Disclaimer: I do not own Snape, Harry, Dumblydore, or anything else relating to Harry Potter. /sigh/ I don't think I actually own anything, except for a few books.

A/N: Right. I am well aware of the fact that this story sucks. I kinda stopped it 'cause I ran out of ideas. /smacks face/ That's pretty sad, no? Well. Review if you want to, though especially if you want another chapter, because otherwise I don't think I'll write another one. Right...Bye

Severus Snape knew he wasn't beautiful. He knew that he was too tall, too thin—skinny—too sallow. He knew that his hooked nose was prominent—like an owls beak—and his hair was too greasy. He also knew that he had no qualities to redeem his bad looks. He was callous and cynical; he liked to brood in dark corners and sneer at people who fancied the challenge of coercing him into a conversation.

Harry Potter knew he wasn't handsome. He knew that he was too short, too slender, too feminine. He knew that his hair was too messy and his eyes too green. He also knew that he was too much trouble. He was foolhardy and had a hero complex; he just couldn't except that not everyone needed to be saved by him, and he had no trouble believing that if he had just been a little faster, a little braver, he could have saved another life.

Albus Dumbledore smiled serenely over his half-moon spectacles at the Boy-Who-Lived before shuffling the papers in front of him importantly. "Harry my boy! I knew that you wouldn't be able to stay away for long!" Harry ducked his head shyly before grinning hesitantly at the Headmaster. "So," continued Albus, "You wanted to know what teaching positions were open?" At Harry's nod Dumbledore looked down at the papers. "Hm…Well, let's see. Professor Sprout was thinking of retiring this year.." He looked expectantly at Harry.

"Er." replied Harry. "I was never very good at herbology, that was more Neville's cup of tea."

"Ah yes, Mr. Longbottom did have a gift for the flora and fauna." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps I will see what he is up to….But back to you."

"Potter always was more trouble than he was worth." interrupted a silky drawl from the doorway. Harry started and turned quickly to scowl at his former Potions professor. Dumbledore's smile widened.

"Professor Snape! What a pleasant surprise!" Ignoring Harry's snort, Dumbledore continued, "Whatever can I do for you? Tea, lemon drop?"

Snape glided into the room before standing directly behind Harry. "No thank you, Headmaster, I'll only intrude upon your time for a moment. I was wondering if-"

"Ah!" interrupted the Headmaster, "I've got it! Severus, weren't you looking for an assistant in your lab? Harry can do it!" he finished gleefully. Harry's mouth dropped open as Snape glared at his employer.

"No, actually, I wasn't looking for a lab assistant. I believe you just made that up right this moment. And even if I was looking for a lab assistant, why would I hire Potter for the job! He is completely abysmal at potions." Snape sneered.

"Come now, Severus! It would be fun!" At Snapes blank look Albus continued. "Well, Severus, you don't have to use him as a lab assistant! He could..well…grade your papers. Sort of like the Muggle student-teachers!"

"Why doesn't he become a…student-teacher for one of the other professors?" questioned Snape.

"Yeah!" Harry added. "I really am awful at potions! Why can't a get a job with … Well, anyone other than him?"

Dumbledore looked over his glasses sternly at the pair. "That is exactly why I think you two should work together! You need to get out of this petty childishness. But, since I am such a kind man-" Once again he ignored the snorts coming from both. "I will not force you to work together." The weary tone his voice had taken on was not entirely faked.

Snape and Harry looked at each other guiltily. Dumbledore hid a smile beneath his beard.

Harry heaved a hefty sigh. "I guess I'll do it. If-if he will agree to it." Snape considered Harry for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"Excellent!" cried Dumbledore. "We'll get you set up right away, Harry!" Snape covered his eyes with his hand as Harry gulped. What had they gotten themselves into?