Disclaimer: I LIED! I'm actually J.K. Rowling, and since I looove these character sooo much I wanted to write this FanFiction!

Ha. I laugh. I wish I owned this series.

A.N.: LAST CHAPTER! Ha ha ahahah!

Chapter Nine: Return

Hermione opened her eyes.

She was in her bed, in the same party-trashed dorm she had begun her waking nightmare in. Sunday morning sunlight filtered through the closed curtains, dimly illuminating the other beds. Lavender's and Parvati's both contained sleeping forms.

"Oh Goddess." Hermione thought. Her heart was pounding. Were these her annoying, preppy, girly, ditzy, gullible, dramatic friends? Or were they some monstrous abomination pulled from the depths of the Hufflepuff common room to drive her insane?

Only one way to find out.

Hermione stood up, her foot landing in an icy puddle of spilled butterbeer. She splished her way over to Lavender's bed…pulled back the covers…

"Hermione!" Lavender squealed sleepily, jerking the covers away from Hermione. Her cry awoke Parvati, who sat up groggily muttering.

"Lavender! Are you for real?" Hermione asked joyously, grabbing Lavender's shoulders and shaking her.

"I should be asking you that, you wonking git, get off!" Lavender spat, flinging Hermione off.

"Where are Harry and Ron?" Hermione asked excitedly, bouncing on the bed.

"SLEEPING LIKE SANE PEOPLE!" Parvati bellowed. Hermione bolted from the room, slamming the door behind her.

"RON! HARRY!" Hermione shrieked, running into the common room. Silence met her for a few moments—then thuds, moans, and a shout of protest from a male—and finally Harry and Ron stumbled down the stairs.

"Harry! Ron! I went to an alternate universe and Draco was Harry and Blaise was Ron and Ron, your family were Death Eaters and so was Harry's and Harry your parents were ALIVE! The library was fluffy and there were books by Bellatrix Black and Remus was the Dark Lord and Draco's godfather was dead and it was Tom Riddle who was his godfather and I fell through the veil and was back here!"

Both boys stared at her groggily.

"What time is it?" Ron asked finally, rubbing his eyes.

"Um…about seven." Hermione replied, trying not to fidget.

"And how much did you drink last night?" Harry added, looking at her sternly.

"Harry! Sirius may not be dead!"

That woke Harry and Ron up. They pulled her to a couch and sat her down, one on either side, to listen. And there, in the garbage strewn common room, she told them what had occurred.

"…so if it takes you where you'll be happy…" Hermione died off finally. Harry was staring hard at the floor, trying to hide the hope in his eyes.

"I dunno, Herm. How can you prove any of this happened?" he asked. But Hermione had already thought of that.

"My Time Turner is gone. And all the searching in the world won't bring it back. A Draco Malfoy Who Lived blew it off a record player."

All three of them laughed.

"I wonder if Malfoy is really Voldemort's godson." Harry muttered as they headed to breakfast.

"I wonder if he really has it in him to be like you." Ron replied. "The stinking snake."

"It just comes down to where you're raised." Hermione butted in. "You can't help your family."

"You can help who you are and how you act, though. I was raised with Fred and George and I don't act like them."

"That's what you think." Hermione said snottily.

"What? I'm not selling love potions to gits like Romilda Vane, am I?"

"No, you're just taking them."

Ron fumed as Harry split the two of them up.

"I want to look for Sirius." He said, and even though she had been expecting this, Hermione winced.

"And how do you suggest that?" Ron asked. "Are you going to go jump through the Veil too?"

"No." Harry said. "I'm happiest with you two, and Ginny, and Neville, and… well, you understand. So the Veil would just keep me here."

"Might take away the Durselys at least." Ron muttered. Hermione shushed him and motioned to Harry to go on.

"So…what I suggest is this…" Harry said, turning to Hermione. His next question made both his friends grin from ear to ear.

"Got a Time Turner and a record player?"

FINISHED! Thanks to all my reviewers, even if I do know most of you. Someone give me a new idea!