Disclaimer: I lay no claim to the characters of Rurouni Kenshin. I just manipulate their world for fun.

Journey

Chapter 9

Kaoru filled her lungs with cool mountain air and smiled. The air never tasted sweeter as it did then, telling her she was alive when she shouldn't be. The last time she trudged through this forest, it seemed destined and determined to claim her. It hadn't mattered if it did for a force within her refused to give up so easily. She had clung to the hope that there would be something over the next hill, the next horizon, that would mean life…and it walked six paces in front of her.

For the last two days she had been staring at the same back, studying the prismatic reds in each strand of long hair, memorizing his walk so that she would know him even in darkness. She had grown used to the cold intensity inspired by Eiji's presence. It reminded her of just how little she knew of the violet-eyed samurai. If the strength that surrounded him was any inclination as to what lay beneath the many layers of Kenshin Himura, then maybe there was something to the twinge of fear she felt when he fell into silent contemplation.

She knew what awaited them at the bottom of the mountain. The memories would forever haunt her, the seven helpless children slaughtered before her eyes. They wouldn't let her look away, going so far as to bathe her in the blood of those innocents. Had she a sword of her own, she would have thrown her father's no-kill teachings to the wind and slain them all with her remaining strength. Rage demanded vengeance for the ones she failed to protect, for her own student and heir to the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu.

But integrity was not so easily forsaken and she sought to save life instead of delivering death. When she gave herself to Oni's mountain, she had ceased to believe in anything anymore. Then she met Kenshin. Pain lived in him, but he seemed to have found a way to exist with it, to surpass it even. Maybe, just maybe she could too. Whoever he was, she believed in him. She had to because she had nothing else to believe in anymore.

It seemed as though they had been walking for hours, but she was not as tired as she should have been. It was then that she noticed how the snow she walked upon was significantly patted down more so than it should be when only two people had passed over it. A shy smile flickered across her lips when she realized Kenshin was taking double steps, treading down the deep snow to ease her walk.

He hasn't glanced at me once in the last two hours and yet he still thinks of me, taking care of me. He barely even knows me and yet he promised to never let anything happen to me, that he would never fail me. Her fingers trailed across her lips in reflection. So gentle and kind…this was the Kenshin she knew. He was the first in her life since her father to count the tears she cried, to care that her eyes no longer shined and that life had become an empty, meaningless word to her. On her own since she was twelve and an outcast because she practice swordsmanship, she had forgotten what it was like to have someone stand between her and the rest of the world.

Her eyes drifted past the red-haired samurai to the man beyond. Eiji had been nothing but affable toward her and as Kenshin had said, she had grown used to his presence. The man was a fountain of information on just about any subject and Kaoru listened attentively when he talked. She was hungry for knowledge and Eiji was well traveled. Sometimes she got the impression that Kenshin was just as well traveled when his gaze would meet Eiji's in silent confirmation, but he rarely contributed to the conversation. He seemed focused more on what awaited them in the near future than on the now.

Evening seemed to fall early in the forest and Kaoru glanced up at the blue shaded sky, eager early stars peeking through the bare branches down at her. In her distraction, she didn't see the tree root Kenshin had uncovered and let out a startled yelp when she tripped. In confusion, she stared at the snow beneath her hands and knees and wondered how it got there. A hand appeared in her view and she glanced up at its owner.

"Are you all right, Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked with concern.

"Yes, Kenshin," she gave him a reassuring smile as she took his offered hand and let him pull her to her feet. "I wasn't watching where I was going," she admitted and his eyes smiled at her.

"It's a good place to stop," Kenshin said as he released her hand. "It will be too dark to walk soon anyway."

Eiji glanced up at the sky. "We made better time today. I'm impressed, Miss Kaoru."

Kaoru shuffled over to a fallen log, suddenly grateful for Kenshin's forethought in trampling the path for her as she felt the strain of pushing through deeper snow. "I know I slow you down, Eiji. You don't have to humor me."

The man chuckled as he set his pack down against a tree. "Hardly as much as you think, Miss Kaoru."

By the time darkness fell, Eiji had built a roaring fire to keep the darkness at bay. Kaoru excused herself from their company with the promise not to wander far and they were left alone to talk as men did only when a woman was not around.

"She's no ordinary girl," Eiji said as he watched the legendary samurai prepare a bed for her close to the warmth of the flames just as he had done the two nights before.

Kenshin paused in his action to spare him a dark glance. Eiji sighed softly and poked at the fire. "You don't have to tell me twice, Himura. But you know as well as I do that she will only be a distraction down there. How well can you do your job while protecting her?"

"I have already considered that, Eiji," Kenshin said softly as he straightened and stepped near the fire to warm his hands.

"So what are you going to do with her?"

"That's my concern."

Eiji frowned and threw his stick into the fire. "Fair enough."

A distraction? Kaoru frowned. It was true. Her presence would only endanger Kenshin and she didn't want to be his weakness. She didn't want to be anyone's weakness. Casting a thoughtful glance into the darkness behind her, she wondered if things would have been far better for Kenshin if their paths had never crossed. What if she just disappeared? No one had ever missed her before.

"Miss Kaoru?" his voice drifted to her and she knew her presence had been sensed. Was it possible he always knew where she was? Her father had mentioned that some possessed such strong ki and ki sensing abilities as to be able to tune into a single person miles away. If that were true, then disappearing would be far more difficult than expected.

"I'm here, Kenshin," she said softly as she stepped out of the shadows and rejoined them.

Eiji offered her something to eat and she took it gratefully, giving no hint that she had over heard their conversation. After a moment, Kenshin stood and slipped his sword through his belt.

"I'm going to scout ahead," he said. "I won't be gone long."

"Be careful," Kaoru said and he offered a warm smile and an affirmative nod.

It was the first time he had ever left her alone with Eiji and Kaoru wondered what could have inspired this.

Eiji smiled and started poking at the fire again with another stick. "He can see just fine in the dark."

"Excuse me?"

"You're worried. Don't be. He's used to traveling in shadow."

"Oh," she said softly. "You've known him a long time?"

Eiji chuckled. "We fought together in the Bakumatsu, Miss Kaoru. He saved my life a time or two with that legendary sword of his."

"Kenshin fought in the Bakumatsu?"

The swordsman hesitated. "If he hasn't told you himself, then I shouldn't say anymore."

"He never talks about himself," Kaoru agreed and then leaned forward so that the firelight lit her face. "Which side were you on?"

His lips quirked at her gumption. Apparently this one didn't know when to play it safe.

"We were with the Ishin Shishi."

"I see," she said thoughtfully. The Ishin Shishi had fought for the new era of growth and equality they now lived in. If Eiji and Kenshin had fought in the same war for the same ideals, then why did Kenshin carry the burden of pain that was absent from Eiji?

"Has he changed much since then?" she asked.

Eiji smirked. "After the war, he vowed to never kill again and as far as I know, he has kept his vow."

"I see," she murmured. Then as an after thought, "But he still carries a sword."

"Strangest piece of metal I've ever seen," Eiji replied. "It's a reverse-blade sword. The sharp edge is on the wrong side."

"A reverse-blade sword?" Kaoru echoed in surprise.

Eiji nodded. "I know what you're thinking, but in his hands, a stick could prove deadly. Heaven help us all if he ever breaks that vow of his."

"You speak like he's a monster in hiding," she frowned.

"Some pasts just don't die so easily, Miss Kaoru. Once a manslayer, always a manslayer."

Kaoru felt her blood chill. "Kenshin was an assassin?"

A shadow fell across the man's face as he stared at her, all cheer gone from his expression. "It is none of my business to speak of another man's past, especially his, Miss Kaoru. But I see how you look at him."

She blushed at his words. "H-how do I look at him?"

"You trust him, in a way I could never understand. Only because of this do I tell you so much. He is not the man you think he is."

"I know he has a past," she told him firmly.

"But one carved in blood? If you do not know the man he was, how can you ever know the man he is? Miss Kaoru, I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Kenshin would never hurt me," she said, surprised by the hesitance in her voice. Those gentle violet eyes were not the eyes of a killer, but there was so much she didn't know about him. Kenshin had been a manslayer, a shadow assassin, a cold-blooded killer.

"I didn't mean that, Miss Kaoru," Eiji spoke gently. "I just don't want you to believe he is something he's not."

Kaoru dropped her gaze to the fire that seemed to take on the image of the flame haired samurai. Eiji was telling her to not trust Kenshin, but she already did. She couldn't help it. He had saved her life, cared for her as no others had, given her a reason to wake each morning. But there was pain in his eyes, a haunting such as she had never had to suffer. Eiji was right about Kenshin's past, she knew he was.

"Eiji," she spoke thoughtfully. While we are on the subject of manslayers and the Bakumatsu, I might as well satisfy my curiosity. "Did you know Battousai the manslayer?"

The man went very still and she raised her eyes to find his expression flickering with anxiety.

"Hai," he said hesitantly.

"Does he still live?"

"Hai."

Kaoru noted he was very uncomfortable with the subject, but he had answered her so far. So the Battousai still lives. Why wouldn't he? He was the strongest of the Ishin Shishi. If Eiji knew him, then Kenshin may have too.

"Is he everything they say he was?"

"He was the best at what he did."

"They say the Meiji Era would never have emerged if it weren't for him," she gently prodded.

"Hai."

Kaoru frowned. "You don't like talking about him, do you?"

He pushed another log onto the fire. "I don't much care for the past."

Kaoru took the hint and kept her silence, her thoughts vacillating between Kenshin and the Battousai, two manslayers on the same side of the revolution. Stories about the man who made it rain blood were far spread and well known. Had he been cold-hearted and unemotional, simply a killer in the truest sense of the word? Or had he been a man after all? Could someone like him change as Kenshin had, for one could not even guess of Kenshin's past when gazing into those peaceful eyes. Would Kenshin ever speak of his past to her?

The soft crunching of snow announced his return and she wondered if he walked so noisily for her benefit as she knew he had the grace and stealth of a cat, the grace and stealth of a predator. Awareness of this hidden side of his was unnerving.

"Find anything interesting?" Eiji asked when Kenshin stepped into the ring of firelight.

"There's a storm coming," he replied as he kneeled beside the fire and laid his sword beside him. Kaoru's eyes were drawn to the action, realizing that the sword was never far from his hand for as long as she had known him.

"How soon?"

"Midday if the wind holds off till morning."

"How big, do you think?" Eiji asked.

"Big."

"Oni must be angry," Eiji remarked with humor.

"Those are just stories," Kaoru murmured even as she shivered.

Kenshin glanced at her, taking note of the uneasy change in her ki. "That they are, Miss Kaoru."

"There's truth to every myth," Eiji said as he poked at the fire. "Just a few weeks ago I ran into some fellows who had been up on the mountain. Scared witless they were. Kept rambling about a golden-eyed monster that attacked them in the dead of the night. They were lucky to be alive and I would know. They had some nasty scars to show for it." He smiled at Kaoru. "This Oni may not be one to control the weather, but he's real and dangerous all the same."

"Eiji," Kenshin warned softly.

"These men," Kaoru spoke. "Do you know their names?"

"I'm afraid I don't. Why?"

"It's nothing," she murmured as she dropped her head. I thought Kenshin chased off those two men, but Eiji says they claimed a golden-eyed demon attacked them. Could it be that I was never alone on the mountain, even before Kenshin came? Is Oni real after all?

"There is no need to worry, Miss Kaoru," Kenshin spoke reassuringly. "You should get some sleep, that you should."

Kaoru nodded and obediently laid down on the bed he had made for her and tried to silence her disturbing thoughts. It seemed she was surrounded by legends. Battousai's name spoken over the campfire brought his shadowed image to her mind and she was uncertain if she should fear him or Oni more.

Then there was Kenshin… and Eiji's words could not be shaken from her head. Kenshin, an assassin. She despised those who killed wantonly, for they stood against everything her father believed and those beliefs had become her own. Even in her moment of greatest pain and anger, she could not break those beliefs and now she placed her faith and trust in a man who had killed so many with a mere flick of his wrist and no backward glance.

Can I still believe in him knowing what I know?

Halfway through her ruminations she felt someone tuck the corners of her blanket securely around her shoulders. Whether I should or not, I do.

The wind woke her and she sat up to find dawn had not yet found them. The fire had long since burned out.

"Good, you're awake!" Eiji appeared beside her suddenly and she looked up at him more alert and awake than she should be at such an early hour.

"It's colder," she told him as she struggled to her feet and glanced around. "Where's Kenshin?"

Eiji shrugged as he started bundling up her blankets into Kenshin's pack. "Don't know, but he'll be back soon. Here, eat something while you can. It's going to be a rough trek today."

By the time Kaoru polished off breakfast, Kenshin came striding back into the camp, worry creasing his soft features. He wiped the expression away instantly when he saw her.

"Good morning, Miss Kaoru," he said cheerfully. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," she said, relieved that it was the truth. Exhaustion had spared her the dreams that might sprout from the information she had learned the night before.

The wind beat at them from all directions and she knew as Kenshin had predicted, it was going to be a bad storm. By midmorning, white flakes had begun drifting from the gray clouded sky, swirling in a haze on the eager wind.

"It's going to be ugly up here in just a few hours," Eiji murmured as he paused.

"This is where we split off," Kenshin said and Eiji turned in surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

Kenshin met his stare evenly. "I'll meet you in three, four days. There's something I have to do first."

Eiji's eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to read between Kenshin's words. "All right. I can find shelter more easily on my own anyway. Don't take too long, Himura." He then turned an amiable smile on Kaoru. "You take care, Miss Kaoru."

She nodded mutely as he turned and started off on the trail at a pace she knew she could never keep in this kind of weather.

"Kenshin?"

"We best hurry, Miss Kaoru," he smiled at her but his eyes betrayed concern. Again she nodded and urged her obstinate legs to follow him away from Eiji's disappearing figure.

Where is he taking me? Wouldn't it be better to get as far down the mountain as possible? But this trail is taking us around it and seemingly straight into the storm!

She didn't ask the questions. Her words would have frozen the moment they left her mouth and she needed all of her energy to keep moving. The wind rocked the trees and the cascade of white from the sky swirled mercilessly around them until at times she thought she would lose sight of Kenshin. Soon her limbs wouldn't obey her at all and she stumbled and fell into the deepening snow.

So familiar… she thought faintly even as a strong hand grasped her arm and hoisted her to her feet.

"It's not far, Miss Kaoru," he hollered over the wind and she was relieved that he did not pull away from her. His touch seemed to lend her enough strength to go just a little further, but even that was not enough to keep her going headlong into the blizzard's enraged winds.

She felt as though the wind was cutting into her body, tearing the breath from her lungs and she was leaden by the icy cold. Before she could collapse once more into the drifts, the wind swept her up and the whole world reeled into a blur of red and white, fire and snow. When she dared to open her eyes again, she found herself nestled securely against a familiar dark blue gi. He had not even broken his pace when he swept her into his arms.

Kaoru curled into him, burying her face in his gi in hopes of finding some of his warmth. There wasn't much to be had as the icy wind relentlessly clawed at them and she shivered uncontrollably.

Kenshin clutched her tightly against him. I have to get her out of this storm. Where is it? I can barely see anything!

She was only half aware when the wind suddenly ceased. It still howled, but she could no longer feel it. Opening one eye, darkness greeted her and she blinked in surprise. What happened to all of the snow?

"Kenshin?" she murmured softly and was surprised her voice still worked.

"We will be safe from the storm here, Miss Kaoru," he assured her as he carefully set her down.

For an uneasy moment she could not see him, only darkness and she felt panic grip her. There was a soft shuffling and then a grating scrape and sparks broke the black void to light his face. It was like a vision or a dream, his face illuminated by the tiny flickering flames growing from the spark he had struck. Strength and power were never more visible in his expression than in that moment.

He fed the fire from a well-stocked pile of wood stored in the cave and Kaoru's eyes adjusted quickly with the added light. The cave was almost as large as the cabin, the ceiling high enough for a man like Kenshin to stand in without trouble. There must have been a curve in the cave's entrance because she could not see nor feel the storm, though she heard a distant howling.

As the fire grew in intensity, she began to realize just how cold she really was as the shivers seized her forcefully again. Kenshin stoked the fire until he was certain its warmth would reach all corners of the cave. When his eyes alighted on Kaoru's shivering frame he felt a sharp stab of guilt. She had wanted to stay behind, but instead he had dragged her into this journey when she was still far from well. The travel had worn on her more than she was willing to admit, but he could see it in her hollowed face, the dullness of her eyes. Her eyes had no luster from the first day he met her, but the emptiness had grown with the strain he had put her through. Not once did she complain and he knew she never would. This woman was a fighter, even if she didn't know what she was fighting for.

He pulled a blanket from his pack and stepped around the fire to wrap it around her shoulders.

"It's so c-c-c-cold," she chattered as he roughly rubbed warmth into her arms.

"I know," he said mournfully, "I'm sorry."

"Y-you didn't bring the st-st-storm, Kenshin," she said and he chuckled softly.

"No, I suppose not." He wrapped his arms around her and started working on her icy hands. Kaoru watched his sword callused hands work over her slender fingers, chafing life back into her flesh. The hands of a manslayer.

The cold has gotten to my brain, she decided.

"Kenshin," she spoke softly as her brain began to thaw.

"Yes, Miss Kaoru?"

"You've been here before."

"I have waited out many storms here, yes," he replied.

"Kenshin?"

"Yes, Miss Kaoru." His voice was tinged with amusement.

"Where are we going?"

His hands stopped moving. "Some place safe."

That wasn't much of an answer.

"It's okay if you don't tell me, Kenshin," she said softly and closed her eyes. "I trust you."

His arms tightened around her and her eyes flickered open to stare at the distant wall. Did I say something wrong? Glancing over her shoulder into his violet stare she saw something she was never meant to see. Longing and remorse, anguish, hate, hunger, and guilt…all of his emotions shown in his eyes with shattering intensity and she knew, she knew there was not a shadow of a doubt to his past.

"Kenshin?"

He smiled suddenly and his favored passive expression swept the other emotions away from his eyes. She doesn't need to know. She never needs to know. "Miss Kaoru, do you have any family?" he asked much to her surprise.

"No," she murmured and dropped her gaze to the fire. "My mother died when I was very young, and my father when I was twelve."

"I'm sorry," he murmured sympathetically.

"It's alright, Kenshin," she said softly. "It was a long time ago."

"Do you remember them?"

"I hardly remember my mother, but I think about my father all the time."

"You loved him."

"Very much," Kaoru said, a tiny tear slipping down her cheek. "My father was a great swordsman and he had many students. He left the dojo to me when he died. As assistant master I continued teaching his technique, the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. The others didn't think it was proper for a woman to teach swordsmanship."

Kenshin chuckled softly. "I had a suspicion."

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen you hold a sword, Miss Kaoru."

"When did I…oh, the katana from the cabin. That was yours, wasn't it? Whatever happened to that?"

She felt his body tense against her and he started warming her hands again. "It's not important. How many students did you have, Miss Kaoru?"

So the katana is off limits. The feeling of dark power the sword possessed spoke of a bloody past, one that she now realized must have belonged to Kenshin. But the sword had been hidden away in the cabin for countless years…because he didn't use it anymore. He didn't kill anymore.

"There were a few that would come for lessons as long as their parents didn't know, but I only had one official student. He was an orphan I took in a while ago, a brat, but he had a lot of potential." He could hear the fondness in her voice. "He would have been my successor to the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu."

"Would have been?"

Kaoru didn't reply and Kenshin leaned his head against hers, hugging her close. There was no comfort for this loss. The boy had been the last in her life and now she was a woman alone. He couldn't take that pain away, no matter how much he wanted to. She cried softly, her body shuddering from her quiet sobs and he lifted his hands to wipe the warm tears from her angel face.

Kaoru turned into him suddenly, burying her face in his gi as her grief gripped her hopelessly. Her tears had been spent for the people taken from her life, for the pain they had suffered. Not one tear had been shed for herself until now. Her stifled sobbing shook him and he held her as tightly as humanly possible, burying his face in her thick ebony locks.

"I'm here," he whispered softly as he gently stroked soothing patterns on her back. I'm here for you, Kaoru.

Before you all can ask me, yes the boy Kaoru was speaking of was Yahiko. Okay, let the tantrums and hissy fits begin!