Disclaimer: As much as I would like to own Snape (in boxers, if available), I don't. BUT no one, and I mean no one, is taking my laptop away from me.
grr
I also don't own Bono or U2. And that just sucks.
Summary: Hermy/Snape. Tame plot with a few twists and turns along the way.
Rating: look, if you read the last chapter and are still here, do I really have to tell you?
A/N: One of my favourite songs on the CD is this one, 'Love And Peace Or Else'.
I don't quite know where to take this so far, it's getting a bit worn out.
OMG, I had to take down my wall of Johnny Depp articles yesterday, as we're moving soon. It's all so empty. cries!repeatedly
Hehe, just saw a bit of a kids TV show: "Say, what are you doing?" "I'm going to collect clouds!" "Ah, I see… Carry on."
Wtf?
Anyway, on with the chapter.
'Lay down
Lay down
Lay your sweet lovely on the ground
Lay your love on the track
We're gonna break the monster's back
Yes we are…'
Hermione's mind was racing as she came down from her high, slumped against Severus.
'I just lost my virginity to Snape on my kitchen sink' was the first thought that ran through her mind.
'And I enjoyed it' was the second. She felt she should feel more disgusted with herself, but it was hard to when you were coming down from a post orgasmic high resting on a sexy man. A very sexy man. Why didn't I see that Snape was sexy before? She asked herself. Screw it, she knew now.
'I just shagged Granger on her kitchen sink' was the first thought to come to Severus's mind as he panted and leant against her.
'And I enjoyed it' was the second. He had just screwed the bane of his existence, the little know-it-all who tormented him as a child, took her virginity. And against the kitchen sink?
Well, you couldn't say it was ordinary.
"Severus…" she whispered against his shoulder, and opened her eyes at letting that slip.
He looked down at her and smiled slightly, picking her up off the sink and lowering her. She leant against him heavily until she got her footing, then let go.
"I- I-" she started, but couldn't find the right words.
"I'm sorry." Said Severus, sadness in his eyes. "I shouldn't have done that. You weren't in any state to do that." On closer inspection, she could also see guilt and shame in his onyx eyes.
"No! No, Severus, I'm glad, I'm so, so glad…" she assured him, pulling him close and kissing him. "So, so, so glad." She kissed him in between each word. "Can we… Um, can we go to bed? It's just a little uncomfortable on there…" she smiled.
He looked at her and saw she wasn't upset, or guilty, or ashamed or disgusted or any of the things he thought she would be. He let burst a grin, the first real grin she'd ever seen him wear, and picked her up, carrying her into the bedroom.
----- 'I don't know if I can take it' -----
"Good god, woman, are you trying to kill me?" he asked as she sat on top him again.
"Come on, Sevvy! You got me into this. You're the one that said it felt better than what I was doing before." She smirked.
"And is it?" he asked.
"Well, this is. I don't know about sex with anyone else though… Maybe I should go and experiment, see if you're up to standard…" she teased.
"You wouldn't dare." He growled.
"Oh wouldn't I? I can play Ice Maiden with you if I want to, Snape." She said coolly.
"But do you want to?" he asked.
"Nope." She kissed him again, hands roaming.
"No, Hermione, please. Anymore and I'll be killed." He groaned.
She gave a short snort of laughter. "Okay then… But tomorrow night, you are so in for it." She said, rolling off him and onto her back.
"Who said anything about night? We have the whole day to ourselves…" he smirked, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he lay on his back.
She laughed. "Only a few hours ago I'd never had sex. And now I'm practically addicted to it. Or you. Or both." She grinned.
"Well, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition."
----- 'I'm not easy on my knees' -----
"Ginny! Ginny, are you there?" Hermione called, walking through the cramped apartment belonging to the youngest Weasley.
"In the kitchen!" she yelled back, and Hermione made her way through the mess to the kitchen.
"Hey Gin…" she said in greeting.
"Hermy!" she squealed, running over to see her.
"Ginny, you saw me a few days ago!" she laughed, hugging the redhead.
"I know, I know… But it seems like I never see you any more…" she sighed.
"Macaroni cheese?" she asked Hermione, heading back over to the pot on the stove.
"Don't mind if I do. I haven't had lunch yet." Hermione agreed, sitting down at the small wooden table.
"Honestly, no wonder you can't get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or whatever…" Hermione said, looking around. "The place is a pigsty!"
"Ta." Ginny said dryly, placing a dish of pasta in front of her friend with a fork.
Hermione just shook her head and dug in.
"Jeez, you're hungry. Looks like someone was active last night!" she joked, and Hermione blushed. "No, shit, you were? Ohmigod!" she squealed. "But wait, aren't you a virgin?" she asked suddenly. Hermione laughed inwardly at how blunt Ginny always was. It was refreshing.
"I was. Until last night." She blushed further.
"Who?" asked Ginny excitedly.
Hermione took a deep breath. "Snape."
Ginny burst out laughing. "Harry owes me ten galleons!" she guffawed.
"What? You made bets on me?" she asked indignantly.
"Yes, on who'd deflower Granger first. I said it'd be him- there's something about him, and you were all over him at the pub. Harry was still sure that Seamus, the man-whore that he is, would bed you first." She explained.
"That's sick…" she said, grimacing at the thought.
"Anyway, how was he?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Good," Hermione blushed even further, one to rival a Weasley blush. "Very good. Very, very, very, extraordinarily, amazingly good." She closed her eyes in bliss. "Good god that man can screw."
Ginny stared at her in awe. "You lucky bitch." She said enviously. "So, in his rooms or yours? Or in the supply closet?" she teased.
"My rooms. On the sink…" she grinned.
"The sink? Ohmigod, that's cool. Now you shall be forever known as the the girl who lost her virginity on the kitchen sink. Or Kinky Sink. That sounds better, catchy." Laughed Ginny.
"Oh, it was great. And then we went to my bedroom and, Ginny- three times." She gushed.
Ginny stared at her in shock. "You slut!" she laughed.
"Hey, it was only one man!" she replied indignantly. "But oh… Oh Ginny, it was amazing. And he wasn't like usual, all snarly and all, he was nice. He grinned. The first real grin I've ever seen him give." She sighed happily.
"I still can't get overt he fact that you did it on the sink!" Ginny said.
"Ginny, we've moved on in the conversation…" prompted Hermione.
"The sink!" she gasped.
"Ginny! Can we move on now?" asked Hermione.
Ginny snapped out of her sink-hallucination-induced reverie and looked back at Hermione.
"So, why aren't you going at it like bunnies now? It's Sunday." Asked Ginny.
"Yeah, but he got called to Dumbledore's office, and their conversations usually take hours, so I thought I'd come and see you." She explained.
"Oh, so now I'm second choice to Snape?" Ginny replied haughtily.
"No. You're second choice to amazing sex with Snape all around my rooms. And you come very close to that one. I'm sure if we had amazing sex, you'd be up first preference, but I'm afraid we aren't and probably are never going to. Thank god. How much would that screw up our friendship?" they both laughed.
"Yes, see, at least there's no friendship to screw up with Snape. But you do work together." Ginny said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, well, we'll see where we go… Anyway, I must get back. He should be back any time now and I don't want to waste a minute. Tomorrow's Monday, so we can't stay up too late without having suspiciously baggy eyes in the morning. I just know the students are speculating about their two absent members of staff from meal times already…" she said worriedly.
"I doubt it. The idea's too unrealistic. Snape and Granger." She laughed. "It's like that thing those strange people on the muggle television say:"
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" they said together and burst out laughing.
"I'll go now, before I get stuck in some other conversation with you. We could go on for hours, we could." Laughed Hermione.
"Okay. Well, we'll catch up later, yeah?" Ginny asked, hugging her friend goodbye.
"Definitely." She said, and the last thing she saw before she apparated back to the outskirts of Hogwarts was Ginny looking wistfully at the kitchen sink.
----- 'Here's my heart, you can break it' -----
"Hello stranger." She said, coming up behind Severus as he sat in a chair in his lounge room reading through the parchment on the verita ilixir again.
She leant over the back of the chair and rested her chin on his head.
"If you're getting… cuddly on me, I will have to rethink this." He warned, not looking up from the papers.
"Say that again." She laughed.
"God, not again…" he sighed.
"Not that one. Say cuddle." She grinned.
"No." he objected.
"Pleeease? I don't know when I'm ever going to hear you say that again." She said, coming round to face him.
"No." he said again, still perusing the parchment.
She took them out of his hands and put them on the mantle, sitting on his lap, straddling his lips so she could face him.
"I can think of more… productive ways to spend our time than that potion…" she said slyly, starting to unbutton his shirt.
"Good god, I've created a monster." He said as she continued her ministrations.
She pulled it off and looked up at him.
"What?" she asked.
He just shook his head. "Nothing. I just never thought I'd be sitting here with Hermione Granger on my lap proceeding to remove me of my, and her, clothing."
"Yes, well, no one expects the Sp-" she was cut off by him kissing her, imitating her previous actions on her shirt.
----- 'I need some release, release, release, release…' -----
"Hermione? Hermione, are you in there?" Harry couldn't believe he was knocking on Snape's door looking for Hermione.
"Potter?" asked Snape, halfway through unbuttoning Hermione's pants. "Why Potter?" he cried.
She just laughed. "Maybe if we're quiet enough he won't know we're hear." She giggled.
She kissed him again, stifling her giggles against his mouth. He resumed undoing her pants and she had to bite her hand to keep from making a noise.
She started kissing his neck, working on pulling his shirt off while staying sitting in the chair.
They managed to successfully fall out of the chair with a loud thump, and Hermione biting his shoulder- hard- in an attempt to stop laughing. He yelped and they heard Harry knock on the door again.
"Hermione! Hermione, I know you're in there, Dumbledore's clock said so!" he yelled, pounding on the door.
Hermione was in near hysterics.
"Hermione, you should answer it." Snape hissed, standing up and picking up his shirt.
She attempted to compose herself and pulled on her pants and shirt, fixing her hair.
He kissed her again and she started laughing again. "Go! Go on!" she grinned, pushing him through the door to the potions lab.
She breathed deeply and opened the door, smiling serenely at Harry.
"Hermione! Thank god! I thought Snape'd kidnapped you or something!" he laughed, hugging her.
"Um, no, we were just, um… potions! Yes, we were giving blood for a potion, that's all. I yelped, that's probably what you heard." She assured him.
He looked at her suspiciously. "Why are you in here, then? Shouldn't you be in the lab?" he asked.
"Um, he has an alarm, yeah. It goes off when someone knocks on his door, and he sent me to check who was here." She said.
"How'd you get here without me seeing you?" he asked, confused.
"Floo. I fell out of the fire, you probably heard a someone fall over." She assured him.
"Oh." He looked at her uncertainly.
"So, what did you want?" she asked.
"I was wondering if you knew about the Marriage Law being put into place." He said.
"No, no I didn't. Here, come in." she said, opening the door. "So, why's it being passed? How? When?"
"Lucius Malfoy. He's bribed the Minister, got him to pass the law. It should be announced in the Prophet any day now." He answered.
"But- but- He can't just do that! There are rules- Human rights- and he can't just do this! They can't let him!" she spluttered angrily.
"They can and they have. Dumbledore's got some plans for the witches married off, Order members going to Death Eaters, but there's nothing else he can do." Harry said sadly.
"That's totally unjust, making muggleborn witches marry off, but not muggleborn wizards. It's like having to win the bloody vote all over again!" she fumed.
"I know, it's totally unfair. But Dumbledore says we have to just go along, not cause a stir until we work out a plan of action." Harry said.
She growled in frustration. "No! He can't bloody do that! It's so- so-"
"Unfair? Bad? Horrible?" he supplied.
"Fucked up." She finished angrily.
"Look, 'Mione, I've gotta go. Work stuff and all. But I'll floo, or owl, or whatever. Don't get too down, okay?" he asked, hugging her.
"No, don't worry. I'll be okay." She said into his shoulder.
He opened the door and turned back to her.
"I love you, 'Mione. See ya." He smiled.
"Love you too, Harry." She smiled back and he left, shutting the door behind him.
He smile turned to an dangerously thin line, her eyes glaring around her.
"You are so dead now, Snape." She hissed to herself as she strode along the passage to the lab.
She flung the door open and it slammed loudly against the stone wall. Severus looked up from where he was preparing some of the ingredients for the potion.
"Severus Snape, why did you not tell me about the Marriage Law being passed?" she said, dangerously quiet.
He dropped the knife he was using and froze.
"Is that what Potter told you?" he asked quietly.
"You're avoiding the question." She said, moving over so she was standing just inches away from him. "Why didn't you tell me?" she prodded him in the chest with her forefinger.
"I talked with Dumbledore about it yesterday, then I came back and found you in the bathroom, and it really wasn't what was on my mind when I saw your arms. Then, well, there were other things to do- several times, I might add- and then I left this morning before you'd woken up." He explained, looking at her nervously.
"And before Harry arrived." She asked viciously.
"Yet again, we both had other things on our minds." He smirked.
"Don't think you're off the bloody hook, Snape." She fumed throwing herself down in a chair. "Now I have to go and marry some old man, some Death Eater, probably, and have children with someone I don't even like, let alone love, and that means that we're over, just when something was bloody going right!" she said, some of her frustration being replaced by sadness.
"Hermione," he said, crouching down next to her. "You do know that I'm a pureblood, don't you?" he asked her quietly.
"Yes, but what does that- Oh my… We could get married…" she said slowly.
He nodded. "But, I don't want to pressure you into anything. I mean, neither of us are ready for marriage, but the option is there." He said.
She nodded. "Thank you." She said turning to him.
"For what?" he asked frowning.
"For that. For being you." She said. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather marry." She gave a small smile and kissed him on the lips. "So if this law is passed, I think I've got the best deal." She laughed.
"Like Brian said: Always look on the bright side of life." He said.
She laughed. "How do you know about Monty Python, anyway?" she asked, standing up.
"Dumbledore. He had these bloody muggle video nights for weeks, made us watch cult and popular films. Shocking…" he shook his head.
"What movies?" she asked as they made their way back to his rooms.
"Well, most of the Monty Python ones. Then some classics- Gone With The Wind and Doctor Zhivago." He shuddered. "And cults, like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Lots of Shakespearean ones, Romeo and Juliet and the like. Plus musical. God, how he loved musicals…" he said darkly.
Hermione laughed. "Like?"
"Well, Rocky Horror, for one. And Moulin Rouge, Chicago, you know the ones… I must say, The Lord Of The Rings wasn't bad, though." He said.
"Have you read the books?" she asked excitedly.
"No, but I'm sure you have." He said.
She nodded. "Who was your favourite character?" she asked.
"Well, Aragorn was good. Gimli was also amusing at times." He answered, holding the door to his quarters open for her. "And yourself?"
"I always had a soft spot for Pippin, but Aragorn was dead sexy in the movies." She grinned.
He tried to look offended. "Well, I know when I'm not wanted. Maybe I'll just leave you and Aragorn alone and go work on that potion." He said haughtily.
She grabbed his collar and pulled him in close. "Don't you dare…" she whispered.
'We needLove and peace
Love and peace'Well, looking back at it, that was craptacular. Sorry for wasting any time, but I p-r-o-m-i-s-e the next one will be better.
Promise.
A/N: His views on Gone With The Wind and Doctor Zhivago are not my own. Have never seen either, though one of my best friends and my mum adore DZ, so perhaps I should take a look.
But Hermy's view on LOTR characters are my own. I love Pippin. PIPPIN PIPPIN PIPPIN (Frodo! Ah cannae ge' ou' the toile'! (Yes, I get worried at how easily I can slip into the mental state of him as well…)) cough Plus, Aragorn does look dead sexy. Viggo is dead sexy. OMG, dreams of A Perfect Murder Viggo…. But Lara, he's all yours.
I have Depp. Johnny Depp.
MWAHAHAHA.
Oh, and buy the flipping CD already, will you?
Toodloo.