Don't Drink the Water…part thirteen

McKay and Sheppard stepped through the gate, greeting the waiting Iskalan's with cheery smiles, no matter how forced they may be, that eased the tension in the welcoming party. They were back to pick up the eskalab beans, a milk run, and they both knew it.

"It is nice to see that the Haema did not do any lasting damage, Major Sheppard," said Jeram. "We did not realize it would be dangerous to your people."

Sheppard couldn't blame the guy, and aside from that last trip, it did have its moments. "It's not your fault, Jeram. Don't worry about it."

"We had fun there for a while," rejoined McKay, for once being polite instead of abrasive, but Sheppard had a hunch he was recalling the shaving cream spilling over Elizabeth Weir's head, and the fact they'd gotten by without so much as a stern look. One of the perks of taking a ride on the wild side of a Pegasus galaxy drink that could rival any powerful earth drug.

Jeram was beaming with relief, but his next words caused the grins to fall from John and Rodney's face. "That is wonderful news. My daughters are anxious to see you both again!" He extended his hand, indicating for the two men to take the lead. "Come, let us go and visit before you must return."

OoO

It hadn't taken long, at least not to the two men dreading the daughter's visit, to reach the village. Ailyn and Seleya were indeed delighted to see them, and proceeded to spend the next two hours fawning over the men, and copiously groping with each opportunity.

After the two hours were up, and they'd enjoyed a different drink, this time a Tamuree, made for the children and identified as safe, they made their polite excuses, secured the cargo for transport and informed Jeram they'd be back with a vehicle to take the eskalab back to Atlantis.

They headed back on the path to the gate, neither looking forward to the five mile trip, and thinking that it wouldn't go near as fast as the trip to the village had. Amazing that when you dread something, time seems to speed up in an infinitesimal way, bringing that painful moment to hand.

"So, did Seleya get you in the crotch?" asked Sheppard casually.

McKay spluttered some of the Tamuree he was drinking in a portable cup the Iskalan's had provided for the two. "Major!"

Sheppard grinned innocently. "Please, the way she was on you, I'm surprised you two didn't go off and find a hut somewhere."

McKay stopped, and pointed a finger at Sheppard. "Let's get something straight, Captain Kirk, the only one in that room in need of privacy was you. I swear I saw tongue," he said disgustedly.

"Tongue?" Sheppard repeated with mock horror. "I'm sure I saw your hand going places it shouldn't have."

"You were looking?"

"No, I wasn't looking," said Sheppard, and he was already starting to laugh. "I made that one up!"

McKay gave Sheppard a shove, and stormed off towards the gate. "You're an ass, you know that?"

Sheppard continued to grin. "So I've been told."

They fell quiet, the easy camaraderie feeling good after the tense moments after they'd recovered from the Haema. John took a drink of his Tamuree, and a thought occurred to him. He capped it, and smiled up at McKay.

Rodney looked over at John, "Oh no, what?"

Sheppard kept the innocent look plastered on his face. "It's nothing…bad."

"You've got that look on your face, the same one as when you filled that glove with shaving cream," remembered McKay. "And who took the blame for that?"

Sheppard considered it. "Neither of us, remember? She figured we were too far under the influence to be blamed."

"Oh, right." McKay crinkled his forehead. "Still, this can't be good."

"Well, you see, we've got this stuff the Iskalans gave us," Sheppard held up his jug of Tamuree. "I was thinking, we could pull of a practical joke, you know…lighten the mood."

McKay frowned. "Who is the intended victim?"

"Weir…mostly. Beckett, possibly."

"What do you want me to do?" sighed McKay. In for a penny, in for a pound…

OoO

"Incoming wormhole…it's Major Sheppard," Grodin announced.

Elizabeth Weir looked over the balcony, at the gate. "Lower the shield," she ordered.

No sooner than Peter had lowered the shield, did McKay and John stumble through…singing. It was another horrid rendition of row, row, row your boat, and they were swaying alarmingly.

She felt her stomach rise to her throat. They couldn't have! Not again, knowing it was dangerous. "Get a medical team up here, stat!" she ordered rushed down the stairs.

"Major, Doctor! Explain yourselves!" She was standing in front of the two men, who'd stopped their forward progress when she'd blocked their path. They appeared bleary-eyed, and euphoric. And both were drinking out of some kind of Iskalan canteen.

"We had a great time, Elizabeth," slurred Rodney, grinning widely.

Sheppard removed a hand from McKay's back, and clapped the other over Weirs back, pulling her in tight. "We sure did, those Iskabobs sure can throw a party!"

Weir extracted herself from Sheppard, which sent him stumbling to the ground, and he dragged McKay with him, the two landing in an undignified heap. McKay uttered a pleased belch, and grinned wider. "And the women are…"

Sheppard slugged him, "Not so much," he hissed. Then put on a sloppy smile. "We brought back extra this time, want some?" He was slurring his words just enough to sound inebriated, but understandable.

It was at that moment that Carson arrived, with Ford, Bates and a few other security men armed with stunners. He took one look at the pair, and rolled his eyes. "Not again, you two," he muttered, before kneeling near Sheppard.

Elizabeth was probably angrier than Sheppard had seen before, and he was fast getting the feeling it was time to end this little joke. "Uh, actually, it was just a little prank," and he stood up, swaying a bit because he slipped on some of the Tamuree that had spilled out of his jug when he'd fallen into McKay, a previously discussed display.

Rodney realized the gig was up as well. "Actually, the drink in here is perfectly safe." He held up his jug, and tried to get to his feet, failing to realize it was slippery, and he fell back on his rear, hard.

John frowned, realizing this wasn't doing a lot to aid their situation. Elizabeth looked like she'd believe the sky was red before believing they were only joking. "Really, I swear. We thought it'd be funny…"

"To what, Major? Act drunk, and high off the same drink that sent you two flying higher than a kite for days last week, and had half the city in an uproar?"

Sheppard swallowed. "Well, when you put it that way…"

McKay was remaining suspiciously quiet. Elizabeth pegged them with a cold, calculating glare, and it was at that moment they both realized the shaving cream incident hadn't entirely been forgotten. "Doctor Beckett, I believe you have tests to run on these two?" she said, pointedly not looking at either one.

Beckett looked at Sheppard and McKay, and then back at Weir, and she fixed him with a look that said it all. He coughed awkwardly, "Aye, I'll run some tests, and they'll have to be restrained, you know…can't have them running willy nilly through Atlantis like last time, can we now?"

"We certainly can't," Weir agreed emphatically. She turned to head back to her office, leaving Sheppard and McKay with their mouths gaped open. "Oh, and Carson, don't wear yourself out in rushing this, it's not a matter of urgency."

With that last hit she headed back up the stairs. Sheppard and McKay recovered, and started backing away from the security team. McKay eyed the stunners nervously. "You wouldn't…"

Beckett was enjoying the situation too much. "I wouldn't, but they would," he smiled, indicating the security guards that they'd maimed in their previous escape attempt.

Sheppard realized then that he'd made a critical error in judgment. "I think we'd better go, now," he said, holding his hands up in resignation. "Let's not be hasty, guys." He wasn't going to risk being stunned. That sucked, pins and needles weren't an exaggeration.

They started walking to the infirmary, and McKay was glaring death in his eyes every time Sheppard looked over. "Would you stop that, how was I to know she'd react like that?"

"Because, Major…"

"Oh right, I'm all knowing, sorry, you took the job first, McKay," Sheppard hissed.

"Look, why don't we make a run for it, hide out in the Jumper, or something?" whispered McKay. Maybe if they hid out for long enough, they'd get tired of waiting, and put away the needles and restraints.

Sheppard was about to say maybe that wasn't such a bad idea, when a prod from a stunner in his back made him realize the error of his ways. "Too late," he said back.