Long ago before Jecht ever thought about picking up a blitzball he had
given up on all academic ventures. He had never fancied the three
Rs,(reading, writing, and arithmetic) particularly the first two. Thus
school had been a pestering drag in his life. Every single day his stupid
teacher lecturing him about how he'd better 'buckled down and study' or he
would turn out to be a real nothing in life; being some low-life toilet
cleaner. He would always blow the old hag off. What did she know? Just
because she was a teacher (and had spiffy degrees and all that jazz) didn't
mean she was any smarter than he was, or did it? He wasn't sure and
thinking about such things made his tiny brain hurt. So he would always
push the thought out of his mind.
Fortunately for Jecht Mother Nature had been kind enough to exchange brainpower for sheer psychical ability (or he probably would have been that dreaded Toilet Cleaner).
But alas, every now and then Jecht would come to silently regret of not pursuing his metal abilities. Well, at least to the point where he didn't have to stop and look up every other word in the dictionary when had took to read something.
Tonight happened to be one of those 'every now and then' nights.
Jecht was sprawled out on the living room couch attempting to read the newspaper. Thanks to Auron, the horribly uncomfortable sit was now his temporary sleeping accommodations
He had turned to the Sports section, but he could hardly find any sport that didn't include himself appealing. He then figured he give the local 'Living News' section a try, but after running up on a snag of coming to the forth word he didn't understand, he flung the paper into the floor in frustration.
Jecht gave up on trying to entertain himself and decided to go to sleep, but he had a flat pillow.
Kolista, in her rage, had carelessly (or perhaps purposely) swooped up the less 'finer' bed adornments and dumped them on him and stormed into their bedroom and fell asleep.
Jecht fluffed up his pillow and cursed to himself as he tried to make do with what he had. "Damn woman, with her damn hot temper. Damn lousy uncomfortable couch. Damn Auron, with his damn big mouth. Man just wait until I figured out how to get him ba-"
Jecht ceased his swearing as something on the floor caught his attention. The newspaper he had tossed in the floor had flapped open to a rather interesting section. So interesting in fact that Jecht put away his conquest of sleep and the fact that he didn't like reading and rolled off the couch and crawled over to the exposed article of the Farplane Daily.
ARE YOU DESPERAT? ARE YOU LONELY? WAS YOUR LIFE CUT OFF BEFORE YOU COULD FIND THAT SPECIAL SOME ONE? THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! THE LOVE YOU ALWAYS DREAMED OF COULD BE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK! FILL OUT THE FORM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE THEN WRITE A PARAGRAPH TELLING US WHAT TYPE OF PERSON YOUR LOOKING FOR. DON'T WAIT! YOUR SOUL MATE IS WAITING FOR YOU!
A nasty cheesy grin (that his nasty cheesy son had inherited) illuminated Jecht's face. In a puff of smoke he disappeared into the kitchen and reemerged with a pen and piece of paper and began to write:
NAME: Auron RACE: Human SEX: Male HEIGHT: 6'0 AGE: 35
Jecht hesitated when it came time to write the personal paragraph. He had to come up with something that was embarrassing yet not humiliating to the point where his dear friend wouldn't get any responses. He wanted there to be lots of responses.
Jecht tapped this pen against his chin for a minute (ten minutes) then.EUREKA! It came to him. He'd just copy some stuff out of those sappy romance novels Kolista was always reading. Copying some one else's work beat doing your own any day, he had learned that much in High School.
Now, where did she keep them? "Hey honey, where do you keep your stupid romance novels," Jecht yelled down the hall to his wife completely ignoring the fact that it was two O'clock mornings.
" Find them your self you stink'in drunk" she snapped figuring that he must be drunk to bother her at such an hour.
Jecht muttered a few dirty words under his breath. This was going to take awhile.
Stories From The Farplan Episode II: No Need For Payback
"34.. 35.36.." Auron's jaw clenched as the tightness in his arms increased with each passing benched press causing every lift after to be more difficult." 37.38.39.40!" Auron let out a long breath and allowed his spotter (Braska) to assist him in putting the 250lb weight back into place.
Everyone in the gym cheered. Though it was not the heaviest weight that had ever been benched a small crowed had still assembled in admiration.
" Wow that was fantastic Sir Auron" a woman from the crowed praised.
" I never seen anyone train with such magnitude Sir Auron" another chimed in.
Even though Auron had no real need for the psychical exertion now that he was in the Farplane. He still couldn't break himself out of the habit of daily training.
Lord Braska smiled faintly at Auron as he tossed him a toile. He could tell by the lack luster expression on his face that he didn't appreciate the attention. It had been a week since his arrival and it was growing customary for Auron to draw attention when he worked out, but today was different. Today the audience was mostly composed of women.
Auron had noticed the over abundance of females in the Training Center when he first began his training session, but took into no consideration. Though now as he stood wiping the sweat from his body he started pondering their sudden appearance. "Braska tell me something. Is it costume for women here to ware make-up when they work out." Auron said motioning with his head to the group of women (whom had been watching him intently but upon seeing him turn his head towards them looked away.)
" I really wouldn't know, I rarely come in here and when I do there certainly aren't any ladies present, " Braska replied. Since being a summoner only require one to know their way around a white magic book and some Aeons, going to the gym wasn't on his priority list.
There was a short pause between the two. Then, after a minute or two of observing the ladies pathetic attempt at pull-ups Auron broke the silence. " I think maybe they are waiting for some one."
A sensual chuckle came from one of the women happened to be in hearing range. She leaned over and whispered to her friend " or maybe it's because of that sexy chest of his." This of course caused the group to giggle and blush to the point where even Summoner and former guardian caught eye.
Auron, who's training attire, included his pants and nothing else glared at them with his good eye. What was going on?
*** " Claire dear" Braska cooed to his wife in his smoothest voice that he reserved just for her. " What is the news with the ladies these days?"
Claire was in the process of making dinner and was focusing nearly all her attention on just that; she hardly grasped the question. " What do you mean?"
" What is the talk among you women today, you know the news." Braska replied nonchalantly as he sat to the kitchen table pretending to read a magazine.
From the time he had gotten home that afternoon up until now Lord Braska had been had been sizing up the right time to question his wife. Claire was making dinner now, so he guessed now was a best time as any.
She was always laughing and socializing with a good majority of the girls in the area. So he figured she must know something about what those women were chuckling about earlier.
" Well I think those long robs are starting to fall out of fashion. Most girls are starting to trash the other girls who ware them." Claire said without taking her eyes off the carrot she was cutting.
"Hmmm.is that so." Braska rose his magazine well up over his face to hide his frown. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. He tried again. "Anything else?"
Claire ignored her husband and drew a large spoon into the gravy she was making and took a taste. " Umm not enough basil." She remarked smack her lips loudly.
Braska peeked from the side of his magazine looking puzzled " Their talking about basil?"
" Got to be careful to add just a pinch, or the basil will over power the other spices. "
" Claire? Claire are you listening to me?"
" Just a little tiny-"
"CLAIRE!"
Braska's seldom-used deep voice startled his wife and made her use more of the basil than what she wanted. It was just a bit more, but being the cooking perfectionist that she was it was enough to make her blood presser rise and incise her to throw a fit.
" Lookwhatyoumademedo! Thestewisprobablyruinednow! Whyareyoualways botheringmewhenI'minthemiddleofsomething?" Claire spat flipping into her one-hundred-miles-a-minute yelling mode.
"Well I was just-"
"Youwerejustnothing! YouneverhaveanythingtosaytomeuntilIgetbusy! HowmanytimesdoIhavetotellyou: WhenI'mcookingIneedtoconcentrate!"
Braska rubbed his temples to keep from covering his ears. Claire had quite the high pitched voice when excited.
"Whyareyourubbingthesidesofyourheadlikethat? I'mIworkingonyournerves? Humm, am I?" Tears began to well up in her eyes as she fixed herself to turn on the waterworks." BecauseifIamIjustwantyoutoknowtheonlyreasonI'mdoingthis isforyoutomakeyou-"
" I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS TALK ABOUT TO DAY!" Braska screamed to silence his wife's roadrunner mouth.
"Oh" Claire chirped dropping the hysterics instantly and went back to work on her stew. "Well nothing really."
"Nothing.really" he repeated softly. "All that for nothing really?" Braska slammed his head down on the table, ready to give up on his half-ass interrogation.
"Well" she stopped and turned around "some of the girls have been talking about that romance ad in the paper."
"And" Braska sighed keeping his head down but kept conversation.
"I didn't catch his name, but" Claire wiped out a chair across from her husband and shifted into gossip mode and began to whisper for no particular reason. " Who ever he is, he must be a real dish. Every woman in the Farplan is writing in hoping to score a date."
Braska rose his head and stared off into space looking horrified. "Oh no, Auron's going to skewer Jecht for this one. I hope he didn't see it."
On cue, the doorbell rang.
" I'll get" Claire announced leaping from her seat before Braska had a chance to stop her.
" Honey wait! Don't open the-"
" Auron hello"
"Door." Braska let his head slam down on the table again. He tried to think positive. Maybe Auron was just coming over for dinner.
" Dear, Auron wants to talk to you."
Than again, why should he have such good luck. All he did was defeat Sin and cause a ten-year calm.
Braska lifted his head from the table again. He had already prepped his face with an innocent smile in anticipation for one of his friend's deepest scowls, but there was none. Instead Auron was.smiling. He was standing over him, smiling.
This sent a shiver up Braska's spine. Auron hardly ever smiled, often smirked, but never smiled.
" I want to ask you one thing" Auron spoke through a clenched jaw. " And I want you to tell me the truth." His hands shook in fury as he raised the full-page spread of the Romance Ad to the summoner's eye level. " Did you know about this."
Braska's eye's bulged out as he read the main paragraph aloud.
*** The woman that I woe must be fair and true. Delightful and classy; figure of a goddess with lips so supple they rival rose petals. My passionate kisses shall not be spent on anything less. She must have the grace of queen if I am to be her King***
" Oh and that's not all" the vain in Auron's head began to pulsate so fast Braska almost thought he heard it. " My hobbies include: Ballroom Dancing, long moonlit strolls, and reading poetry."
Lord Braska rubbed the back of his neck and gave an uneasy laugh. What the hell had Jecht done, copy that stuff out of a sappy romance novel? " Auron, friend believe me. I knew nothing about this."
"Good" Auron snapped as he rolled up the newspaper. " Then I assume you'll will have no problems lending me a sword or sharp weapon of some kind. I've seem to misplaced my Masamune and I need something to skewer Jecht with."
"Now Auron violence isn't the answer," Claire chided appearing out of nowhere. During the conversation she had carefully hidden herself away near by so she could be in hearing range, without being dismissed by her husband.
Braska jerked his head around to face his wife. Under normal circumstances he would have been furious with her, but seeing the situation he was pleased with her ejection. " Claire is quiet right. No need for violence. Just got to the Editor of the Paper in the morning and tell him there's been a mistake." Braska replied coolly.
" I've got a better ideal" Claire beamed butting into their conversation again. "You should go on some of those dates, have a good time; Show Jecht his plan backfired." She pulled out two bowls from the cabinet for Auron and Braska.
Auron shook his head, stubborn to the core " I shall do no such thing."
"Oh come on Auron. You've got every single woman in the Farplane after you." Braska added while his wife as she served the two men dinner.
" And even some of the married ones" Claire chimed in grinning.
Auron took a spoon full of his stew and swallowed. " Great. Now I can add home-wrecker to my list of accomplishments."
" I'm just saying give it a try, and besides think of all the ladies you'll disappoint." Claire persisted
"They'll just have to be disappointed." Auron glared down at his stew before taken another mouthful. He almost thought he saw Jecht laughing in his stew.
Claire, aggravated, clicked her tongue. " Fine, if your determined to be uncooperative then when we can just talk about something else."
" Fine." Auron took another spoon full of stew. This time he left the spoon in his mouth longer and savored the flavor. "Went kind of hard on basil, huh Claire?"
Braska start to cough and gage wildly as the wine that he had been drinking nearly came out through his nose. He shot his old friend a dirty look while his wife shot into a rage next beside him.
***
Auron never did get a around to beating up Jecht (though he certainly put it on his to-do list), who was tipped off by Lord Braska to stay out of sight.
Even thought Jecht bragged he wasn't afraid of Auron he took heed to the warning. He was in no hurry to get into any psychical confrontation with any body, especially Auron; what with that ache in his back and all. Damn couch.
What Auron did get around to doing however was getting ready for the first of his many dates. He sat on the bench in the park starring into the distance. He was disappointed in him self. He, even after all these years, was allowing him self to be emotionally blackmailed. And the Editor had thrown on quiet a load.
" What do mean you want a retraction?"
" That publication you printed was of falsehood. It didn't come from my hand, but a friend's who was playing a practical joke."
" But we've got so many letters here," the Editor ran his hands through a large pile of mail planted on his desk " and there all from women want score a date with you." He paused, "at least I'm pretty sure there all from women, but that's not the point. The point is all those lovely ladies that will be heartbroken."
" That is none of my concern."
"Always so blunt, no wonder your single" he uttered under his breath.
" What, " Auron (luckily for the Editor) been heading towards the door and was out of hearing range.
" I said, it's so sad. Some of those woman had never even had a chance to date before, because they had their live cut short by Sin," he sighed and gazed out the picture window of his office, " some of them are so lonely. They have no family or friends. They saw this as their golden opportunity.oh well. That's none of your concern."
Auron's clenched his jaw. He knew very well what the man was trying to do, and it had worked, " fine."
The Editor, who still had his back turned, suppressed a smile. "Fine what?"
" I'll do it, but only a few."
" That's wonderful," the man could no longer fight off the urge of showing his glee and a wild grin grew on his face. " Now where would you like to go on your first date? A fancy restaurant or a romantic picnic in the park?"
Auron had chosen the restaurant, but thought it would be easier on both him self and his date if they meant up in a discrete place.
"Hi, I'm Carmen," a young woman greeted, strolling up to Auron. "Hope I'm not to late."
Auron frowned behind his collar. The girl looked no more than 23. He had been made to believe that woman he'd be seeing that evening would be around his own age. "You are on time. Shall we leave?"
"Hey," she shouted as Auron's fast steps caused her to lag behind, "what's the rush. I thought you liked taking long moonlit strolls."
" If you are referring to that ad in the paper, then you've been misled," he stated flatly continuing his pace. He didn't wish to explain things further.
"Misled? Are you saying that you didn't write sweet, romantic, heart- pouring ad. That this whole thing was all some cruel joke from the people at The Farplan Daily," the young woman arched a brow.
" You are half correct. This dating nonsense was part of a joke-I doubt it was meant to be cruel. Also, though they played paws in this, the Farplan Daily is not directly responsible for this deception." Auron groaned, " a colleague of mine is."
"So then" she began, fixing her face into a snarl. "Why did you even bother to show up? Was it out of pitty," she hissed put her hands on hips. "Wait," a thought dawned on her "is this a pity date?"
" Well actually I was compelled to because-" a plan quickly hatched in Auron brain and he turned around to face her. "Yes, yes this is a pity date."
Auron assumed that now the young woman would feel as though he thought her desperate and her pride would over take her and she would go home.
Carmen ran up and latched on to Auron's arm "I'm fine with that. Let's go!"
He peered down at her "aren't you offended?"
" Yeah, alittle. But hey, living or dead it's hard to find a good man." She squeezed his arm, "especially with on with a reassume like yours, Sir Auron."
"Humph," just his luck she was shameless.
*** That night's date had gone terrible.
Carmen had proven to be wild and flirtatious while Auron remained his usually quite no-nonsense self.
Needless to say both had aggravated each other quite a bit and both went home with ill feelings. But at least the former guardian had thought one good thing had came of it. Carmen, that awful loudmouth woman, would go and tell anyone in the Farplane who would listen how rotten the night had been. Thus putting an end to this dating rubbish.
But sadly to say it was not the end.
Carmen, to spare her own ego, told all her friends that things had gone great. She was heard to say that Auron had been "a charming gentleman who knew how to treat lady."
That little white lie ended up causing Auron to lose many of his free nights to the single women of the Farplane.
But after 12th date and the 12th woman asking him "do you want to dance in the moonlight?" Auron put his foot down and refused to go on any more dates.
Now that his nights were free he took to doing what most dead Spirans did in their free time, watch the living.
The Omega Sphere was located in the center of the Farplane City. The Omega Sphere was described as generally being an over sized sphere, with the exception of its ability to view all of living Spira.
During the day the Omega Sphere were crowed. People who had so much to live for who had kicked the bucket way before their time packed along the outer rims of the sphere hoping to catch a glimpse of their loved ones.
It could be pathetic at times, the way dead marveled at the living. That's was why Auron would wait until night come around.
Gazing through the aquamarine glow of the Omega Sphere Auron took note to just how much Spira had changed; reverting back to the way it had been those thousand years ago. Then he started to wonder how they were doing. Ah yes, that group of young people that had helped him destroy Yu Yevon and end the spiral of death. How were they all? Auron began to focus his mind towards the village of Beside when his thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a loud feminine cough.
"Excuse me," the woman said flatly.
"Yes," Auron replied not taking his attention from the sphere.
"Your in my spot."
"Have your name on it?"
"Well if you want to get technical, just look beneath you."
Auron glanced down to see the letters S-A-M-A-N-T-H-A carved into the concrete. "My apologies," he whispered and moved out the way.
There was silence for a between them; both observing a Blitzball game at Luca.
During the fourth half of the game the match was solidly set for the home team with the score: 21-0. The opposing team was angry, they knew it was the end, so in a rage one of their stronger players came up behind the star player of the home team and knocked him clear into the stands.
"Pathetic," Auron and the woman snorted together in disgust. They turned to each other, and the woman smiled.
"Sourer loser."
"It's always like this," Auron replied. "A very unruly sport with no respect; that is why I do not care for Blitzball."
The woman's smile faded, "you don't like Blitzball?"
"No."
"Neither.. do I," the woman stared at the former Guardian in amazement.
"Then why are you watching it," Auron inquired.
"I thought you were watching it."
"Why didn't you change it."
"I felt bad for making you move," she said still looking amazed. " I never meant anyone that didn't love that moronic game. Tell me, what else don't you like?"
Auron smirked, "it would be a rather long list. I don't think you wish to hear it."
Samantha gave a short laugh, "Believe me I've got nothing but time Mr." she hadn't caught his name.
"Auron," he said taking a good look at the woman; she was slender with a coffee complication and she strait ebony hair that was tied back. She wasn't wearing any make up so he found it easy to guess her age; he suspected it to be between 31 and 34.
"Well Auron, I've been having family problems," Samantha dropped down to her knees. " My sisters have really been on nerves, that's why I came off a little snappy at you about my spot-sorry by the way."
"Apology accepted. Sibling tension is understandable, " Auron got a mental vision of himself strangling Jecht.
" They keep meddling in my personal affairs. They insist that I should find some one and they've both been getting obsessed with the idea. I could just bash their heads together for what they did last time," she hissed.
"What did they do."
"They put me in that damn love ad in paper."
That sparked Auron's attention, "they did that to you?"
"Yeah," she whispered turning her head, she regret telling him that.
Auron completely turned around to face her, "don't be ashamed. A friend of mine-he's more like a brother--did the same to me."
Samantha's smile returned, "well, don't we have a lot in common: We both hate Blitzball and we both want to beat the tar out of loved ones."
"Yes that is very odd," Auron noticed Samantha stumbled coming up from her knees, and grabbed hold of her hand to helped her up.
"So ya gonna to tell me, " she said folding her arms.
"Tell you what?"
"Are you going to tell me what bugs you."
Auron chuckled, " you want to listen to me to me complain?"
"It's not complaining," Samantha stated defensively. "It's openly voicing your opinion on things you find disheartening."
Auron smiled, "where should I start."
"The beginning."
"That's very long."
Samantha reached for Auron's hand, "the best stories always are."
Fortunately for Jecht Mother Nature had been kind enough to exchange brainpower for sheer psychical ability (or he probably would have been that dreaded Toilet Cleaner).
But alas, every now and then Jecht would come to silently regret of not pursuing his metal abilities. Well, at least to the point where he didn't have to stop and look up every other word in the dictionary when had took to read something.
Tonight happened to be one of those 'every now and then' nights.
Jecht was sprawled out on the living room couch attempting to read the newspaper. Thanks to Auron, the horribly uncomfortable sit was now his temporary sleeping accommodations
He had turned to the Sports section, but he could hardly find any sport that didn't include himself appealing. He then figured he give the local 'Living News' section a try, but after running up on a snag of coming to the forth word he didn't understand, he flung the paper into the floor in frustration.
Jecht gave up on trying to entertain himself and decided to go to sleep, but he had a flat pillow.
Kolista, in her rage, had carelessly (or perhaps purposely) swooped up the less 'finer' bed adornments and dumped them on him and stormed into their bedroom and fell asleep.
Jecht fluffed up his pillow and cursed to himself as he tried to make do with what he had. "Damn woman, with her damn hot temper. Damn lousy uncomfortable couch. Damn Auron, with his damn big mouth. Man just wait until I figured out how to get him ba-"
Jecht ceased his swearing as something on the floor caught his attention. The newspaper he had tossed in the floor had flapped open to a rather interesting section. So interesting in fact that Jecht put away his conquest of sleep and the fact that he didn't like reading and rolled off the couch and crawled over to the exposed article of the Farplane Daily.
ARE YOU DESPERAT? ARE YOU LONELY? WAS YOUR LIFE CUT OFF BEFORE YOU COULD FIND THAT SPECIAL SOME ONE? THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! THE LOVE YOU ALWAYS DREAMED OF COULD BE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK! FILL OUT THE FORM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE THEN WRITE A PARAGRAPH TELLING US WHAT TYPE OF PERSON YOUR LOOKING FOR. DON'T WAIT! YOUR SOUL MATE IS WAITING FOR YOU!
A nasty cheesy grin (that his nasty cheesy son had inherited) illuminated Jecht's face. In a puff of smoke he disappeared into the kitchen and reemerged with a pen and piece of paper and began to write:
NAME: Auron RACE: Human SEX: Male HEIGHT: 6'0 AGE: 35
Jecht hesitated when it came time to write the personal paragraph. He had to come up with something that was embarrassing yet not humiliating to the point where his dear friend wouldn't get any responses. He wanted there to be lots of responses.
Jecht tapped this pen against his chin for a minute (ten minutes) then.EUREKA! It came to him. He'd just copy some stuff out of those sappy romance novels Kolista was always reading. Copying some one else's work beat doing your own any day, he had learned that much in High School.
Now, where did she keep them? "Hey honey, where do you keep your stupid romance novels," Jecht yelled down the hall to his wife completely ignoring the fact that it was two O'clock mornings.
" Find them your self you stink'in drunk" she snapped figuring that he must be drunk to bother her at such an hour.
Jecht muttered a few dirty words under his breath. This was going to take awhile.
Stories From The Farplan Episode II: No Need For Payback
"34.. 35.36.." Auron's jaw clenched as the tightness in his arms increased with each passing benched press causing every lift after to be more difficult." 37.38.39.40!" Auron let out a long breath and allowed his spotter (Braska) to assist him in putting the 250lb weight back into place.
Everyone in the gym cheered. Though it was not the heaviest weight that had ever been benched a small crowed had still assembled in admiration.
" Wow that was fantastic Sir Auron" a woman from the crowed praised.
" I never seen anyone train with such magnitude Sir Auron" another chimed in.
Even though Auron had no real need for the psychical exertion now that he was in the Farplane. He still couldn't break himself out of the habit of daily training.
Lord Braska smiled faintly at Auron as he tossed him a toile. He could tell by the lack luster expression on his face that he didn't appreciate the attention. It had been a week since his arrival and it was growing customary for Auron to draw attention when he worked out, but today was different. Today the audience was mostly composed of women.
Auron had noticed the over abundance of females in the Training Center when he first began his training session, but took into no consideration. Though now as he stood wiping the sweat from his body he started pondering their sudden appearance. "Braska tell me something. Is it costume for women here to ware make-up when they work out." Auron said motioning with his head to the group of women (whom had been watching him intently but upon seeing him turn his head towards them looked away.)
" I really wouldn't know, I rarely come in here and when I do there certainly aren't any ladies present, " Braska replied. Since being a summoner only require one to know their way around a white magic book and some Aeons, going to the gym wasn't on his priority list.
There was a short pause between the two. Then, after a minute or two of observing the ladies pathetic attempt at pull-ups Auron broke the silence. " I think maybe they are waiting for some one."
A sensual chuckle came from one of the women happened to be in hearing range. She leaned over and whispered to her friend " or maybe it's because of that sexy chest of his." This of course caused the group to giggle and blush to the point where even Summoner and former guardian caught eye.
Auron, who's training attire, included his pants and nothing else glared at them with his good eye. What was going on?
*** " Claire dear" Braska cooed to his wife in his smoothest voice that he reserved just for her. " What is the news with the ladies these days?"
Claire was in the process of making dinner and was focusing nearly all her attention on just that; she hardly grasped the question. " What do you mean?"
" What is the talk among you women today, you know the news." Braska replied nonchalantly as he sat to the kitchen table pretending to read a magazine.
From the time he had gotten home that afternoon up until now Lord Braska had been had been sizing up the right time to question his wife. Claire was making dinner now, so he guessed now was a best time as any.
She was always laughing and socializing with a good majority of the girls in the area. So he figured she must know something about what those women were chuckling about earlier.
" Well I think those long robs are starting to fall out of fashion. Most girls are starting to trash the other girls who ware them." Claire said without taking her eyes off the carrot she was cutting.
"Hmmm.is that so." Braska rose his magazine well up over his face to hide his frown. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. He tried again. "Anything else?"
Claire ignored her husband and drew a large spoon into the gravy she was making and took a taste. " Umm not enough basil." She remarked smack her lips loudly.
Braska peeked from the side of his magazine looking puzzled " Their talking about basil?"
" Got to be careful to add just a pinch, or the basil will over power the other spices. "
" Claire? Claire are you listening to me?"
" Just a little tiny-"
"CLAIRE!"
Braska's seldom-used deep voice startled his wife and made her use more of the basil than what she wanted. It was just a bit more, but being the cooking perfectionist that she was it was enough to make her blood presser rise and incise her to throw a fit.
" Lookwhatyoumademedo! Thestewisprobablyruinednow! Whyareyoualways botheringmewhenI'minthemiddleofsomething?" Claire spat flipping into her one-hundred-miles-a-minute yelling mode.
"Well I was just-"
"Youwerejustnothing! YouneverhaveanythingtosaytomeuntilIgetbusy! HowmanytimesdoIhavetotellyou: WhenI'mcookingIneedtoconcentrate!"
Braska rubbed his temples to keep from covering his ears. Claire had quite the high pitched voice when excited.
"Whyareyourubbingthesidesofyourheadlikethat? I'mIworkingonyournerves? Humm, am I?" Tears began to well up in her eyes as she fixed herself to turn on the waterworks." BecauseifIamIjustwantyoutoknowtheonlyreasonI'mdoingthis isforyoutomakeyou-"
" I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS TALK ABOUT TO DAY!" Braska screamed to silence his wife's roadrunner mouth.
"Oh" Claire chirped dropping the hysterics instantly and went back to work on her stew. "Well nothing really."
"Nothing.really" he repeated softly. "All that for nothing really?" Braska slammed his head down on the table, ready to give up on his half-ass interrogation.
"Well" she stopped and turned around "some of the girls have been talking about that romance ad in the paper."
"And" Braska sighed keeping his head down but kept conversation.
"I didn't catch his name, but" Claire wiped out a chair across from her husband and shifted into gossip mode and began to whisper for no particular reason. " Who ever he is, he must be a real dish. Every woman in the Farplan is writing in hoping to score a date."
Braska rose his head and stared off into space looking horrified. "Oh no, Auron's going to skewer Jecht for this one. I hope he didn't see it."
On cue, the doorbell rang.
" I'll get" Claire announced leaping from her seat before Braska had a chance to stop her.
" Honey wait! Don't open the-"
" Auron hello"
"Door." Braska let his head slam down on the table again. He tried to think positive. Maybe Auron was just coming over for dinner.
" Dear, Auron wants to talk to you."
Than again, why should he have such good luck. All he did was defeat Sin and cause a ten-year calm.
Braska lifted his head from the table again. He had already prepped his face with an innocent smile in anticipation for one of his friend's deepest scowls, but there was none. Instead Auron was.smiling. He was standing over him, smiling.
This sent a shiver up Braska's spine. Auron hardly ever smiled, often smirked, but never smiled.
" I want to ask you one thing" Auron spoke through a clenched jaw. " And I want you to tell me the truth." His hands shook in fury as he raised the full-page spread of the Romance Ad to the summoner's eye level. " Did you know about this."
Braska's eye's bulged out as he read the main paragraph aloud.
*** The woman that I woe must be fair and true. Delightful and classy; figure of a goddess with lips so supple they rival rose petals. My passionate kisses shall not be spent on anything less. She must have the grace of queen if I am to be her King***
" Oh and that's not all" the vain in Auron's head began to pulsate so fast Braska almost thought he heard it. " My hobbies include: Ballroom Dancing, long moonlit strolls, and reading poetry."
Lord Braska rubbed the back of his neck and gave an uneasy laugh. What the hell had Jecht done, copy that stuff out of a sappy romance novel? " Auron, friend believe me. I knew nothing about this."
"Good" Auron snapped as he rolled up the newspaper. " Then I assume you'll will have no problems lending me a sword or sharp weapon of some kind. I've seem to misplaced my Masamune and I need something to skewer Jecht with."
"Now Auron violence isn't the answer," Claire chided appearing out of nowhere. During the conversation she had carefully hidden herself away near by so she could be in hearing range, without being dismissed by her husband.
Braska jerked his head around to face his wife. Under normal circumstances he would have been furious with her, but seeing the situation he was pleased with her ejection. " Claire is quiet right. No need for violence. Just got to the Editor of the Paper in the morning and tell him there's been a mistake." Braska replied coolly.
" I've got a better ideal" Claire beamed butting into their conversation again. "You should go on some of those dates, have a good time; Show Jecht his plan backfired." She pulled out two bowls from the cabinet for Auron and Braska.
Auron shook his head, stubborn to the core " I shall do no such thing."
"Oh come on Auron. You've got every single woman in the Farplane after you." Braska added while his wife as she served the two men dinner.
" And even some of the married ones" Claire chimed in grinning.
Auron took a spoon full of his stew and swallowed. " Great. Now I can add home-wrecker to my list of accomplishments."
" I'm just saying give it a try, and besides think of all the ladies you'll disappoint." Claire persisted
"They'll just have to be disappointed." Auron glared down at his stew before taken another mouthful. He almost thought he saw Jecht laughing in his stew.
Claire, aggravated, clicked her tongue. " Fine, if your determined to be uncooperative then when we can just talk about something else."
" Fine." Auron took another spoon full of stew. This time he left the spoon in his mouth longer and savored the flavor. "Went kind of hard on basil, huh Claire?"
Braska start to cough and gage wildly as the wine that he had been drinking nearly came out through his nose. He shot his old friend a dirty look while his wife shot into a rage next beside him.
***
Auron never did get a around to beating up Jecht (though he certainly put it on his to-do list), who was tipped off by Lord Braska to stay out of sight.
Even thought Jecht bragged he wasn't afraid of Auron he took heed to the warning. He was in no hurry to get into any psychical confrontation with any body, especially Auron; what with that ache in his back and all. Damn couch.
What Auron did get around to doing however was getting ready for the first of his many dates. He sat on the bench in the park starring into the distance. He was disappointed in him self. He, even after all these years, was allowing him self to be emotionally blackmailed. And the Editor had thrown on quiet a load.
" What do mean you want a retraction?"
" That publication you printed was of falsehood. It didn't come from my hand, but a friend's who was playing a practical joke."
" But we've got so many letters here," the Editor ran his hands through a large pile of mail planted on his desk " and there all from women want score a date with you." He paused, "at least I'm pretty sure there all from women, but that's not the point. The point is all those lovely ladies that will be heartbroken."
" That is none of my concern."
"Always so blunt, no wonder your single" he uttered under his breath.
" What, " Auron (luckily for the Editor) been heading towards the door and was out of hearing range.
" I said, it's so sad. Some of those woman had never even had a chance to date before, because they had their live cut short by Sin," he sighed and gazed out the picture window of his office, " some of them are so lonely. They have no family or friends. They saw this as their golden opportunity.oh well. That's none of your concern."
Auron's clenched his jaw. He knew very well what the man was trying to do, and it had worked, " fine."
The Editor, who still had his back turned, suppressed a smile. "Fine what?"
" I'll do it, but only a few."
" That's wonderful," the man could no longer fight off the urge of showing his glee and a wild grin grew on his face. " Now where would you like to go on your first date? A fancy restaurant or a romantic picnic in the park?"
Auron had chosen the restaurant, but thought it would be easier on both him self and his date if they meant up in a discrete place.
"Hi, I'm Carmen," a young woman greeted, strolling up to Auron. "Hope I'm not to late."
Auron frowned behind his collar. The girl looked no more than 23. He had been made to believe that woman he'd be seeing that evening would be around his own age. "You are on time. Shall we leave?"
"Hey," she shouted as Auron's fast steps caused her to lag behind, "what's the rush. I thought you liked taking long moonlit strolls."
" If you are referring to that ad in the paper, then you've been misled," he stated flatly continuing his pace. He didn't wish to explain things further.
"Misled? Are you saying that you didn't write sweet, romantic, heart- pouring ad. That this whole thing was all some cruel joke from the people at The Farplan Daily," the young woman arched a brow.
" You are half correct. This dating nonsense was part of a joke-I doubt it was meant to be cruel. Also, though they played paws in this, the Farplan Daily is not directly responsible for this deception." Auron groaned, " a colleague of mine is."
"So then" she began, fixing her face into a snarl. "Why did you even bother to show up? Was it out of pitty," she hissed put her hands on hips. "Wait," a thought dawned on her "is this a pity date?"
" Well actually I was compelled to because-" a plan quickly hatched in Auron brain and he turned around to face her. "Yes, yes this is a pity date."
Auron assumed that now the young woman would feel as though he thought her desperate and her pride would over take her and she would go home.
Carmen ran up and latched on to Auron's arm "I'm fine with that. Let's go!"
He peered down at her "aren't you offended?"
" Yeah, alittle. But hey, living or dead it's hard to find a good man." She squeezed his arm, "especially with on with a reassume like yours, Sir Auron."
"Humph," just his luck she was shameless.
*** That night's date had gone terrible.
Carmen had proven to be wild and flirtatious while Auron remained his usually quite no-nonsense self.
Needless to say both had aggravated each other quite a bit and both went home with ill feelings. But at least the former guardian had thought one good thing had came of it. Carmen, that awful loudmouth woman, would go and tell anyone in the Farplane who would listen how rotten the night had been. Thus putting an end to this dating rubbish.
But sadly to say it was not the end.
Carmen, to spare her own ego, told all her friends that things had gone great. She was heard to say that Auron had been "a charming gentleman who knew how to treat lady."
That little white lie ended up causing Auron to lose many of his free nights to the single women of the Farplane.
But after 12th date and the 12th woman asking him "do you want to dance in the moonlight?" Auron put his foot down and refused to go on any more dates.
Now that his nights were free he took to doing what most dead Spirans did in their free time, watch the living.
The Omega Sphere was located in the center of the Farplane City. The Omega Sphere was described as generally being an over sized sphere, with the exception of its ability to view all of living Spira.
During the day the Omega Sphere were crowed. People who had so much to live for who had kicked the bucket way before their time packed along the outer rims of the sphere hoping to catch a glimpse of their loved ones.
It could be pathetic at times, the way dead marveled at the living. That's was why Auron would wait until night come around.
Gazing through the aquamarine glow of the Omega Sphere Auron took note to just how much Spira had changed; reverting back to the way it had been those thousand years ago. Then he started to wonder how they were doing. Ah yes, that group of young people that had helped him destroy Yu Yevon and end the spiral of death. How were they all? Auron began to focus his mind towards the village of Beside when his thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a loud feminine cough.
"Excuse me," the woman said flatly.
"Yes," Auron replied not taking his attention from the sphere.
"Your in my spot."
"Have your name on it?"
"Well if you want to get technical, just look beneath you."
Auron glanced down to see the letters S-A-M-A-N-T-H-A carved into the concrete. "My apologies," he whispered and moved out the way.
There was silence for a between them; both observing a Blitzball game at Luca.
During the fourth half of the game the match was solidly set for the home team with the score: 21-0. The opposing team was angry, they knew it was the end, so in a rage one of their stronger players came up behind the star player of the home team and knocked him clear into the stands.
"Pathetic," Auron and the woman snorted together in disgust. They turned to each other, and the woman smiled.
"Sourer loser."
"It's always like this," Auron replied. "A very unruly sport with no respect; that is why I do not care for Blitzball."
The woman's smile faded, "you don't like Blitzball?"
"No."
"Neither.. do I," the woman stared at the former Guardian in amazement.
"Then why are you watching it," Auron inquired.
"I thought you were watching it."
"Why didn't you change it."
"I felt bad for making you move," she said still looking amazed. " I never meant anyone that didn't love that moronic game. Tell me, what else don't you like?"
Auron smirked, "it would be a rather long list. I don't think you wish to hear it."
Samantha gave a short laugh, "Believe me I've got nothing but time Mr." she hadn't caught his name.
"Auron," he said taking a good look at the woman; she was slender with a coffee complication and she strait ebony hair that was tied back. She wasn't wearing any make up so he found it easy to guess her age; he suspected it to be between 31 and 34.
"Well Auron, I've been having family problems," Samantha dropped down to her knees. " My sisters have really been on nerves, that's why I came off a little snappy at you about my spot-sorry by the way."
"Apology accepted. Sibling tension is understandable, " Auron got a mental vision of himself strangling Jecht.
" They keep meddling in my personal affairs. They insist that I should find some one and they've both been getting obsessed with the idea. I could just bash their heads together for what they did last time," she hissed.
"What did they do."
"They put me in that damn love ad in paper."
That sparked Auron's attention, "they did that to you?"
"Yeah," she whispered turning her head, she regret telling him that.
Auron completely turned around to face her, "don't be ashamed. A friend of mine-he's more like a brother--did the same to me."
Samantha's smile returned, "well, don't we have a lot in common: We both hate Blitzball and we both want to beat the tar out of loved ones."
"Yes that is very odd," Auron noticed Samantha stumbled coming up from her knees, and grabbed hold of her hand to helped her up.
"So ya gonna to tell me, " she said folding her arms.
"Tell you what?"
"Are you going to tell me what bugs you."
Auron chuckled, " you want to listen to me to me complain?"
"It's not complaining," Samantha stated defensively. "It's openly voicing your opinion on things you find disheartening."
Auron smiled, "where should I start."
"The beginning."
"That's very long."
Samantha reached for Auron's hand, "the best stories always are."