Luke had turned on the dvd player and tv, then moved to stand behind Alex. He purposely chose this position for he did not want to interfere while Alex would see what she was about to. He moved his hand so the infrared of the remote control could reach the dvd player, then pressed Play.
There was a blue screen for about two seconds, then Marissa's face appeared on screen. Luke heard the sharp inhale of breath coming from Alex.
When Alex first caught sight of Marissa, she felt more emotions than she even knew possible. Happiness, sadness, worry, shock, love, longing, fear and all those unnamable emotions in between settled themselves on her heart.
In that first second Alex saw Marissa, she could already see her girlfriend had lost a lot of weight. Marissa's face had become thin, her cheekbones more visible than ever before. The girl looked fragile.
Alex could see that the time at Foster's had definitely taken its toll on the once so lively girl. Shoulders hunched over, she sat there, looking into the camera. Marissa's pose worried Alex.
But then she saw that familiar sparkle returning to Marissa's eyes. The moment her mouth started forming words it was there, as powerful as it always used to be. Pride was added to the whirlwind of emotions Alex felt. She was proud of her girl because she saw the fighter in Marissa, she saw the sparkle that beamed love. And that love was obviously the fire behind Marissa's resistance to give up.
Alex knew in her heart that Luke never had lied to her about Marissa still being in love. But to see the sparkle return to Marissa's tired eyes… it was the confirmation Alex had been needing.
She felt her heartbeat speeding up, while she tried to focus on everything at once. When that didn't work out, she settled for watching Marissa's eyes while concentrating on the words pouring from her lips.
"So, I just found out like, two seconds ago, that I was going to be able to make you a video message. So if I look nervous… well, it's because I am." Alex's lips curled up into a tiny smile when she heard Marissa speak her words.
"I've been waiting so long to be able to say something to you. Of course, in my mind I would tell you in person, but then again I'm happy enough to say anything to you. To know you'll actually hear it, and see it. To know it's not just thinking what I want to tell you, but to be able to put it into real words."
Alex's eyes started stinging. She swallowed a few times to try and keep her emotions at bay. She knew what Marissa must have felt, because she could feel it too. The pain that came along with knowing you couldn't be there yourself, but the relief of at least being able to address your loved one directly.
"It's strange in a way, but it feels SO good to me. I've been wanting to tell you all these years that I love you, I never stopped loving you and I never will. I miss everything about you. Your eyes, your voice, your smell, the feel of your arms around me. Just, everything."
By the time Marissa spoke the word love, Alex couldn't control the stinging tears any longer. Without a sound they had started to fall.
"I can't wait to get out of here, to take you in my arms again, to hold you and kiss you and to wake up next to you. I know we have to hold on a little longer, but I promise you that I'm never ever gonna let you go again once I get out. And we're gonna rebuilt all that was lost, and make it better."
Unconsciously Alex nodded her head, silently agreeing with Marissa. Never ever again would they be apart, she would do anything to prevent that. Hell, they'd fly to the moon if necessary. But no object, living or not, would be able to come in between them.
"Every day with you will be like a fairytale to me, and I'm gonna treat you like my princess. So hold on a little longer, it won't be long anymore. Each breath we take from now on will bring us closer together. Each second that ticks away is one second closer to holding you. I'm thinking about you, and I'm fighting. For us. Together."
With the tears still flowing, Alex found herself once again smiling. Alex always thought she'd be the 'knight in shining armor' and Marissa would be her 'damsel in distress' or princess. Yet here was Marissa calling Alex her princess. She realized the both of them would fulfill the roles of 'knight' and 'princess' and it felt pretty right to her. They were equals.
The other thing that echoed in her ears, was when Marissa spoke of each breath bringing them closer together. Never before had Alex paid attention to the rise and fall of her chest, but she found herself doing just that. It gave a whole different dimension to taking in oxygen.
She saw Marissa's eyes had gotten watery, and she watched as Marissa wiped at them. It weighed heavily on Alex's heart, seeing this.
"Look honey, I'm starting to cry and I don't want to… So I'm gonna leave it at this for now. I love you sweetheart. Take care, and we'll see each other very soon. Bye baby."
The screen went blue again, much sooner than Alex had hoped. But she did notice that the darkness she felt before had been chased away again. Love, lightness and hope were the reigning emotions. She sat quietly on her couch, staring at the blue screen lost in the feeling of these emotions. She had pretty much forgotten Luke was still there, until she saw the screen turning black again when Luke turned it off. This action seemed to bring her back into the real world.
He moved to sit next to her. "Are you gonna be alright?" he asked Alex the same question he had asked Marissa earlier that morning.
Alex cleared her throat, hoping her voice would work. "Yes, I will." she replied. She thought about what she just said, then spoke up again. "I am."
Luke wasn't sure if he could believe Alex. "Are you sure?"
Alex nodded. "Yes, completely sure. I don't think I can put into words how much this means to me. Seeing Marissa…" she went silent for a few seconds. "Life can only get better from here."
"And it will" Luke spoke reassuringly before a comfortable silence settled over them.
"Come on Marissa, wake up!" doctor Hamilton violently shook Marissa to try and wake her up. It was three p.m. and Marissa had been sound asleep when doctor Hamilton came by.
Once every two weeks, he would come by for a thirty minute talk with Marissa. Not that there was much talk coming from her, but it was a procedure doctor Hamilton had to follow to keep Marissa committed. If he never saw his 'patient' people might get suspicious. So every two weeks he would show up, taunt Marissa for a while, scribble down some notes and then leave again.
Marissa stirred before opening her eyes to the man she'd come to despise so much.
"Great" she muttered. "The one day I want to sleep in my 'doctor' decides to show up"
"Now missy, I think you're in no position to talk to me like that." Doctor Hamilton said in the same arrogant tone he always used when talking to Marissa.
Most of the times his arrogance would make Marissa boil inside but since Luke's last visit, Marissa could no longer be bothered by it. She remembered something Alex had once told her about dealing with her mother. Sure, doctor Hamilton wasn't exactly her mother but this seemed a perfect moment to take up Alex's advice from that afternoon.
She took a deep breath, forced her lips into a smile and then said "Interesting idea doctor Hamilton, I'll give that some thought."
This comment caught doctor Hamilton completely of guard. Marissa noticed and smiled smugly at him.
"Yes. Well. Good. You do that." He simply couldn't think of anything else to say.
It took him a few minutes of rummaging through his papers to get back on track.
"So, any news Marissa?"
"Yes, I counted the dots on the ceiling again and it turns out I was wrong before. I always thought there were 10476 dots, now after numerous recounts it turns out to be 10483." She said with a straight face.
"Funny Marissa, you're on the roll today." Doctor Hamilton sighed heavily. "Be that way if you like to. I'm not gonna waste my energy on you. I'll see you in two weeks."
He walked out of the door, thinking to himself. "God, that woman drives me crazy. If it wasn't for the money…"