Rating: G for now

Disclaimer: I don't own them, J.K.Rowling does, lucky person.

Summary: Draco is thinking about Harry, and why he became his enemy.

Author's Note: Everyone has a first fic they've posted, this is mine. Reviews are welcome, 'cos I have a couple of ideas that I could turn into another chapter. If people like this one and want more, let me know and I will write out my ideas. Also, any suggestions are welcome for any possible future chapters.

If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today,

If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way

If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call,

If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all.

Never know what the future brings, but I know you're here with me now,

We'll make it through, and I hope you are the one I share my life with.

I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand,

If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I could stay, in your life?

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed,

If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head,

If you're not for me, then why does this distance maim my life,

If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you, at night?

I don't want to run away, but I can't take it, I don't understand,

If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I could stay, in your life?

'Cos I miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away,

And I breathe you, into my heart, and pray for the strength to stand today

'Cos I love you, whether it's wrong or right

And though I can't be with you tonight, know my heart is by your side.

-Daniel Beddingfield, If You're Not The One

I wonder if you have ever realised why exactly I made the decision to become your most persistent and ever present enemy. I wonder if you ever realised precisely what happened that day six years ago when you refused to take my hand in friendship. Oh, of course, everyone thinks they know that. The most famous boy in our world rejected one of the richest, most spoiled and stuck-up boys in the magical world. Naturally said spoiled boy proceeded to see it as a personal insult, and therefore declare war on said wonder boy. A natural hatred bred from heritage and actions by both.

If only it was that simple. People have no idea that my reasons are so much more complicated than that.

It would come as a surprise to everyone to know that I have never actually hated you. Words I'm sure you never thought you would hear from me. I, Draco Lucien Malfoy, do not, nor have ever, hated you, Harry James Potter. (Yes, I do know your middle name. Bet you never thought I cared enough to find out that bit of information.) It was never hatred that prompted me to consistently pick fights with you for the last six years. It's amazing that no one ever stopped to wonder why, if I hated you so much, I seemed to go out of my way to have confrontations with you so regularly. Amazing you never wondered why either. I guess you thought the same thing as everyone else, that I was simply trying to make your life as miserable as possible. If only that were the truth, MY life would be so much easier.

I suppose I should really get to the point, and explain what the hell I'm going on about. The truth is, I've made myself such a huge presence in your life because I couldn't bear to not see you, to not be around you as much as I can. The day I met you my whole life changed.

When you walked into Madame Malkin's, a scruffy, underfed boy with clothes several times too big, and glasses that had sticky tape holding them together, everything changed for me. I immediately felt your presence in some obscure way, and the second our eyes met, my heart lurched. It was like a puzzle where one vital piece was missing, a piece without which the picture made no sense, and suddenly that piece had been found. Suddenly the picture made perfect sense, and I realised the piece missing from my life was you. Sounds insane really, doesn't it. Five seconds after meeting, and I was suddenly positive you were meant to be in my life, in my heart. But insane as it may sound, it was the truth. With all my heart I knew you were the person I was supposed to love.

I know what a lot of people would say, I was only eleven, how the hell could I possibly know that. A lot of people would even argue that at eleven I couldn't possibly know what real love was, but I did, at that moment our eyes met, I knew exactly what love meant, and love for me meant you.

The thought of never seeing you again made my heart freeze. I instinctively knew that if I never saw you again, I would never again feel the love that filled my heart. That was why I was so desperately upset when I discovered just who you were. I knew my father would never approve of me caring for you. You were the boy who destroyed his lord's powers, you were the natural enemy of Voldemort (yes, I can say his name without flinching, he's never been MY lord), who my father was sure would one day rise again to rule over the magical world, and naturally kill the boy who stripped him of his powers all those years ago. If my father ever discovered how I felt for you, not only would he consider me weak, but he would probably try to use me to get to you.

But despite what my father would think or do, I could not bear the thought of not having you in my life. I needed you, my heart called out for you so loud I was surprised you didn't hear it every time you got close to me.

My heart leapt the day I saw you on the Hogwarts Express. It had felt cold, lifeless since the day we had met, the only thing keeping me going the fact my father had told me you were to attend Hogwarts that year as well. That day on the train, I could see there was now a light in your eyes, they were no longer dull and defeated as they had seemed the day we met, they now held a fire to them, one that made them blaze a magnificent emerald that took my breathe away.

So that's what really prompted me to offer you my hand in friendship that day, not any of the evil plots that various people have speculated. My offer came from the total certainty in my heart that I needed you in my life. As everyone knows, that backfired very badly, with you rejecting me, and quite obviously putting me in a category the polar opposite of friend.

My heart screamed out at that one, and I distinctly felt it crack. I felt broken, and for a short while had no idea what I would do. The idea of not being able to be close to you, to let you see how I felt about you, gnawed at me, creating a hole in me. That night I lay awake, unable to sleep for the lead weight of my heart. I simply couldn't imagine trying to live without you in my life. There had to be some way to stay in your life, to keep you near me. Just being close to you in some way would help the pain I felt. It was like my heart had decided, and I didn't have a choice. It seemed like fate, this was what was meant for me, this was who my heart was meant to belong to.

Eventually it was thinking of my father that gave me the idea of how to stay in your life. He hated you for what you had done to Voldemort. If I pretended I hated you, and became your enemy, it would be easy for me to invent ways to be around you, and as a bonus, no one would realise why it was I so desperately needed to be around you. The thought of you looking at me with disgust in your eyes if you discovered how I felt chilled me. But I'd already seen how your eyes flashed such a brilliant emerald when you were angry, and the thought of being able to see that on a regular basis excited me. You have such amazingly gorgeous eyes, I dreamed of being allowed to stare at them for hours, to see the flickers of emotions that passed through them constantly.

My plan worked even better than I had thought. You didn't seem to question my sudden immense hatred of you, and always rose to the challenge. You were so strong, no matter what I threw at you, that not only did you take it with such grace, you usually managed to best me. I have to confess, I took a lot of pleasure from our sparring matches, and came to eagerly anticipate them. It gave me the perfect opportunity to look at you, and over the years I covertly watched you grow, watched you become more muscled, more confident in your stance, though always maintaining that slightest hint of defeat to you that I'm sure only I ever noticed. I don't think those two best friends of yours have ever seen it, they haven't studied you as closely as I have all these years.

Even though it's been six years since we met, five years since you rejected me, I still love you, in fact I probably love you more now. Watching you over the years, learning you, seeing your strength help you triumph time and again over things very few people could survive, my love for you has grown. Every time you best me in one of our frequent arguments, my heart swells slightly with pride. Every time you emerge victorious from yet another deadly situation, my heart bursts with love and pride. Every time I see the bright emerald flash of your eyes, my heart constricts.

I love you so much more completely than I did when we met, for then it was my heart that had made a choice. Now I love you with all of my being, with no reservation. I couldn't imagine not loving you, and frankly, I don't want to. I am happy loving you, for you are the most amazing person I have ever, or could ever, meet. People do not realise just how privileged they are by simply knowing you, have no concept of just how special you are. And I don't think you realise it either. For too long you were neglected (yes, I do know what your home life is like, you would probably be very shocked at how much I know about you), and when you entered our world, all people saw was your scar, the legend. Too many people forget to look beyond your scar, and therefore miss how amazing you are all by yourself. But I see it. I loved you before I knew who you were, and you being The-Boy-Who-Lived has never influenced how I see you. To me, that is merely a small part of who you are. You would be just as special to me if you didn't have that scar.

Oh Harry, if only you knew. If only I could tell you, but I fear you would never be able to accept my love. But maybe, just maybe, you might be able to accept my friendship.

So many things have changed now. You have permanently killed Voldemort, freeing the world forever from the fear of him. All of his Death Eaters, including my father, have either been sent to prison for life, or received the Dementors Kiss. So many people in our generation are suddenly free of the influence and pressure of our parents, finally allowed to express our own views without fear of punishment, and many are surprised at how many of us are now voicing opinions on a polar opposite of those of our parents. An immense weight has been lifted from the whole wizarding world, and everywhere the effects are noticeable. It's like all these years there was a cloud over everything, and finally the sun is shining full force, like spring after a hard winter, full of hope and renewal and new beginnings.

So now, as we prepare to enter our seventh and final year at Hogwarts, hope fills my heart once more. Hope that you might allow a new beginning between us, a chance for me to be close to you without the insults and false hatred, and just maybe, a chance to show you how I feel, and perhaps even allow me to convince you to love me back.

Well......what did ya think? Good, or should I just stick to writing my uni assignments?