AN It occurred to me that I haven't given you guys a proper cliffhanger yet. ;)….Oh and incase you haven't figured it out yet, this is a NON MAGIC AU.
Chapter 12: A Woman Scorned
We blinked and it was late August. Harry was now at the school during the day a lot, or going out to watch football camp. Though he was busy, we made time for each other in the evenings. Maybe I was jealous that something else had come up for him to dedicate more time, or maybe I was feeling a little bored. I can't be sure about that to be honest, but whatever it was, I was restless. My mind began to drift to distant shores. When we were lying on my couch, I found myself thinking of the beaches of the Riviera, of Saville, and of Beijing. Harry had his passions right there for him, but mine were slipping.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked late one night in bed.
"Nothing at all," I lied. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. "I was just thinking that we should go to Tahiti for Christmas."
"That would be nice, but the center has a charity program set up over the holidays." The goodness in him was becoming somewhat tedious to me. I wanted to scream at him for it. I wanted to tell him to fuck the center and his job.
"Another time then," I said quietly.
"Does it bother you that bad?" he asked kissing my neck.
"No." I got out of his bed and began to dress.
"Severus, would you just tell me what is bothering you?" Those bright green eyes were locked on me intensely.
I sank back down on the bed and pushed back my hair. "Are you ever selfish/"
He laughed at that. "Of course, I am human. What does that have to with anything?"
"Everything you do is for someone else. When was the last time you did something just for you? Christ, every time I look around you're at the center."
"You know how I feel about those kids. We're kind of understaffed. Maybe by next year, there will be enough people to take over most of the load."
I nodded. I wanted out of this conversation. Picking up the picture from his bedside table, I stared at the happy family. Harry must have been three or four. He was sitting on a bicycle with training wheels between his mother and father. Lily had her hair swept back and James was smiling. "Do you remember much about them?"
He shook his head. "Everything before the accident is a little jumbled for me. When I woke up, I was pretty much starting from scratch. Sometimes I dream about them, but I'm never sure if it's a real memory or if it just me imagining what they would be like. What is your family like?"
I sighed. "My father was an abusive drunk. He drank himself to death by the time I was twenty. My mother wasn't much better. Last I heard, she was still living in the house I grew up in. The difference between you and I is that I never had any illusions about my parents, and it seems that is all you have of yours."
"Was that an insult?" he demanded.
"I'm not sure. I am envious in a way."
Harry shook his head. "That's twisted."
I sneered. "That's only because your father didn't live long enough for you to hate him." In an instant, I wished I could take those words back, but it was too late.
His face flushed. "Remus told me you hated him. Are you still that vindictive? My father was a good man. He loved my mother and I. Why would I ever hate him?"
"Harry, I didn't mean that," I said trying to undo some of the hurt I saw in his eyes.
"Why would I ever hate him?" he repeated. "Do you hold a grudge that long, or is there something you know that I don't?"
"Perhaps a bit of both."
"Tell me."
At that moment, I truly did hate myself, but I told him anyway. "I was jealous of your father in school. He and Sirius were the perfect example of boys who had everything given to them. The pair sought out any and every chance to make someone else feel inferior that they could find. There was no line as to how far they would go. James was always cheating on Lily, and Sirius would help him bullshit his way out of it. One night I walked in on him fucking some whore. I told your mother, thought I admit part of it was because I wanted to get him in trouble. Sirius set out to get even. He and James followed me out to a ledge near the school. I wasn't supposed to be there, but it was my favorite spot. We fought. Just when they had finished beating me to a bloody pulp, Black drug me over to the ledge. He would have tossed me off, but your father stopped him. Though I don't think it was from the goodness of his heart. He knew that he'd go to jail."
Harry didn't say anything for a long time. "Please leave," he told me as he situated himself in his chair.
I did as he asked, and went out to my car. I regretted everything I had said that day, but I couldn't take it back.
Back at my condo, I found Remus and Draco bundled up on the couch watching some old movie. I must have looked upset, because Remus was instantly sitting up. "Everything alright?"
I nodded. "A minor disagreement," I said leaving them to their movie. Thankfully, Remus didn't follow me.
My head was pounding. More than anything, I was ashamed by the way I'd acted. Harry didn't need to know about the past. I never should have told him. He had held his parents memory sacred for so long, and I had no right to challenge it. Harry's words echoed back to me. Do you hold a grudge that long, or is there something you know that I don't? There was no denying the truth. I still carried the anger for James Potter with me, yet I loved Harry more than I had ever hated his father. It should be simple to forget, but it wasn't.
The next morning, I was still feeling the sting of our argument. My pride had wavered enough that I was ready to go back and apologize. Harry was at football camp for the day and wouldn't be home until later in the evening, I knew, but I decided to go out and meet him at his house.
Pulling up the drive, I saw a blue car that I didn't recognize. Perhaps Remus had finally taken his SUV to get the alignment done and had gotten a rental, I reasoned. The front door was open. My intuition told me something was wrong, but I just kept walking. "Remus?" I called from the entryway. There was no answer. And then I saw her.
A woman with long red hair stood by the pool. Her shoulders trembled as though she were crying. "Ginny, what are you doing here?" I asked gently.
She turned with fury in her eyes. "NO! I belong here. What are you doing here?"
"Calm down. I'm sure we can talk about this."
"There's no more time for that," she said softly.
I didn't see the gun until it was too late. BANG! BANG! I felt the bullets enter my body. The world seemed to be fading as I fell backward, but I did remember hearing one more shot. The last thing that I remember thinking is that I wished I had told Harry how sorry I was, and that I loved him. And then the world went black.