Disclaimer: I lay no claims to the characters of Rurouni Kenshin, just the smattering of unimportant OC's in this fic. Oh, you might recognize a few phrases in here from the anime "kenshin-isms" I guess you could call them. Obviously, if you recognize it, it does not belong to me.

Reason

Chapter 10

His amber-flecked eyes kept drifting to her delicate features passive in sweet slumber. She had cried herself to sleep in the warmth of his embrace and it had been difficult letting go. Kaoru Kamiya had woven a spell upon him that he had no desire to break. But she would turn from him if she knew what he was.

Kenshin growled softly as he prodded the fire, embers scattering into ash. There had been times before in his wandering years when his anger sparked like the flames, but the thirst for revenge had never been so acute. Whoever stole the shine from Kaoru's eyes was going to wish they had never been born. Her shattering cries had torn him to pieces and he ached to keep her in the center of his world, safe from pain and suffering for he bore enough for the two of them.

He knew he was unworthy of her, one so innocent and pure of the sins that blackened his past, but no other was capable of protecting her from the evils he was so familiar with. No other seemed to want the job yet he would embrace it readily that he might see those midnight blue eyes glow with something more than firelight. And she need never know.

One could only guess what thoughts drifted through her mind when she sat in silent contemplation. She watched him often and he wondered if it was ever for more than the desire to see another face.

These are not thoughts I should entertain. Even as he scolded himself, his gaze again drifted to her face. Is it possible? What I am feeling, could it be something more than the need to protect? There have been others before but…I want to protect her forever.

Seeking escape from his disturbing thoughts, he stepped away from the fire towards the cave's entrance. Calm silence greeted him when he stepped out into the white world. Snow still fell steadily from the dark sky, but the relentless wind had passed over with the fiercest part of the storm. It had grown very cold upon the mountain, colder than he had ever noticed before. Having satisfied his curiosity, he returned to the warmth and seclusion of the cave.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I really need to get some sleep. He put another log on the fire to ensure it would keep a while longer and then knelt beside Kaoru. She had turned her back to the fire within the few minutes he had stepped out, her blanket having slipped off her shoulders when she had done so. Even with the warmth of the fire and a blanket, she still shivered and whimpered softly as she was pulled into another unpleasant dream.

Kenshin had watched over her troubled sleep many nights in pained wonder, but now he knew where her dreams were taking her. Tonight, he would not let her go alone. Setting his sword within easy reach, he lay beside her and pulled the blanket over them both. Wrapping his arms around her trembling body, he pulled her into him, tucking her head securely under his chin. Almost instantly, she stilled and Kenshin smiled sadly before closing his eyes, hoping sleep would come slowly so that he might fool himself for a moment longer about the angel he held in his arms.

I should be afraid. I should be terrified…but I'm not. Kaoru could not understand the feelings upon her as she gazed into that shadowed face ablaze with fierce amber eyes. She knew IT had come for her. She had heard the horrified cries of the men felled by the creature's steel claws, inhuman cries of sheer terror torn from men only when they faced death or something worse. Those men were all that stood between her and IT, but they did not stand long and now IT came for her. Molten embers bore through her, intent on only reaching her…and she was not afraid.

Kaoru reluctantly pulled herself from the all too realistic dream and her eyes fluttered open to stare at a strong masculine chest just barely hidden beneath a dark blue gi. Tilting her head up slightly, she met a pair of alert violet eyes and became aware of the warmth that encircled her despite the obvious cold that had seeped into the cave.

"Morning," he spoke softly and she was surprised to notice the slight hesitance in his voice. He was uncertain of how she would react to waking in his arms.

Kaoru blinked sleepily and smiled much to Kenshin's relief. "Morning."

"The storm has passed," he told her and she felt a stab of disappointment.

"Does that mean we have to leave?"

Kenshin chuckled softly and she was warmed by the rumble she felt in his chest. "Soon. We still have a long way to go."

"I like it here," she murmured as she closed her eyes and snuggled into his chest. "Safe."

He stared down at her in surprise for a moment before hugging her close. It felt so natural to hold her like this and her presence had ensured him the most peaceful slumber he had enjoyed in years. A part of him wanted to keep her there forever and an equal part of him suspected she would be content to do just that. A woman's instinct was rarely wrong and indeed she was safe with him and always would be. Always.

"Kaoru," he spoke softly but she did not respond. Curious, he disentangled himself enough to gaze fully into her face once again set in slumber.

"Poor kid," he murmured as he brushed his fingers across her cheek. "You were never in any condition to travel like this." As an after thought, he placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead before tucking the blanket snuggly around her. When she woke again, it would be to the crisp white morning and Kenshin's easy swinging pace.

I could get used to this, she thought.

"Kenshin," she murmured and he glanced down at her.

"Ah, you're awake, Miss Kaoru."

He knew I was awake, she mused with amusement.

"I can walk, Kenshin."

"You are far from well, Miss Kaoru, and I have been pushing you too hard."

"I'm not made of glass, Kenshin," she protested.

He smiled with amusement but she could tell by the set of his jaw that her words had little affect.

"You can't carry me forever, Kenshin," she frowned.

"I possibly could, Miss Kaoru. You are quite light."

"Kenshin, please, just let me walk for a little while. I promise I will tell you when I'm tired."

He sighed and gently set her on her feet in the snow. Pulling the blanket tightly around her shoulders he fixed her with a firm stare. "The minute you get tired," he reminded her.

"I promise," she repeated with an innocent smile that turned his insides to mush.

Kenshin fell into the same habit of trampling the snow for her as they walked single file, and yet his pace never seemed slow. Regardless of Kenshin's past, she knew now nothing she learned about him could ever change how she felt. Eiji had said she could not know the man Kenshin was now if she never knew the man he had been. Maybe that was true, but not knowing the man before didn't mean she couldn't love the man now.

Love? She jerked to a stop. Do I…do I love Kenshin? Even after all that Eiji told me about Kenshin having been a manslayer? How can I love this man I hardly know?

She watched his graceful walk, wondering how many had died because they never saw or heard him coming. Her eyes drifted to the sword at his side. Eiji said Kenshin had vowed to never kill again, so why does he still carry a sword? Even if it is a reverse-blade sword, why carry a sword at all?

"Kenshin," she called as she started walking again. He paused and glanced back at her.

"What is it, Miss Kaoru?"

"Did you fight in the Bakumatsu?" She knew he had, but she couldn't tell him that.

His expression was unreadable. "Yes," he said warily.

I'm halfway in the river now, she decided now that she had his rapt attention. Might as well go all the way. "Is it true that you have vowed to never kill again?"

The expression that flickered across his face was not one she had expected. His eyes softened noticeably.

"I have."

"Then why do you still carry a sword?"

"It is a reverse-blade sword," he explained as he pulled his sword free with a soft rasp and held it out to her. "And it cannot kill anyone."

Kaoru stepped closer and tentatively reached out to touch the cold steel. The reverse edge was sharp, but anyone who knew a sword knew this one was made to be drawn with the blunt edge out. It could do severe damage in the hands of a man who knew how to use it. Should one mean to deal a death blow, the blade merely needed to be flipped. Kaoru wondered if he had ever desired to do so. Pulling her hand away, she met his passive gaze.

"Miss Kaoru, why do you practice the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu?" he asked as he sheathed his sword.

"The Kamiya Kasshin Ryu is meant to revitalize the spirit. It is dedicated to the belief that a sword is meant to protect life, not take it," she said, her eyes glinting with pride.

Kenshin smiled slightly and turned away from her. "Swordsmanship is learning how to kill, Miss Kaoru. Only those whose hands have never been stained with the blood of innocent men can believe otherwise." He paused and glanced over his shoulder at her. "But to be honest, I prefer your words to the truth, indeed I do. Perhaps one day all men will live by them. Until then, I will carry this sword and protect my friends from those who do not."

Kaoru blinked in surprise at his words, at the frank honesty behind them. This man, this samurai, this former manslayer, lived by the same beliefs as her. Hiding her smile, she started to follow him again. They walked in silence for only a moment as Kaoru's train of thought continued on the same path it had two nights before.

"Kenshin," she spoke again and he turned slightly, his pace not halting.

"Yes, Miss Kaoru?"

"Did you know the Battousai?"

His shoulders tensed, wary once again. Would everyone who had known the legend react the same way?

"Yes," he said softly.

Something in his answer told her he had more than simply known the legendary manslayer. Did they work together, perhaps?

"What was he like?" she ventured.

Kenshin walked silently for a moment. "He was…withdrawn," he finally said.

Kaoru glanced down at the pure white snow. "He must have suffered great pain," she murmured.

Kenshin stopped in surprise and turned towards her. "Why do you say so?"

"I do not think he wanted to be a manslayer."

Kenshin's eyes widened considerably. "Miss Kaoru—"

"Had he no conscience, he would have suffered no pain. Why then isolate himself from the people he fought for?" she replied.

Kenshin's head tilted slightly in thought, red bangs brushing across his forehead. "I suppose you are right, Miss Kaoru," he said finally.

"A man like him," she said softly, "I think he suffered very much. Maybe he still does." Glancing up, she offered him a slight smile. "I'm sorry for bringing up the past, Kenshin."

"There is no need to apologize, Miss Kaoru," he said softly. "I had no right to ask for your trust when I have told you nothing of myself."

Kaoru smiled shyly at him. "It was given freely, Kenshin." She turned away quickly to hide the blush sweeping up her neck.

Kenshin watched her in startled amazement. Eiji must have told her something of his muddled past, but kept his silence about the identity of the Battousai. And knowing this, she did not gaze at him any differently. How could she be so accepting of him when she knew he had a past dark with blood and secrets? How could she be so forgiving?

As from the moment he first laid eyes upon her, the darkness within him stirred to life fighting for precedence in his multi-colored eyes. Would she fear him if she knew the truth? If she ever saw his eyes bathed in amber fire, saw the beast within him watching her with unfettered desire, would she have the courage to face him?

He couldn't bear the thought of her ever speaking those words of trust and forgiveness to another. She knew him, even the part of him she did not know existed. Few had ever perceived the madness he had sentenced himself to during the revolution, but her words… I think he suffered very much. Maybe he still does...

As he watched her trudge slowly through the deep snow before him, he knew the Battousai within would never be appeased until this young maiden became his. She had lost everything and lived for nothing, and he wanted to give it all back. He wanted her reason to be him.

I will never betray her trust. I will never let anyone hurt her again. And I will make those eyes shine once more.

Voices pulled her from her slumber and she stirred herself from muddle dreams of swords and snow to find that she only recognized one of the voices. Opening her eyes confirmed she was alone in the room, tucked snuggly under two layers of blankets on a soft futon. Reaching into her memory, she drew up the events that had brought her to this place.

Kenshin had scolded her for not admitting to her exhaustion as she had promised she would, sweeping her into his arms where she was to remain for the duration of the journey. He had changed after their conversation about his past. She could feel it in the strength of his embrace. His eyes were a shade darker and he held her much tighter than necessary as if he were afraid she might fly away if he did not. And there in his arms she had fallen asleep yet again.

"I've been expecting you," a voice broke into her thoughts and she tried to concentrate on the underlying strength beneath the arrogance. "I knew you couldn't resist."

"You have heard, then." That was Kenshin, and his voice was even and strong, far from the gentle tone he used with her.

"I've seen the smoke. More than one village has burned by now. Someone came through looking for you. Obviously they found you."

"How did they know to come here?" Kenshin asked.

"They didn't. They ended up here by mistake."

"More than one?" Kaoru could envision the frown on his face and she understood. Eiji had been the only one to show at the cabin.

"Two. A hard-headed brute and a swordsman with eyes like yours."

Eyes like Kenshin? Who else has eyes like Kenshin, so soft and kind…no that isn't what the man meant. There were times when Kenshin's eyes darkened in shade almost as if they were about to change color and there was something cold and steely about them in that moment. They were the eyes of a swordsman, the eyes of …a manslayer.

"So they are involved now too," Kenshin spoke thoughtfully. "No one else came?"

There was silence and she imagined the other man to be shaking his head. "Obviously someone found you," he said.

"Yes," there was an edge to Kenshin's voice she didn't like just then and she imagined his eyes framed in a darker shade of violet.

"Am I supposed to talk you out of this?"

"No, master," Kenshin said softly and Kaoru blinked in surprise. This other man was he Kenshin's sensei?

"Good, because it would be a waste of my time. Now, what about the girl? She looks sick."

"I do not wish to place Miss Kaoru in any danger—"

"You want to leave her here then, is that it?" It was spoken gruffly and Kaoru wasn't so sure she wanted to stay with this man who obviously didn't want her around.

"She was the sole survivor of the first village attacked, master," Kenshin said and a slight pause followed.

"Wounded?"

"Her right shoulder, but it is healing well. She only needs rest and food and her strength will return quickly."

"Just as long as she doesn't try to tell me what to do," came the gruff reply.

"You will care for her then?" Kenshin asked in an almost boyish hopeful way.

His master scoffed. "Of course I will care for her. I can't very well let you take a woman down into that war, now can I? What, you think I'll break her?"

"I would not trust her to any other, master," Kenshin stated firmly.

There was a soft grunt in reply and Kaoru smirked slightly. Kenshin's master was a bit untraditional, that he was.

"You care about this one," the man spoke suddenly and Kaoru perked her ears up.

"She has no one else—"

"It's more than that. Your ki is saturated with it. She means something to you."

The silence that followed was agonizingly long followed by words that pierced her heart.

"I don't deserve her."

Kaoru felt tears spring to her eyes. Oh, Kenshin.

"Baka! Of course you don't deserve her," the older man snapped. "She's a woman. That alone puts her worlds above you. But all women fall in love with men unworthy of them. If they didn't, the human population would die out. So if by mercy one of those exalted creatures should ever fall in love with you, you would be a fool to let her get away."

Silence.

"Master, I've never heard you speak like this before."

"Yeah well, it's early and I haven't had any sake yet." Immediately there was the sound of a jug popping open and the quiet gulping of liquid followed by a pleasant sigh. "So, does she know who you really are?"

Kaoru frowned. What does he mean who Kenshin really is?

"I don't want her to know if she doesn't have to," Kenshin said softly.

"You think she won't understand," the older man stated gruffly.

"Most don't."

"You don't give her enough credit."

"I don't want her to get hurt," Kenshin replied.

His master snorted. "She survives an attack from murderers and thieves, wanders all the way up into the forbidden mountain alone and wounded, meets you and knowing your wonderful knack for conversation obviously knows next to nothing about you, and yet willingly follows you through a blizzard halfway down the mountain to a destination she is unaware of. Kenshin, you are such an idiot."

"Oro?"

Kaoru slapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the laughter that was fighting its way out. Never had she heard Kenshin sound so…so naïve.

"Perhaps you are right, master. Miss Kaoru is a strong woman, but still—"

"This one needs no protection from the Battousai," his master snapped forcefully and Kaoru shot straight up on the futon.

What?

"Master—"

"In any case, she will be safe here. Just make sure you say goodbye before you go. I don't want a weepy woman on my hands."

Kaoru rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to wake her," Kenshin spoke ever so polite.

"What are you talking about? She's already awake."

Kaoru's eyes widened like saucers. How-how did he know? In the awkward silence that followed she heard soft footsteps that could only belong to the red-haired rurouni coming towards her room. She turned her head towards the door expectantly, curling her hands nervously in the blankets draped over her lap.

The small shoji slid open and Kenshin's warm violet eyes settled upon her, softening noticeably.

"I'm pleased to see you awake, Miss Kaoru," he spoke cheerfully with his famous rurouni smile that promised to reveal nothing of his inner thoughts.

"Where are we, Kenshin?" she asked, silently hoping that he would forget about her eavesdropping.

"About a days journey from Yomiko village," he answered as he crossed the room and kneeled beside her. "You will be safe here, Miss Kaoru. Master Hiko will take good care of you."

"You're leaving me here?" she asked, her eyes wide and almost shattering the poor rurouni.

"Master Hiko is an honorable man, Miss Kaoru. I would trust no other with your safety," he replied.

Kaoru dropped her stare as tears began to well up into her eyes. "But what if you don't come back? I-I don't want to lose you too."

Kenshin reached out and gently cupped her chin, bringing her shimmering gaze back to his own. Is it possible? Could Master be right?

"I will always come for you, Kaoru," he swore fiercely. "And if I don't," his eyes began to glow with a strange light and Kaoru felt her heart flip. "Battousai will."

The question she would have asked died on her lips beneath the firm kiss he bestowed upon her. He sealed his promise with an emotion she had never sensed in him before, one she recognized only because it lived within her too.

"You should rest," he said softly when he pulled away, but his fingers lingered for a moment having found their way into her long raven tresses.

"When will you come back?" she asked as she looked up at him, refusing to accept the fact that she was very, very tired again.

"I do not know," he admitted as his hand settled on her shoulder and gently pushed her back to rest on the futon. "You must not worry yourself, Miss Kaoru."

Back to Miss Kaoru again? Everything about him had changed in but a flickering moment. He had been the gentle rurouni she always remembered, but there was something fierce within him, passionate and possessive, a shadow from the revolution. She had glimpsed it before, but now it was gone, hidden behind that innocent smile.

"Please be careful, Kenshin," she murmured softly as sleep began to tug at her eyes.

"I will," he promised and just before sleep claimed her, she felt the gentle brush of his lips across her forehead.