who gave her an odd look, and, for perhaps the first time in her life, gave Starfire a hug.
Starfire unthinkingly returned the hug with exuberance.
She's so beautiful, Raven thought. She's so… aw, crap. Raven slammed her shields up before she did anything she'd regret. She retreated without looking at Robin and watched the rest of the movie in silence.
Beast Boy was waiting for her in her room when she got back.
"How did you beat me here?" she asked, letting her shields slip.
"I have a few tricks," Beast Boy said with a smile, glancing up at the air ducts.
She felt his twitch of pride at outsmarting her. And his playful desire to get the best of her. She reached out with her magic and held him in place. "Oh, so you think you've won?" She pinned his arms to his sides and mercilessly tickled his stomach.
He twitched and flopped, trying not to laugh, but finally broke down and begged for mercy.
Raven released her magical hold on him and the two collapsed into a half-embrace. Raven felt his contentment, and sighed happily.
Beast Boy pulled away from her.
"What's wrong?" she asked, feeling a stab of unhappiness from him.
"You're just mirroring back my emotions, aren't you?" he accused.
"Yeah… is there something wrong with that?"
"It's not what you're really feeling," he said. "It's not coming from you."
"But it should, if I had my emotions. And it's perfect this way. If we ever break up, it'll be mutual. If you stop caring, then I'll stop caring," she said with a shrug.
"It's still not the same. You're playful because I'm playful."
"Don't you like playful?"
"I like you."
Raven wondered if he really meant that. Surely he'd rather have someone fun to be around, not the dark, grim, depressing creepy-girl he usually saw her as.
"Besides Raven… then that means you could just do this with anyone who cared about you."
She shrugged. "That's true…" She blushed thinking about how she had felt Robin's feelings for Starfire. "But I'll only do it with you," she said with a smile. She felt a ripple of happiness, but the underlying discontent didn't budge. Why wasn't he happy? At least when she felt his love for her, she just felt love, so she could channel it towards him instead of loving herself…
"It's the best I can do, Beast Boy," she said softly.
"It just doesn't feel right," he whispered, standing up to leave. From the surge of sorrow that hit her, she knew he was upset. Tears crept into her eyes. "Just think about it a little, okay?"
She nodded, pulling up her hood and pulling up her emotional walls as well. The sorrow faded and she relaxed a little as she watched Beast Boy walk off.
With a sigh, she teleported to her room, intending to meditate. She sat with her mirror in her hands and went into trance.
She found her mind disturbingly vacant. She wandered the usually active realm of Brave, then the formerly sickeningly cheerful land of Happy. Who am I without Happy and Bravet? And the others, for that matter?
Who am I without Love?
Raven set down the mirror and hastily scrawled a note to her teammates so they wouldn't worry. She left it just inside her room, where they would be sure to see it; where Beast Boy would be sure to see it, when he inevitably transformed and came into her room as a fly or a gnat, or something.
She stepped into the shadows. Some small part of her knew where to look, had been screaming where to look, but she had ignored it as a foolish whim. She took a deep breath. No, this wasn't going to be easy, but it was necessary.
There was no denying it, now.
Raven disappeared.
The note on the floor, in Raven's precise handwriting, read:
I've gone to reclaim what's mine.
-Raven