A/N: Sorry I haven't put up another chapter lately…but work and holiday…kinda got distracted….but here ya go…the continuing saga.

Oh…and since I haven't said it in like, forever, Dick Wolf owns the characters…but to HELL WITH HIM! LOL!

Kathy POV

Damn that alarm clock. I don't wanna leave this room, this moment, ever. I can't believe I ever considered leaving, even if it was just for a second. What the hell is wrong with me? For what…what would I leave for? All because he couldn't open up about the daily hell he endures? Well, he finally said something and boy, did he ever.

That thing…..I can't even imagine the pain that those mothers are in….having to go identify the body of their precious babies.

I'm just sorry I ever tried to push him…ironically enough, I think I was pushing so hard to get him to talk…I think I was the one pushing away, and he was just left to cling on for dear life.

Well, I hear the pitter patter of all the kids….getting ready for school…but I should make sure they don't need anything and then out of the door on time. I'll just throw something on really quick….oh, Elliot's shirt…that'll do….

God, smells like him. I love all his clothes. And especially love this shirt, definitely my favorite. I love the way it feels against my skin….and the best part, it's nothing special. Navy blue, NYPD in white letters on the sleeve, but it's his and that's all that matters.

Hmm….ah, running shorts….very nice. Good look…oh, speaking of look…my hair is just fantastic. Pony tail, that'll fix it. Damn it….I will have to thank him for that lovely hickey on my neck. I feel like I'm seventeen all over again…..maybe no one will notice….

I'll close the door, let him sleep. It's gonna be a long day. Check on the kids and I've got a phone call to make…and something to dispose of.

Well, bathroom door's locked. Means Kat's primping for….whoever. It does make me glad I've got my own bathroom to hog. I just hope she's okay after this whole mess with Nick….but, she'll have to be. But it does worry me. Makes my heart ache for her. But at least she's learning now that some men are just heartless….too bad she has to learn it so young.

Ah, there's my dynamic duo…bickering about something so small no doubt….

"Nuh uh! It's a nice name."

"No way…Lizzie is at least a name you can't make a joke out of"…..

Oh what is this… "Morning."

Look at that smile….just like her father…"Morning Mommy…..did we wake you up?"

"No…not at all….alarm clock you know. So, what's the discussion about now?"

"Dickie doesn't like his name."

He looks almost mad…. "That's not what I said…I just said I would like to be called RJ…at least no one can make fun of that. And my sister seems to think that means I don't like my name."

Elliot was right about that nickname alright. But I guess we can cave to this little desire for him. "I see your point…..and I think you can be called whatever you want. RJ. That'll take some getting used to…..but if that's what you want."

Lizzie seems defeated…but something … "Mommy….where's Kat? I mean, we're gonna be late…."

The child has a point…. "I'll go get her….and uh, try and not have any major wars while I get her alright…and for God's sake…RJ, no closets today….Love you guys…."

"Love you two Mom."

In unison…since birth. Twins….such a handful, but worth it. But back to Kathleen….so much like me….kinda scary, does things on her own time, that's for sure. Too bad she actually has a schedule….

"Kathleen? Are you about done…you're gonna be late.."

She flings the door open…wow, she looks….amazing, and very upset all at the same time… "Sorry…just, got a little…I don't know."

"You know….I'm sure if, uh, you're not feeling like going to school today….I could drive the twins…then sell it up to your father…."

"Nah. I'm cool….Dad and I kinda talked last night during one of his random patrols. I was all crying and stuff….he listened. Made me feel better. I don't even really want to cry anymore. I just….it's weird. Right now, I just wanna kick Nick's ass….that's all."

He talked to her about Nick…and didn't take off to kill him. Very sneaky. "Oh, well….so, I take it this outfit is declare you're a free woman?" You're father would have a stroke if he saw this one.

"You like it? I love these pants…they're so cute….maybe you should try and wear something like this Mom. You'd look good…."

"I don't think so…I think I would be arrested."

"For looking to damn fine! Come on Mom…I bet Dad would love it….he really loves you, you know. And I guess if you two gotta have some alone time every now and again…."

"Thanks for the permission. But you'd better get going….before you father gets up and sees that outfit."

"Okay…but all I'm saying is if you want to borrow something….go right ahead…but uh, I'd pick out a nice turtle neck to hide that hickey Mom."

"Alright…go. Now."

"Geez…..love you Mom…and tell Dad we said bye and that we love him too."

"Yeah….hurry, you know traffic around here."

Still makes me a little sad to watch them leave for school. Make me feel old, too. My babies aren't babies anymore. Oh well, guess it's all part of the game. I guess it's not that bad….but, now, business.

I'm glad I hid this where there was no way Elliot would find them. I don't think I could have handled explaining it to him. I can't believe I even typed it all up….petition for dissolution of marriage….that's just so weird…just sounds awful.

Ripping it up makes me feel better about it already. At least I'll never have to look at it ever again…I mean, I know now that whatever we have to face, we can face it together.

But now, time for something a little more creative….I just hope my friendship with my boss will help me out on this one…..

"Nurse's station, this is Brianne."

"Hey Bri….it's Kathy….Christine around?"

"Yeah…one sec babe. I, uh, hope you get to feeling better…you sound terrible."

She knows…she covered for me yesterday….

"Kathy…how are you?"

"Christine…I don't know what's wrong…I just don't feel well, and I just don't think I can make it in today." Please work…please God.

"Kath….don't worry about it. Tell ya what….I'll make sure your shifts get covered for…the next few days….take care of your husband and family, and yourself okay?"

"Thanks…I really appreciate it."

"Not a problem….later sweetie."

"Later."

That was lucky. Pays for the boss to like you. Well now that I've got time…back to bed would be nice.

God….why does he snore like that….hmm, now that I think about it, he only does that when he's exhausted. Sneak back in here….so warm…oh, reset that alarm…there we go…all better.

I know he doesn't really want to see this doctor, but I know he needs it. To make himself feel better, if nothing else. Sometimes I just wish he wasn't so damn macho. I've seen the more gentle side of him….a side I think "Detective Stabler" could use more of.

I just hope I can help that gentle side stay in tact…….