Konnichi-wa! ROD is here with the next chapter of "Crap to the Future", but first, I would like to address an anonymous review I got.
Generic reviewer: Number one- You're making yourself sound like a fool calling someone a twit. Secondly, this is my way of letting out my anger toward 4Kids for taking off Shaman King, I have nothing against them except the fact that they change perfectly fine anime and make it child-friendly. And if you were a true Shaman King fanatic, like me, you would be just as upset; so you just stick to Pokemon, where Ash has been ten years old for the past 6 years, and Yugioh, that has lost all appeal to me since the beginning of the third season, and let me do my thing, thank you. And about that "go to hell" thing, you'll be there first. Trust…
Now that that's out of the way, on with the fic!
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Crap to the Future
By: Raikku of the Darkness
Chapter One: Old Friends, Same Shit
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Horo gaped at the newspaper. 4Kids TV takes Over World. He couldn't believe it. How could this happen? How far in time had he gone?
He sat down on a steel beam, dropping the paper from his hand. "What am I gonna do?" he thought to himself. He knew the En Inn was gone, he didn't even need to see it. But what about his friends? Yoh, Anna, Raye, Ryu, Tamao, Ren, Faust, Chocolove, Lyserg…and Pirika. What was he going to do? So he stood up and did the only thing he could do…run around, screaming, in a circle.
"HOLY-CRAP! HOLY-CRAP! HOLY-CRAP!" the Ainu screamed over and over. He did this for a good five minutes until he heard a familiar voice.
"Kuru?" Horo looked to see Kororo, the Koropokkur, looking up at him with her big brown eyes.
"Kororo!" he said, cupping her in his hands. "I forgot I had you with me." Horo ruffled her black hair and she giggled in return. Honestly, how could her forget about his best friend in the whole world!
The blue haired shaman dusted off his clothes. "Well, I guess we should try to find someone to help us." He looked to the chamber pot. "We can't forget this…I may need it again."
And so, Horo-Horo, the Ainu with a heart of gold and a stomach the size of a small country, began his trudge across the grim future he had been transported to by a cursed toilet, not knowing where to go, his purpose, or where his next meal would be coming from. He and his guardian ghost traveled for two hours until…
"Kuru!" Kororo exclaimed, pointing to something in the distance.
"What is it?" Horo asked her. The small spirit flew forward and her master followed her into what looked like a small garden. The Ainu saw Kororo stop near a figure kneeling near a green bush.
"Kororo?" the figure yelled, her voice filled with surprise.
"Kuru! Kuru" the spirit exclaimed, leaping into the arms of the person.
Horo ran up. "Kororo! What are you-" the figure turned around. A pair of familiar brown eyes and long blue hair looked into his own…Pirika.
"Oniisan?" her quivering voice asked.
"Pirika!"
"Oniisan!" She leaped into his arms, sobbing. "We thought you were missing!"
"What are you talking about?" Horo asked. Pirika stood back up, wiping her eyes.
"We can talk about this later," she began, grabbing her brother's hand. "We have to tell everyone you're back!"
With that, Pirika turned and began pulling him into a small opening in the mists of a pile of rubble. She push a large block of wood out of the way, revealing a door. They entered a long, dark hallway lightened by the occasional candle. It seemed like the brother and sister walked a mile (to him) before they reached another door, heavier this time, so they both pushed it opened.
"Hey, Pirika, you're back?" a girl with long black hair said walking toward them. She hugged girl tightly, not noticing Horo-Horo behind her.
"Did you get the stuff?" she asked.
Pirika shook her head. "No, I got something better!" her brother stepped from the shadows.
"Horo-Horo!" she exclaimed.
"Hey, Rayna…" he waved. Rayna moved in close, as if to hug him. NOT! She punched him in the arm, knocking the wind out of him.
"Where have you been? We needed you!"
"But, I-"
"But nothing! We need you and Kororo to fight those 4Kid-drones! But, nooo! You didn't come back from taking a crap! How hard is it to squat, push, and flush? Not very!" the girl ended, crossing her arms. Horo was about to answer when something hit him in the head.
"Yeah!" Pirika exclaimed. "Where were you!"
"Uh…" Horo began to panic. How was he going to explain a time-traveling chamber pot to two very homicidal girls? "Well, you see. What had happen was-"
Rayna through up her hands. "I give up! You're about to lie!"
"Raye." the younger girl interrupted. "Let's just tell everyone we found him." Pirika grabbed her hand. "Then, we can kill him."
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It had been about an hour since our favorite ice shaman was found by his sister, Pirika, and nearly killed by his friend, Rayna. After the events in the doorway, Rayna and Pirika reintroduced Horo-Horo to the remaining members of the Asakura-tachi: Yoh, who's hair was even more unruly, if possible, under the watch of Anna, attitude and all. Ren, who was still a pompous jackass but was a bit more tame since Raye had him whipped like the family dog. Faust, Lyserg, and Tamao were all still there and to his shock, so was Hao Asakura, twin brother of Yoh and fallen shaman dictator.
"YOU!" Horo screamed, pointing a incriminating finger at Hao, who looked at him as if he were wearing ladies' underwear on his head.
"Yes, I'm me." the shaman began, nonchalantly. "But you are?"
"Don't you play coy with me, Hao! You will not attack my friends!"
"Horo," Yoh sighed. "Hao isn't our enemy; he's an ally against 4Kids."
"Yes, Horo-Horo. Maybe we should inform him of what's happened, eh, Yoh-san?" Faust added.
Ren grinned. "Yeah, Yoh. But be sure to use small words for him."
"You know what, you son-of-a-"
"Children, please!" Rayna exclaimed. "Just come on."
The group began to walked toward the "sitting room" of the underground fortress, but the blue-haired shaman turned back toward the twin of his best friend.
"I'll be watching you…" he said, glaring at Hao. "Those outrages you done to us have not been forgotten! I haven't forgotten…those outrages! No, NO! No, I have not forgotten! Not the out-"
"Yeah, yeah. 'Outrages'…I think you've made that clear."
"Damn you."
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Thanks for reading! Please review!