A/N: My best guesses on yet another character. I'm doing this because it intrigued a few of you, and it caught my imagination. I'm reasonably sure I got my facts right, and this is the only way I could understand this decision. On with the drabble!
Disclaimer: Massive spoilers for A Hole In The World and beyond.
XXX
The Assistant
My whole life I've had people telling me I'm special, I'm smart, I'm brilliant. My whole life I've had people telling me God loves me no matter what. My whole life, people have been lying to me.
I didn't realise at first. I mean, how could I? Everyone was telling me the same thing, and I hadn't heard anything different so I believed it. I was thirteen when I realised. My grandfather died when I was thirteen, and I went to his funeral. It was open casket.
I looked at him, the corpse. Everyone was crying and sad but I didn't know him that well so, y'know. But I got to thinking. We're nothing. Just fragile souls in biological machinery. We're not special, not smart, not brilliant. We're not good, or evil, or anything so grandiose as all that. We're just small, insignificant. God didn't love us. God didn't exist. Why would something perfect deign to notice our existence, let alone love us?
So I started looking. There had to be something to believe in. For a while, I thought it might be science. Science, though, is just a tool. A means to an end. Think of an end, and you'll be able to use science to get there eventually. It's full of hows, but it doesn't answer why, doesn't give a real meaning. Believing in science would be like believing in hammers. You don't believe in tools.
I kept looking. Eventually, I found It. It was amazing, beautiful, horrible, terrifying, awesome. It was great and vast, so beyond me that there was no comparison. It didn't love me, or hate me, or notice me, or ignore me. It didn't care if I loved It, or feared It, or hated It. It wasn't perfect. Perfect had no meaning to It. It simply was, and that was more than enough for It.
That's why it has to be Fred. She's perfect. Warm, and beautiful, inside and out. She epitomises everything great about humanity. She's goodness and light and kindness. She is wonderful and loving and smart and special and brilliant. If God existed, he'd love her more than anyone else. Whenever I see her, my heart swells and I feel like I can do anything, be anything.
That's why it has to be Fred. No one else in this entire world, not even me, is even close to being worthy of It except her. Only her.
XXX
A/N: I think I made it clear enough, but just in case this was from Knox's perspective. I don't think he was as evil as he seemed, and tried to express it. To me, it seemed as though it was how he expressed his love (even though he deserves all our hate for what he did - regardless of our feelings for Illyria, Fred deserved better and so did Wes). Still, let me know what you think in a REVIEW.