Authors note: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and thank god, I don't own Mary Sues, evil monsters. And this is a PARODY.
Ed: You tell 'em!
Monkira: Thanks shorty.
Ed: HEY,WHOS SO SHORT WHEN HE WAS BORN HE WAS LOST FOR A WEEK!
Monkira: Well ,let the fic begin!

There's something wrong about Marian.

"Brother, why are we on this train? How many trains have we rode on in total?" "I don't know Al, too many I guess.
AND WHY IS THE MILITARY HERE!" Ed yelled, leering at Roy Mustang. He, Havoc, Fury, Riza, Armstrong,
Breda, and Falman were sharing a train car with him, Breda beating Falman at Checkers for the twenty-third time. "Fullmetal, we're here to protect a random female state alchemist, the Peach Heart Alchemist. I swear, these alchemist names keep getting weirder and weirder. "Havoc replied. "And why are we here"
"Plot development." "Oh. "Looking around, Ed didn't see anyone he didn't know. "So, where is this Peach Heart Alchemist? "He asked,
still looking around the car. As if on cue, a girl, not much older than twenty, burst through the door, her red eyes staring at the boys, pink hair swaying in the air coming from the open window.

"Am I in the right place? I am Marian Suevius, the Peach Heart Alchemist. Oh yeah, and in twenty seconds all the men in this car will fall in love with me. "she said, working evil sue magic(tm) on the poor men. Just as she said, all the men in the car fell madly in love with her. All except Al, who was immune since his armor protected him. "Brother, there's something wrong here. "He said, looking at Ed, who was transmuting a few pencils into flowers. "Yes Alphonse, there is something wrong, this girl is evil"
Riza said, since her evil sue magic(tm) didn't effect her because she was female. "What do we do? "Al asked Riza ,worried about his older brother. "I don't know Alphonse, but I think we need backup. Ross is in the other car, its not that far from here, I'll go get her." and with that, Riza walked out the door as Marian glared at Alphonse. "What's wrong little boy? Why aren't you effected by my alchemy? You should be like the others. "She snarled, the men too enchanted by her magic.

Dashing down the train, Riza was almost at Ross's car. When she arrived, however, it seemed that Ross was bound and gagged. "Ross, what happened? "Riza asked her. "It was a girl with pink hair and red eyes. "Ross said, shaken at the memory of the girls weirdness. "What do we do?" She asked Riza, staring at her. "I say we do the most humane thing possible - kill her. "Riza said,
dragging Maria out of the car and down to where the Marian was staying with the military men.

Poking Al with her finger, Marian grinned as she figured it out. "You don't have a body do you?" she said as Havoc handed her some chocolates that he found under the seat. The door burst open, Riza and Maria standing there, in an almost Charlie's Angel like stance. "Stay right where you are, hells spawn!" they yelled, as Riza opened fire on the evil girl. As soon as she was dead ,the magic wore off the men. "What happened?" Roy asked, scratching his head, "And why is there a dead girl in here? "Ed looked at him and replied, "I don't know, wanna poke her with a stick?" "Yeah! "Everyone had a great time that day,
poking the dead body of the girl more evil than all the homunculus combined.