Disclaimer: I own nothing. A bit in here is an exerpt from the Chamber of Secrets book and movie. Also, Le Grimoire contributed many helpful ideas, like Phineas and the letters, so they aren't mine either. :)
Fly Like A Phoenix
Dumbledore paced in his study, deep in thought. Soon he would try his experiment to see if he could transport himself to Grimmauld Place, despite Remus's sealing spells. But first, he wanted to get some inside information on how they were doing, and what he was to expect.
"Phineas," he said firmly, addressing the portrait of a man who appeared to be dozing. Dumbledore knew better, however. "Phineas, I know you're awake. I need you to run me an errand."
Phineas cracked an eye open reluctantly. "An errand?" he asked haughtily, "What kind of errand?"
"I need you to tell me how things are faring at Grimmauld Place."
Phineas looked quite grouchy at that. "As you wish, Dumbledore," he sighed, and instantly disappeared.
About ten minutes later, Phineas reappeared inside his portrait. "I saw that half-breed —"
"Remus Lupin," interjected Dumbledore.
" — with the girl. Evidentally, he sleeps on a mattress on her floor. I heard him asking what she wanted for breakfast, and he took a memory from her head and placed it in a bowl. A Pensieve, I think. Awhile later he nodded and left the room, coming back a few minutes later with pancakes. Then he used his wand to feed her, and asked her if she was feeling better after last night."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "Did you get any indication about what had happened?" he asked. What could have upset Hermione? Did Remus do something?
"Yes, Albus," he drawled. "It seems she'd been bawling about something — I would, too, if I was stuck alone in a house with a werewolf and I were her — and Remus made her feel better. You should have seen the way they were looking at each other, it was sickening."
Dumbledore suppressed a smile at Phineas's look of pure disgust. "Then what happened?"
"I left," said Phineas. "I wasn't going to stick around to see if they were going to snog." He grimaced.
"Thank you, Phineas. I'm going to see if Fawkes will be able to take me there." Dumbledore grasped Fawkes's tail feathers tightly with one hand, holding a bag full of books, clothing, and letters in the other. Any moment now, and he'd know if it would work.
Dumbledore felt a firm tug as Fawkes took flight. The world swirled around them. Calmly, Dumbledore waited, suspended in space. He felt a floor materializing underneath his feet. The world stopped swirling to reveal his successful arrival at Number 12, Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore observed that he was now in a room with Remus and Hermione. "Greetings," he said, eyeing Remus and Hermione curiously.
Remus whipped around, wand drawn, his body in a protective stance.
"Calm down, Remus, I'm quite on your side," said Dumbledore. "I have brought some things for you."
"How did you get here?" Remus asked nervously.
"Fawkes towed me here," explained Dumbledore. "Don't worry, Remus, there's no other way to get here that I know of."
Remus resumed feeding Hermione, his own breakfast forgotten. "What did you bring?"
"Letters from Harry and Ron, some clothes and food, and your surprise." He pulled Hermione's schoolbooks out of his bag. "You're right, just because she's not at school doesn't mean she can't keep up with her fellow students, learning the theories of what they're studying, at least. I'm sure when she gains her mobility and speech, she'll be ready to join them again." He turned to Hermione. "I'm glad to see that you have beat the odds, Hermione. Happy Birthday."
Hermione smiled at him with her eyes. "It's your birthday?" said Remus in surprise. "I didn't know that. Happy Birthday, Hermione!"
"Remus, I must ask you a rather personal question," Dumbledore said, distracting Remus from his birthday wishes to Hermione. "How are you handling her washroom needs?"
Remus looked visibly embarrassed, his cheeks flaming. "Well, I use magic… the Lustral charm, levitation, and—"
"Say no more, Remus, I trust you. I daresay you wouldn't mind having a woman come and do it for you?"
"Yes, that would be appreciated," Remus answered, still feeling rather uncomfortable.
"I could have Ginny do it," Dumbledore mused aloud. "She's the only girl that knows about the situation. I'll have Fawkes tow her over here. Harry and Ron would like to visit, too. Just let me know when it would be convenient."
"I think girls like daily showers, don't they?" surmised Remus. "So probably every day, or almost that, depending on how much time she can take out of her studies. Harry and Ron can come anytime they like." He turned to Hermione. "Let's see what you have to say, Hermione." He retrieved a memory and immersed himself in it.
He was standing in an empty girls' bathroom. Harry was looking into a cracked mirror, putting on his glasses. Ron was hammering on a stall door. 'Even Sirius didn't hang out in girls' bathrooms,' Remus thought, bewildered.
"Hermione, come out, we've got loads to tell you —"
"Go away!" Hermione squeaked from inside the stall.
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"What's the matter?" said Ron. "You must be back to normal by now, we don't look like Crabbe and Goyle —"
But Moaning Mytle glided suddenly through the stall door, a grin on her face.
"Ooooooh, wait till you see," she said. "It's awful —"
The lock slid back and Hermione emerged, sobbing, her robes pulled up over her head.
"What's up?" said Ron confusedly. "Have you still got Millicent's nose or something?"
Hermione let her robes fall. She was covered in black fur. He could see her eyes were yellow from where he stood, and she had pointed ears poking through her hair.
"It was c-cat hair!" she howled. "M-Millicent Bulstrode m-must have a cat! And the p-potion isn't supposed to be used for animal transformations —"
"Uh-oh," said Ron.
"— I don't want anyone to see me like this."
'I never knew they took the Polyjuice potion,' Remus thought as the memory faded away. He stood, looking at Hermione. "I can't make heads or tails of what you mean by that, Hermione," he said in puzzlement. The inferred meaning was that she didn't want visitors, but he felt sure she didn't mean that.
"I can perform a bit of Legilimens, if you wish, Hermione," offered Dumbledore.
Hermione winked her right eye. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.
"It means yes. If she winks her left eye, it means no," explained Remus.
"Clever," said Dumbledore. "Very well, Hermione." It only took a second to find out what was wrong. "It is apparent she doesn't want visitors."
"Why?" asked Remus, shifting his gaze repeatedly between Dumbledore and Hermione.
Dumbledore sighed. "Just like in the memory she sent you, she doesn't want anyone to see her in her current condition. She hates it. And seeing them would remind her of her old life, when she – had her full abilities."
"I see," said Remus softly. He turned to Hermione. "Can you at least let Ginny come? I really would prefer that she takes care of showering you and the like."
Hermione's eyes looked conflicted. On one hand, Remus had a point. On the other, she hated the thought of Ginny seeing her in this state.
"Please, Hermione," said Remus. "I know it's difficult for you, but can you do me that favor?"
Hermione recalled his sentence to Azkaban, and her eyes softened. He was the one doing her all the difficult favors and sacrifices; she surely must give him this one. She slowly winked her right eye.
"What about Harry and Ron?" asked Remus.
She hesitated a moment, before winking her left eye, her expression pained.
"Are you sure?" said Remus, surprised.
She winked her right eye, and didn't meet his gaze.
"All right. Send Ginny over here any time, it's not like we're going anywhere," said Remus, smiling at Dumbledore.
"Will do," agreed Dumbledore. "Now I should be going, before somebody misses me." He grabbed Fawkes's tail feathers. 'I better ask Snape to make Wolfsbane Potion,' Dumbledore thought. "Goodbye," he said, and vanished.
"Well," sighed Remus. "Why don't we start on your school books? Would you like me to read them to you, or you read them yourself? You'd probably like to read them yourself, yes?" asked Remus. When she indicated that yes, she would like to read them herself, he sat her up and enchanted her Charms book so that it turned the page every five minutes. He left and began eating his previously abandoned breakfast, wondering what would be in store for them in the near future.
Dumbledore landed in his office and nonchalantly walked down the stairs. He would round up Ginny, Harry, and Ron at lunch so they could have a talk about Hermione. He decided to be up front with what had happened, since truth was always preferable to lies.
Lunchtime arrived soon enough. Harry, Ron, and Ginny stood in front of Dumbledore's desk, eagerly awaiting the news.
"I have seen Remus and Hermione," Dumbledore started slowly. "Fawkes was kind enough to tow me there, for there is no other known way to get there. I must warn you, the news isn't altogether pleasant."
"Did she respond to our letters?" asked Harry.
"Not yet, I didn't give her enough time. She misses you all very much. However, when asked if she wanted you three to visit, well... she didn't want you to come."
"WHY NOT?" bellowed Ron, outraged. "We're dying to see her!"
"She shares that sentiment, Mister Weasley, however, bear in mind that this isn't the same Hermione that existed before she received the killing curse. She doesn't wish anyone to see her in her current state. However, she has consented to Ginny coming, if Ginny is willing to volunteer to help her with showering and such. Remus is rightfully uncomfortable to help her with such duties."
"I'll do it," consented Ginny. "Sorry," she added, noting Harry and Ron's crestfallen looks.
"What is she afraid of? She knows we wouldn't be so low as to make fun of her. We're her best friends, why can't we see her?" demanded Harry in deep frustration.
"Your frustration is understandable, Harry," replied Dumbledore. "At present, I believe it is best to yield to her wishes. I'm sorry. Now, I'll send Ginny over there, and then you all can go back to lunch."
Ginny grabbed Fawkes's tail feathers and disappeared immediately. Harry felt himself well up with confusion and hurt. Remus, Dumbledore, and Ginny got to see her. Why not himself – her best friend?
Ginny landed gracefully at the top of the stairs in Grimmauld Place. She felt quite nervous. She didn't want to end up upsetting Hermione. 'This is going to be uncomfortable,' she thought. 'Well, I'm not going to get anything done just standing here.' She marched into Hermione's room. She saw her sitting up in bed, reading. For a moment, it was almost like they were back at Hogwarts. Often Ginny would see Hermione reading in this way. Then she noticed how very still Hermione sat. The only things that moved were her eyes. "Hello Hermione," she said. "I'm here to help you."
Hermione merely looked her way and winked her right eye. Ginny froze a moment, puzzled, but decided to get down to business. "I'm going to give you a shower. I'll levitate you into the bathroom." She took the book off Hermione's lap and took her to the bathroom. "You know, I'm really glad to see you, Hermione, after what happened. I've really missed you over these past few days. Harry and Ron have been going crazy! Harry literally. Did he tell you about how Voldemort possessed him again? Don't worry about it, though, Dumbledore has it under control." She continued talking about this and that, not ever expecting any sort of answer. Hermione gradually got over her shame, but resentment still brewed under the surface. How she despised being little Miss Disabled, who couldn't do anything herself.
Ginny stood straight up, when something on the floor caught her eye. Little pieces of sponge were weakly scrubbing the floor. "That explains why it's so shiny in here," she thought, amused. One by one, she picked up the pieces and got them to stop scrubbing. After throwing the destroyed sponge in the wastebasket, she returned Hermione to her room, for her shower was done.
Ginny glimpsed Harry and Ron's letters on the table. "Have you read Harry and Ron's letters yet?"
Hermione winked her left eye.
"That means no, right?" After Ginny saw her wink the other eye, she decided she must be right. "Here, I can read them to you." She picked up Harry's and began:
"Dear Hermione, I've really been missing you! I'm so ecstatic to hear that you're alive! Nobody told me that you were, and the Daily Prophet made out that you were dead. I can't wait to see you! Ron and I could sure use your help on all our homework; it's massive this year. I'm sure you'll get better soon, Hermione. We need you here!" Ginny paused a second, frowning. It had appeared that Harry had written something (she could swear that it was "Voldemort") and then crossed it out. "Your friend, Harry. P.S. Dumbledore just told us he isn't sure that there's a way to get to Grimmauld Place. I hope he works something out soon, I need to see you." Ginny picked the other letter off of the table. "Okay, Hermione, this is Ron's letter: Hi Hermione! I can't tell you how excited I am that you're alive! We've both been really depressed until we heard that, we thought you were dead. Especially Harry. You should have seen him the other day when Voldemort possessed him in Divination class. It was an experience I won't forget in a hurry —"
Hermione's eyes widened in horror. Harry was being possessed by Voldemort again. Was it because of her? 'I feel like such a failure,' Hermione thought, her heart sinking. 'I'm not there to help him.' She felt a surge of frustration. 'I'm not any help to anyone anymore.'
"— Anyway, Dumbledore's been taking care of that. I sure could use your help in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Snape is torture! When we have theory tests he uses any excuse to flunk me. Get better soon, Hermione! It's tough trying to help Harry without you around. I hope we can visit you. Your friend, Ron."
Ginny ended the visit on friendly terms, and Fawkes flew her back to Dumbledore's office. Harry and Ron asked her how it went, and Ginny gave them the proper details.
Hermione settled deep into her book, lost in another world. In that world, she was herself again. She was Hermione Granger, model student, active supporter of Harry Potter. She flew to the place where she could walk, talk, practice spells, and do things for herself. In that world, she wasn't trapped; she was free, free as a Phoenix. She read all afternoon, appreciating the hobby now more than ever. It helped her to forget her current situation, and Remus's inevitable capture, which weighed on her mind more and more as time passed. She closed her eyes. It was now dinnertime. She wanted more than ever to keep reading, but her eyes were exhausted. Remus would have to read to her, if she wanted any more.
Soon enough, Remus showed up in her room, carrying dinner. After a brief meal, he asked her what she would like to do now. Through the Pensieve, he saw her father reading to her as a child. Understanding what she meant, he decided to take her to the living room couch for a change of scenery while he read to her.
He sat her up next to him, laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped his arm around her to keep her from falling. Then he began to read out loud, while Hermione closed her eyes and listened. Remus was tired himself. Without the Wolfsbane potion, he felt a bit ill. Determinedly he tried to stay awake, but lost the fight in mid-sentence. His eyes closed and his head rolled on top of Hermione's. Hermione had no way of waking him back up. Soon enough, she too, fell asleep.
Replies to Reviewers:
MoonyNZ: You guessed right. Thank you for reviewing!
Radingsouls4u: LOL! Yes, the winking does seem funny in writing. Thanks for reviewing so much, I really appreciate that!
Morena-Forever: Yes, I love the sweet, always-there-for-you relationship stories. I know, I'm such a sap! You wouldn't know that if you met me in real life, though, LOL. Thanks for reviewing!
FirePony's Chick: Hello, great to hear from you! Thanks!
LupinLover99: Thanks for reviewing. :) Updates are always great!
Silver Ash: Well, to be honest, after chapter four, all good grammar and spelling credit goes to Le Grimoire, my beta reader. :) She's fantastic, I'm beginning to wonder how I ever managed to write my stories without her. Yes, descriptions are things I need to work on. I'm glad you think I'm good at capturing the characters, that's important to me! You know, that's funny, I had the same thought about Remus's past! It might come in a later chapter, which I haven't written yet. (After chapter fifteen) In each one I write, I like to stress a different angle, so I might do more of that in a future Remus/Hermione fanfiction. Yeah, I was just letting people know why I wasn't updating twice a day like I did with my previous two. Thanks for being patient. :)
Dancing in Rain: Yeah, fanfictionNet can be a pain sometimes. Thank you so much for reviewing, it's always appreciated!
Preview of next chapter: Michael Judge blinked drowsily in his Azkaban cell. Anytime now, he was sure of it. Anytime now, Voldemort would come and set him free. Free to continue carrying out Voldemort's devices. After all, he was now Voldemort's most loyal Death Eater. He would not abandon him.