Navigating Nine Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? Janet still owns Stephanie Plum World, even if we wish she would hand it over to someone who would end it the way we Babes would like.

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I shook my head with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry Ranger, I can't." He frowned but apparently decided to wait me out. "Don't you see? If I go home with you now, tonight, it's establishing an unhealthy precedent. If we have a relationship… Do we have one? Well, not a normal one but ours, I think, and it fits us and it's okay, seriously, but I can't just roll over and play puppy." I stepped away, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Babe?"

"Don't. You know I'm right."

He looked as if he couldn't decide whether to kiss me or throttle me. "We just talked it out. I jumped to conclusions, we're fine. But if you feel more comfortable staying here tonight…" he let the sentence drop, the words trailing off into the meditative silence unique to 3 am.

"It's not that. I don't want us falling into… into… into an unhealthy pattern."

He was quiet for a few beats. "Who are you?" he said at last. I winced as if he'd just slapped me, feeling my stomach drop to somewhere around my knees.

"What?" The word was almost a squeak. I could feel his eyes assessing me even in the near darkness.

"Not so long ago, you'd have rather jumped out a window than sleep with me. You were half scared of me, and you would do anything short of homicide to escape talking about relationships or feelings."

It was my turn to be silent. There were some things about me that really didn't bear questioning.

"What changed?" he asked.

"You know what changed. Near death experiences followed by further near death experiences change people."

Now Ranger's arms crossed over his chest and he rocked back on his heels. All welcome the High Inquisitor. I bit my lip and tried to sort my thoughts out into a clear, relatively-sane, heavily edited version of events.

"Give me a break," I said defensively. "I fell down a flight of stairs, got stalked by a killer cartoon, kidnapped by Napoleon incarnate who I ended up shooting.. in fact I killed like three people in one night which may or may not qualify me as a mass murderer even if I didn't actually kill one of them, and I got beat to hell in the process. Now I barely get over that, and here I am getting letters and snuff photos from an all-new wacky weirdo of the week."

My voice was getting progressively higher and shakier. "And in the middle of it all I realized maybe that you aren't the big bad wolf or if you are I still would rather trust you than them and maybe that's because I love you and you—I don't know if you— " I choked myself off, trying to keep the words from spilling out. Too little, too late.

"Don't know if I what?" Ranger questioned. I clamped my jaw shut. "Say it." Uh-uh. Nothing doing. "Please." Oh damn it to hell…

"I don't know if you love me or love who I was." The words came in a rush, strung together into a single gobbledygook that would have made any speed-talking teenager proud.

"Who you were?"

"Who you thought I was… see, this is proving me right! You don't love me, you love Stephanie. You love Ellen's Burg-loving stepdaughter. You love that chick who was terrified of feelings and affection and wanted Morelli just because he was comfortable. Well, guess what, she's not here. I'm sorry. Wrong number. I'm going to bed."

I turned on my heel and started to climb back into the tangled covers, but was stopped as Ranger's hand settled on my shoulder and spun me around. A further disadvantage of living with people who subdue other people for a living.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to bed," I sniffed, trying my best snotty little brat voice.

"Don't I get a say in this?" I could almost hear his brow raising.

"No," I said, my voice trembling. "Because if you tell me I'm right I'm going to be crying for a week. I don't want to cry for a week. I have a stalker to deal with."

"What if I'm going to tell you you're wrong?"

"Well, see, if I'm wrong, then you're pissed at me for saying it in the first place and you're going to go storming off."

"I don't storm off."

"Okay, you're going to go all disappearing into the wind stealthy-ish in a bad mood."

"Babe, you're wrong."

"About what?"

The hand on my shoulder momentarily tightened, and I was reminded of the fact he could probably snap me like a twig. "You dive me crazy."

I bit my lip to hold back the smart ass retort that sprang to mind. I really didn't want to explore my inner twig tonight. His grip finally loosened, and his hands slid up my shoulders to cradle my neck, tilting my head up to look at him. The dim light from the hallway filtered through the door, highlighting his cheeks and hair, but leaving most of his face in shadows. Still, I could feel his eyes boring into mine.

"Listen to me very carefully. I love you. Whatever name you want to use, it's you Babe. You stand up to me, make me laugh, drive me crazy, and now that I finally got you, I'm not letting you go."

"What about—" My question was silenced as he bent down and kissed me, his lips brushing mine almost reverently. What about the fact I'm possibly a crazy split personality or an alien from an alternate dimension?

"No questions," he whispered. Maybe I should have argued, but at that moment I couldn't see the point of anything that didn't end with us both naked and exploring interesting positions.

"I love you too, Ranger. I'm sorry," I said, sliding my arms around his waist and returning his kiss. So sorry, for being someone else entirely, for everything… for all the stuff you'll never know…

"Well, and I was worried you were talking to yourself, sweetheart," Mom's voice was full of barely repressed laughter.

I dropped my arms and if Ranger hadn't had me all but pinned against him with the small tree-trunks he called arms I probably would have jumped six feet backward.

"Good evening, Ranger."

"Rhianna," he returned the greeting with a barely perceptible nod of his head.

"I wondered when you'd get here," she said, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Had a job that ran late."

"Mm," Mom pursed her lips thoughtfully. "You are a pro-active businessman, I take it."

"Paperwork isn't my thing," he shrugged, keeping me right where I was. I had the uncomfortable sensation that the adults were having a conversation I couldn't follow.

"Would you like some tea?" Mom asked.

"Sounds wonderful."

I swallowed hard and let him guide me out the door after mom. Maybe I was still dreaming. There was definitely something surreal about this…

"Mom, how did you know—"

"That he'd be by tonight? Moonbeam, honestly, you stay the night with your mother, don't call him and you thought I wouldn't notice? I figured you had a fight or you had something you weren't happy about."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll get used to living with someone. It's always hard the first time around. And I hardly count that thirty-second engagement of yours as a full experience."

I shrugged as she gave me a scathing glance and I felt Ranger's eyes on me. I wondered if he knew about that or not. "Seemed like a good idea at the time," I said evenly. It was why mom always said she married dad.

Mom's green eyes narrowed, but her lips turned up in a tiny smile. "Indeed."

We sat down around the kitchen table and mom set about pouring us each a mug of tea. "So, you'll be taking her with you, correct?" she asked Ranger as she handed him one of the glasses.

He nodded, watching her cautiously.

"Good. I'm glad I caught you then, we have some things to discuss." Oh gods, here it comes. Rangeman had probably run afoul of Green Peace or something…

"Ma'am?" Oh, smart boy, Ranger. Lay it on thick…

Mom took a sip of her tea and eyed us both over the rim of the mug. "Relax, children. It's not asif I'm going to lecture you on sex." I relaxed a little. I didn't think I was up to taking sex tips from mom at this time of night.

"Actually, I've had an idea for a new book… "

"No!" I said, straightening in my seat to glare at her. "No book."

"Oh, come on sweetheart, it would be a best seller."

"No, mom. You are not basing a book off of me, or off Ranger or anyone else."

"Too late darling. I've already got the green light." Mom's eyes sparked with triumph. I slumped.

"Ranger, tell her no one wants to read about bounty hunters."

"Actually, babe, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. I always said your life should be a prime time sitcom."

My eyes widened as I stared first at Ranger whose dark eyes were warm and amused, to mom who was doing a creditable impersonation of a canary-filled feline.

"Thank you Ranger. I was hoping you'd be available sometime this weekend so I could ask you some questions about the bail bonds and procedures. Maybe over dinner, we could do it when Derek gets back. Welcome home and welcome a new muse all in one!"

Ranger inclined his head in assent. I stuck out my lower lip.

It was three o'clock in the morning and my mother and significant other were conspiring to ruin my life. I didn't like chamomile tea. My feet were cold. I probably had bed head and red-rimmed eyes. This sucked.

Oh, and that wasn't even going into the fact that I was going to have to unmask the Geek Master or risk getting beaten up by Fish Kitty or whatever that dumb named kid was. Plus I was going to have to get to Las Vegas and locate a nerdy run-away immigrant, during all of this I'd be running the risk of ending up trapped in Rose Red playing Run Rabbit Run…

I crossed my arms and let myself sulk, ignoring my mother's evil eye.