Chapter Nine

When it comes down to it, in the end all you have left is love. Even when you've grown old and have entered your second childhood, when you loose all of your teeth and your hair, when your mind is gone, those who truly love you are the only things you have left. That is why it is always so important to love, and to be loved. Because who knows? You may be in an accident tomorrow, leaving you disabled, and the only ones you can depend on to stay be your side are those you love. So be true to those you hold dear to your heart, because love is like the sun. Sometimes it may appear to be unseen, but it is always there, shining through in the darkest hour, even when you have your back turned on it.

Summer lay in her bed that night, crying silently. Luke had left. She told him that he needed to, and he went to stay with his mother and brothers. She couldn't be around him that night, she had to be alone, to think about what she wanted for her future--who she wanted. She remembered her times with Seth:

When he had declared love to her in the coffee shop.

The first time they had made love, the time she had lost her virginity.

The time when she kissed him while he was wearing the Spider Man mask, when she returned to him, knowing she couldn't go to Europe with Zach.

The time when he left on the sailboat, seemingly never to return again.

The time at the prom, when he declared his love to her once again before all of the watchful eyes.

And Summer began to cry. What had she done? It was probably the biggest mistake of her life, sleeping with Luke. Yes, she loved him, but it wasn't a love that would last the years, that would outstand time. Her love for Seth would. And so she knew who she would choose, but that was only if he would take her back.

She stood and slipped her feet into the care bare slippers and began to tiptoe down the hall towards the staircase. She turned around the corner and made her way towards the room with the slightly ajar door. There she saw Seth in his bed, lying awake. He must be thinking about her too. She slipped inside the room and closed the door behind her. "Seth?" she said.

Seth looked up and saw her standing there. "Summer?"

Summer walked over to his bed and climbed onto it beside him, laying on a spare pillow.

"Summer…" he began.

"Shh," she said, kissing his lips softly, one hand caressing the back of his head, the soft curls of his hair. "I know who I want, Seth. I want you…"

She sat up and untied the strings that held her top together. Slowly, she let the blouse drop onto the side of the bed, and then fall to the floor. Seth stared amazed at her breasts, two perfectly shaped pieces of art, crafted by the hands of God. He kissed her again, pulling her closer towards him, and then pulled the shirt above his head. He still hadn't grown much hair on his chest since the first few times they had made love, just a trail between his pecks that led down to his belly, and then to his manhood. He slowly reached for her underwear, tugging it softly and rolling it down to her ankles, where he then threw them to the floor and examined her body for a few moments. "You're so beautiful," he said, glancing up and down her, then began to kiss her again, moving down to her neck, and her shoulders. He began to suckle upon her nipples softly, and lifted her so that she was stretched out above him, straddling his body. She untied the loose rope that tightened his sleeping pants, and began to move them down to his ankles, revealing his boxers. She slowly pulled those down too.

"Make love to me, Seth," she moaned, nibbling his neck softly. He slowly climbed atop her and began to move with her, as they made love, climaxing, moaning, sighing with passion. "Seth," she moaned. "Seth…"

Seth ran his hands up and down her body, her beautiful curves and shapes and proportions, taking everything in, breathing her, tasting her, feeling her. She was so lovely, so beautiful, and he couldn't believe that he had waited this long to be in her again. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I am so sorry," she said as they moved as one. "Forgive me."

"I already have."

She smiled as she lay beside him, her head rested on his chest, stroking the soft dark hairs. "I love you so very much. And I want to stay with you. Forever."

Seth nodded. "Same here."

She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Kirstin sat up in her bed, drinking the vodka straight from the bottle. Sandy was gone…Sandy was gone…She rolled over in the bed, the bottle still in her hand, and got to her feet. Looking at the clock, she saw that it was almost 12:30. Was it A.M. or P.M.? Kirstin grabbed her housecoat and made her way over to the door. She pulled it open and saw that the hallway was dark except for the occasional nightlight. She made her way down the hall, nearly tripping, and then found herself at the stairwell. That was when she saw him. The dark hair ending at his neck, flipping at the ends. His bright blue eyes. The grin of his bright pink lips. Sandy Cohen.

"Sandy," she called.

He motioned for her to follow him, and she obeyed, gracefully making her way downwards, stair to stair, despite the fact that she was drunk as a dog. She reached the bottom and saw him standing beside the kitchen table. "You want to be with me, don't you?" he said in his sweet voice.

"Yes!" she cried. "Oh, Sandy! I knew that you were alive!" She ran towards him but he backed away before she could reach him.

"You must come to be with me, Kirstin," he said.

"What are you talking about?" asked Kirstin.

He motioned towards a pile of dirty clothes in the washroom. Attached to one of the pairs of men's dress pants was a long black belt. Sandy wanted Kirstin to hang herself. She understood. He wanted her to kill herself so that she could come and be with him. And why not? She had nothing else to live for. Seth and Ryan were grown. They wouldn't be here for long. The Nana was getting old and, even though she had outlasted leukemia, Kirstin knew she wouldn't be here much longer. She was old.

Kirstin walked towards the pants, and began to take the belt from the loops. She knew that it was her time to go.

Ryan couldn't sleep that night. He sat up in the sleeping bag, watching the patio, the moonlight reflecting off of the surface of the pool's water. He sighed, wondering what would he do with his life. Would he and Marissa stay together after this? Or would she return to her boyfriend in Phoenix? He hoped for the former, but couldn't be sure.

And that was when he saw a figure in the kitchen. It was Kirstin. What was she doing up this late at night? He saw her walk into the laundry room. Why was she going to the laundry room at this time of night? Ryan, suspicious, made his way across the pool house silent, avoiding Marissa and Zach's sleeping bag (Where was Zach tonight? He wasn't here.) and opened the door, sliding outside. It was a little chilly, but he didn't care. His whole body felt numb to everything. To weather, to heat, to cold, to life. Sandy was dead, and he just felt sick to the pit of his stomach.

He opened the door to the house after making his way across the patio, and walked inside. That was when he saw Kirstin standing on a chair in the laundry room. She had a belt around her neck, and she had her eyes closed. Ryan knew what she was about to do. She was going to hang herself. Ryan grabbed a knife and ran towards her, but she heard him. Opening her eyes, she kicked the chair to the ground, and fell. Her feet didn't touch the ground, they just dangled there in midair.

Ryan leapt over the chair and grabbed the belt with one hand, beginning to hastily cut it with his other. "Crap," he said. Finally, the belt gave way and Kirstin fell to the ground. Ryan immediately loosened the belt and pulled it from her neck. "Come on, Kirstin. Don't go this way." He began to do CPR on her, but nothing worked. She just lay there, either unconscious or dead.

Ryan ran out of the room, found the cordless phone, and dialed 9-1-1.

"She's given up the will to live," said Dr. Elaine Perry.

"What can we do?" asked Seth, wringing his hands together. He was praying for his mother to be alright.

"Just cross your fingers and hope she wakes up," said Dr. Perry. "That's all we can do. Unless Kirstin finds the will, she won't make it."

"Thank you, Doctor," said Ryan. Dr. Perry turned and made her way down the hall.

Kirstin had been in a coma for the past two days. The group (Ryan, Marissa, Summer, Seth, and the Nana) had been staying at the hospital night and day, hoping that there was some chance that Kirstin would just wake up.

Why had Kirstin tried to kill herself? Did she feel that useless? That worthless?

Ryan wrapped his arm over Marissa's shoulder. She leaned her head against his, and said, "Do you think she'll wake up?"

Ryan spoke the truth. "I don't know…I don't know…"