This story is getting juicy now, ne? Which one is real? Which one's a dream? I could tell you, but that would ruin the suspense. I'm so evil. Anyway, here is where the story gets more complex in both realities, so try not to get confused on what's going on where, because there will be a lot to keep track of before long. I hope you're enjoying watching Hiei go nuts as much as I'm enjoying driving him there. I don't know why I'm deriving so much pleasure from this. I'm so very evil. ON WITH THE FIC!

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Koenma eyed the two before him wearily. He didn't want to do this, Kami he really didn't want to do this. But it was getting to the point where he didn't have a real choice anymore.

"Are you gonna explain why you called us here or just stare at us all day?" Yusuke asked impatiently. Kuwabara said nothing. He had a bad feeling about this meeting.

"Alright Yusuke, I guess I've kept you waiting long enough," Koenma sighed.

"You can say that again," Yusuke huffed. Koenma looked up sharply, but otherwise ignored the comment. In a moment the youth would know why he was so hesitant to reveal his reasons for calling them.

"I called you here, Yusuke, because I believe I've found Hiei," Koenma said calmly.

"No way! You found the shrimp!" Kuwabara exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across his face. He would never admit it to the shot tempered demon, but Kuwabara had really been worried about him.

"Well, what are you waiting for Koenma! Tell us where he is and we'll go get him!" Yusuke cried, smiling just as wide as Kuwabara. Koenma, however, remained emotionless as he folded his arms on the desk in front of him.

"It's not that easy, Yusuke," the three foot ruler said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Yusuke asked seriously, sobering from his momentary happiness and relief at finally hearing news of his missing friend.

"Hiei…has grown rather dangerous," Koenma began slowly, searching for the right words. "Something has happened to him…changed him. He's become…well…hazardous."

"What are you saying?" Yusuke asked, trying to figure out what Koenma was getting at, and more importantly why he was bringing it up. Kuwabara's bad feeling was back, twisting his stomach in knots.

"You mean the shrimp's gone…crazy?" Kuwabara asked slowly. Koenma sighed and then nodded.

"Yes, Kuwabara," he said simply.

"That's absurd!" Yusuke cried. "Hiei wouldn't…I mean, nothing could make him lose it! He's too…too…crazy already to go crazy, you know?"

"Yes, I know Yusuke. The fact remains, Hiei is most defiantly not in his right mind," Koenma stated, maintaining his calm demeanor.

"How do you know that?" Yusuke asked suddenly. They'd been searching for Hiei for months with no luck. How did Koenma suddenly know not only where he was but all about his mental stability as well?

"He's become unpredictable and destructive, Yusuke. I've seen the aftermath of what he's been up to the last two days and it's not pretty. He burned down a whole forest and then destroyed half a mountainside! It's clear to tell in the way his energy fluctuates so violently that there is something very wrong with him! He's a danger to himself and everything around him!" Koenma finished, standing in his chair and leaning over his desk to glare at the boy before him. A shiver went up Yusuke's spine as he suddenly got a very bad feeling, dreading what Koenma would say next.

"Why are you telling me this, Koenma?" The question was asked in such a clam voice, almost a whisper, Koenma was taken back slightly. He had expected Yusuke to yell but instead he was so quiet. Could he suspect…?

"Because, Yusuke, Hiei is a very powerful demon," Koenma sighed, sinking back to sit in his chair once more.

"And I'm the only one strong enough to take him, is that it?" Yusuke muttered, clenching his fists and staring at the ground.

"Take him? What are you talking about Urameshi?" Kuwabara asked, looking between Yusuke and Koenma in confusion.

"He wants us to go get Hiei, to stop him before he does real damage. Right Koenma?" Yusuke answered, looking up at the pintsized ruler.

"Yes Yusuke, that's right," Koenma said, just as quietly as Yusuke had asked. "I'd prefer you didn't kill him, if you can help it, but do whatever you have to in order to stop him." Yusuke nodded, narrowing his eyes and clenching his fists tighter.

"What are you guys talking about! We can't kill the shrimp!" Kuwabara cried in alarm.

"Haven't you been listening, Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked, his bangs hiding his eyes from view as he glared at the floor. "Hiei's lost it and now he's going on a rampage. It's only a matter of time before he stops smashing mountains and starts going after people. Maybe even humans. Hiei's a strong fighter. If he's as far gone as Koenma thinks, we might not be able to just capture him."

The room fell silent, the only sound being Yusuke's footsteps as he turned and walked out of the room. Kuwabara stood there for a moment longer in shock before glancing back at Koenma and hurrying to catch up with Yusuke. Koenma watched them go sadly, wondering if the next time he saw Hiei would be to judge his spirit.

(xxx)

It was raining. The fat drops of water splashed against the ground forcefully enough to leave bruises on a person's skin. Or on a human's skin anyway. Hiei walked through the forest, unheeding of the stinging rain. He was terribly weak, having been drained of all energy to the point that his youki was practically nonexistent. His head throbbed and his right leg burned with every step while his chest was set afire with every straggled breath he took. His left eye was swollen completely shut and without his energy to warm him he was slowly going numb from the cold rain.

'Is this real?' he wondered as he kept walking towards no particular destination. 'Is this world real? Is this pain real? Is any of this…anything that I've done here real? Is…is Kurama really dead? Or is he alive and this is a nightmare? Or am I just crazy? Does it really matter? Even if this is real and the other is a dream, couldn't I just sleep…sleep forever and take solace in the dream? No…that would be running away. I refuse to run. If this is what's real then I'll face it and live with it, I won't run from it.'

Hiei's thoughts were interrupted as a strong coughing fit shook him, forcing him to his knees. Wonderful. He had let his energy drop so low he was making himself sick. Usually his core temperature was much too high to sustain the life of a virus or bacteria. But now that he was out in the cold without any energy to warm him he had put himself at risk. The truth was that his immune system was a rather poor one. Koorime's were much too cold for infectious agents to live long enough to make them sick and fire demons were much too hot. Therefore, both of them had almost nonexistent immune systems because they both relied on their core temperatures to kill any germs. Without that temperature defense, he had nothing.

Hiei growled as a sneeze erupted from him, wiping his running nose with a sleeve. A chill racked his body and he hugged his cloak closer, casting his crimson gaze around him. He needed to get out of the rain, somewhere warm. If he couldn't heat himself then he needed some other way to burn the sickness out.

Looking up at the sky in vain, he saw a thin line of smoke, almost blending in with the ashen grey clouds. As he started to follow the smoke, he wondered what he would do if he was met with hostility. He wasn't exactly in any shape to be fighting anyone. But what choice did he have? He could either take his chances with the smoke or stay out here and slowly freeze. He chose the smoke.

After an eternity of limping through the forest, interrupted regularly by coughing spells that made his cracked ribs burn in a blazing pain so strong he nearly passed out, he came upon a small cottage. He was vaguely reminded of a few 'fairy tales' Kurama had talked about once that always seemed to include some child finding a cottage in the woods and then getting eaten some point later. The moral of the story was obviously 'Don't go into a stranger's houses or something bad will happen, like you'll get eaten,' but at the moment the shivering demon didn't really care.

Slowly, he approached. There didn't seem to be anyone around. The cottage looked dark and he couldn't sense any youki in the area. He pushed on the door and it opened. Stepping inside he found a one room house with a table, bed, and fireplace. The fire was blazing but there didn't seem to be anyone around. The logical part of his mind argued that whoever lived here wouldn't just light a fire and leave, but the other part, the part that was overloaded with guilt and confusion and the haze of illness, didn't care.

Carefully peeling off his wet clothes, moving slowly so as not to gar any of his injuries, he took the crystal heart from his pocket and hung the dripping garments in front of the fire to dry. With his last bit of strength he limped to the bed. As he crawled between the warm covers he tried to imagine that he was in Kurama's bed, that he had come to the kitsune with his illness and now the redhead was nursing him as he always did when he came to him in need. Clutching the crystal heart close he drifted off to sleep, hoping in the back of his mind that the owner of the cottage wouldn't silt his throat in his sleep when he or she returned.

(xxx)

"I didn't think demons could get sick," a voice drifted over him, penetrating his muffled state of unconsciousness.

"They can, under certain circumstances," a voice Hiei both hated and loved answered, jolting the little demon awake. "When we get sick, we get a fever as our bodies try to kill the infectious agent with heat. Hiei's core temperature is usually very high and so works the same way, keeping him healthy. But somehow he has lost almost all of his energy and his temperature has dropped, allowing viruses and bacteria to live in his body. He doesn't have any defenses against these germs like we do, Yusuke. Without his usual heat he can very easily get sick."

"Oh, and you would know all about his 'usual heat,' wouldn't you Kurama?" Yusuke teased. Hiei could almost hear the playful smirk he was sure must decorate the delinquent's face.

"Yusuke!" the fox squeaked in embarrassment. Hiei, who had been lying with his eyes closed, merely listening to the conversation, opened them now and blinked at his surroundings. He was in Genkai's temple, lying on a futon in one of her rooms. Turning towards the door, he could see two shadows that he assumed belonged to Kurama and Yusuke. There was a warm washcloth on his forehead and a basin of water by his head.

Yusuke and Kurama's conversation apparently came to an end because they're voices suddenly stopped and Hiei could see Yusuke's shadow retreat to the left and out of sight. He closed his eyes as he heard the door slide open, partially because his head hurt and partially because he wasn't sure he wanted to see the fox that was silently crossing the room towards him.

'Is this real?' he wondered, repeating his previous thoughts for this reality, hoping this time he might have an answer. He didn't.

He heard the fox settle by his side and the washcloth was removed from his forehead. He heard Kurama dip it into the water basin and wring it out. Soon his face was being gently bathed by the hot washcloth. He could feel Kurama's nimble fingers through the fluffy cloth, tracing the contours of his face. His forehead…his eyes…his cheeks…his nose…his lips. Every move was so loving, so gentle. Slowly, Hiei opened his eyes, casting his sickness dulled rubies upwards.

"Hiei…" Kurama smiled, relieved as he caught the shorter demon's eyes watching him. Hiei's emotions were tearing him apart inside. All the love he was capable of feeling was directed towards the kitsune, but at the same time he felt an overpowering hatred towards himself for having killed him in the other reality, and a strong confusion as he wondered if that reality was real, and if it wasn't then why he felt so much anger towards himself. It was making his head spin, but he wouldn't let that on this time. He would keep himself together this time. Easer said than done.

"Hn," he said simply, closing his eyes again. "Aren't you supposed to give a sick person a cold washcloth, not a hot one?" A soft chuckle sounded from above him, causing him to open his eyes once more.

"You don't have a fever, Hiei," Kurama smiled down at the ailing demon, rewetting the washcloth in the basin that Hiei could now see was steaming. "It's the lack of heat that's making you sick," Kurama continued as he wrung out the washcloth. Spreading the cloth over one hand, Kurama proceeded to trace the half-Koorime's features once more.

"Being out in the cold rain before you came to my house probably didn't help either," Kurama said as he gently ran the washcloth over Hiei's forehead, taking care not to put too much pressure on the closed Jagan. "It explains those nightmares too. Just fevered dreams, Hiei…anou…without the fever. Close your eyes." Hiei obeyed as Kurama gently passed the moist, warm cloth over each eyelid. Hiei reopened his eyes when he was done, wondering if Kurama was right. Was it possible that he was just sick, that his body's turmoil, while unknown to him at the time, had carried over into his dreams?

"I don't understand how you're energy could have dropped so drastically low, but your health is what's important at the moment. Let's worry about beating this illness now and what caused it later, ne?" Kurama was talking more to himself than to Hiei now, but his hand continued to travel over Hiei's skin, caressing his cheeks and delicate nose with the heated cloth. Hiei, remembering his friend's previous treatment with the cloth, recognized what was next on his path and wrapped a hand around his wrist. Kurama looked down in surprise, but made no move to stop him as Hiei removed the washcloth that was covering the fox's hand and gently pressed his lips to the heated skin.

"Hiei…" Kurama trailed off, not sure what to make of the odd show of affection. Hiei had been acting so strangely lately. He himself had just said it was because of the sickness, but he wasn't really sure he believed that. A simple ailment induced dream seemed like far too much of a petty thing to make Hiei act as unusual as he had been for the past day. Was there something else going on, something Hiei wasn't telling him?

"Hiei, you should get some rest," Kurama said, finally breaking the silence. He tried to pull his hand back, but Hiei kept his grasp on it strongly, shaking his head. "Hiei, what few defenses your body has need all your strength to fight this. What Yukina, Genkai, and I do to help will only go so far. You have to let yourself rest." Hiei shook his head again.

"No, I don't want to lose you again," Hiei whispered, placing Kurama's palm against his cheek and holding it there. He had sworn not to run away, not to show how much the last few days were affecting him, but somehow he found himself falling apart once more. Seeing Kurama, having him here beside him, his warm, soft hand pressed to the Jaganshi's cheek, it was too much. Too hell with it all, he wanted to stay here! "Every time I 'rest' I lose you and I don't want it to happen again. I don't know which is real and I don't care anymore. I want this, here with you. If that's running away from the truth, then so be it."

Kurama didn't say anything, just stared down into Hiei's dark, shimmering eyes. "Hiei…I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here, I promise."

"No." Hiei shook his head again, sighing as he tried to make the fox understand. "It doesn't matter if you're here or not. You've been here next to me all the times before and it still happened. I don't want it to happen again. I want to stay here with you. I don't want to leave."

"Leave? And go where, Hiei?" Kurama asked worriedly. Hiei seemed genuinely scared. He was like a child, asking a parent to stay with him and keep him safe in the dark. Kurama had never thought Hiei would act this way, and seeing it now made his heart ache.

"You know where," Hiei half-growled, casting his eyes down and away from Kurama.

"No, I don't. Tell me where, Hiei," Kurama replied, using the hand Hiei had placed against his cheek to turn the fire demon's head towards him.

"To that place, that place you think is a nightmare but it's too damned real to be a nightmare! That place where…that place where I killed you." Hiei's voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper as he continued, pressing Kurama's hand harder against his face. "Where I…where I was selfish and stupid and now you're gone and all I have left is…is that stupid gem, that crystal heart I wanted so badly."

Hiei's eyes gazed up at him, sorrowful and pleading. Kurama felt his own eyes sting as he stared down at the shattered remnants of his lover. Hiei never acted like this. He was strong and icy; nothing could touch him; nothing could hurt him. And yet here he was, scared and broken, afraid even to sleep.

"Hiei…" Kurama whispered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears for his love's torment. Gently, he threaded his arms behind the fire demon's back and pulled him up to rest against his chest, the soft spikes of fur like hair tickling the fox's chin. "I want to help you, Hiei, and I will. I'll find a way to keep you here with me, I promise you that." Kurama trailed off, rubbing his nose in Hiei's hair. Hiei stiffened as he felt two drops of water drip into his hair and soak into his scalp. The fox was crying for him…that wasn't what he wanted. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the fox with his own troubles, and now he'd done it. This was why he was the Forbidden Child. It wasn't because he was incapable of love. It was because he always turned it into something ugly, something painful.

"Kurama, stop," he muttered quietly, his limp, weak arms coming up to encircle the fox's body. "Don't waste your tears on me."

"Waste them!" Kurama cried, pulling back and breaking the half-Koorime's weak hug. Hooking a finger under Hiei's lowed chin, he tried to force the other to look at him, but Hiei kept his eyes cast to the side and down. Kurama half growled in frustration. "Nothing I do is wasted on you, Hiei," he said firmly, still trying in vain to catch the shorter demon's gaze.

"Your pain for me is nothing but a wasted, pointless emotion," Hiei retorted, still staring at the floor.

"You are in pain," Kurama replied a little sharper than he meant to. "Is it so hard to believe that seeing you in such a state hurts me as well?"

"But you don't even understand the origin of that pain, fox! How can you be sympathetic of my pain when you don't even know why I feel it!" Hiei shot back, finally looking up to glare into those emerald pools. Kurama glared back for a moment before closing his eyes and sighing tiredly.

"Because that's what love is, Hiei," Kurama answered as he reopened his eyes, searching the narrowed crimson orbs before him for any signs of understanding. "When you hurt, I hurt. When you're sad, I'm sad. When you're happy, I'm happy. It doesn't matter why you feel these things, it's the fact you're the one feeling them that makes me return them."

Hiei's glare softened. He dropped his eyes and finally ducked his head beneath Kurama's chin as he hugged the redhead once again. Kurama was surprised by how little strength was behind the hug. It seemed an effort to Hiei just to keep his arms up around the fox's body. His friend was much weaker than he had originally thought.

"Hiei, please," Kurama whispered into the raven spikes, "try to sleep. I know you don't want to, but try to get some rest. Please."

Hiei didn't want to leave this place, he didn't want to go back to that other reality, but his body felt so heavy. It was taking all his strength just to hold the fox as he was now. His eyelids drooped and he nodded wearily against Kurama's shirt.

"Only for you, fox," he whispered as his eyes drifted fully shut, sleep claiming his exhausted body almost immediately.

(xxx)

Hiei stirred and wrinkled his nose at the smell of burning meat. Slowly he opened his eyes and had to blink a few times before he registered where he was. He was back, damn it all, back in the damned cottage in the damned world where he had damned himself to an eternity of misery.

"So you're up. For a while there I wondered if you would make it through the night," a voice made Hiei turn towards the table, his aching ribs protesting at the motion. There sat a tall, exotically dressed man with long blue hair and shimmering golden eyes. The playful smile and light tone of voice coupled with the blue hair reminded Hiei vaguely of a certain rather annoying deity.

"Who are you?" Hiei asked, eyeing the demon suspiciously.

"Don't you think you should introduce yourself first, and maybe tell me how you got all beat up like that? It is my house after all," the demon replied, still smiling. Hiei fingered the crystal heart beneath the covers and considered what the demon had said. Finally he sighed gave the demon a rather sadistic smirk.

"Alright," he agreed, "but I warn you, my story isn't a pleasant one. I myself can hardly stand to think about it."