Well, I'm finally updating. Before I continue, I'd like to dedicate this chapter in memory of my late school mate Joe. Last Tuesday he got ill and died, so that's why this is late… it just didn't seem right to write it… My thoughts are with Joe's close friends and family now. May the angels help them.
Also, this could be my last update until September. This isn't because I'm abandoning fan fiction, it's because my parents have declared the school holiday (which starts on Friday and finishes on the 7th of September, BTW) computer free, which means I can't update. Sorry guys. :-C
On a happier note, who's read the new HP book yet? (Raises hand) It's AWESOME!
Now, to answer the reviewers:
lolly pop 3: Thanks! Yeah, I found Tyson's POV the most fun to write, just because of his general attitude at times like this! Sorry but you might have to wait a while before the next update…
Betrayed by Darkness: Why would I kill off Kai? I mean, WHAT would Beyblade be without him? Jeez…
storm-of-insanity: There there… (hands tissues) Yes, you are very evil. The devil is signing his resignation as I type this. Lol!
AnimeBando33: Well, try listening to a feel-good song to cheer yourself up! Oh - I better warn you - SERIOUS angst coming up in this chapter, mate! Thanx for reviewing.
PandaPjays: Oooh, a new compliment (Brilliant)! I feel much better! Here's the next instalment!
Kinaua: I hope so too. Maybe you could find her in the phone book? BTW, I went and listened to that song after I got your review, it was cool. Very sweet thing to say about Kai! Just so you know, I'm a sucker for angst with happy endings! Hmm… if you ever want to share any of these issues, I'm right here on fan fiction…
blueraven: lol! And thanks!
undetermined: Um, I'm not actually that evil compared with some other people on this site (Try storm-of-insanity and Blazin Shadow for size!) No comment about my imagination, but thanks!
HiddenPortrait: Hmm? I didn't think it was creepy, just rather sweet! Yep, I'm English! Glad you think that's cool!
Shizuka-Yuki: Heh heh, lol! The question ofquestions is what you have asked! Well…just read on!
sproxy23: Yea I thought it was cute too! Well, you know, stranger things have happened… (Evil laugh) You're damn right! I have a bit more angst left for Kai before this story is done!
CyborgRockStar: Wow, thank you! It's reviews like this that make my day! And someone with you talent thought my lowly fic was well-written. That's awesome that is.
safaia-kurome: Cool, thanks! Glad you think it's brilliant! Hope you enjoyed your vacation!
EagleFox: Umm… yeah I was a bit sugar high when I wrote that… probably an after-effect from Max's POV, but whatever…Hope this is also good work!
starfiredevil: Thanks! Hope you're still with me!
Chapter 6: Stripped
'I can't believe what you did to me
Down on my knees and I need to break free
All these years you violated me
I don't know why I can't feel inside
I try to hide, can't make it alright
It's overkill, now I'm ready to fight'
Make Over, Christina Aguilera
Rei's POV
Drowsily, I open my eyes. I'm the first one awake, I see; the others are still sleeping in various places around the room, Tyson, of course, snoring loudly. I glance over at Kai's bed. Still unconscious…
I wish he would wake up! I think we're all agreed that we're going to get him to open up if… when he wakes up. I'm not gonna make the same mistake again…
Speaking of which, something sounds different. I frown, trying to work out what it is. Suddenly, it comes to me. The heart monitor's changed! I think he's waking up!
Quickly, I rush around, waking the others up. Tyson of course, refuses to wake up even if I shake him really hard.
"Tyson breakfast is ready!" I half-shout into his ear. That gets him up. Hurriedly I fill everyone in on the situation.
"Guys, I think Kai's waking up!" We all crowd around the bed, just waiting…
Kai's POV
Where am I? What happened? Ugh. My head feels like someone's tried to drill a hole right through it and I feel awful. My eyelids feel so heavy. If I keep them closed, the world beyond them can be whatever I want it to be…
"Hope he wakes up soon."
What? Was that Max's voice? It can't be! Inwardly, I scream in frustration because I know what must have happened. They should have just left me there, it would have been better! Now, I'll have to go back. Because it won't be long before my grandfather notices that he's lost his favourite punch bag.
Oh well. Might as well get it over with sooner rather than later…
I ease my eyes open and stare at the faces above me.
"Kai! You're awake! I'msorryIcalledyouasourpussitwasstupidandshallowandI'llneverdoitagain!" I find myself enclosed in a bear hug that practically suffocates me, which isn't doing much to improve my mood. Leave me alone you blob, I think irritably, but it isn't what I say.
"Tyson…oxygen…" I croak, and feel his grip loosen. Talking definitely wasn't a good idea. I lie there and listen to the voices floating around me.
"We thought you'd never wake up!"
"Can we get you anything?"
"Oh Kai, I'm so sorry…"
Leave me alone! I scream silently. Go away, why didn't you just leave me to die? Why am I still here, with all this pain? I can't take it anymore. I can't. Can't you see that?
I scream silently.I decide I might as well try sitting up, if only to tell them to leave me. Big mistake. My head swims and my vision goes blurry for a few minutes. When everything comes back into focus, I see everyone crowded anxiously around the bed.
"I've got some water if you want it." Max holds out a glass to me. I accept the water but don't say anything. It's not just concern in everyone's eyes. There's determination too. About what?
"Kai…" Max starts. "Why…Why did you do it?"
I mentally groan. Great. More questions. I let my scowl do the talking for me. My head's still throbbing too much to say anything intelligent.
"But really, seriously Kai. What's been going on?" Tyson asks, frowning. Go away, leave me alone…
"Tyson, leave him alone! He's just woken up for God's sake!"
"Yeah, but if he keeps on being so distant and doesn't tell us anything, then the hurt and the poison'll just keep on going deeper," he retorts, being remarkably mature - for him. "So," he turns from Hilary to me, "tell us."
I'm in the same position I've been in thousands of times before. The feeling that you're about to be sick and that your stomach's tying itself in knots. Wanting to get away from everything and cry in some corner somewhere. The fear of being found out that you've told and getting hurt again…
I don't want this. I look away and mutter, "I can't."
"Kai. We're your friends. You can trust us. And, though you may not think it, we do care about you. So if you're hurting so bad that you want to end it all, we want to know. How can we help if we know nothing?"
Rei's words make think, silent for a few moments as my fear of my grandfather wrestles with my yearning to tell someone and finally release all my pain. I can't help it. I want to break down and cry, but I just feel empty. I'm too exhausted and drained, both physically and emotionally, to bother lying any more. I want it all to end.
"O…okay," I say resignedly. See? Empty. I've become a void. Every shred of defiance I ever had has been stripped away from me. I'm broken, there's no fight left in me, I'm exactly how they wanted me, but I don't care. Empty.
I take a breath before continuing. Because it's still difficult. "I guess…I guess I should start at the beginning. Most of you know by now that I'm half Russian, in fact I was born there, to Alexa and Hayward Hiwatari. And for the first three or so years of my life, I was happy, I guess." My voice sounds hollow in my own ears. I feel so detached, separate from the rest of the world, like it's not me speaking. Take a step back Kai. Step away from them all.
"But…that all changed when I was three. I know I was only small, but I can still remember that day…" Even though I'm still talking, I can't hear myself. I can no longer see my friends. I'm lost in the memory of what happened that day, seeing it like it's happening right in front of me…
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I run down the stairs laughing into my mother's arms.
"Hello lovely boy," she laughs back at me, her amethyst eyes twinkling with joy as she whirls me around.
"Mama, when is Papa back?" I say impatiently.
"Soon Kai! Very soon!" she smiles at me. She kisses my forehead before setting me down, and even though I'm only three, I know I've never felt so loved.
The door opens and my father walks in.
"Hello!" he beams, pulling both me and my mother into a hug. "I've missed you both so much."
"Welcome home," my mother says softly, kissing him.
"And how's my precious little treasure?" he laughs, ruffling my hair, so like his. I smile up at him and he laughs again. We're all together, happy.
And there's a knock at the door.
I feel my mother stiffen as both she and my father stare at the door.
"No…It's too soon," she whispers, pulling me close to her.
"Open the door!" comes an irate shout from outside.
My father turns to mother urgently. "Take Kai and hide somewhere. And whatever you hear, don't come out." My mother nods and carries me hurriedly into living room.
"Mama what's happening?" I say, worried. She turns to me as she pulls open a cupboard door.
"Listen carefully Kai," she says quickly and softly, "I need you to be as quiet as mice, okay? Promise me you will."
"I promise," I say uncertainly.
"Good boy," she whispers, lifting me in and climbing in after. She shuts the door and wraps her arms around me, and we sit in the darkness. I'm scared. Whatever is happening, it's not good.
"…Come now, Hayward you fool. Tell me where the boy is, and I may yet forgive you for betraying us."
"I don't know where my son is," I hear my father say forcefully. "And even if I did I wouldn't tell you."
Suddenly:
Shouts. Thuds. The sound of a struggle. Yells. A loud bang. Then, silence.
My mother gasps and when I look up at her, tears are on her face. "Hayward…" she whispers, and hugs me tighter, as if she's terrified of losing me.
"Search the house! Every nook and cranny, I don't care what you have to do, I want him found!"
My mother trembles. "Kai, get behind me, okay," she breathes. I do so, and we wait in silence, both of us trying not to make a sound.
Suddenly the door is flung open. I peer round my mother's body to see a man with purple hair and goggles.
I don't know it yet, but it's Boris Balkov.
"Good evening, Alexa," he says smoothly. "I think you know what we've come for."
She stares back at them with fire in her eyes. "I'll never let you touch him."
"Now now, my dear, don't make it hard for yourself…unless you want to go the same way as your husband."
She trembles but doesn't let up. "The day I give my son into your insane clutches is the day pigs sprout wings and fly," she spits the words out vehemently. There is a loud slapping sound.
"Move."
"No."
"Move!"
"Never!"
Bang.
I watch in horror as my mother crumples to the ground and jump down, frantically shaking her lifeless form. She's still breathing. Just.
"Mama? Mama are you alright?"
"K…Kai…" she gasps. "Promise me… that…you will…never let them…b…b…break you. Promise me…" And then she goes horribly, horribly still.
"Mama? Mama wake up. Please Mama!" Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I'm forcefully dragged to my feet.
"Your mother's gone, boy. Your father too. So leave them."
Leave them? Why would I do that?
When I say nothing, he shrugs and then smiles down at me nastily. "You're coming with us."
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I break off from speaking for a moment and look away. I can feel tears rolling freely down my cheeks and I know that everyone is staring at me. I don't care. Let them stare if they want. Because at the moment, I couldn't care less.
"Oh… Kai, we never knew…" Hilary breathes, like she's scared to break the silence. I try to look back at her, but I can hardly see anyway through the tears.
"No. No you didn't." I manage to say. "Well, as you can imagine, my life went downhill after… after that. Boris took me to that Abbey, and, well, it was certainly a different life than the one I'd been living before. We could never go outside, it was always cold, very cold…" I shiver as I remember the days I spent trapped in the confines of that awful place. "Even though it wasn't exactly a proper home, you made good friends there… but I still missed my mum and dad." I choke on those words as I say them. "As a rule, we weren't really seriously beaten unless we'd done something against one of their rules. Yeah, most people would get an occasional slap or something, but nothing too serious…" I smile slightly, but there's no heart in it. "Unfortunately for me, I was one of the ones who disagreed with all of those rules on a regular basis and well… let's say it wasn't really that easy for me… I was almost glad when I was eleven and the whole Black Dranzer fiasco got me out of that place -"
"What happened?" Tyson asks.
Usually I'd refuse to answer, but I haven't got the mental energy. "I ended up blowing half the Abbey up and luckily no-one was hurt, but then my grandfather took me to Japan and -" I shrug "It wasn't really any easier. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, it never seemed to be enough to please him…" I'm having to fight hard to hold back the sobs now, pushing against my throat to be let out. It isn't helping my headache.
I take another breath. "He… he beat me all the time. I guess you could say I forgot how to love. It…became necessary to hide how I really felt to protect myself." I force myself to look at them all. "After I met you guys… well, I know I never really showed it, but it was the best thing that happened to me." I see Rei give me a pitying look and feel somehow ashamed.
"Well…you know that my grandfather disappeared after that first tournament, but he just recently showed up again out of nowhere. And well…let's say that he didn't take too kindly to you being my friends." I can't bear to look at them any more and drop my gaze. "Or maybe old habits die hard, but…" I trail off. "I guess that's when I finally started to break." There's deadly silence for a moment.
"Oh Kai…" Hilary manages to say, her eyes swimming with tears.
"No wonder you seemed so uneasy," Rei says softly, almost to himself.
"What?"
He looks up, obviously unaware that I heard him. "Oh! About a month ago… at least, I think it was… Kai?"
I can hardly breathe. I don't speak but my memory is replaying that day for me in vivid detail. That time? Oh no no no…
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"It would mean so much to us if you came. I know it's not really your thing but…"
"I'll see what I can do." I glance uneasily at the house. If he catches me with any of my friends -
Oh no. He's there, watching me at the window with a face like thunder. No hope of being ignored now.
"I have to go," I say as normally as I can. The longer I spend out here now, the worse I'm making it for myself.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. But - I really - have to go, Rei." I put as much emphasis into the words as possible.
"Oh. Well, okay…bye then." I turn to go up the path and into the hall, knowing full well what I'm in for. Sure enough, he's waiting for me.
"What have I told you? Those friends of yours have made you weak," he says contemptuously.
I try to edge my way around the hall and up the stairs, but so far, it hasn't worked. "I wasn't talking to him."
"If you weren't talking then what were you doing?" When I don't answer, he hits me with such force I fall to the floor.
"Exactly," he says, half disgusted, half satisfied. "Now, have you got anything to be busy with?"
"Homework," I mumble, unsure whether I'm going to be spared or not. Apparently I am, because he allows me to push myself to my feet and walk up the stairs to my room. Once there, I sit down heavily in a chair and kick my bag under my bed. Stuff the homework, for now at least.
I look out the window at the rest of the world. People talking. Children laughing. When was the last time I laughed, or even smiled? Months ago. Years even. It feels like a million years and more.
I can't help it. My thoughts just seem to lead me to tears. It's happening more and more now, and I can't seem to stop it like I used to. Which is bad because -
"What's this? Crying?"
As if echoing my thoughts, my grandfather's voice slices into my mind behind me, in the doorway. I whirl around to face him. No! I forgot to lock my door! I back away as quickly as I can, tripping over the chair but still keeping my face turned to the floor. "No, I wasn't, I swear!" I know what can - no what will, because I know it will - happen if he catches me, and I wish I didn't know.
"Look at me." I keep my head down. He can't see, I won't let him.
"I SAID, LOOK AT ME!"
He strides over, grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my head up so he can see my face. I know that he can see my eyes, red from the tears, and the fear etched in them; I know what he's going to do to me...
go"Weak," he hisses, and starts to hit me. It's indiscriminate - he doesn't care where his fists land as long as they cause me pain. All I can do is close my eyes and bear it as best as I can. Screaming will just make it worse.
He pushes me backwards so I hit the wall and all the air is knocked out of me in one gasp. That really hurt.
"Crying is a sign of weakness!" he snarls, and starts pummelling me again. I curl up into a ball to give him a smaller target, but if anything it just seems to hurt more as the blows land on my already bruised body.
"I - will - not - have - a - weak - grandson," with each word he deals me another blow, it hurts too much, when will it be over, I just want it to stop, stop, stop…
All thoughts of bearing the pain have slipped out of my head. All I can do is wait for it to be over and scream as each new blow sends me further into pain. It's broad daylight, the middle of the afternoon. Can't anyone hear me screaming? Or don't they care?
I feel something wet trickling down my arms. Am I really bleeding? All I know is that this is the worst he's ever beaten me. His hands reach for me again, and I surrender to them as I slide into pain-filled oblivion…
reallyI wake up, cold and in pain, on the floor. I wait for a while to get my bearings, then being careful not to do myself any more damage, slowly get up. Nothing feels broken, but… I look hazily at the clock. Half eleven! I've been out for hours…
The throb of my head brings me back to more pressing matters. It feels as though someone's tried to squeeze it into a matchbox or something. When I put my hand to my head, I feel something wet and semi-congealed. Better go see how much damage there is then…
Shakily, still reeling like a drunk, I head for the bathroom, praying to all the gods I know don't exist that I won't run into him on the way. Luckily I reach the bathroom without much incident.
One glance in the mirror tells me it's back to the old falling down the stairs story. Half my hair is bloody and matted, and there's the beginnings of bruising showing pretty much everywhere. I sigh. Better clean myself up, then I'll have to check my head more carefully.
One thing that I know as I head for the shower is, that that's the last time I forget to lock my door.
feels-----------------------------------------------------
"Kai? Kai, are you alright?" Max's voice drags me back to the present, and not a moment too soon. "You just zoned out on us for a minute there."
"I'm fine."
"Except," Rei says with a serious face, "You obviously aren't. You obviously haven't been alright for a long time. How could you have kept all of that inside?"
I shake my head tiredly. "I don't know, Rei. I just don't know."
"What I don't get," Tyson says almost thoughtfully, "Is how this all links up with - well, you know…" Not being so mature any more then. I'm just about ready to explode.
"You don't get it? I couldn't take it any more!" All that was left of my self control has finally evaporated. I can hear my voice shaking and breaking. "Almost every night - coming back and knowing that you were facing hell from someone who's apparently the only family you have left, or that you'd just be ignored - knowing that no one really cares about you - I couldn't bear it any more, I just couldn't! I couldn't…" Not only my voice, but my whole body is shaking with sobs. Through the watery film of my tears, I see Tyson look away as if embarrassed. Well big deal, he doesn't know what it's like, he can't know how much I was secretly terrified…
"He's still my legal guardian," I barely whisper to no one in particular. "So now I'll have to go back."
Rei stiffens. He must have heard it. Well, he is a Neko-jin.
"Are you kidding? After what we've heard here, there's no way in a million years we're going to let that happen," he says fiercely.
"I'll second that," Hilary adds, her eyes angry slits through her own tears.
"Totally," Max says, getting a nod from Tyson and a gulp that may or may not mean yes from Kenny.
I look at them, tears still brimming over, both touched and gob smacked. Personally, I agree with Kenny. They're prepared to go head to head with my grandfather?
They have absolutely no notion of what they're up against.
General POV (Again)
The Chief Executive looks up at the junior nurse and her older colleague with a deep frown etched on his face. "Are you sure what you are saying has enough evidence to support it, Miss Hadley?"
The young nurse stands her ground with fierce determination. "Sir, with all due respect, there is no other way to explain it. This sort of bruising just does not happen in an accident. It was obviously done with harmful intent."
The C.E turns to the doctor with her, exasperated. "And you, Doctor Mallory? Do you agree?"
The doctor nods his assent. "Persephone asked me to give a second opinion once she spotted it, and I have to say, I think that Mr. Hiwatari's very life may be in danger if we send him home."
"He's awake then, is he?" the C.E answers grumpily. He is not having a good day.
"Certainly, but that is not the point. Sir, it would be a criminal offence -" he puts large emphasis on the words "- if we did not investigate this matter."
The C.E's frown deepens considerably. Child abuse is a serious thing to accuse someone of, but he trusts the people he works with absolutely. Two concurring opinions are even more reason to trust them. He sighs. Only one thing to do.
"Who does he live with and what are their contact details?" he snaps, picking up the phone. "Well, hurry up then!"
"Um… a Mr. Voltaire Hiwatari. His grandfather, I believe. Here are the details…" the doctor knows better than to argue when the C.E is onto something, but Persephone Hadley is new, and curious.
"Errm… Sir?" she enquires nervously as the C.E snatches the paper and dials a number, "What are you going to do?"
He looks up. "I'm going to call my opposite number in the police department, and tell him to pay a little call on Voltaire Hiwatari. I'll need you two -" he nods at both of them "- as witnesses. Oh, hold on a moment… Yes, hello? Yes it's me. We have something you might want to look into…"
One thing's for certain, he thinks, if my staff are right - and I bet my job and everything with it that they are - then the next place he sees will be a grey prison cell.
, he thinks,