Author Note: I updated because I was depressed and I know updating makes others happy, so here. Next chapter I'll reply to all your reviews like I normally do. I just don't feel…motivated right now.
Chapter 22: It won't be long
"Well, I do think you're pretty cute" Dylan's babyish voice rang out over the tidal waves that were crashing in Marco's ears. He was poised under him, a shadow casting under his lips and his eyes lowered down to equally look into his.
His heart broke.
Marco remained silent. Kiss me; kiss me, his lips pleaded.
What if he just took it all back?
The date, the kiss, their eyes locking across the lunch room?
Everything?
Jake shuddered under him, stop shaking, Marco urged silently. Stop fucking shaking.
" Mike- Mikey?" Jake stuttered out.
"Adrian?" Michael asked.
"No- no, Mikey, it's me. Jak- Jakey"
"Jake, you have to let him sleep"
"No Alesso"
Marco let go of him, that name, that name…
"I wanna talk to Mikey real quick"
"Look, Jake." Michael said, tiredly. He pursed his lips together," Look at me, Jake. Look what happens when we're together"
"You called me Adrian….Adrian as in Adrian Asher?"
"…no"
"Liar" Jake said darkly.
"Does it matter?"
"Say your sorry"
"No"
"What?"
"No"
"Jake" Marco said softly.
"No, Alesso"
"Jake" Michael said sharply, jolting Jake from his haze," Stop" He repeated the voice of how Marco sounded from an hour ago and Jake froze up." Just…leave me alone…" His breath was short as Jake stared into his wide eyes, confused, so confused and tired…and childish
Childish innocence,
That wasn't his Jake.
"Why?" Jake's voice cracked.
"Marco, please, just get him away from me" Michael asked softly. His eyes fluttered close.
"Morning, sunshine, wake up and smile" Ryan said happily.
Andy had his thumb in his mouth as Pete kicked him awake and was met with Marco's bemused stare. "Did you sleep well?"
"Like a rock" Andy smiled.
Pete and Ryan snorted on their cereal. Marco smiled sweetly and stuck his head into the bowl of cereal.
"Is he dead?" Pete asked after 5 minutes of quietness.
'No" Ryan replied, shaking his head," He's alive. That's…well…you'll see"
Marco raised his head," Sorry"
"So, how long can you stay down?" Andy asked with interest.
Pete snorted again.
"Pretty long, I can show you if you want" Marco replied.
Ryan coughed a little bit.
"I'd love you to…" Andy said simply, returning to sticking the spoon in his mouth." You see, the thing is with oatmeal, you can just suc-"
"Andy, wasn't last night fun?" Pete cut off, seeing where the conversation was going.
"Yes, it was fabulous" He said with a smile.
Ryan chewed a little," Brilliant is what it was, we have to do it again"
"Tonight?" Andy asked quickly.
"Aren't you the egger beaver?" Pete cracked.
"No, but I have on-"
Ryan cut Andy off," Yeah…so, how's Jake?"
Marco seemed oblivious to all of Andy's remarks. "He's…I dunno. Weird. Something is going on between him and Michael…"
"Well they're at that age…." Andy said softly.
"Of what?" Pete asked, falsely confused.
"Well, when I was their age, I remember I felt really alone and confused, I needed my comfort and since my best friend turned on me after he found out I was gay I had nobody. Maybe that happened between them. One of them needed each other at a pivotal time and the other wasn't there to save them. Hence being bitter and remorse. Like I said, they're at that age" Andy said, justifying his beliefs.
Everybody stared at him.
"What? This fairy has a past of doom and gloom" He said quietly.
"Wow" Pete murmured.
"Are you showing affection?" Andy asked, amused.
"No I can't believe you said pivotal without laughing" Pete cleared up.
Ryan smirked." He's probably right, you know Marco"
"Probably" Marco echoed, sucking on his spoon. "Sometimes it's hard to have a kid"
"At least you're not a sugar daddy" Andy said charmingly.
"Why don't you walk your ass over to Queer as folk and get it over with" Pete murmured to himself, but Andy heard him anyway.
"Don't hate because I'm fabulous" Andy said seriously, "Emmett ain't got shit on me"
"Yeah, now let's not get ahead of ourselves" Ryan warned.
"You watch that show…but isn't it…gay?" Pete asked with mock horror.
"Bite me" Ryan said darkly.
"Adorable, You two act as if you're going out or something" Marco laughed.
"Funny, I always say the same thing" Andy said, smirking at Pete.
"Too bad it isn't true. I think he's hot" Pete smiled, curling his tongue and winking at Ryan.
Oh, he was good.
"Anyways, if we're gonna get serious. I'd do Brian" Marco said.
"Wouldn't we all, hun?" Andy asked.
"I'd do Ted" Pete said," Something about a guy with low self esteem turns me on" He directed the comment at Ryan.
"I'd do Justin, I guess. He doesn't take shit" Ryan says.
"Id' do Emmett" Andy said happily.
"Like doing your reflection…" Pete smiled softly.
"So?"
Marco rolled his eyes," Who wants more food?"
"Oh, I do, you have to show me how you do that thing with your head…" Andy said, getting up and following Marco out of the room. Once they were gone Pete and Ryan looked at each other," You're an real ass hole, you know that, you said some mean shit"
"You take mean shit" Pete said truthfully.
"Stop that"
"You stop"
"You're making me so fucking…"
"Angry?" Pete asked.
Ryan looked at him, he wasn't angry…
"Oh…" Pete smirked, moving closer. Mere inches away from Ryan before Jake came back in with tears in his eyes and a razor blade in his hand, "Where the fuck is Michael?" He demanded, fierce blaze burning in his eyes. Ryan just shoved Pete away again," I dunno. Look downstairs. Why?"
"Because I found this razor with blood on it, that's why" Jake snapped, he grabbed Ryan's hand," Help me look for him"
Pete got up and sighed, following behind him slowly and went out the room
"Michael? Michael?" Jake yelled, yelling through the house. Everybody else woke up," What's happening?" Mark asked Ryan.
"I dunno, Michael is missing" Ryan replied.
"Michael's right here" Mark said, pointing towards his brother
Ryan smiled warmly," No, Jake's friend Michael"
"Okay" Mark said, taking his brother's hand and going downstairs," We're gonna go watch the cookie monster"
"Barney" Mike objected.
"Cookie Monster!" Mark said angrily.
Ryan watched as they went down stairs:" Okay, they're weird"
"Michael, come on, where the fuck are you?" Jake yelled out again.
"Hey, what's with the yelling?" Marco asked as he came up the steps, Andy in tow behind him smiling goofily. He mouthed to Ryan "Nice ass"
"Michael's missing" Jake said hurriedly.
"No he's not" Marco said softly," He's down stairs, why-"
He was cut off as Jake ran past him. " Should we follow him…?"
There was a sharp gasp and yell in the kitchen.
"I think so" Andy said as they all went down the steps to see what was going on.
They all crowded into the kitchen to see Jake straddling Michael's waist, anger flailing in his eyes and his arms tightly pinning Michael's wrist to the floor. " Let go of him, Jake" Marco yelled.
"You…you promised never again" Jake seethed out darkly, his nails digging into Michael's flesh.
Michael looked pale," Wha-"
"The razor has blood on it, Mike, don't try and deny me" Jake snapped.
"So…so what?"
"You- you promise-" Jake stuttered out.
"How can I make a promise, Jakey? I can't make them anymore, promises hurt the relationship"
"Relationship?" Andy echoed.
Pete stared on in interest as Ryan ran a hand through his hair," This isn't my fault" Michael yelled.
"Yes it is" Jake yelled back.
"You made me do it in the first place" Michael yelled, tiredly," Get the fuck off of me, Jakey. You're hurting my legs"
"Why, did you do it?" Jake asked softly, his eyes welling up with tears.
"You should know-"
"No, why did you leave…leave me. Leave us? I needed you" Jake gasped out.
"Jakey, no, not now. Not here…Marco, Andy, um anyone. Help?" Michael asked weakly.
All the boys were so wrapped up in the drama they forgot to pull Jake off of Michael.
"Why the hell is he acting like this?" Ryan asked Marco.
Marco shrugged," I'm worried about that myself, Jake?" He paused, looking at his son, " Jakey, come on, stop attacking Michael-"
"NO!" Jake snapped, looking at Marco with wide eyes," YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE DID TO ME! YOU DON'T KNOW SO JUST STAY OUT OF THIS!"
Marco looked struck by lightening," Jakey-"
"Marco, I'm sorry" Michael apologized for him," Jake is…um…"
Jake tried to hit Michael again but he moved out of the way," Stop it Jake, this is not the past, I'm not that same boy from before, I'm not afraid to hit back"
"This has your blood on it, we could get hurt if I hadn't had found it" Jake yelled.
"I-" Michael stopped himself," I'm sorry. I forgot to wrap it up…"
"So you cut yourself and then you decided that when I use the blade I'll die with you?" Jake said, not making any sense,
"Shhh…Jakey….stop saying all of this, you know you don't mean it" Andy said softly.
Jake glared at him" Back the fuck off"
"Jake!" Marco yelled.
"I want you to know that what you're doing is killing me. How you're living is killing me. Being here…"
"Is killing you?" Michael asked with a wry smile," Seeing me is killing you, being this close to me is killing you" He took a few steps forwards," Everything is still about you Jakey? Huh, what about me? What about Adrian, what about my cutting, what about my life?" He moved closer," My pain…my sorrow…my hurt.." He was inches from his face," My curse, my…love? What about me, Jakey? Do you wander about me?"
Jake's eyes seemed blank as he reach up with the razor in his hand and stared at Michael hard in the eyes," I don't want you to die"
"I'm not dead yet" Michael whispered.
"Soon you will be"
"Until then, don't do this. Don't make life harder for me, Jakey. Can you do that? Can you promise me that?" Michael asked, his own voice cracking.
Everybody else looked on with confusion and hope, Pete leaning on Ryan, who was leaning on Andy, who was leaning on Marco, who was sighing heavily. Why did he always have to put up with the drama?
" Then you do want me to die," Michael said crookedly.
Jake shook his head wildly," No- I didn't mean it be- before, Mikey"
"Yeah, you did" Michael said dismissively," You said," I hate you and I hope that what you did to me comes back tenfold on you with the wrath of God" and then you slapped me, remember?" He smiled crookedly and held up the razor," Well it did, it came back worse than you could ever wish, Jakey"
"I didn't mean-"
"Words are fucking powerful" Michael said quickly." Sorry's and promises aren't keeping me alive any longer, you're not my Jakey from before, you're some…boy with bitter eyes and a knack for killing relationships and everyone else slowly. Look at Marco and Dylan…you see where that left them? All because of you…fuck, look at you and me, look at me Jakey" Michael yelled, pulling Jake's hand and pushing up against his chest. He could feel a dull heartbeat," Look…feel me, Jakey. How many more beats do you think I have left? You kill people, just like the way you killed Ror-" Michel's neck snapped to the side as a hand collided with his face, stinging like fire. When his eyes met Jake's he just simply wiped the blood of his lip, with his index finger and held it up to Jake. "Don't get too close" He snarled out fiercely," Or you might wanna receive a greater truth than what you can handle"
Jake looked at Michael momentarily, blankly. Literary, his eyes were the most sullen, morose gray that anyone had ever seen in their life. He just stood there, griping on his shirt with his hands curled tightly, tears of pain and memory rolling down his cheek in liquid pearls, each one making the people around him flinch. Robert, who had came down stairs along with the others after he heard yelling stepped forwards, he had to say something. " I guess you bring out the worse in him, too"
Michael didn't break eyes with Jake as he robotically replied," I guess we all bring out the worse in someone one, a little bit of everyone, eh Robby?"
"Just…stop" Jake finally said, darkly, lowly. It was as if all his energy was drained just to admit out one sentence," Stop, stop right now"
"You started this war" Michael yelled at him," I'm just playing along. But you don't want me to play along anymore, do you, Jakey? You got tired of playing the game a long time ago, and now just because you pulled me back, in knowingly, you thought I'd be up to play the game one last time. Well, fuck, you , cause I'm not. I'm dead, Jakey. So stop trying to-"
"I'm not trying to do shit for you" Jake's voice said dryly now," You give me all of this- this emotion and then when I try and push it back, I can't. How the fuck can you come here and try and read me like a book when in general you don't know shit about me?"
"I know everything about you, Jakey, don't ever forget that. Because we once were one, remember how it felt when we could reach off each other's thoughts, smile at each other, with a real smile and not some fake one. But oh yeah, I forgot, you don't like to remember things"
"I remember what counts"
"And I suppose I don't qualify for that then?"
"No, you're the past, remember?"
"Cute, Jakey, really cute" Michel wiped a tear away," That's why I'm leaving, any away. Adrian's coming to pick me up and then I'll be gone, forever, don't worry about me coming back to …"
"BACK TO WHAT?" Jake yelled.
"You" Michael finished sadly.
By the looks on both their faces everyone could tell that the conversation is over. Michel remained on the floor and Jake walked up the steps, murmuring "fuck the past" over and over again on the way back up.
Marco bent over and helped Michael up and pulled him into a hug, for no reason really, but Michael just hugged him back, squeezing on his shoulders," You love him, don't you?" Marco whispered.
Michel pulled away and looked at him in his eyes. "Is it that obvious?"