A/N: I just realized that today is the last day that I will have at a computer for OVER THREE WEEKS, so I shall do the frantic updating. Thank you. But, I didn't get the chappy finished in time, so I've been away QUITE A WHILE. Kit, YOU NEED TO STOP CHANGING YOUR PENNAME!

Masked Stranger-Different was my intent. And my thought process is scarily like Authoress 1's.

Silvermasque-YAY! Tamora Pierce! You lurrrved George too? Yay! -claps- I have never seen any of the Monty Python of which you speak, although I am going to look into acquiring it, as soon as I save up enough money. (My goal today is to have some completely random person come up to me on the street and give me $26.99 plus tax. Then I can finally go buy Phantom. GAH! I still don't own it). -goes tangenting again- Pirates of the Caribbean rocks. You know, you've given me a good idea. I shall have her make Erik read the most absurd, Sueish phic ever written. (Don't worry, it's nowhere near being any of yours) No names will be named, in case the Author(ess) ends up actually reading this piece of randomness. YAY! SUGAR! -twitches-

Onashii-Completely pointless? I beg to differ! -realizes it was completely pointless- So, I was, like, walking along, and I, like, tripped over these crickets. Were they yours?

Kit Anika- Wildmage-Maybe YOU didn't think of those things when we were in school, but WE did. What do you think THE Script (and all it's compatriots) were about? So does Yuka ever talk any more?

-

Previously on Titles are Overrated…

I could feel my face heating up. I didn't want this to be a romance story. No, that's not right. I wanted this to be a romance story, but…it's hard to explain. Let's just say I was completely mortified that AUTHORESS 1 told Erik that I had a thing for him. Perfect. "You promised that you wouldn't say a word about that," I told her. I picked up my sword, which was quite talkative and threw it at her. Aww… I missed.

"Madame, I am hardly a…boy," Erik said, even more menacing than when he'd threatened me. If this was an anime show I would've turned chibi, donned a cheerleader uniform and cheered Erik on, and Erik and Authoress 1 would've turned into chibi cats, probably.

Wow.

Interesting mental picture.

-

(((((RANDOM SWITCH TO AUTHORESS 27'S POV)))))

Why am I here? I should be consuming large quantities of sugar. I should be off updating or…something. Something more constructive than watching Erik and a pregnant woman duke it out. Although the turkey fight was fun.

"Well, if you're not a boy, how old are you?" asked Authoress 1.

Erik looked quite uncomfortable. "I…would prefer not to talk about it."

"Either way, you're way to old for Brie, so what does it matter."

Erik glared. No, he glared. "Am I old, or am I a boy? Make up your mind."

Authoress 1 prepared to respond snappishly, "Well-" Then a handcrafted arrow hit her, but bounced off. I could tell it was handcrafted. The crookedness was a dead giveaway.

Brie was standing a few feet away with a really shiny bow. Archery, not violin, although violin would've been funnier. "Wow," she said. "Can I really shoot one of these majiggers?"

Authoresses 1 and 2 said with her, "Which is the technical term."

I decided I really had to get out of this loony bin. Then I remembered that I wasn't too sane myself. The whole 'Gerard Butler in my closet' thingy wasn't exactly what a sane person would do.

Just by looking at Erik I could tell he was thinking vaguely along the same track as me, but I hoped that he didn't have Gerard Butler in his closet.

-

(((((SWITCH TO ERIK'S POV)))))

Why did cheese girl interrupt my fight? It was just getting started! I'd always wanted to Punjab an omnipotent being.

An argument started up between Authoresses 1 and 2, something about a script, with Authoress 27 trying to make peace. Brie came up and grabbed my arm, leading me out. What was with these girls just leading me around like some poodle or something? We made our way back to Christine's old dressing room, which I could tell she'd made herself quite comfortable in. I wondered if it was the Authoresses who made her move, instead of the draft, as she claimed.

"What are you doing with those completely insane…people?" I blurted out.

"You think they're bad?" she asked. "Read this." She started rummaging around in her bag again and pulled out something rectangular and shiny and black.

She flipped it open and started tapping on it, then showed me something. "Read that," she commanded. I read the paragraph she was pointing at. My jaw dropped.

"This…person…thinks I'm in love with…Raoul? That fop?"

"I regret to say so," she said, actually looking regretful.

-

(((((BRIE'S POV)))))

You were once my one companion,

You were all that mattered.

You were once a friend and father,

Then my world was shattered.

Wait a minute. Why is that in my head? My dad's still alive! And I'm nothing like Christine! Nothing! I prefer much more upbeat music.

In sleep he sang to me,

In dreams he came.

That voice which calls to me,

And speaks my name.

And do I dream again?

For now I find,


The Phantom of the Opera is there,

Inside my mind.

Aah! Is there no song in the entire thing that Christine doesn't sing?

Far too many notes for my taste…

"I'm not that desperate!"

"Excuse me?" Erik said.

After I had showed him the basics of FanFiction, I'd just let my mind wander.

Little Lotte let her mind wander…

Stupid fop! Get out of my head!

Anyway, Erik had just been reading synopses for different phics, looking disgusted at most of them. He looked back at the page when he saw I was off in la la land again.

"Brie… What is this…?" he asked.

Amazing. He was looking at the actual phic instead of the summary. Then I noticed the title of the phic. Titles Are Overrated. Whoops…

"What is this?" he asked again.

"Umm… I don't know…"

He glared at me, then returned to reading. He glanced again at the page, rereading a line. "What is your last name?" he asked. "The Authoress says that you have to have counseling and therapy because of it."

"She wasn't supposed to say anything about that either!"

"Your name seriously can't be that bad."

-

(((((THE NARRATOR'S POV MAKES THIS PART EASIER TO READ)))))

Brie glared death at Erik for a few seconds, then snatched her laptop away from him and busied herself on it, thoroughly ignoring the fact that he was still there.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Updating. Go away," she snarled. When he didn't move, she flung an arrow at him, but missed. He still didn't leave. Finally she got up and stomped out to the empty room next door.

-

(((((MEANWHILE BACK IN THE LAIR)))))

"Anyone want a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper?" Authoress 1 asked.

Authoress 2 looked disgusted, and Authoress 27 was having a conversation with thin air.

"This is getting really boring," Authoress 1 continued. "Anyone got any ideas for a plot twist?"

"Well, you could introduce the fop…" Authoress 27 suggested.

"That's always fun. Be back in a little!" Authoress 1 disappeared. She didn't have to directly supervise the entrance of the fop, but decided that it would be more fun that way.

-

Authoress 1 appeared in Christine's old dressing room (A/N: It's weird to call it anything else). Erik was sitting in there on the sofa, staring off into space. Suddenly a voice reached him.

No more talk


of darkness,


Forget these


wide-eyed fears.


I'm here,


nothing can harm you –


my words will


warm and calm you.

Let me be


your freedom,


let daylight


dry -your tears.


I'm here,


with you, beside you,


to guard you


and to guide you . . .

That fop! Erik thought, grinding his teeth together. Clearly he was here to see Christine. Having been absent from the opera, he didn't know that his beloved fiancée had switched rooms on him. Amazingly enough, the girl still thought that Erik didn't know that she and Raoul were engaged. How naïve.

Obviously the boy was expecting Christine to respond, but burst through the door anyway when she didn't.

"Why, you're that Ghost fellow, aren't you?" Raoul said upon observing him.

"No," Erik replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Very well then. Have you seen Christine? I can't seem to find her. And you might want to leave that mask off sometimes. Let the skin breathe, it works wonders for the complexion."

Erik raised an eyebrow at him, wondering if he should comply with the Vicomte's suggestion simply to see the boy faint. "No, I have not seen Christine. Is it not obvious that she no longer resides here?"

"What…?" Raoul asked.

Very observant boy, Erik thought. "Christine only wears white except for costumes. Does this," he held up the unornamented neon green dress that Brie had been planning to wear that day, "look like a costume to you? Christine is neat. Would she drape her petticoat over her bedpost or her corset over a drawer handle? Does Christine possess one of these?" here he picked up the arrow that Brie had thrown at him earlier.

"Umm…yes…?"

"For her fiancé, you don't know her very well," Erik commented. He saw the door open a little, and a bare arm slip through to widen the gap without making any noise. Did the Authoresses tip her off? he wondered.

"No one was supposed to know that for another month!" Raoul protested.

"It's kind of obvious that you're engaged if you keep wandering around making out all the time," a voice from outside the door said.

Raoul jumped about a foot and screamed his head off. When Brie entered the room, he asked—rather stupidly, "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," said Brie, as if talking to the very stupid (A/N: Which she was). "Can I cut your hair off?"

"Excuse me?" responded Raoul. Obviously his brain hadn't processed the request.

Brie pulled out a pair of scissors and chopped off the back of Raoul's hair, causing Erik to laugh loudly.

Raoul felt at the back of his head for the precious locks, but there were none to be found. The look on Raoul's face made Erik laugh even louder.

-

A/N: I'm gonna end it there, 'cause I know you guys want an update.