Is there anyone who would be willing to beta for me? My friend was supposed to but things came up. Email me at bitty bella begood at aol dot com (take out the spaces)if you're willing. PS my "sincere" appologies to anyone who hasn't figured out that this is SLASH. Rolls eyes.

Chapter 5: Going Under

Once we were back at the house, Harry excused himself to go change and I merely assumed that he would be leaving again as he had before. Instead, he came back out of his bedroom in a pair of swim trunks and a t-shirt with a towel in his lap. "Care for a swim?" he asked.

"I didn't bring anything for it," I replied. I loathe swimming pools. I always have. The smell of them, the disgusting feeling the chlorine leaves on my skin, and the memories of many sunburns have kept me out of them for sometime.

To my dismay, he didn't seem to take the hint, but rolled on into Remus' room. He came back holding out a pair of blue board shorts. "These should fit you."

Harry didn't wait for me to say anything. Stripping down, I muttered to myself the entire time. Luckily, I had thought to toss some sun block in bag. I rubbed some on, before stepping outside. My mouth nearly fell open when I saw Harry in the water. His strong tanned arms pulled him gracefully though the water. When he caught sight of me, he turned and floated on his back flashing me a brilliant smile. Perhaps swimming wouldn't be so bad after all. He laughed at me as I slowly dipped into the water. "Afraid to get your hair wet?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since I swam?"

"I'll bet Regan was in office," he teased. Not following American politics, I only had a vague idea of what he was insinuating.

"And you were in diapers," I replied.

He frowned. "You do know how to swim?"

"Yes, I know how to swim." With that I took a few powerful strokes toward the end of the pool. I nearly choked on vile pool water as I saw him blow past me with ease. How he could be so quick only using his arms, I wasn't sure. Yet I found it amazing to watch him glide through the water. I followed him for a few laps before I began to tire. "But apparently I am out of practice," I said standing in the middle of the pool.

"With that tan, I never have guessed you didn't live in the water." There was that look in his eyes again. It was unnerving and exciting at the same time. He reached out and placed a light hand on my shoulder. "I can't believe how fair you are."

"You mean deathly pale," I amended with a bitter laugh. I remembered how his father used to torment me about it calling me a vampire and anything else his pathetic little mind could conjure up.

Harry shook his head and ventured a bit closer. "It suits you."

Before I realized what I was doing, I pulled him to me and kissed him on the lips. I let go as it hit me that I had crossed the line, but he tightened his arms around me. Kissing Harry was like heaven. "Well, I suppose I won't have to ask if you're gay," I said.

He laughed. "No, I think that's been answered. And I don't have to ask if you're attracted to me."

"No, you don't."

We stayed in the water for a while longer. I was reluctant to take my eyes off of Harry. "You're quite the swimmer," I commented.

"I love the water. When I was a kid and I was upset, I'd always go for a swim," he told me.

"Why was that?"

He shrugged. "It's easy to forget that I am not like everyone else. I'm freer here. My legs don't really matter."

I nodded slowly. The idea of a release was not foreign to me. As a child, I'd read countless books in my room trying to ignore the hell I lived in. In the stories, I was disconnected from whatever hurt me. That was why I loved writing so much. It was the ultimate release for the things that still haunted me.

"We should get out." He held up a wrinkled hand, and swam to side of the pool and pulled himself up.

As he hoisted himself up into his waiting chair, I got my first good look at his legs. In the water I'd been too entranced by his arms to notice, and the rest of the time they had been covered. His legs looked like they belonged to someone else's body. They were fragile, bone thin, and several shades paler than the rest of him. He seemed to notice my shock, and wrapped a second towel around them. "Pretty gross, I know," he said

"No," I denied. I couldn't tell him that I didn't think he was gross at all, but that I saw him as breakable.

He shrugged. "That's what happens to muscles you don't used."

I got out of the pool, and began to dry off. The center of my back stung slightly.

"God, Severus, weren't you wearing sun block?" Remy gasped from the porch. I had been too deep in thought to notice him.

"I had some on, but it seems I missed a spot."

Harry giggled beside me. "You should have let me take care of that," he said softly.

Remus frowned. "You should have taken the phone out with you. Ginny's been ringing mine off the bloody hook over Saturday night."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I told her to find a date and leave me out of it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Saturday night?"

"Didn't he tell you?" Remus looked appalled. "Harry, I thought you'd asked him already!"

"This Saturday there is going to be a banquet to raise money for the center. We reserved a table, if you'd like come along," he offered, but he seemed slightly off.

"I'll consider it," I told him.

He left Remus and I outside with some excuse about needing to drop by the center. The light haired man stared at me for a long moment. Somehow, I think he knew that Harry's mood was my fault. "What are your plans for the evening?" he asked avoiding the subject.

"I don't have any."

Remus smiled. "Why don't we go out tonight then?"

I shook my head. "I think I'll stay in and write a bit."

That evening, I stared at a blank screen for maybe an hour. It was still hard to believe that I had blown it that badly with Harry that afternoon. The clock on the wall told me what a fool I had been as I watched it tick by. I should have told him how beautiful I thought he was. Told him that it bothered me to think that he had to suffer at all. By eleven, I had settled into the chair in the living room once more, and sometime shortly after I fell asleep.

I woke to a hand on my shoulder. Green eyes peered at me. "You should get to bed," he said softly.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way you think I did," I explained.

With a sigh, he leaned back. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I do. Harry, I don't find anything about you gross, or even unattractive. It's just that you seem so strong that when I saw how fragile you are…"

"I am not fragile!" he interrupted. His eyes narrowed a bit. "Severus, I am not broken, or helpless, or delicate. Disabled, yes. Different, yes. I can't change who I am, but don't assume that I am anything less because I am in a chair. If you can't accept me as I am, and not assume things like that, then maybe you should find someone else."

I was more than a bit shocked by his outburst, but I respected him more for it. "I do accept you, but I've never really known anyone like you before. It's hard for me to know exactly how to go about things."

To my surprise, Harry laughed. "So let me be your crash lesson in Cripples 101. I'll let you in on a little secret…it's okay to ask questions. It's okay to acknowledge that I'm different."

"Oh you are different alright," I said mesmerized by the impish look in his eyes. Sitting on the couch, I was the exact same height as he was and I couldn't resist the urge to reach out and kiss him.

He gave me a lopsided grin and settled himself beside me on the sofa. We made out like two teenagers for the better part of an hour with hands drifting here and there. I wanted him so much, but it was too soon and there were things that I was unsure of just yet. In the end, we stretched out together with him in my arms. I hadn't realized how small he was until that moment, and I liked the feeling of holding him. Admittedly, I've never been one for cuddling, but this seemed right. I fell asleep like that.

In the morning, I opened my eyes just in time to see Remus cast a glance at the two of us and then stroll into the kitchen. I wondered if he approved. We did need to talk, but I wasn't about to wake Harry. He must have shared my thoughts because he said nothing before he left the house.

About that time, my foot went to sleep and I began to wiggle it in an effort to get it awake. "That tickles," Harry said groggily.

"I'm sorry," I said, and then it dawned on me. "You can feel that?"

"Of course I can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my legs or my spinal cord. My brain just does send the right signals to them," he explained with a yawn.

"You can feel everything?" I asked uncomfortably.

He laughed. "If you're asking if I can have and enjoy sex the answer is yes. I thought you would have noticed something last night."

"I was trying desperately to be polite enough not to cross any more lines before the right moment."

"How'd that go?"

I snorted. "Terribly, brat. You make me want to strip you naked and fuck you right here."

"So why don't you?" he asked peering at me from under his lashes.

"Because I want to get this right." And I did. I wanted to make sure that everything was safe between us before I let go of it all. I wanted him to be sure that he would want me when he knew me.

He kissed my forehead. "Then I'm going to get up. I need to get moving."

I laid there for a few minutes after he had left. Harry Potter. Who would have guessed that I would fall so hard and fast for him? There was much to be done.