Disclaimer - Final Fantasy 8 does not belong to me

The Way She Is

Chapter One - The Absent Mind

She stood tapping her foot to an unheard rhythm and absentmindedly biting the nail of her pinky finger. With her other hand she was holding worn sheet of paper. Her eyes bore down hoping that maybe her dream of becoming a superhero would come true.

She had wanted to save people but here was proof that she couldn't even do that.

"Selphie?" Irvine asked hesitantly to his best friend. Walking into her dorm room, he asked hesitantly, "Is everything all right?"

She hastily folded the paper and shoved it into the back pocket of her yellow sun dress. A smile appeared on her face. She wore her best bright, happy smile. Only the tall, brown haired man would be able to see through it. He knew her too well. "Irvine! I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?"

He leaned against the doorframe and spoke, "You tell me. You haven't been yourself lately."

You haven't either, She thought to herself but said out loud, "Silly Irvine!" She laughed airily yet behind it he could tell it was forced. She walked lightly over to him and ducked by him and out the door, "Bye-bye Irvy!"

Selphie continued down the hall. She needed to talk to Quistis. A year ago she would have gone to Irvine with her problems but things had changed between them. After Rinoa had left, Squall had sunken into depression and being Selphie; she couldn't bare to see him that sad. She decided to cheer him up. It had taken a lot of patience and time to get through his ice exterior but when she finally did, they became close. This had put a strain on Irvine's and Selphie's relationship, along with Irvine's and Squall's. Selphie didn't get this and now turned to Quistis for advice and support.

She came to Quisty's room. No one was there. Quisty where are you? I need you. Selphie walked back into the middle of the hall and looked back. She wondered if Irvine was still at her door…

"Selph!"

Selphie turned to see Squall walking towards her. He wore one of his rare smiles which often came in her presence. The smile faltered a little when he saw her expression. He asked, "What's wrong?" He came to a stop before her.

"Umm…I…nothing! I just was looking for Quistis. She's not here…" Tiers were threatening to spill but she forced another one of her fake smiles. This smile didn't reach her eyes at all.

"Selphie…" Squall reached for her hand.

"No!" She said loudly making several people stop and look at the pair of them. She lowered her voice, "I need to talk to Quisty." Her voice broke and began to waver.

He stared at her as if reading her thoughts then seemed to give in, "I saw her in one of the classrooms."

"Thank you," She said as she started to run towards the classrooms.

When Selphie reached the classrooms she opened the first door stealthily. Sure enough, there Professor Quistis Trepe sat grading papers. She had gotten her position back shortly after the sorceress wars.

The beautiful blonde looked up; obviously Selphie's attempt to be quiet didn't work. Surprise was written on Quistis's face when she asked, "Selphie? Is something wrong?"

Selphie slid down into the nearest desk and stated, "My dad is dieing and mom wants me to come home so I can be with him…and her," after a pause to take a deep breath she said, "She wants me to stay with her and not come back to garden." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper and held it out to Quistis.

Quistis stood and walked over to her tiny friend and to the letter. Her eyes scanned it before asking, "Are you going?"

"I have to! He's my dad and I love him…but…never coming back? The garden is my home. What about all my friends here? What about Irvine…and Squall?"

They stood in an uncomfortable silence. Quistis stared at the letter; Selphie stared over the top of it into Quistis' withdrawn face.

Selphie looked down, "What time does the letter say the train leaves?"

"Tomorrow at 12:00," Quistis answered slowly.

"Well then, I should go pack." Selphie stood up and gave Quistis a small, but quick, hug around the middle, "Goodbye Quisty. I'll miss you" She then gave an almost invisible smile. She walked out of the classroom. She wasn't skipping or running or jumping, just walking slowly.

Quistis sat back down at her papers. She put her head in her hands.

"Hey Quisty! Have you seen Selph?"

Quistis looked up at the over exuberant Zell. Quistis sighed, "She just left." Quistis didn't particularly like Zell. He was okay but when you were with him for over five minutes you started thinking of ways to kill the guy.

"What?" his tone indignant. "I just talked to Irvine. He told me to talk to Squall and Squall told me to talk to you! Doesn't she ever stand still!"

Speak for yourself, Quistis thought as she stared at Zell who was jumping in place. "That's just the way she is."

"Yeah!" Zell laughed. Wow, he's loud. "Do you know where she is now?"

She was about to tell him but then thought better of it, "No, I don't. She is probably in the quad. Go check there." Quistis looked back down at her papers and sighed as Zell ran out the door.

Selphie sat at the breakfast table, in Tribia, reading the back of the cereal box. She and Irvine use to beg the boxes off the workers in the cafeteria. She smiled at the memory then grimaced. You told yourself you wouldn't think about it anymore!

It seemed like forever since she had seen the garden but it had only been six months. About five and a half months ago her father had died. She was glad she was able to be there for the last days of his life and to be with her mother. When she looked back on her days as a carefree SeeD she saw what Quistis had seen. Irvine and Squall were in love with her and at war with each other. If it hadn't been happening to her she would have laughed.

Marie Tilmitt walked into her kitchen to see her daughter staring glazy eyed at her soggy cereal. She hid her worry lines when Selphie looked up. They smiled at each other.

"Good morning Mama!" She jumped up and said, "It's a beautiful day! I think I'm going for a walk. Do you want to come with?" Not waiting for an answer she slid over to the front door in her socks and pulled on her boots. She then opened the door and skipped out.

"Selphie…What am I going to do with you?" Marie chuckled to herself.

She walked down the sidewalk. The familiar sound of laughter came from park to her left. She glanced over at them. They were normal men and women around her age. She didn't really care who they were, she wasn't looking for friends. Not like you use to be. Everyone had to be your friend, She thought dryly to herself. An airy laugh reached her ears. She knew it from somewhere and it was comforting.

She stopped and turned so that her body was facing the group. Her jaw dropped. There stood Squall's archrival, Seifer. How had she thought that laugh was comforting! On his arm was Squall's girlfriend. Well in truth Selphie didn't think they were still together. She tilted her to the side then walked across the street towards the group. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. Come on! she screamed at herself. She shook her head and said, "Hey Rinny! Hey Seify! Been a real long time! Hi everyone!"

They all looked at her like she was a freak. Rinoa's smile stayed where it was but her eyes lost their warmth. Seifer smirked when he saw her and said, "Nice pajamas Messenger Girl."

He was rewarded with a small flush. She looked down at her pink pjs with the silver stars on them. She looked him in the eye and grinned, "Thanks for noticing! There new!" He frowned.

"Selphie, what are you doing here?" Rinoa asked hesitantly. Selphie noticed, couldn't help but notice, the closeness of Seifer and the raven haired girl.

"I live here," she said. She pushed her hair behind her ear and said, "Are you two dating?"

"Uh…yeah…kind of…" Rinoa blushed.

"Kind of?" Seifer asked.

"Well… yeah, we are."

"Oh! That's great!"

"But Selphie... Why do you live here? Don't you live at garden?" Rinoa tried again.

"I quit garden," She said automatically then she added hastily, "I got to go! Bye-bye!" She turned around and started running not looking back. What a short walk…

"Who was that?" Paul asked.

"One of Rinoa's old friends," Seifer answered, looking at her retreating form.

"C'mon Seifer. We need to go." Rinoa clutched at his arm and when they were out of hearing distance said, "She quit!"

"So?"

"Selphie never quits at anything!"

"Why does it matter?"

"Well…she wasn't the same…" The raven haired girl looked up into her boyfriend's green eyes. She continued slowly, "She didn't have the spark that makes her, well, you know, her!"

Seifer grunted and thought of the small brunette. HE had always thought she was cute but just utterly annoying. She was either sickly hyper or pouting. He grunted again.

"What are you thinking?" Rinoa asked. She was looking at him strangely. He blushed ever so slightly, but she still noticed.

"Oh you know… Why do you care anyways? You said you left them."

"Just because we aren't close anymore doesn't mean I don't still…" She trailed off as she noticed what she was saying.

Seifer grunted yet again and strode away saying over his shoulder, "I'm going home. See yah around."

He left her standing there. He felt her eyes on him but did not turn around. She still loved Squall. She had just said it. He walked down the streets passing houses. Something pink caught his eye. Selphie was sitting on a door stoop. That was probably her house. She was looking down at her boots and was singing some song he didn't recognize.

He strode towards her and sat down next to her, "So Messenger Girl, what's new?"

"Selphie. My name is Selphie Tilmitt. S-E-L-P-H-I-E, Selphie. Do you not listen?"

Seifer chuckled, "Okay Tilmitt."

She sighed, "Why are you here?"

He ignored her question and said, his voice sounding surprised, "Rinoa was right, you have changed."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"How?"

"A lot has happened since Rin left," She said it half sarcastically, half dejectedly.

"Tell me."

She laughed, "You care!"

His face turned somber, "Selphie-"

She laughed again.

"What!"

"Nothing," She giggled, "Continue."

He smirked a little then said, "Rinoa is still in love with Leonhart."

Selphie laughed, "Duh! Whoever said all is fair in love and war was crazy! Love is so unfair!"

He gave her a puzzling look then said jokingly, "Oh no! Don't tell me! You love him too!"

She blushed then whispered, "I really don't know. I used to think I did, but now… I don't know what I think anymore."

They sat is silence for a while. Seifer had only been trying to get her all riled up like he used to. Who knew he would hit so close to home. He thought for a moment then said, "Why did you quit garden?"

"…My daddy was dieing…"

"Oh…sorry…" Sympathy didn't suite Seifer very well. Selphie could honestly say he tried and that made her feel better but it still seemed hopelessly awkward coming from him.

Selphie smiled, "Its okay."

"Couldn't you just take sick leave?"

"My mom wanted me to stay. Speaking of, I should go inside. Thanks Seifer…you've changed too," She grinned at him.

"No prob. We should do this again. You're not that bad." He smirked.

She smiled a dazzling smile and to his dismay he felt his heart skip a beat. She opened the door and walked into her house.

When the door shut, he stayed sitting, thinking about this new prospect. What is this! You and Selphie! That's crazy. I have a good thing with Rinoa. Why ruin it? He stood shaking off his absurd ideas.

But she still loves Squall…

"Hey Squall!"

Squall looked up from his book to see Mayoury. She was a cute new SeeD trainee. All the guys had a small, secret crushes on her except for a select few. Squall was one of the few.

He nodded but then returned to his book without a second glance.

"What are you reading?" She was determined. She wanted to melt his ice exterior. Her thoughts weren't much different from those before her. Squall tilted the book so she could see the title. It was some science fiction.

"So do you think the exams are as hard as everyone says they are?"

Squall shrugged.

Mayoury was about to open her when a longhaired boy wearing a cowboy hat came up to them. She had heard of him. Irvine. Mayoury had never seen him and Squall interact so she was surprised when he actually started talking to him as if they were old friends, "Squall, I've been thinking a lot lately and I decided something." Squall looked up. Good at least Irvine got his attention. "We need to talk."

"Is that what you decided?" Squall asked with the sarcasm evident in his voice.

To Mayoury's surprise Irvine just laughed and said coolly, "Still the same." His voice turned solemn, "No, it's about…" He trailed off and looked at her. Why did it seem someone was always next to Squall? To Irvine, it seemed clear that the commander didn't want them there. Why were people so stupid?

Squall stood up and said, "Right…okay..."

"Please excuse us," Irvine tipped his hat in his way that made the girls blush. Some girls weren't affected by this. Mayoury seemed to be one of them. Selphie had been too…

When they were out of the library, the pony tailed man led the way to the quad. When they got there, Irvine sat while Squall stayed standing.

"So…" Squall broke the long silence surprisingly.

"Life sucks! I should have acted sooner but I was in shock, yah know? I want to go visit her. I'm going!"

"What are you talking about?" Squall asked without a hint of emotion. Irvine stared at him like he was stupid. How was he able to stop thinking about her for one moment?

Squall stood silent for a moment then said, "If she wanted us to visit she would have kept contact." He turned his back on Irvine. He really didn't want to talk about this.

"Ah! Squall, what are you saying? I thought you loved-"

Squall cut him off with uncharacteristic emotional outbreak, "Well she obviously didn't love me!"

"Squall...I would do anything…" Thinking better of how he was going to phrase it, Irvine said, "I think she did love you."

Squall apparently found something funny because he started laughing. He was really laughing. That was kind of rare. "What?" asked the cowboy, dumbfounded.

"We haven't said her name yet."

"Yeah." Irvine coughed uncomfortably, "Who cares?"

"When you go see Selphie, will you be able to look Selphie in the eyes? Will Selphie even notice? I don't think I could."

Ignoring Squall's questions Irvine asked, "Do you want to come?"

"I guess…" They both knew they would make it easier for them if the other went. Only it would be harder on Selphie.

Together they walked from the quad to Cid's office. Irvine knocked on the huge door. "Come in," said a muffled voice from behind the door. The pony tailed man and the blue-eyed man walked in and were greeted with the sight of the older man doing paperwork.

Cid looked up and smiled kindly at them, "Oh, it's you." He straightened and took off his glasses. He almost seemed relieved to leave his paperwork. "What can I do for you?"

"Squall and I want a…vacation…yeah…" Irvine stated beautifully.

"Oh?" Cid's eyebrows rose.

Both Squall and Irvine blushed and Squall said, "It's not what you think!"

The older man's eyebrows went higher. He said, "Squall how do you possibly know what I'm thinking?" He then sighed, "When you've been at garden as long as I have you see a lot of unexpected things but that wasn't what I was thinking."

The younger boys sighed in relief.

"But may I ask what you're planning?"

"Well, we…um…you see… well…" Irvine stuttered then blurted out, "We want to go visit Selphie!"

He had said it so fast that Cid barely made it out, "Oh?"

"Uh, yeah. So can we go?"

"Both of you? Together? At the same time?"

"Yes," they both answered.

He considered this for a moment. Would this really be all right? "Sure, now leave me alone!" Cid put his glasses back on and winked at them before returning to the large pile of paper work in front of him.

End of Chapter One