The Hunter's Moon

October 13 1979

It was afternoon, and the sky was clear for the first time in days. Of course it was. The moon was turning full that night and somehow the sky always seemed to clear, allowing the full glory of the moon to shine down. Remus thought it felt like a taunt, as if he could somehow forget that the moon was there because of a few measly clouds. He was thinking that it seemed warm for October; an almost balmy southwesterly breeze was blowing dead leaves around the street. He was getting more and more anxious. Already he could see the moon rising in the sky, a pale translucent circle, low on the horizon. Of course, nothing would happen until night fell, but he stepped away from the window anyway, where he couldn't see it, and it couldn't see him. He preferred summer; the nights were shorter. October meant it was getting closer to winter with longer nights and longer moons. The October full moon, the Hunter's Moon, a giant yellow ball in the sky that looked so huge, it seemed as if the moon might crash to earth. He had very few memories of it, other than a brief glimpse each time before he'd start to change, and then there would be no more memories until he woke up the next morning.

People thought the Hunter's moon was beautiful, and he would have loved to be able to join them in that thought, but instead he wondered, not for the first time, what tonight's moon bring. He was getting worse again, or so his friends had told him. By the end of school, his behaviour had been so controlled that he could happily gamble about the fields at night with the other Marauders, terrorising sheep and howling as much as pleased. Or so they told him anyway, he had no memory of them spending the nights of the full moon together. James had said after the last moon that he was starting to slip, becoming more like the creature they'd found locked up in the Shrieking Shack. He'd started attacking them again, at first just snapping at them, but then it grew to more and the last time, Remus had woken the next morning with hoof marks on his chest and several dog bites. He'd tried to eat Peter, apparently.

James, Sirius and Peter would hopefully be arriving at the flat soon to collect him. They would always chat excitedly about the night ahead, he'd get uncomfortable again, because for him, it had never been a game, and then they'd all apparate to a field or a forest in the middle of nowhere and let the moon take its course. It was getting on to evening already and Remus thought he'd make tea for them all, his friends were due in the door any moment. He was starting to get nervous that they wouldn't show up. Peter himself hadn't said a word about the attack but Peter never would anyway, but he'd been conspicuous in his absence nonetheless. He had only to spoken to James once since the last moon via letter, he'd seemed fine about the whole thing. Besides, Lily hadn't said anything about James being angry with him, but then again, why would Lily know. If James wasn't speaking to him, he couldn't tell Lily, she still didn't know about her fiancée being an animagus along with two of his friends so they could mess about with their other friend who was a werewolf.

As for Sirius, that was his main worry. He hadn't spoken to him at all, and to be honest, he'd been a little afraid to make contact with him. Sirius would normally stay over on full moon nights. They would get up late after sleeping off the night before and then piss about all day in Remus' flat, drinking endless cups of tea and talking nonsense. Sirius would always go around to the local muggle Chinese take-away and get beef noodles because Remus was too tired to, and then they'd wait for the second and third moon to come up. That was always what happened, and if they woke up with cuts and bruises, they'd heal each other before hoping in the shower to wash off any mud or blood. On the fourth day, the day after the final night of the full moon, Sirius, James and Peter would crowd into Remus's tiny flat with too much firewhiskey and when Peter and James had gone home to their beds and their girlfriends respectively, Sirius would sit up with Remus and finish off the whiskey. Sirius would curl up on the couch, sitting close to Remus and sometimes, when he was really drunk, he would run his fingers through Remus's hair and then kiss his neck and then his lips. He'd hold Remus close and make him swear not to tell James, and Remus would agree because he was drunk too and if he did then Sirius would kiss him again. Then Sirius would fall asleep on top of Remus with his arms wrapped around him, still curled up on the couch. Sirius would roll off him in the morning and ruffle Remus's hair before stumbling off to work, hung over and probably still half drunk. Then during the rest of the month, neither would speak a word about it, as if nothing had happened and they were still normal mates.

But the last time, had been different. Sirius had woken up early on the fourth day. And was sitting up awake when Remus had finally opened his eyes. Remus had made some quip about needing a good stiff drink, but Sirius had looked away uncomfortably. That day, he'd stayed only long enough to tell Remus what he'd nearly done to Peter and to heal the large bruises and cuts all over Remus's body before he'd disapparated with a mumbled apology about having to be somewhere. Only James came over that night, Peter was still recovering, and since it was just the two of them, James had left early. Not before a full account of the previous night's events had been retold, however. Remus had been nothing but profuse with his apologies and James had accepted them but without the usual slap-on-the-back enthusiasm he reserved for marauder related 'mishaps' like this. Remus had mentioned that Sirius had seemed angry with him, and James had agreed offhandedly, saying something about Sirius being a 'moody bugger'.

Remus had been left with nothing but niggling doubts and a growing fear that even after all this time, his friends had turned on him and decided that consorting with a werewolf wasn't all it was cracked up be. It didn't help that none of them had spoken to him since, and Lily had casually wondered why he hadn't joined James and Sirius the last few times the two had gone out together. Remus could have cried, but it wasn't her fault, she didn't know, so he sucked it in and said it was because it was he was too busy with his new job and he was so exhausted in the evenings he no energy for carousing with the dynamic duo. Lily had laughed and asked him had he ever watched Batman, Remus had looked at her confusedly and she'd just smiled at him. She'd told him that she was glad that Peter was better after that gang of thugs in muggle London had mugged him. James had told her. Remus had been about to ask her what she was talking about, when he'd realised that by 'attacked by a gang of thugs', James had meant 'clawed and almost swallowed whole by Remus'. He'd frowned guiltily into his tea and said he was glad too. Lily had said she'd given out to James about letting Peter stumble his way home alone and Remus had nothing to say but 'mmm' in agreement.

Remus looked at the clock nervously. It was a past the time they normally came. He was now convinced they weren't coming at all. He panicked, wondering could he get to the old Shrieking Shack in time for his transformation. He'd have to apparate to Hogsmeade and then walk to the access tunnel under the Whomping Willow in Hogwarts' grounds because the shack was sealed from the outside. He thought for a moment to get a message to Albus Dumbledore first but realised there probably wasn't the time. Fighting back tears, he started to put his four chipped mugs back in the cupboard when he heard three distinct pops coming from his sitting room. They'd come after all. He heard James call his name a few times before his messy black head popped around the kitchen door.

"There you are!" he beamed. "Ah, perfect timing! I'd murder a cup of tea Moony," he said, spotting the mugs in Remus's hand.

Remus nodded and took the mugs back out again to make the tea, craftily wiping away a sneaky tear. They'd come after all. They left him in the kitchen though; clearly things still weren't as they used to be. A minute later he brought out two mugs, for James and Sirius, promising Peter his in a second. James thanked him with a smile. Sirius, however, said nothing as he was handed his mug, he just chewed his thumbnail nervously, and kept his eyes fixed on Remus. James obviously noticed the tension surrounding the odd little exchange and decided to fill up the uncomfortable silence by talking about the latest quidditch results.

Remus went back to the kitchen to retrieve his and Peter's mugs. When he came back out again, James had engaged Sirius ear, even if his eyes were still on Remus. Peter was took his mug quietly and Remus took the opportunity to draw him aside.

"Listen, Peter, I'm really sorry about what happened."

"It's alright Moony. I know you didn't mean it, besides," said Peter, brightening suddenly, "I'm getting loads of attention and offers of backrubs from the girls when I tell them I was attacked by 'marauding' hordes of thugs!"

Remus laughed softly.

"And on that note, if we're out in the pub, I'm still suffering greatly, for the sake of the ladies, if you know what I mean," said Peter with a wink.

"Thank you," said Remus quietly. Peter only smiled and drank his tea.

Remus took to drinking his, looking nervously out of the window where the sun was going down. James had moved on to talking about Lily.

"Honestly Pads, I'm going to have to tell her soon. I said I was going out with 'the lads' and she asked me did I think I could continue our 'monthly four day benders' when we're married. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew already and she was trying to guilt me into finally telling her. That woman is too smart!"

Remus was eager to be gone; the last light of the evening was fading behind the horizon.

"Em… lads? Look, thanks for showing up," said Remus gratefully. "After what happened the last time, I thought you guys might not come and…"

Remus would have continued but James butted in.

"Not come! Are you daft? Why wouldn't we come? We've been doing this every month for the last few years!"

"Well, after what I did the last few times and…" he fumbled nervously for the words, aware that Sirius was still eying him with a strange intensity. "I mean, I could have swallowed Peter, or what if I bit one of you… and, well, it's the Hunter's Moon tonight. I'm probably going to be even worse than before."

"We know Remus," said James quietly, "but we can't leave you. It's too important. Besides, we're mates. We're the Marauders… and anyway, you're the one who's been anti-social and aloof the last month. Every time I want to go out, Sirius says you can't because you're too busy working."

Sirius had been standing with his arms folded, chewing his nail again, when James spoke. Tensing, he looked up and locked eyes with Remus for a moment. Remus could see a slight hint of panic there, where he knew he'd been caught out in a lie. Sirius had been telling James that Remus was busy so he could go off with his best friend, without the murdering halfbreed, thought Remus ruefully. He didn't realise it would sting so badly to have his fears confirmed. James and Peter were fine with everything; it was Sirius who didn't want to speak to him ever again. Why was he even here in the first place?

"Yeah," he said, trying to gain control of his wits again, "I have a new job, it's been keeping me pretty busy; bills to pay and all that pedestrian crap."

"That's what Lily said too. I don't see why you can meet her for lunch but you can't come out for a pint with me! Ah bugger all those stupid anti-werewolf laws in the wizarding world! You're a harder worker than the all of us put together. Muggle jobs are beneath a wizard like you Moony."

James continued to rant. Remus wasn't bothered explaining that working in muggle jobs meant you could magically forge doctors notes to say you had to go take 4 days off every month to spend time in hospital for some unmentionable disease. Sirius's shoulders seemed to have relaxed in the meantime, but his eyebrows knitted together in a worried frown. Remus wanted to hit himself for going along with Sirius's lies, again. He was always covering for him. He turned away so he wouldn't have to face those eyes anymore. He wondered if James would ever know some of the things his best friend got up to when his back was turned.

"We'd better get going, the sun has gone down," he said with his back to them.

"Oh Merlin it has! Where does the time go?" said James.

There followed a brief three-way discussion of where they should go that month. Sirius deigned to speak only to acquiesce to whatever they'd decided. James was watching Sirius and Remus closely, having noticed the hesitant looks that had passed between the two of them. Sirius was being a moody bugger again, he decided. He'd always had moments like that as far back as James could remember. He'd find Sirius off on his own, a thing most unusual for the gregarious young man, chewing his nail thoughtfully. James started to notice that Sirius would do that when something was really bothering him, like when he'd get a letter from his mother, or when his brother Regulus arrived at Hogwarts and was sorted into Slytherin. He would have taken him aside and made cop himself on for Remus's sake but there wasn't the time at that moment.

Realising the time was pressing, they apparated to a clearing in a large forest near Hogsmeade that they'd used for their transformations before. When Remus thought about it later, the only thing he could remember was looking up and seeing a huge yellow moon, peeping out from behind the clouds and that look of concentration his friends always had on their faces as they transformed.

TBC...