CHAPTER 3 – BREAKING THE LAW IS HARD TO DO
One day, about two months after Patty's arrival and a month of them living as man and wife, Howard got a phone call. He immediately invited the Healeys over for dinner, belatedly checking with Patty to make sure that was acceptable to her. He warned her that she would not be able to blink in front of them or in any way let them know she was a genie. They lived in Houston, but were in Chicago on business.
The secret didn't last long. Roger Healey had been around genies for 24 years. His best friend, who happened to be his wife's brother, was married to one. Roger had been introduced to almost all of Jeannie's brothers and sisters, her mother and father, Haji, and Asmire. He had been sent everywhere from the South Pole, to the top of the Empire State Building's antenna, to the jungles of Africa, by an angry genie. Tracy, Roger's wife, had been around them about 17 years, but was more observant. It was Tracy that figured out that Patty was a genie and that Howard was hiding it.
"If you need to blink, Patty, just do it. We're both used to genies."
Howard and Patty both turned in surprise to Tracy. "What?" Howard said. "How did you know?"
Roger responded, "She's from that part of the world, and there's a decorative bottle on your dresser – Tracy peeked and saw it."
"Howard, do you remember, about 11 years ago, you met Jeannie and Tony Nelson of Houston, while they were looking for Roger?" Tracy added.
He nodded, hesitatingly. "Yes…."
"Don't you think we know that Jeannie's a genie? And we've known for years?"
During the rest of the evening, Howard and Patty found out that Haji's Laws were more flexible than he had ever indicated. Jeannie was a genie, Tony was human, and they had indeed married and had children. Jeannie's younger sister Kashi had also married her master. Another genie that Jeannie knew had married her Canadian master. Howard asked Patty to go to Houston and talk to Jeannie. Later, in bed, he commanded her to do it within the next two weeks. He would have vacation in about two months, and he wanted to spend it on a honeymoon.
Patty had to blink to Roger's office to find Jeannie. The dark-headed genie couldn't get over how much Roger and Howard looked alike. She had mixed them up more than once herself, until she figured out that Howard's hair was longer than Roger's because Roger had to have a military haircut. As a result, Roger's bald spot was more obvious than Howard's.
Roger felt the change in the air when Patty blinked into his office, and turned around. "Jean- OH! Hi, Patty! What are you doing here?" He noticed she was wearing her harem outfit and silently appreciated the view.
Patty went up to him to greet him with a hug, but Roger stepped back. "Good afternoon, Colonel Healey. My master has sent me to speak with Jeannie. It is so good to see you!" She tried to hug him again.
Roger dodged Patty. "Don't do that. If my wife or Jeannie caught you and me hugging, I'd be sent on a one-way blink to the North Pole." He found her tempting, and told himself that he didn't want to do that to Tracy or ruin a friendship with Borden.
"But it is just a friendly hug!" Patty objected.
"Take my word for it. I've been in genie trouble before, and would like to stay warm, please. You need Jeannie? What for?"
Patty backed off, reluctantly. Roger reminded her so much of her master and all she wanted was a hug. But she replied, "He wishes me to get information on approaching Haji about getting married."
Roger grinned. "I'd love to see another genie marry her master. You know about it all yet?"
"No, that is what I need to find out from Jeannie. How would I find her?"
He looked up into the air and called out, "Jeannie! Jeannie!" Patty was surprised that a non-master had calling ability for another man's genie.
Very shortly, a very pretty 18 year old blond girl, dressed in modern clothing, blinked into Roger's office.
"Janae!" Roger exclaimed, surprised to see his niece instead of the older woman he was expecting when he hollered. "What are you doing here?"
"You called? Mom was in the middle of something and couldn't leave. She asked me to come."
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?"
"I don't have a 6th period class this semester, so I'm done for the day. What do you need?"
Patty spoke up, calling attention to herself. "Are you Jeannie?" she asked.
Janae turned to see the woman standing there in harem outfit. "Uncle Roger! I didn't know you had another student genie!" To Patty she said, "No, I'm not Jeannie. I'm her daughter."
"Janae – this is Patty – she's Howard Borden's genie, in Chicago. Patty, this is Janae Nelson – and she's Jeannie's 18 year old daughter."
Janae turned to Patty and smiled. "I didn't know Mr. Borden had a genie. Mom will love to know there's another genie in the U.S."
"I have been his genie for 3 months. He found my bottle in one of his planes," Patty explained, relieved to be able to talk about this to someone again. "I would like to speak with your mother, at my master's request."
The younger genie motioned to the older one and said, "Well, I'll take you to her. Uncle Roger, drop in later. Mom and Dad want to show you their new sofa. Bring Aunt Tracy with you." She blinked, and the two genies left Roger's office almost as quickly as they'd come in. Roger reluctantly went back to work – two genies in his office and he blew it again! He could have had his office redecorated in about two wishes, if he'd worked it right.
At the Nelson house, Jeannie told Patty exactly what she needed to do, and what Howard would be required to do. She gave Patty a hug and said, "I do hope you know what you are doing."
"But, Jeannie…"
"You are so young, and you are marrying a man old enough to be your father."
Patty nodded. "I know. I am a year younger than Howard's son. His son's wife and I are the same age."
"And Howard has been married twice before," Jeannie reminded her. "It is not as bad as Colonel Healey, who has been married 6 times now, but it is still a lot."
"He loves me, Jeannie. And I love him, very much. I never have felt for a man like this one."
"Have you had instruction on what is expected in marriage? Do you have a mother to tell you?"
Patty shook her head. "My mother has been dead for many years, a very serious accident when she was in service to a sultan." Jeannie gasped. "But I believe I know what is expected. Howard has taught me."
"But, Patna, there are other things that Howard could not have taught you already – it is against Djinn Law…"
"I will learn," Patty said. Jeannie sat her down and explained the birds and the bees to her. Patty didn't let on just how much of the sex portion she already knew, but when Jeannie got to the prevention of children when it came to a human male and a djinn female, Patty really listened. When she left Houston to return to Chicago, she knew which methods did and did not work for this combination, a little about what to expect if she became pregnant, and what to say/not to say when applying for the marriage to Haji.
Patty was waiting at home for Howard that night when he came from work. She was wearing a beautiful red silk robe with gold trim, which Tracy had given her, and greeted him with a loving and sexual kiss. Howard took Patty straight to bed before dinner that night. After she climaxed twice, she told him, "Howard – yes – I will marry you." He gave her the ring that he had tried to give her that night at the restaurant.
The second-to-last obstacle was Howard's son. Howie lived in Minneapolis and didn't come to Chicago very often. Howard 's first flight after being returned to flight status was to Minneapolis, so Patty rode in her bottle in his suitcase. Neither of them wanted to risk him being grounded again, and he felt that he couldn't talk to her in his suitcase. At first he was concerned that she'd die if she couldn't breathe, but she dispelled that myth and assured him that spirits don't need oxygen.
Howard had arranged for an overnight layover in Minneapolis, so they went to Howie and Barbara's for dinner that night.
"Hi, Patty, I'm glad to meet you," Howie politely said. "This is my wife, Barbara."
"Barbara, Howie, I am very pleased to meet you both," Patty said, trying not to bow as her djinn training would command.
Barbara had noticed Patty's young age. "Patty, forgive me, but how old ARE you?"
"I am 24, Barbara." Howard had insisted that she not call them Mr. and Mrs. Borden as her deportment class taught.
"You're MY age! And you're living with my father in law!"
"Yes," Patty said, smiling up lovingly at Howard. "He is a wonderful man. We are going to be married soon."
"But…." Barbara was flabbergasted. To Howie, she whispered, "I can't imagine marrying somebody my dad's age."
"Me either, but she seems to love him, and look at the way Dad looks at her!"
"Yeah….in lust."
"That's Dad," Howie stated. "I've seen him in love and I've seen him in lust. He looks the same. Besides….she's gorgeous."
"Yeah. I wonder how many men she slept with before she found your father."
Patty overheard part of the conversation, and indignantly answered, "I have never slept with a man until your father-in-law, Barbara...as if it is any of your business anyway."
"I'm just trying to prevent Howard Senior from making any stupid mistakes."
Howard came up behind Patty and grabbed her from behind, sliding his arms around her in a big spooning hug. "This isn't a mistake. None of my marriages have been mistakes. They just didn't last as long as I'd originally hoped. And one of them gave me this one," he pointed at Howie. Howard looked at Barbara and said, "Without my first wife, you wouldn't have Howie. Who knows, Howie, maybe you'll get a little brother or sister eventually." He rubbed Patty's abdomen, hopefully.
"DAD! I don't want a sibling now! I'm already going to be a …" Howie stopped when he got a "look" from Barbara.
Patty caught on and grinned at Barbara. Howard didn't catch the slip. "Are you?" Patty asked, smiling excitedly at Barbara.
"All right, Howie, go ahead and spill it. Patty's already figured it out," Barbara smiled back.
"Dad….you're going to be a grandpa," Howie told him. "So don't get any ideas about being a dad again at the same time!"
Howard froze. "A grandpa? When? Does your mother know yet?"
"No, we haven't told anybody yet. Barbara just found out three days ago. Now that you know, I'll tell Mom. I don't think she's in any hurry to become a grandma." He added, "Oh, we're due just before Thanksgiving."
Howard was practically dancing around, and pulled Patty with him. "Grandpa! I'm going to be a grandpa! You're going to be a step-grandma!"
"Mas- HOWARD!" Patty changed mid-sentence.
Howard and Patty stayed at a hotel that night, compliments of his airline as it usually was when he had an overnight layover. Though her bottle was in his suitcase, she slept in her usual place, with him in his bed. "I want you pregnant as soon as we get married," he told her, slightly jealous that it was his daughter-in-law pregnant and not his wife-to-be.
"Master! You are 52! By the time the baby is 18, you will be over 70 years old!"
"So? I know how to deal with teenagers, I've got experience! And we'll still be young enough to raise one! Just one!" But he used a condom that night. He forgot one, but Patty knew what they were now, and blinked one up.
The final obstacle was Haji. In accordance with the djinn protocol, Patna sent a request for an audience with Haji via scroll. Howard had never seen this and was astonished to see it leave his apartment and then the return answer. They were requested to come "right away." Patty blinked into her harem outfit, blinked Howard into his airline uniform (which she thought would impress Haji), and then blinked them over to Haji's Castle.
Invited into Haji's Chambers, Patna immediately dropped to her knees and bowed grandly to Haji. Howard stood there and watched, wondering what he should do.
"Rise, Genie Patna," Haji commanded. "You have requested audience with me?"
"Yes, sir. I would like to introduce-"
Haji noticed Howard standing there, and immediately said, "Colonel Healey! What are you doing with my genie Patna?"
"But I'm not-"
"Have you not been in enough genie trouble and it caused one of your divorces?" Haji went on.
"But I'm not-"
"Sir, please," Patty politely interrupted. "This is my master, Howard Borden. It is not Colonel Roger Healey."
It was Haji's turn to object. "But-"
"I know they look alike, sir. But I have met Colonel Healey. He and my master look very much alike, but they do not act anything alike," Patty explained. Howard smiled at her proudly.
Haji turned to Howard. "You are not Colonel Healey?"
"No, I'm Howard Borden," he explained. "I live in Chicago. Healey lives in Houston. We're often mixed up by people who know us both."
Haji nodded, satisfied, and turned back to Patty. "What do you wish, Genie of Borden?"
"Sir, I am told that I must make a verbal or written request of you to be married," she explained.
"Married? To whom? Where is your intended?"
"To Master Borden, your Excellency," Patty said, proudly bowing a little, then taking Howard's arm. He looked down at her with love that even Haji couldn't miss.
"MARRIAGE! To a human! It is not DONE!" Haji exclaimed. "NO!"
"But sir…" Patty knew if she didn't rush on, Haji would banish her and that would be the end of it. "There are already three marriages between genies and their male masters. I have met one of them already. It is she that gave me instructions." No one noticed that one of Haji's assistants left the room quickly by blinking out.
"There is one MAJOR difference between you and all the other three genies who have married their masters, Genie of Borden." Haji stopped and waited for Patty to give him her attention. "Age." Haji turned to Howard. "Master Borden, how many human years are you?"
Howard didn't know what he was asking, until Patty nudged him and whispered, "Tell him how old you are."
Howard nodded. "Fifty-two, sir."
Haji went on. "Your genie is less than half of your human years. In the other three marriages, my genie was OLDER than her human master by many years…more than 2000 years in Jeannie's case, and about 2000 years in Tarania's case." Patty was impressed at Haji's memory. "The answer is no, based on your ages."
"What if we marry without your permission?" Patty defiantly asked.
"Then you will be turned into a full human and you will die as a human would – of old age or illness!" Haji was angry. Howard gasped. He loved his woman and didn't want to change her, though he would still marry her as a human.
There was a knock on the door, and one of Haji's assistants answered it. At the door were Jeannie and Tony Nelson, both decked out in djinn clothes. The assistant who had blinked out followed them in.
"Jeannie Nelson! Master Nelson! What are you doing in my chambers when I am in a chamber session?" Haji was angry again.
"Salaam, Haji," Jeannie bowed, and Tony followed with a slight bow from the waist. Howard looked at him, puzzled.
"Rise, Jeannie," Haji softened and asked her, "Why you are here?"
"We were summoned by one of your assistants, sir, who said that you were forbidding a marriage between a genie and her human master, after I had advised her," Jeannie explained.
"I said NO because of their age differences," Haji stated.
Tony started to laugh, almost uncontrollably. "Age differences! AGE differences! Haji, no disrespect intended, but there are over 2000 years between Jeannie and I. I think an age difference of 28 years might be….more acceptable, wouldn't you think?"
"If the genie was older, yes, I would agree with you," Haji stated.
Howard finally spoke up, having lost some of his fear of Haji. Tony felt for him, knowing what Howard was going through, a little bit. "Haji, may I say something?"
"Oh, I suppose. Why not!"
Howard pulled Patty in towards him. "Patty has explained to me the genie life cycle, the type of life she has had and what she expects from a life as a human wife. I understand it, I'm willing to learn, and what's most important – I love this woman with my life. I want to make her mine, and not just as my genie – as part of me." Patty was about to melt right there on Howard's feet, and Jeannie's eyes filled with tears. Tony was moved, as well.
Haji stared at all four of them, then looked at his two assistants, who both shrugged. "Very well, on one stipulation."
"Anything, Haji," Patty said.
"Patna will be bottled, beginning today, for a period of one year. Master Borden, she will be here in my quarters in her bottle, but you will not be allowed to see her. You will be observed. If, at the end of one year, you have been completely faithful to her, and you still wish to marry each other, I will not stand in your way."
Patty gasped, and whispered, "No! Not that!"
Tony spoke up, in Howard's defense. If this had been him, he thought, he'd want to know if he was free to date or if he had to remain a recluse. "Define faithful, please, Haji."
"Faithful: you are not lying with any other woman. You are free to date, but if you choose to lay with another, you will not be permitted to marry Patna," Haji defined.
"How about kissing?" Tony was pushing it, defending his human friend.
"Any form of physical pleasure is considered lying with a woman in the djinn world, Master Nelson, Master Borden." Tony coughed in shock. He'd never heard that before, and he and Jeannie kissed all the time before they were engaged – both times!
Howard looked at Tony, then back at Haji. "I will be faithful. I feel married to Patty – Patna – now, in many ways. But I will miss her." Howard turned to Patty, tears already forming in his eyes, taking her hands in his. She too was fighting back tears. Sometimes Haji required challenges, and this would be one of them. Howard hesitated to say something else to Haji, but Tony did it for him.
"Haji – I believe they need time alone together before she goes into her bottle for a year. I know I would, if this was Jeannie," Tony requested.
"Very well." Haji, the Nelsons, and Haji's two assistants left the room.
Howard whispered to Patty, "I can't believe I just agreed to that. Do you know how much torture this is going to be?" He pulled her into his arms and held her close.
"The same for me, sweetheart. You will have your work, and your friends. The time will go fast for you," Patty spoke positively.
"But you'll be all alone, in your bottle."
"Before I smoke in, I will bring some things in there with me. I have done this before." Patty blinked and her bottle came in, and things started to smoke themselves inside it. "But I will not have you, and you are what I will miss the most."
"Patty, I love you. I'll wait for you. I'll be counting the days," Howard said.
"And I love you. One thing I just smoked in there was a small human calendar. I too shall count the days."
Howard leaned down and kissed Patty, his mouth opening out of habit.
"No, not here. Haji will know." They had to be content to kiss with lips only. They were in a tight embrace when the group of five came back in. "I love you," Patty whispered again. "Always remember that."
"I love you."
"Patna … smoke in," Haji decreed. With a last hug and a kiss on his cheek, Patty left Howard's arms, gathered her wits about her, and smoked into her bottle. Haji put the stopper on it. Jeannie was crying and not hiding it, Tony looked like he was ready to cry, and Howard's eyes were full of tears as he watched Haji place the red-and-gold bottle on one of his shelves. Haji looked at Jeannie. "Will you please take him home? And in one year, if he still wishes to marry her, you may bring him back."
"Of course, Haji. Come, Howard, let us go. Do you have to work today or tomorrow?" Jeannie asked. Howard, still choked up with grief over his lost fiancé, shook his head. "Then you are coming to Houston. You will stay with us, not the Healeys. They have gone to Pennsylvania for a funeral." She blinked, and the three left for Houston.