Okay, this chapter is all About Jakey and Mikey. So maybe it'll answer some of the questions that you had about their pasts.
NOTE: PREPARE FOR A LOT OF DRAMA! AND ANGST.
I don't think there's any Marco or Dylan in here at all, Well, I hope I make you cry. Cause I got kinda misty myself. I hope ya'll like it.
BlackRoseOnFire: I'm glad you finally caught up with this time twister of a story and I'm glad your confused, because that's the way I intended it to be! Lol, I'm glad you want some Ry Marco action, as the rest of you also crave, so you'll just have to wait and see.
MascaraTearsnMoonlitEyes: Hmmmm…. People are gaining sanity? Hmmmm…there's like, 200 people, lol. Yeah, Karen's not done yet, she'll be back.
Azury: I'll send you some tea, okay? I need my angel to be healthy as can be! Are you shocked about Mikey And Addy's past lives. What they did? I felt horrible when I wrote it. Yeah, I;m glad your liking Robert, I'm giving him a reason to actually be in the story now, and him and Michael will be getting along quite well actually. Yea, I wanted to chop his hair back to the way it looked in Pride, so I had Andy cut it, genius right? Mystery date? You'll see… Lol, you hit that scene perfectly, that's exactly what they were thinking. Love ya!
Gypsy Prince: Hey, okay. Update! Right here for ya! Thanks for the review!
LIAZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAYYY: Lol, I love writing that. Since you put up two reviews I won't spank you sadly puts wip away for now. Yes, you're special in the worse way, lo. You saw the video? I sooo love it, mmm Brandon flowers in the shower. Ahhhh. Yes, I wanted him to go with Andy but then I said no! pete and andy? Hell no. Jake is an asshole. And I say that with hate. The sentence finishing I got from the eppy on queer as folk when Justin was finishing Brian's sentences. Love ya!
Oh and sorry you guys, But I'm gonna be put under the knife tomorrow! Weee! For some stupid ass operation so I decided that reviews make me happy, so review please! I;m updating early. Oh and you are all going to hate Jake. PS I got another story called Fire Island and for a little sneaky, it is Marco...but shhh don't tell anyone, Now read it! oR ELSE! lol
1 2 3 4 5 6 shake it dudes!
Chapter 24: Poison Oak
Poison oak, some boy hood bravery.
When a telephone was a tin can on a string
And I feel asleep with you still talking to me
You said you weren't afraid to die
In Polaroid you were dressed in woman's clothes
Were you made ashamed?
Why'd you lock them in a drawer
Well I don't think that I'd loved you more…
Then when you turned away
When you slammed the door.
Dear Mikey,
I can tell by the look on your face, right now, you're shocked that I did what I did a few days ago. To be honest, so am I. I never thought that it'd happen, that this would happen. To us, of all people. It breaks my heart that I did this and I wish I could take it back, I need to take it back, but I know that I can't. Can you forgive me, Mikey? I really need you to. Things are hard over here now that Rory's dead, nobody wants to talk about it. Which is fine by me, it just hurts that no one wants to mourn my brother without being shamed. I cry loudly and proudly every night, send a little prayer up for him and then drown my body into sleep. It's the only thing that will suffice my thoughts. I don't even want to tell you what's running viciously through my head right now, my hands are just shaking writing to you at the very minute. I miss you, so so much. Can't you come back? Everything is so…hard now, I can't explain it. Dad's getting sicker and sicker now, so I have to take care of him. It was so much more…easy when I was with you, I can't explain it. I just miss my best friend.
Love,
Jakey.
Dear Jakey,
I can't forgive you, for what you've done to me. To us. It's as if in that very moment you severed the ties that was our relationship. I lost all of my trust for you right there, how can I put my faith back into, into us again, only to have it shattered? I miss you too, there's nothing to life without a best friend to share it with. I have to move on, I guess. I will be watching you, as I always have and remember, you can always talk to me about Rory. I'm just not ready to talk to you face to face, so letters will have to fill your thirst for me for now. I just wish that I could trust you again.
Love, Mikey
Dear Michael,
But you can trust me. I swear, I'll never hit you again. I mean it, I swear on my life. I was upset when I did it, I wasn't thinking straight. I just needed you badly and then I pushed you away. I guess I was just scared that you would be next, I can't loose anyone else, Michael, and I don't think I can handle it. I went to the doctor today, they said I had some sort of repertory problem and that I need to stay calm at all times, but my heart is beating as fast a freight train at the very moment. I need you to trust me again, Mikey. You have to. You just have to.
Love, Jake.
Dear Jakey,
Do you know what the word "Love" means? Because you put it at the end of your letters, but it means a shit worth on paper. Love is…unconditional. It's emotion. It's being there when your best friend needs you, it's support, and it's…a constant. This, what we have? Is nothing. It's gone, Jakey, it's gone. Repertory problems are very dangerous, stay calm as much as you can. I may not trust you, but I don't want you to die either. I'm confused with everything now. I feel as if I need to start over again, just because of what you did to me. Thanks, Jakey, you really know how to bring a kid to life. You hurt me, Jake, in the worst possible way. But I think I found a relief, something wonderfully amazing. But you don't want to know what it is, you might hate me for it. Well, I hate myself right now, so it wouldn't matter. But you shunning me is just as bad as me shunning myself. Forever yours. Or at least, I wish…
Michael
Dear Michael.
I do know what love is. We don't love each other, remember? We never did. What we had was beyond that, beyond words, beyond emotion, beyond sayings. God, Mikey, what we had was unfathomable, it was unspeakable. It is…what makes us so fucking special. To believe that what we had is gone is like taking the dust off of the kids in Neverland. We have to fly, Mikey. Close your eyes and try, make a wish, hold onto something. I need things to be normal again. There's this guy here now, Kyle, remember him? He's moving in fully now, it's horrible, he treats me like shit. I can't live here anymore, I'm only staying for mom, but she's changed too. Everybody's changing. So where are you and me in all of this? Matter of fact, where are you period?
Love, Jake.
Dear Jake.
This is my last letter to you. I don't think I can bring myself to even write to you anymore. I'm worried that whatever happened to us has really taken a toll on me. I can't sleep. I can't breathe. You know, at night, I turn when I lay down to talk to you , but forget that you're not there? I remember how you'd always fall asleep while I was talking to me, or how you'd always kick me wake with your foot? I remember those times, they make me weak and misty. I hate being emotional. I stopped by your house before I got ready to go , but I couldn't bring myself inside. I can't see you. Not now, maybe not even ever. I met someone, he's really nice, and he shows me how to handle things, so I think I'll be okay. Yeah, Jakey. I love you too.
Mikey.
Dear Mikey.
Please, don't cut us off. I can't be alone, Mikey, I can't. I keep crying for no reason, Kyle thinks that beatings are the answer to everything, as usual. Mom is horrible, I should run away, can I come with you? Will I ever get to see you again? Mikey…Michael…I have to see you again. I need you. I need you. I need you, I can't stress this enough. Is this how it feels to be desperate? Because I don't like it. Oh, Mikey, do I need to say those 4 words to get you to come to me? I love you, Mikey. I do with all my bleeding soul.
Jake.
Silver pellets of rain cut his face, his clothes were drenched in what seemed to be a mixture of sweat, tears and rain as he pulled out his wallet and walked onto the bus. He dropped his metro card in and went to the back, his body aching from all the arching he had to do and his voice sore from all the moaning. He was almost there, maybe a few more dollars, 60 tops, and Michael would be with him again. But until then…
He saw a man behind him give him the look…
…He had to keep working
Jake put the box down. He was curled up on the floor in his room reading the old letters that him and Michael had throw each other back and forth during their days apart for the first time. He tried not to cry and instead choked back bitter tears. Wiping one escaped one from his face he decided he needed to apologies to him, he didn't know how long Michael had left. Picking himself off the floor, he walked out of his room with haste, euphoria washing over him like a summer shower and searching for his best friend. After looking through all the rooms he finally ended up downstairs where the bathroom was at.
"Mike!" He busted in, not even bothering to knock." I hav-"
He stopped dead in his tracks.
He saw Michael leaning over the sink with a dazed smile on his face, blood dangling loosely from the blade. " Hello, Jakey"
"What- what the fuck are you doing?" Jake stuttered out.
"Bringing self clarity, of course" Michael said, waving the blade in front of his face at Jake. He looked pale, his hair was disheveled and his eyes were red, black and blue.
"You're sick again, aren't you?" Jake said as he stepped forwards, taking the object from out of his hands and crossing over to the garbage can to throw it out.
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
"Have you looked in a mirror"
"Do I still cast a reflection?"
"I hope so"
"Are you trying to save me, Jakey?"
"Yes"
"Then stop?"
"Why?"
"Didn't we already have this discussion?" Michael asked, deafly board of it all.
Jake's eyes fluttered shut," So?"
"I'm fine Jake, it's just a little backlash. But you know, when you do what I do for a living it's not that hard to believe that I'd ever get-"
"I know" Jake cut him off," That's why you need to go to the doctor"
"I don't need them poking me with needles, telling me something I already know" Michael snapped, looking at Jake with blank eyes." I just need to sleep and relax"
"There's my bed…"
"No" Michael said defiantly.
"Not with me in it, I mean, to sleep in…" Jake said uneasily.
"Why are you talking to me, Jake? Are you taking pleasure with torturing me? Have you come to lecture me again, or maybe hit me? Take your choice, Jakey."
" No, I'd rather just.."
"Just what?"
"Kiss you" Jake whispered.
"Does my pain turn you on?" Michael asked, his pale eyes scanning Jake with interest
"No, Michael. I'm your best friend and-"
"Don't. Stop. Don't talk" Michael said, holding up a bloody hand. "I'm sorry, Jake. But I cannot do this anymore."
"Do what, Mikey?" Jake's shattered voice crumbled out," I just want to help you, I don't want you to die. I said that before, and I mean it with my very heart"
"Why do you keep trying to save me?" Michael asked darkly.
"I do-. Because I-"
" I what, Jake?"
"Why are you doing this to me?" Jake whimpered out, slipping to the floor and clutching his sides, in breathy agony.
Michael peered down at Jake in twisted pleasure," Still all about you?"
"I can't have it any other way" Jake whispered out, sinking lower into the floor.
Michael squatted down next to him," Jake, you're a saint among many, remember that"
"How…"
"Do I open you up for the raw bloody wound that you are? How do I always get you to break down first? How do I always…we always end up in these situations? You should know the answer to that, Jake" He said coldly, magically making another blade appear between his fingers. He petted Jake's head, slowly running his cold, bloody hands though Jake's golden locks and waved a finger at him in the most demeaning way," You're the master. You taught me how" He walked out the room, closing the door behind him," I'll keep it closed, you may want to be alone in there for a while"
There's a muddy field where a garden was,
And I'm glad you got away
but I'm still stuck out here
My clothes are soaking wet from your brother's tears…
" Shhh…Jakey, shhh" Michael said hopelessly, on the verge of tears himself. Pulling Jake with him they crossed over into the field and sat in the dirty mud, waiting for the rain drops to stop. Jake heaved helplessly into the grass behind them as Michael held his hair from his face, patting his back and trying to murmur positive words into his ear, but it was to no avail. They had left the funeral, they weren't giving Rory any justice in his death or wake, and Jake and Michael had both had enough. But Jake, well he was suffering. Suddenly Michael was jealous and hated Rory.
He got free
He escaped.
He was free!
And him and Jake were trapped here.
Hadn't Rory promised to never leave the boys and if he was, that they'd do it together.
"It's not fucking rocket science, even though I'm sure you two geeks would probably ace that too. We make a pact here and now, boys, that if one of us goes we have to take the other with them" Rory said defiantly.
"Are you saying that because you know you'll be the first one gone?" Michael asked, suspiciously.
"I care for you twats" Rory said affectionately, " That's why. I don't want you in shambles over my demise. Once I am dead, I need you two you go on for me, live out my life"
Michael, Jake and Rory looked at the blade on the floor. The secluded area had become a sort of camp for the boys for when they needed to escape. Rory picked it up, the sharp stormy sky reflecting on its tip and stretched out his hand." Come on now, I don't want to do this alone"
The boys rolled up their sleeves." Now what?" Jake asked, confused.
"You'll see" Rory said, he pricked each of their arms until a drop of blood could be seen and then put the blade back in his pocket. He took his index finger, put it to Michael's cut and then put the finger to his lips. " I promise that we'll always be together, somehow". He looked at them, who were shocked at the notion, " Well, go on then". Jake took his index finger and put it to Rory's arm and then placed it to his lips," I promise that we'll always be together, some how". Finally Jake put both his fingers to Jake and Rory's arms and placed it to his lips," I promise that we'll be always be together, somehow".
"That's it?" Michael asked.
"Words are powerful" Rory smiled, laying down into the grass." Let's enjoy our youth"
"Mi- Mi- Mic-hael?" Jake stuttered out weakly. " Pro-mise me- me that we- we'll always be to- gether…"
"We will be…" Michael whispered, snapping out of the memory," We made a pact, remember?"
Jake fell asleep with Michael cradling him in his arms.
I never thought this life was possible…
Welll...yeah. Um...sniff?