((Me: Sam met be a little out of character))
How to Tell If Your Guide Is a Psychopath
By Samwise Gamgee
"Hi! I'm Sam, as you know Mr. Frodo and I had a guide to help us get to Mordor. But there was something about our guide we didn't know. Well, actually I did, but Mr. Frodo didn't believe me. What we didn't know about our guide was (drum roll) he was a psychopath, who had gone mad because of a ring. To help you on your travels and to keep you safe from psychopaths, here are a couple of tips to see if your guide is a psychopath:
(Note: if any one of these tips applies to you call this number: 1-800-I-JUST-WASTED-MY-MONEY-ON-THIS-PHONE-CALL-THAT-DIDN'T-ACTUALLY-HELP-ME-AT-ALL. That is all.)
1. His/her name is Golem
2. He/she talks to his/herself
3. He/she has split personalities
4. He/she wants something you have
5. He/she has been harmed by one of your family
6. Your family has taken something of his/hers
7. He/she is leading you along a path/road that you have never heard of or creeps you out
There you are seven great tips. I hope you have a fun time on your trip, and remember make a checklist, don't go with a psychopath.
((Me: starts clapping and screaming "Go Sam" at the top of her lungs
Me: has stopped screaming and clapping "Hello I hoped you liked this chapter. Bye for now I hope"))