The Worst Assignment
Rating: M for language.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world or its characters. J. K. Rowling does.
Summary: Sybil Trelawney has a message for Remus Lupin, a message only she can deliver. It gives him his toughest assignment yet. HBP spoilers. Implied SBRL slash.
Remus Lupin hastened away from the hospital wing, not caring where he was going, wanting only to put some distance between himself and the awful embarrassment he had just suffered. Damn Tonks! It wasn't enough that she had pestered him for nearly a year with her unwanted attentions; she had to thrust them on him now, in front of a dozen people including students, while he was still trying to absorb the horrible shock of Dumbledore's death. Dumbledore, to whom he owed everything, who had been a rock of stability in Remus's life, was gone. But the pain of that loss wasn't enough to bear; no, he had to endure the importunities of the woman who, only a year before, had been a cheerful, dependable comrade.
Brooding on his troubles, he didn't notice the slim figure approaching him until she spoke.
"Remus Lupin! Just the man I'm looking for! Fate is kind. I have a message for you, my dear, and you must come to my office at once."
"Can't it wait, Sybil? I'm not feeling too bright at the moment……"
"No it cannot wait. It is Sirius Black, and he's killing me. If I don't pass on his message at once……well, I don't know what will happen, but it won't be pleasant."
Remus sighed. How many more females were going to make unreasonable demands on him today? If he'd seen Sybil in time he could have run from her, as he had done before, but now he was trapped. Wearily he followed her up to her office.
In the gloom, lit only by a faint red glow, they sat opposite each other over a small table, both her hands holding both his in a firm grip.
"Usually, the more people present, the stronger the connection," Sybil was saying. "But I have strict instructions that this session must be only you and me."
Remus said nothing. The sooner this farce was over, the sooner he could escape and try to sleep. The light grew even dimmer; Sybil's eyes closed and her head drooped.
Suddenly her hands tightened on his, her head lifted and her eyes snapped open.
"Hello, Moony," said a voice that was not Sybil's. A voice that infused four syllables with affection and amusement; for Remus, a heart-wrenching memory. But he could not yet let himself believe.
"Who are you?" he asked, in a voice as cold and hostile as he could bring himself to make it.
"You know who I am," the familiar, loved voice said. "But you are right to be cautious. Nobody but you heard the last words I spoke to you, before we left for the Ministry. 'Don't look so gloomy, this'll be fun. Moony and Padfoot out on an adventure again. It'll be like old times.' And you didn't answer me. Just looked even gloomier. Did you know then what was going to happen?"
"No, of course I didn't, or I'd have immobilised you. But I feared for you. I should have stopped you."
"Don't worry about that. That's the past. It's the future I have to talk to you about. Dumbledore sent me……"
"Is he there?"
"Yes. Just arrived. Very fit and well, and looking forward to the next phase of his existence. And he has a job for you, one that only you can do. It's Tonks. You have to go along with her, give her what she wants."
"What!"
"Afraid so. We on this side can see a bit into the future – further than Sybil, anyway – and, well, you know Tonks is a strong witch, with a rare talent. That talent is going to be needed soon. Somehow, she's going to make a big difference to the outcome of the War, maybe the vital difference. But she's lost her powers because of her feelings for you. You've got to help her get them back. You've got to make love to her."
"No, I can't, I can't believe you're saying this. Surely it's enough if I give her friendship, affection……"
"No. She already knows you're her friend. She needs you to be more than that. I'm sorry, I wish it didn't have to be."
"But I don't think I can. I never have, with a woman……never with anyone but you, and never wanted to."
"I know, love. But we can't always have what we want."
"I mean it literally. I can't. I wouldn't be able to get – you know, hard."
"Yes you can, Moony, just think of me when you're with her. In fact, she'd probably change for you, if you asked her nicely……"
Remus felt a shock of revulsion and would have snatched his hands away from those that held them, but he remembered just in time that to break the connection might injure Sybil, and he kept still. "I can't believe you said that," he said. "How could you imagine I would want that? To have the semblance of you, without your soul? I can't think of anything more horrible."
"But you have my soul," Sirius's voice was gentle. "You've always had that, since I gave it to you in sixth year. And when all this is over, we'll be together, and never be parted again. I swear that is true."
"Couldn't someone else do it?" Remus said hopelessly, knowing what the answer would be. "Kingsley? He is at least straight."
"But she doesn't want him. She wants you. Only you can do this. Doesn't that make you feel good?"
"No. It makes me feel like a victim. Again." Remus's voice was bitter, remembering the werewolf's attack, the years of loneliness, the ostracism, the pain, the constant anxiety.
"But you'll do it?"
"I – I'll try."
"You'll do it. It might not be for very long. She's young. She might tire of you, fancy someone else. But for now, you'll do it. For me. And for the world, all the wizards and witches and Muggles, for Harry and Hermione and Neville. Would you want them enslaved to Voldemort? Would you see Neville forced to do evil deeds under Imperius, or tortured like his parents were?"
Oh, clever Sirius, Remus thought. Sirius knew Remus loved Harry and Hermione, but Neville had a special place in his heart.
"I'll do it," he said.
Sybil's grip slackened, her eyes closed, and the voice that came was a soft whisper: "I love you always, Moony, always."
"Well, dear, did you get the message?" Sybil asked briskly.
"Yes, thanks," Remus replied.
"It was very important, he kept telling me."
"Yes, Sybil, it was."
He managed to escape from her office without giving away any details of the message she had passed on.
Why do I get the toughest, dirtiest assignments in this war? Hobnobbing with that filthy, evil bastard Fenrir, and now this. Remus would have regretted his rash promise, but he realised he had no choice. The fate of the world really did seem to depend on his convincing Tonks that he loved her. He would have to kiss her, at least. But it would be closed. No tongues. He was quite determined on that point. As for the other – he wondered. Would she be satisfied with a hand job? Perhaps, if he were skilled enough. He imagined her moving and moaning as his fingers brought her to a climax. It wouldn't be so bad. Not as bad as – the other. But he knew nothing about a woman's body and her responses. It had been so easy with Sirius, he'd just done what came naturally. But with Tonks, nothing would come naturally. Right, then. First thing in the morning, off to the library to read up on Manual Clitoral Stimulation. He hoped the librarian wouldn't be too shocked.
This was another desperate attempt to come to terms with HBP. I hope it works for some readers.