Title: Amends
Author: Writer Girl
Summary/Teaser: Amends with a few changes and a better ending
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Joss Whedon et al own everything. Dialog from Amends. I am not the first person to do this type of fic.
Pairings: BA, CX, WO
Author e-mail: Everything up to and including Amends, season 2 of Buffy.
Feedback: PLEASE?
Rating: PG13 to be safe. Same as the show, really.
When Buffy got to the mansion, Angel was standing at the top of the hill.
"I bet half the kids down there are already awake, sneaking downstairs, waiting for day." He said softly.
"Angel, you have to get inside. It's almost sunrise." Buffy told him. He did not turn to face her. "I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes."
"I don't have time to explain." She told him. "You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you-"
"It wasn't haunting me." Angel interrupted. "It was showing me."
"Showing you?" Buffy asked in confusion.
"What I am." He explained.
"Were!" She responded immediately.
"And ever shall be." He finished for her. "I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do."
"You don't know." She argued. "Some big evil takes credit for bringing you back and you just accept it? You just give up?" She demanded incredulously.
"I can't do it again, Buffy." Angel said harshly. "I can't become a killer."
"You won't." Buffy told him. "You can't lose your soul unless you want to."
"I can't fight this, Buffy."
"Angel, please, you have to get inside." Buffy said desperately.
"It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to take you and lose my soul in you and become a monster again."
"I know what it told you. What does it matter?"
"Because I wanted to!" Angel shouted. "Because I want you so badly. I want to take comfort in you and I know it'll cost me my soul and part of me doesn't care." Shocked at what Angel had just said, Buffy stayed silent. "Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man."
"You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it." Buffy told him. He didn't want to believe her. He simply wanted it to be over. "Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends." She raised her voice. "But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster." The sky began to lighten as dawn approached. "Angel, please, the sun is coming up."
"Just go!" Angel ordered.
"I won't!" She shouted. "I love you."
"What, do you think this is simple?" Angel demanded. "You think there's an easy answer? You think you can tell me you love me and it's as easy as that? You can never understand what I've done! Now go!"
"You are not staying here." Buffy said firmly. She grabbed his arm. "I won't let you!"
Angel pulled his arm away from her. "I said LEAVE!" Without thinking, Buffy punched him. Angel shoved her hard and she fell face-first to the ground. Angel was horrified as he realized what he'd just done.
"Oh god…" He murmured. He crouched down beside her, grabbed her shoulders, and turned her around so that she faced him.
"No!" Buffy screamed.
He held her firmly. "Am I a thing worth saving, huh?" He shook her. "Am I a righteous man?" He shook her again. "The world wants me gone!"
"What about me?" Buffy asked tearfully. "Angel, I love you so much-and I've tried to make you go away; I killed you and it didn't help…and I hate it. I hate that it's so hard…that you can hurt me so much…I know everything you've done, because you did it to me. I wish I wished you dead. But I don't. I can't." Tears ran down Buffy's face, as for the first time she released the emotions she'd kept locked inside of herself.
"Buffy, please…" Angel plead. "Just this once, let me be strong."
"Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful and it's every day. It's what we have to do and we can do it together, but if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because..." The Slayer's tirade stopped mid-sentence. Both she and Angel looked up at the dark sky in awe. It was snowing.
Cordelia was sitting in her room unable to sleep when she saw the snow begin to fall outside her window. For a moment she just stared in amazement and disbelief, then quickly got dressed and climbed out through the window and down the trellis. She noticed immediately that it was cold out. Of course it's cold, it's snowing. She thought to herself, wrapping her coat tighter. She began to walk to the Xander's house, knowing he slept outside on the holidays and would not have been prepared for the sudden cold weather. When she arrived at the Harris house, Xander was, as expected, on the deck in the backyard. He was sitting hugging his knees to his chest and shivering. Cordelia rushed to his side, taking off her suede coat and draping it over his shoulders. She helped him up, wrapping her arms around him as she led him to the high school library.
Once they were at the library, Xander went to the locker room to change into his spare cloths while Cordelia used the microwave in Giles office to make the tea she'd found in the desk.
She handed Xander a mug of steaming tea.
"Thanks, Cordy." He said softly.
"I miss you, Xander." She admitted quietly. He looked at her, surprised.
"I miss you, too." He said.
"I'm still mad about the kiss." Cordelia warned him. "But I don't want to lose you."
"I am sorry, you know." Xander told her, looking down guiltily. She nodded.
"I do know." She promised. "And, eventually, after a lot more groveling on your part, I'll forgive you." She smirked, and pulled him into a deep kiss.
Giles woke up to the sight of falling snow and frosted windowpanes. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and slowly got out of bed, making his way over to the window.
Willow and Oz were cuddling up on the sofa, watching a movie.
"Does it usually snow in southern California?" Oz asked casually.
"No, why?" Willow answered.
"Cause it's snowing." He replied simply. Willow turned to the window and saw that he was right. It was snowing. She stopped the movie they'd been watching, they put on their jackets, and headed for the high school, where they knew the others were bound to show up.
Together Buffy and Angel made their way to the library to meet the others. Angel tightened his grip on Buffy's hand as they stepped into the library.
Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, and Giles were already sitting around the table talking when Buffy and Angel got there. Everyone fell silent upon seeing them. Giles stood up.
"Come, sit down." He said finally, gesturing toward the two empty chairs at the table. The couple sat down.
"Ooh, cookies!" Buffy exclaimed when she saw the holiday treats Giles had bought on his way to library. The others grinned.
Together they ate and laughed, joked and talked.
"This has got to be the best Christmas ever." Xander announced.
"Yeah. A White Christmas in Sunnydale. Who'd have thought?" Cordelia agreed. She got up, turned on a CD player, and pulled Xander up to dance with her. Buffy and Angel followed suit, along with Willow and Oz. Giles stood leaning against the counter watching the children he'd come to think of and love as his own dancing together happily, early Christmas morning, while the snow danced down from the heavens in Southern California. It truly was a perfect Christmas. And for the first time, Rupert Giles believed in miracles.