Title: The Stylings of the Spontaneous Stories of Cindy and Sandy
Authors: Cindy and Sandy
Rating: Now changed to PG…for Pudgy Germans!
Chapter 3~The Essence of Bob Dole
::Loralia returns home from her unusual day at school::
::Mulder and Scully knock on the door::
::Loralia answers::
::Mulder smiles, strikes a pose, Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing starts playing::
Loralia: Where the hell's that coming from?
Scully: I can't believe you didn't tell me you changed your theme again!
Loralia: Hey…you guys died!
Mulder: We did?!?!
Scully: Well, keep smiling, that's what I always say!
::Enter Marilyn Manson and Bob Dole, carrying on an intelligent conversation about the distribution of commerce in the American society::
::Bob Dole stops, looks around::
Bob Dole: Hey! It's Bob Dole's theme song! Bob Dole Bob Dole…BOB DOLE!
::Mulder in extreme agitation:: WHAT?!?!
::Bob Dole dances to it provocatively…ripping off his pants::
Mulder: THIS IS MY THEME SONG! HOW DARE YOU!
::He pulls out his gun and kills Bob Dole and chases Marilyn Manson off with a small kitten::
Mulder: That's what I thought, Bitch! You'll never become president!
Loralia: Wait…how are you guys here?
Scully: Well, luckily for us, the FIB uses-
Loralia: Don't you mean the FBI?
Scully: What? The FBI? No…FIB! Federal Investigation Bureau…You're thinking of Federally Beaten Immigrants…
Loralia: Oh, my bad…
Scully: Anyway, the FIB has advanced technology that makes being an FIB agent easier…thankfully they discovered that yesterday morning and we were wearing bullet proof saran wrap on all parts of our bodies, we didn't die!
Mulder: Oh…that's right, I should probably take mine off…do you have a bathroom?
Scully: You didn't leave it on where I think you left it on…did you?
Mulder: No? Yes? Maybe? Citrus fruits? Crayon?
Loralia: WHY ARE YOU HERE?
Scully: Well, when a mother and a father decide they love each other very much-
Loralia: NO! Why are you visiting my house?
Scully: oh…um…
::crickets chirp::
Mulder: To investigate!
Loralia: Investigate what?
Mulder: To investigate the investigation of course!
Scully: May we come in?
Loralia: Sure…
::They enter, glancing around cynically, chanting karate noises. They spot the fingered jello::
Mulder: WHO FINGERED THIS HERE JELLO?
Loralia: Uh…my…grandpa?
Scully: Could you describe this…"grandpa"?
Loralia: Ok…sure…he's standing right behind you….
Scully: Yes, very interesting…has he always been standing right behind me? Or is this an unusual variation in his behavior?
::She writes down this new piece of information::
Loralia: No, he just entered the room a minute ago.
Mulder: Did he tell you to say this? Does your "grandpa" always touch jello in front of you?
Scully: Can you see this "grandpa" now?
Loralia: YES! I TOLD YOU! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Mulder: There is no need to get angry ma'am, we're just asking you a few simple questions!
Scully: Mulder…I think this one isn't talking…shall I use my gun?
Mulder: No Scully, this one calls for more drastic measures…
Scully: You don't mean-
Mulder: Yes…the Rod Stewart treatment…
Loralia: What?
Scully: We're going to strap you down in a room and force you to view pictures of Rod Stewart and listen to his music until you agree to talk with us!
Loralia: Come again? I told you…he's right BEHIND YOU!
Mulder: Yeah…and Scully's beautiful, too!
Scully: Haha…good one!
Loralia: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
::The grandpa, who has for some reason been silent this entire time as they refused to believe, or ignored the fact, that he was right behind them…finally speaks::
Grandpa: Can I help you gentlemen?
::Scully clears her throat::
::He stares blankly at her::
Grandpa: Yes?
Mulder: Who are you?
Grandpa: I'm Grandpa!
::Mulder and Scully start screaming::
Scully: OH NO! NOW WE CAN SEE HIM TOO!
Mulder-to Loralia: You put some kind of curse on us, didn't you?!?!
Loralia: What the hell are you talking about? You two need some serious help!
::Marilyn Manson comes back, armed with anti-kitty spray, to avenge the death of his friend, Bob Dole::
Marilyn Manson: DIE YOU CONFORMISTS!
::He shoots and kills Mulder and Scully::
Grandpa: No! Not my beautiful hand sewn drapes!