Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anyone else that appears in this story. Seriously, I know it's hard to believe, but I don't.

Okay – this is basically a companion guide story to A Barbeque Too Far, clearing up things that didn't seem to make sense. It was my first story, and I'm sure I've confused many of my happy readers because although it is supposed to be random and not make too much sense, judging by the number of questions that appear in my reviews, there are a lot of things that need explaining. Enjoy – and tell me what you think!

A Mystical Prologue

Al was sitting on a bench in the park waiting for Edward. "I wonder where brother is… he said he was just going to Dante's house to borrow Wrath's crayons, but that was days ago."

Just then, a giant laser-jet printer fell from the sky.

"DIE SMALL EARTH BOY!" it said in one of those robot voices.

"Never – I've dealt with your type before!" Al pulled out some bubble gum and started chewing.

"MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH! You will soon meet your demise! Very very soon!" With this, the killer printer sprouted wheels and very slowly started squeaking towards Al.

"Hang on a sec – I'll just be a minute…" he said, chewing rapidly.

"What?" said the printer of eternal misfortune. "Does not compute! Why would I 'hang on a sec' if you're going to take a minute? SELF DESTRUCT! SELF DESTRUCT!"

Al was confused… it was almost too easy…

MEANWHILE… AT DANTE'S HOUSE

"Wrath! You can't just keep me locked in the basement forever!" yelled Edward.

"Yes I can!" shouted Wrath. "I have the Magical Death Device – or Magivice, as I like to call it! Isn't that right Magivice?"

"UH, YES IT IS." Appeared on the device.

"Wrath! That's not a Magical Death Device!" Edward insisted.

Wrath started jumping around the room for joy as he was so honoured that the mystical Magivice had chosen him to do its bidding. "Of course it is!" he said. "Look – I can even change the wallpaper! BEHOLD!" Wrath changed the on-screen wallpaper from ponies to a chibi picture of himself and showed Edward.

"WRATH! That's just a cell phone!"

"Don't be fooled you foolish boy!" said Wrath, disregarding the fact that he was even younger and (I know it doesn't sound possible) shorter.

"Seriously Wrath, I bet Envy, Greed, Pride and Lust are all sitting in the next room, laughing their heads off and sending you SMS's on that damn phone just to get you to do what they want!" Edward screamed.

"Damn he's good!" could be heard coming faintly from the next room.

"No… the Magivice would never steer me wrong!" said Wrath.

"DATZ RITE!" Showed up on the Magivice.

Suddenly the Magivice started ringing. "Ah! It's screaming!" cried Wrath. "Are you in pain, Magivice?"

Dante burst through the door. "Give me that!" she yelled, snatching it away. "Hello, Dante's Pizza Shop!"

"NOOOOOOO!" yelled Wrath. "You're hurting it!"

AND NOW TO ROY!

Colonel Mustang was sneaking around very suspiciously. "Hey Roy!" said one of the neighbours.

"SSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he, well, whispered - loudly.

He was looking for something – something important…(oh, forget about suspense! He was trying to steal Ed's barbeque equipment) "It must be around here somewhere…"

He tried looking under rocks, behind trees, and in the washing machine but it was nowhere to be found. "Damn…" he clicked in annoyance and accidentally burnt down the living room.

"Is this what you're looking for?" asked a mysterious voice.

"…No, I'm looking for the barbeque equipment – that's a photo of Edward and Envy in the talent quest," said Roy.

"Crap!" said the figure in shadows, which stepped into the light to reveal itself.

Roy was stunned, "Egad!" he said. It was a giant horned weasel. "A giant horned weasel!"

"A giant imported horned weasel, actually," it said, chuckling to itself.

"What do you want?" asked Roy, his fingers in position if clicking proved necessary.

"It's no use!" laughed the imported horned weasel. "I am resistant to fire! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA – " The manic laughter was interrupted as Roy threw some big metal thing at it.

"No…my spleen!" it cried, before collapsing.

Roy wiped his forehead. "I'm glad that's all over wi-"

"Ahhh – oh, the pain!" moaned the weasel, before collapsing once more.

"As I was saying," said Roy, "I'm glad that's over wi-"

"Ughhhhh!"

Roy was starting to get annoyed, so he put on earmuffs. "And now to resume my quest for Ed's barbeque equipment…BUT WHERE ON EARTH COULD IT- oh, there it is." As I'm sure you already knew, the metal thing he had thrown at the giant imported horned weasel was indeed the barbeque equipment.

"Hmmmm," he thought to himself, "I wonder what a giant imported horned weasel was doing here, and more importantly, why hasn't anyone caught me st- …borrowing the barbeque equipment yet? Oh well, I'm sure Al hasn't been confronted by some rabid electrical appliance, and I know Ed couldn't be being held captive at some weirdo's house…"

MEANWHILE, AT SOME WEIRDO'S HOUSE

Wrath was very sad that the others had betrayed him. They wouldn't have really cared, but his crying was very loud and their only pair of earmuffs had disappeared…

"Aw, c'mon Wrath," said Greed. "Stop crying – I'll buy you a lolly pop?"

"What do you think I am? Some sort of stupid kid? I'll never stop crying – NEVER!"

"How about LEGGO?" said Envy, with the all-too-familiar smirk.

"Damn he's good…" Wrath mumbled. "Alright, alright."

"Uh, guys?" Edward had been forgotten.

"Oh yeah, you…" said Envy.

"You can go," said Lust. "We've got somewhere to go anyway."

"OHHHHHH! Can I come, PLEASE?" Edward begged.

They were all rather perplexed. "Why exactly do you want to come?" asked Pride.

"Well, Al stole my pencil case, so I'm mad at him, and besides – I want to go out somewhere to get tanned for Roy's barbeque on Sunday! I still don't know what he's going to do though, since he ran over his barbeque equipment when he was backing out of his driveway…"

"Hey – that's what we were going to do!" said Sloth.

"Yeah – we're off to the beach to get tanned for the barbeque too," said Lust.

"The beeech!" said Gluttony.

"So we're all going then?" asked Greed.

"ENVY!"

"Kusooo…" Envy grumbled.

Dante burst through the door. "Envy – how many times do I have to tell you to put your dirty clothes IN the basket? The next time you just leave them lying around you can wash them yourself mister!"

"But Dante…" he whined.

"NO BUTS! And put on your uniform – I need you to deliver this pizza," She ordered, handing him the pizza and the address before making her departure and slamming the door behind her.

"What did Envy say before?" Wrath asked Sloth.

"I don't know – he always starts speaking in Japanese when he gets really mad."

"OH NO!" Envy exclaimed.

"What is it?" Edward asked him.

"The address… this is… YOU GUYS ARE COMING WITH ME!" said Envy.

"Before we go to the beach?" asked Greed, "Can't you go by yourself?"

"You don't understand…" said Envy, "this is Hughes' house!"

HoOraYY! First alternate story done! PLEASE REVIEW! Seriously, is this okay? Should I keep going or just shove it into A Barbeque too far? Thanks for reading it!

Please review, and if you got confused in A Barbeque Too Far, don't hesitate to ask me about it and I'll try to put an explanation into this alternate/explanation/answering unanswered questions story! Thank you!