What's going on with me!

She tugged at the blankets, at her hair, anything to keep her mind from coming back to that subject, not subject, that, that man.

Why does he keep popping up into my memory?

Her eyes frantically searched the room, landing upon each object; pillow, chair, desk, quill; until finally they halted on what they were looking for. Wengo was watching her with dubious eyes. He looked hesitant to approach her with inquiries, but was nudged to do so as she began to pull at the bed sheets once more, except this time, she began to scream silently to herself. Padme's emotions were dangerously slaughtering opposing ones, and she didn't know how to handle this certain situation. Wengo walked over to her, grabbed her arms, freeing the grasping fingers from the blankets which seemed ready to give way and rip.

"Padme what's going on?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" she bursted out. She didn't know how to respond. Again she attempted to grab the sheets but Wengo's hand restricted her from continuing any further.

"I…I don't know, Wengo. My mind keeps popping up on…on."

"…Anakin." He finished for her.

Padme looked him in the eyes. Hers, she knew, reflected uneasiness, frustration, all the feelings of compressing a likeness for someone, a denial for one's true feelings. His showed how unhappy he was, how that once more, he screwed things up, that he was going to lose a second person he had claimed he loved.

I give up, he thought.

Padme breathed in, "No. No I don't like him, I hate him. I hate him. Yes, and I love you, Wengo Eetlai." Those words sounded counterfeit to both of them. Padme realized she had just said this to ensure her the things she felt she was most worthy of. Maybe, she thought, if I keep saying these things, they'll come true.

"I love you too Padme." His confession was very plausible, on the other hand.

"Maybe we should get ready for the day ahead?" She just needed something to do to keep her mind off him.

"Yeah, sounds good." Padme got up to leave to get her belonging from her room.

She was relaxing a little. She'd think things over again in her mind when she could stand it…

As she left through the sliding door, Wengo bent down to retrieve a boot that had crawled its way under the bed and away from his prying reach. The boot grazed his fingertips. Aggravation and irritation led him to receiving a scratch along his arm. Wengo closed his eyes and concentrated, and he pulled into the force. He opened his eyes expecting to find a boot, but rather he found a book. A hologram journal more like it. He didn't act like he wasn't surprised, he was of course, and even more so when he saw the name Padme scribbled at the bottom.

"Hmm, I wonder what this is." He found himself speculating as curiosity enveloped him. He glanced around his shoulder to make sure that he was alone, and with that he opened the hologram and it began playing.

It showed a close up view of Padme's profile. It was dark, but it was evident that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and tear stained. He looked at her surroundings, and it revealed to him that this certain hologram had been taken in this very room. It was probably when he was out with his Master, training. She was probably waiting for him or something related to that notion.

Hologram Padme breathed in and exhaled deeply. The message began to play.

I don't know what's going on with me. Ever since Anakin told me that he no longer had feelings for me, that he no longer cared about me or my thoughts or my actions, I just, I just feel so hurt and rejected. And Guil, I can't stop the feeling building up inside of me every time I hear that name escape from his lips, all this anger, this jealousy.

I catch myself…(she was choking up now, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, shining like drops of silver)…I catch myself thinking of being with, of kissing him. And what's worse is that I feel I've lost all my feelings for Wengo. I love him, but now it's not with the passion I felt before. Now I feel just a sisterly love for him. He's so amazing but, but I yearn for Anakin more and more, especially now that he's gone with…with…Guil. Guil, how I hate that name…These feelings are building up inside of me, and I keep trying to compress them, I try to change the way they are, but I can't. I need to express them in some way, but I have no one to confide these things to. No one I feel will understand what I have to say. I don't know what to do, what to feel…I feel…numb.

It sad isn't it? That the only thing I can confide to is this stupid hologram book. I plan on burning you, no one can know what you hidden feeling you have stored within you. Imagine if Wengo found this (she began to laugh to herself). Maybe this isn't as stupid as I thought (her tears were gradually slowing) for I'm beginning to feel better. At least now I'm not holding as much of the burden.

And then the hologram ended. Wengo's mouth stood opened, his nerves tingling with …with shock. He knew that Padme had been acting up lately, that it had been because of Anakin, but he didn't know it was this deep. He thought maybe a little crush had skimmed to the surface, not that there was a deep pool in which she was swimming in. What was he going to do? Did he just give her up, or keep her and lure her back to him? He knew that Anakin didn't feel that way about her anymore…and that if she approached him about it, Anakin would just refuse her and make her feel even worse, and he didn't want Padme getting hurt. He had to acknowledge though that he was aware that his passion feelings for her were lessening as well. He was, well, missing Guil. Padme was wonderful, and he loved her like a sister, but he knew that Guil would not take him back and that Anakin would not take her back. SO what was he to do? He sat on the bed and lied down, closed his eyes, and meditated. There was a reason that the force had allowed him to find that hologram.

After a few moments, he blinked open and sat up, resolved on what he had considered. He was going to act as if he didn't know about these feelings. He was going to let her decide what she was going to do. It was her life, anyway. He held onto the pole of the four poster bed for support and pulled himself to his feet.

"Time to get ready..."

Padme stood in front of her mirror. She hadn't gotten dressed yet. She walked into her apartment and just stood in front of her mirror. She looked at her face. It looked tired. She looked at her eyes. She didn't even want to go there…

Anakin's coming home today, she thought. Maybe I'll know how to handle things once I see him.

She exhaled deeply and felt strangely comforted by the thought of him being near her once again. She picked up the comb and slowly brushed her thick, brown locks. She decided to go with a blue wardrobe today, to go along with her mood.

They were in Anakin's old room. He was sitting on the floor at her feet, and she was sitting on the bed. It was quite low to begin with so they were considerably at the same level, also adding that he was much taller then she. The room contained pieces of old projects he had never completed back before he was the padawan of Master Obi-Wan. There was a droid head here, wires there, nuts and bolts lying around all over the floor. To a stranger's eye, it looked more like a junkshop rather than a bedroom, but to Anakin, it was home. It was his room, filled with what comforted him most. He needed it most right now. He glanced up to see Guil studying what she saw. She was the stranger who saw his room as the junkyard…

His tears had ceased flowing. He held his composure now and felt that the worst was over. Nothing could be worse then this, so whatever Guil was going to tell him, he could handle it. He picked up a bolt and threw it into a dish on the other side. It made a clang as it fell in. This brought Guil back to her task. She remembered that she had to fess everything up…

"Anakin…" He looked up at her

"I'm a Sith." As she said this her eyes, usually dark brown, turned a bright orange and red, the color of fire, which made her, eerily, more beautiful then she ever was.

Anakin literally jumped up from the floor and instinctively put his hand on his lightsaber. Guil knew this was going to happen, so she needed to explain fast before Anakin attacked her.

"You're a Sith?" The blue of his lightsaber flashed within the room, the recognizable buzz reverberating in their ears.

"Yes, Anakin," she said in the same calm, beautiful voice, yet now, there was a brief hint of maliciousness, "but may I explain first?"

Anakin was in no hurry. He knew Guil was a good person, so he decided to hear her out before he did anything to protect the Jedi Order, and quite frankly, he didn't feel like killing anybody anytime soon.

"After the death of my family," she winced as she said this, "Emperor Palpatine, also known as Darth Sidious-"

Anakin was once again shocked. Emperor Palpatine? He's a friend. Not a Sith…

While Anakin was debating with himself Guil continued steadily, "Emperor Palpatine approached me. At the time I was so hurt and angry and so determined to end death forever, that I was likely to believe anything I heard, but now that I reflect upon it, I am certain I made the smart and the accurate choice. Darth Sidious told me a story about a Sith Master and his Padawan, and how they began the strongest people to ever graze this galaxy. The master could do anything, he could even end death. He taught his padawan, all he knew, and as the final test, his Padawan killed him. The padawan is Darth Sidious, Anakin."

She waited for a respond but instead of a verbal one, she watched as Anakin shut off his lightsaber, but he still held on to it firmly.

"As I said, he approached me and told me that I could learn all these things, that I could become his Padawan, and that I could learn to stop death. I was dating Wengo at the time, and it was also about the time that he asked me to marry him. I said no, Anakin, because Darth Sidious didn't approve of it. I needed him to tell me how to end death, so I did what I was told and refused Wengo's love, though I've always continually loved him." Guil's strong and confident composure broke as she said this… Anakin felt pity for her. He knew that she always had feelings for Wengo. "That's the real reason I said no to Wengo."

Anakin nodded in understanding…

"Darth Sidious needs you, Anakin. He said that I'm not strong enough for this task," she said the last part bitterly, "And that he needs you to be with us as well. Think about it Ani, we could end death! We could finally learn how to save the people we love!" she was standing up now looking him square in the face.

"Finally our dreams can come true! We don't have to fear him, and then when we become strong enough, together we can overthrow Sidious, and, and be with the ones we love, and things the way we want them to be!" She grabbed Anakin by the soldiers. She looked so desperate, the fire still in her eyes. He put his lightsaber away and turned away from her to face the wall. Anakin linked his arms and began to think about what he had just heard.

"Anakin please, I want this so badly and you must too, think about your mother. Do this for her." The mention of his mother got his attention.

She's right, he thought. I want this just as badly as she does, but betrayal of the Jedi Order? I'd have to leave the people I love.

"I know what you're thinking Anakin. That's the first thing I thought about, as well. Friendship is a small price to pay, but soon after we overthrow Sidious they will see that we are the good ones, that we're doing this to save people, not to kill."

Anakin was still a bit skeptical but he could feel the willpower growing in him again. I can save people from dying. I can be powerful. I've always wanted power.

He turned to look at her. She was practically on her knees begging. He smiled at her.

"Okay. Let's do this."

Guil was so happy at that particular moment, that she didn't realize that she was on her toes kissing him with as much passion as she could, so that he knew how grateful she was.

"Anakin we'll be the more powerful than any Sith or Jedi." She said as she pulled away from him and now was just hugging him tight.

"Guil, what will we be called?" he said suddenly curious about what him famous name will be.

"I'm Darth Shonah and you're name is Darth-" He was looking at her eagerly now. "Darth Vader," and at the sound of his name, his eyes became emblazoned with the colors of searing, hot fire.

There was tingling in his body, a feeling as if you just walked through into a different dimension. A sort of veil blocked his eyes and he could feel the force stronger than he had ever felt it before. He felt strong, he felt dangerous, he felt passion. He knew now that he was no longer Anakin Skywalker, but Darth Vader. He was reborn.

He heard a tinkling laugh. "Feels good doesn't it?"

Author: I had to add this chapter. I wrote the last chapter in haste and I'm really not happy with the way it turned out, but I'm not going to change it. I was exhausted when I wrote it and I wrote it just so that there was another chapter i could postup, not because of the pure joy of writing. So I took a nap, felt rejuvenated, and awoke wanting to redeem myself. I then wrote ch. 9 and i feel much better. I hope that this chapter's a lot better then the last, because even if it isn't, it still felt really good to write this one. Sorry if chapter 8 isn't delivering...and i hope this one makes up for it.

Also, i'm a bit out of ideas. lol. I'm not really sure what i'm going to do next, i just know that the next chapter is going to be a funeral for Shmi and Anakin is going to talk to Emperor Palpatine. I know how I'm going to end this story too, but i don't know what to do in between that. So please, give me ideas. I dont care if you think they're stupid, i'm just having a bit of writer's block and i need an encouraging push. Thanks.