Disclaimer: Not Mine.
Desperate to Trust
Chapter 7
Everything within her body twisted, her insides heaving violently in defiance. Pain seared through her back as spasms wrenched her body. There's nothing left! There's nothing left! But her body continued to revolt until her lips burned from the acid.
A gentle hand alighted on her back and began to move in a circular pattern as the spasms gradually subsided. Kaoru felt weakness flood through her and would have collapsed into her own vomit if not for the strong arm that swept around her. Kenshin pulled her against him and continued to rub her back as she shuddered. Her head rolled limply into his shoulder and she whimpered softly.
"It's okay," he murmured. "It will pass."
She ached throughout but could cling to only one thought. "I'm sorry," she whispered, weary tears creeping down her cheeks.
"For what?"
"I wasted your good food."
Kenshin chuckled softly. "My dear Miss Kaoru!" He tilted her chin up and wiped at the tears staining her pale cheeks, his violet eyes tender and warm. "You just weren't ready yet. It takes time to heal. Don't rush it."
"But—."
"Shh," he pressed a silencing finger to her trembling lips. "No arguments."
Kaoru acquiesce as he gathered her into his arms and lifted her out of the snow. She didn't need a clear head to understand that she was completely at his mercy and could do nothing more than relent. But with a clear head she understood that he had done nothing but what was necessary to heal her. It wasn't his fault her body had revolted so violently to solid food.
He gently laid her on the futon and she sunk into its softness weakly, only half conscious of his fussing as he tucked the blanket around her. As if reading her mind, he soon held a cup of water to her lips and she drank it cautiously, washing the acid taste from her mouth. Kenshin gently brushed her long hair away from her pale face, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary.
"Better?" he asked and she nodded slightly.
"Our supply of wood is low. Will you be all right if I go out to gather some?"
Why does he care so much? No one ever has.
"Yes," she returned softly and he smiled as if he knew how unsure she really felt.
"I won't be far, I promise."
The silence made her edgy. Any moment she expected Fujo or Shun to come bursting through the door, boasting of how they had slaughtered her friend and would do the same to her in retribution. Contrary to all she believed, she fell prey to the fear.
Where is he? Where is he?
Suddenly her ears perked up to an oddly familiar sound. It was rhythmic and steady. He was chopping wood. Smiling with relief, Kaoru closed her eyes and turned her head into the pillow, allowing sleep to take her now that she knew it was safe to do so.
He had not expected her to react so violently to solid food that first time, but then he could only guess at the level of her undernourishment. Still, she was determined to overcome the weakness and before long her appetite returned ravenously. When she wasn't eating she was sleeping and when he wasn't doing any of the chores, he watched her sleep.
Beauty like hers was rare, blending the innocence of a child and the allure of a woman into something words could not describe. Had he known it was her down in his cabin all this time, could he have stayed away? In time he would find out. She would regain her strength before the winter was over and he would once again leave her to the privacy she deserved. Until then he secretly reveled in the simple tasks of bathing her angelic face and nursing her back to health.
In sleep, her peace was complete. No more nightmares disturbed her and he was spared for a time the oppressive emptiness of her haunted eyes. She doesn't deserve this pain.
He didn't mean to wake her, but he suspected she wasn't sleeping as deeply as she pretended to.
"What are you doing?" she asked softly as she propped herself up on her elbow.
Kenshin glanced down at the small tub he had dug out of the snow from behind the cabin. It was what he usually used for laundry when the weather was more agreeable, but it was also the largest tub he had to hold water. At the moment it was barely half full with the water he had been heating on the fire.
"I didn't mean to wake you, Miss Kaoru," he smiled softly.
"You didn't wake me. What are you doing, Kenshin?"
It was all he could do to keep his smile from spreading into a foolish grin. He loved the sound of his name on her lips. The heart of sword never sounded so soft and gentle.
"I thought you might like a bath, Miss Kaoru," he said honestly. "I found this tub under the snow by the wood pile."
Her pale cheeks colored. Why is he so nice to me? No one has ever cared about what I wanted or needed.
Kenshin's eyes widened as he misread her blush. "As soon as your water is ready, I will go and check the traps, Miss Kaoru, so you will have the cabin to yourself, that you will." He said quickly.
It was all she could do to keep her tears, so she dropped her head that her bangs might hide her eyes. "Thank you, Kenshin."
He stared at her quizzically for a moment and then with a shrug, turned to retrieve another pot of hot water from the fire. Kaoru was a puzzling girl. There was so much mystery about her that called to the wary nature of the Battousai within him. In the last few days, her ki had grown stronger, a good sign that her health would return as long as she remained under his care. Her will to live was almost overpowering. It made him wonder what she had that was so worth living for. As one who had desecrated life, he felt it was something beyond his reach. That made her beyond his reach.
More so than her strength was the innocence that fascinated the Battousai. He had seen her stab a man in defense. She had tried to stab him as well, whether provoked by fever or fear. The wound in her shoulder was inflicted by a katana, and he had seen her hold one like she knew how to use it. Despite all of this, her ki was laced with such purity as he had never encountered before. True, he wasn't given to reading a woman's ki, but such innocence did not naturally coexist with a warrior spirit. Kaoru was a rare jewel of a woman, and the beast within him knew it.
Disturbed by this realization, Kenshin straightened up sharply. Kaoru glanced up at his sudden movement and he offered her a slight, reassuring smile.
"Your water is ready, Miss Kaoru," he said as he turned away and picked up his sword, sliding it through the belt of his hakama. "You might bar the door when I leave," he suggested as he opened it and stepped out without a second glance at her.
Kaoru stared at the door that closed behind him. Something was wrong. She had sensed a slight change in his mood. He had tried to hide it behind his ever-kindly smile, but she was not as untrained in ki sensing as some might think. The change had been very subtle and she might not have noticed it at all if he hadn't reacted to it physically.
"I wonder what he was thinking," she murmured as she pulled herself up unsteadily and walked to the door, sliding the bar in place as he had suggested. Bathing was an exhausting feat, but she took her time since she knew he would take his in checking the traps for food. For the second time since she had arrived on the mountain, she was able to scrub every bit of dirt from her body and she was alarmed to find she could count her ribs through her pale skin.
Has it really come to that? I would have died long ago if he hadn't…why did he decide to care for me, even before he knew anything about me? When Kenshin returned, she was sitting before the fire combing her damp hair over her shoulder with her fingers. She paused when the door opened, but didn't turn and from her semi-tense position, Kenshin gathered she had known it was him before he even opened the door.
For a moment he forgot he had left the door open. He just stood there, captured by the picture she presented. The warm glow of the fire lit her features graciously and her damp hair gleamed with an unusual blue-black reflection. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.
When she turned her wide eyes toward him in question, it was all he could do to hold his place. More than just the man had fallen prey to her charm in that moment.
"The door," she said softly, almost in question and he snapped out of his trance. With a backward swipe of his hand, the door slammed shut and he strode towards the table, ignoring the start she had given at his sudden display of force.
Kaoru watched him warily for a moment before turning back to the fire, trying to forget the expression that had swept across his face. It had been plain and simple wonder…and the desire to possess the object of wonder. Despite the heat of the fire, she shivered at the reminder that she knew nothing of this man, no matter how kind and considerate he had been so far. And she was alone with him on the mountain. Even the legend of Oni had faded to the background as she knew he could be nothing more than a creation of her own imagination, an explanation to the things she did not understand. Now she understood. There was a man…and her. Nothing in between.
A blanket draped over her shoulders, his strong hands lingering for a moment before pulling away. "You must not catch cold, Miss Kaoru," he said softly and she felt an unearthly tingle snake up her spine. She pulled the blanket close around her and did not turn to meet his gaze.
In silence he prepared their meal and in silence she ate it. Her stomach was finally willing to accept solid food, but not quite so much. This often led to a frown creasing Kenshin's handsome face, but tonight he said nothing. Kaoru found his silence unnerving when she realized that she was not the only one emitting uneasy vibes.
"Is something wrong, Kenshin?" she asked when she could no longer handle the silence. When he turned his wide violet eyes upon her, she could not see a trace of the agitation he felt.
"No, Miss Kaoru," he said with his usual reassuring smile.
She stared at him uncertainly, fingering the edge of her blanket in thought. "Because if something is, you should tell me," she said and raised her chin slightly in confidence. I'm not a child, to be treated lightly.
He studied her for a moment and she could almost see him weighing the decision of should or should not. Then the smile appeared again and she knew he would tell her nothing.
"I assure you, Miss Kaoru, everything is fine. You should go to sleep, that you should."
Kaoru wondered if the fear she had felt earlier had even been real. How could she fear this man when now she was certain he sought only to protect her from things she knew nothing of? Obedient to his suggestion, she lay down and pulled the blankets around her. Sleep wouldn't come so quickly for her. From where she lay, she watched him for he had not moved from his own place by the fire. Staring into the flames, he looked distant, almost unreachable. Pain came to mind. His was the look she had seen on the faces of old warriors, the ones who lived to regret the life they had and the ones they had taken.
Something fearsome lay within the man she knew as Kenshin Himura. His heart was as dark as it was kind, of this she had no doubt. Perhaps the danger he presented was one she had never dared to think of. He was like a katana; beautiful in its grace and design, but created for the single purpose of taking life. Kenshin carried only one sword as a rurouni, but Kaoru knew he did more than just wield the sword. He was the sword. He was beautiful and lethal and yet she trusted him as she had never trusted anyone in her life…and all she knew was his name.
"Go to sleep, Miss Kaoru," he said softly and her eyes widened for he still stared into the flames. After a moment he turned to glance at her, his eyes dark but warm with the glow of the fire.
"Good night, Kenshin," she whispered softly and closed her eyes.
In Japanese folklore, an Oni is a creature that could sometimes summon powerful storms. I couldn't find a whole lot of information on it so I had to improvise with the legend in my story. You can kind of look at it as being something of an urban legend for the villagers who live around the forbidden mountain.