Spoilers: Charisma

Kathy POV

God, dishes everywhere. This housewife crap is so overrated. Okay, I'll just move them to the sink and then make the twins earn their keep. Oh, hello beautiful…again with the kissing on the neck….

"So…Jason?"

"I don't hate him. Loathe….oh yeah, loathe is definitely the word."

"Because he is possibly in love with your daughter?" Get right to it there. But he is thinking about it.

"I think so. And that really scares me. I know what love can do to your judgment…thought processes…controls. Leads to some mistakes, regrets sometimes."

You mean us don't you? You mean to say that love makes you regret being with me. And that Maureen could be a mistake? Wow, that really hurts…It must be all over my face…but I can't hide it.

"Oh, Kath. I didn't meant it like that."

"Oh you meant…that you get caught up real fast and then, "stuff" happens, and in that time your life can change." Oh, how I hate to be right. I need air….now. Oh, and the dishes done.

"LIZZIE! DICKIE! Down here now….you've got dishes to do!"

Just pull it together. Don't let them see your tears. Oh, Elliot. Saying your sorry, kiss and make up…it's not gonna be that easy. It feels like I've been kicked in the chest with steel toed boots. Oh…did they get lost…."I MEANT NOW YOU TWO!…Oh, El…please. That was really….painful. Just…."

I can see the sorry in his eyes. God, and so much else I can see there. So much I'm still in love with. Oh why can't I just hate him?

"Kath, please. Now who's shutting who out?"

Am I shutting you out? What's one night compared to being out for the better part of a decade? Oh…thank God…twins to the rescue.

"Alright. Make sure you get the them clean. Then off to bed. Get me?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Smart kids, always know to push it. I wanna watch them, maybe so I don't have to face those eyes. Maybe…yeah. Outside. Okay…it's cold out but that should make for a shorter conversation. This swing. We've sat out here, cuddling too many times to count. Like a little vacation. And remotely comfortable to sit here, now. God, just look at the stars. Beautiful. Really clear night…especially for New York. Wish I would have brought a jacket….or a blanket? Too sweet…

"Elliot…I just need…"

"A husband that's not a total ass. I really didn't mean it like that. You and the kids are the best thing to ever happened to me. I don't regret the first time. Never have. Kathy, you were my first and my only. And when I said forever, I meant it."

This is why I can't stay mad, he knows how to say he's sorry. And I know he means it. I just can't stay mad.

"No…I should be sorry. I'm just, I don't know…"

You know, his arms are the only place I feel safe sometimes. Oh, why am I crying?

"You're the one who needs someone to listen, not me. sniffle But I guess I always make it about me huh?"

Well, that's fine. Just cry more….way to stay strong.