Title- Turn And Face The Stranger Chapter Two
Author- garrettelliot
Rating- R
Disclaimer- Please gimme, I promise I won't break 'em. Damn, that didn't work either.
Author's Note- This is not an easy one to write and if I'm doing it right it won't be easy to read. Becca is the main character in a novel I'm trying to write, she just seems to fit in here.
To Sierra Windfire and master dancer- Thank you for your reviews, but Becca is not as in control as she thinks she is, she is trying to maintain, poorly. If you have any suggestions on how it's moving please let me know.

- O'MALLEY'S BAR FOUR P.M. Elliot held the door for Olivia and then followed her in. Olivia gestured to the bar.

"That looks like trouble."

Elliot looked over to see Becca Swan at the bar, tossing back shots. "Pain meds and booze, not a good combination." Elliot replied. " Maybe we'd better try and get her out of here."

"Elliot, there's more here than the rape. At the ER she was talking about her partner eating his gun. She said it was her fault. I think we should find out what's going on and help if we can. Cragen deserves to know and I don't want to see him hurt if she goes off the deep end."

"If her partner did himself, she's going need more help than we can give. She needs a shrink. Maybe we should get Huang to talk to her."

As they reached the bar, Becca looked up. " How's New York's finest? Solve any big ones?" She was swaying slightly as she motioned to the bartender. "Give me another, and one for my friends."

"I think you had enough for now. Why don't you let us drive you home?" Elliot took the glass.

"Hands off, bud, that's my drink. Get your own." She reached for the shot and missed.

"Don't you think you've had enough Becca? Come on, let us get you out here, okay?" Olivia put a hand on her arm.

"No way, I'm celebrating." She grabbed the drink this time. "A toast, to Ben Wyke." She raised the glass to the picture lying in front of her on the bar. "A good cop with bad timing." She downed the shot and slammed the glass on the bar.

"Gimme another."

Elliot flashed his badge at the bartender. "She's cut off."

"You know what, Stabler? You are a jackass. Bartender, gimme another one."

"No way lady, I'm not going against a cop." The bartender turned away, Olivia stepped over to talk to him.

"So tell me about Ben. You two partners long?" Elliot asked.

"Eight years." Becca tried to shake off the alcohol and focus on the question; the booze seemed to be winning as she answered. "Ben was a good cop. Are you a good cop, Stabler? Sure you are and your partner's got your back, right?" She looked over where Olivia was talking to the bartender. "You got his back, right Benson? Good cops always got their partner's back. Ben always had my back, always. He was a good cop." She picked up the photo. "But I'm not. I'm not a good cop. I didn't have my partner's back. I wasn't there for him. I should've been there. And you know why I wasn't there. Cause I was out gettin' laid. I left him to deal on his own, so I could go and screw some guy, to get back at Ben for not talking to me after the psych eval. I oughta eat my gun. Oh, right, I don't have a one. I turned it in with my badge. Maybe I'll just go find a skyscraper and freefall. See ya." Becca headed for the door.

Olivia walked back over. "Liv, we'd better get her back to Cragen's before she does something stupid."

"I think the booze qualifies, El. Bartender says she had eight doubles." "You get her, I'll get the car." Olivia said.

Elliot caught up to Becca in the parking lot. "Come on Becca, let's get you to Don's."

"Look Stabler, I'm a big girl, I don't need a keeper. I'll be fine. I'm just looking for another place to drink since you got me cut off. Leave me alone, okay."

"Sorry Becca, but I'm not letting you do something stupid." He put a hand on her arm. Becca swung and connected with Elliot's eye.

"No!" She screamed. "Don't touch me, I won't let you!"

As Becca dropped into a fighting stance, Elliot realized she was flashing back to the attack and fighting off her rapist. She moved in on him with a wild, determined look in her eyes. He ducked the punch and danced back, trying to stay out of her reach until Liv got there to back him up. Becca was moving quickly for a drunk and closed the gap with another punch, which he blocked. El realized that he wasn't going to be able to wait her out, so when Becca came around with a kick he moved into it, and pulled her into his chest, pinning her arms to her sides. Becca was still for a moment then head butted him and as his arms fell away, swept his legs out from under him. She dropped back again and brought her fists back up, as he picked himself up, Becca moved in quickly throwing a punch toward his stomach. He blocked it and gave her a quick cut to the jaw. Stunned, she slumped into his arms. Liv pulled up and jumped out.

" What happened?" She asked.

" I grabbed her arm and I think she flashed back to the rape. She started screaming and throwing punches. I finally had to hit her. Damn, I've never had to hit a woman before. That is not something I want to repeat." Olivia could see that Elliot was really upset about having to hit a woman.

"You didn't have a choice, El. If she'd kept fighting she could have made her injuries worse. Come on, I'll drive, you sit in the back with her." Olivia dialed Cragen on her cell as they moved into traffic.

"Cragen."

"We found her at the bar, Captain. She's had quite a few. She tried to throw down with Elliot and then passed out. We're taking her to your place."

"Thanks, Olivia. I'll meet you there, are you sure she doesn't need a doctor?"

"No Captain, just a few too many and a scuffle with Elliot. He had to clip her to get control of her. She's out cold. You might want to call San Francisco and find out what happened. I think she quit and she said something about her partner killing him-self and that she's to blame. Might want to get Huang to talk to her, when she sobers up."

-THIRTY MINUTES LATER.

When they pulled up at Don's, Becca still wasn't steady on her feet, so Elliot carried her in and put her on the couch.

"Thanks Elliot. You two want to grab some coffee in the kitchen? Oh, and Elliot you might want to get some ice for that eye." Don covered Becca with a blanket.

"Oh man, what hit me?" Becca mumbled.

"Ah, that would be me." Elliot said "Sorry."

"Christ, my jaw hurts." She suddenly looked green and tried to get up. Stabler grabbed her and hustled her to the bathroom just in time.

Elliot came into the kitchen a few minutes later. "Well, she'll probably start sobering up, lost everything but her toenails. She's washing up."

"What did she say to you at the bar." Cragen looked exhausted. He reached into the freezer and handed Elliot an ice pack.

"Well she was pretty wasted when we got there, Captain. All we got is what I told you on the phone." Olivia answered.

"Okay, this is what I got from her chief. Ben Wyke, her partner, put one in his mouth three weeks ago last Saturday. The funeral was the following Tuesday. When the captain came in on Wednesday, he found Becca's badge, key to her gun locker and her resignation on his desk. No one there has seen her since the graveside service. Her apartment was empty, most of her stuff was still there, the rent was paid through next month .She had also cleaned out all her accounts. They've been looking for her since."

He poured a cup of coffee and sat down. "She and her partner were in a shooting late last month. Perp got away but the kid he snatched and a neighbor were killed. Both of them were cleared by IAB. They were still on leave pending psych evaluation. Becca's appointment was supposed to be the Wednesday she disappeared. The shrink saw Wyke the day before he killed himself; he was recommended for permanent reassignment to a desk. Her captain is overnighting a letter that was delivered to Becca's desk the day after the funeral. Handwriting on the envelope was recognized as Wyke's. He probably mailed it just before he did himself. I've called Huang. He's on his way over. I thought maybe he could get her talking."

"Any word from Fin and Munch, Cap?" Olivia asked.

"Fin called, they tracked down Grimaldi, the cabbie. He was attacked at a diner 45 minutes before Becca's plane touched down. EMS confirms he was found in the bathroom with a dent in his skull. The lab called with the preliminary results on the rape kit, semen and traces of latex, the doer's condom broke."

"Oh shit." Becca said from the doorway. "That's all I needed to hear. My luck the guy has AIDS. Jesus, my life is a train wreck."

She sank to the floor and dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking. Don walked over, knelt down and put his hand on her shoulder.

"We'll get him, baby. Don't cry." She looked up at him, a wild crazed grin on her face.

"Cry, Cappie? Shit, this is a farce. You should laugh. I am. Leave 'em laughing or leave 'em wondering what the hell you meant. Well I'm laughing and I still wanta know, what the hell does it all mean?" Her bitter laugh filled the silent room. "Oh, come on guys don't you get the joke. The best thing that happened to me in the last three weeks is getting raped. It's fucking hilarious." She began to laugh again, sounding increasingly hysterical.

"Becca? Becca!" Cragen slapped her, cutting off the bitter, angry sound. "Enough! You want to wallow? Do it after you explain yourself." Don sounded like a father dressing down a teenager for coming home after curfew. "Why didn't you call me?" His voice softened. "I'd have met your plane."

She seemed calmer when she answered him. "I wasn't coming home, Cappie, I was running, I wanted to get lost, just stay in the wind. I just came to visit Mom and Dad's graves. If I hadn't gotten raped you wouldn't have seen me. I didn't wanna drag anyone else down with me."

"Becca, I'm not just anyone. I'm your godfather. I've taken care of you since you were six. You're supposed to come me with the good stuff, and the bad stuff, especially the bad. There's nothing that we can't deal with together." He held her hand.

"Some things can't be fixed, Cappie. I think I'm one of them. I don't know if anyone should even try."

Cragen pulled her close and hugged her. "Promise me something, Becca? Don't do anything without talking to George Huang first. He's a psychiatrist we work with. And no more drinking binges, young lady, okay." She reached up and put her arms around him.

"For you, Cappie, okay. No more binges, besides I think I've developed the world's fastest turn around time on hangovers. You got any aspirin. My head feels like Vesuvius."

Cragen handed her a bottle from the counter as the doorbell rang. While he was answering the door, Becca got up from the floor and sat at the table, rubbing her jaw.

" You got a hell of a punch, man." She said to Stabler. " If you pulled it, remind me not to piss you off. And if you didn't pull it, you hit like a girl."

Elliot laughed. "You've got a mean swing yourself. Pretty good moves too, for a drunk. We should work out together sometime."

"Yeah I could use somebody to go full out with. Look, I really need to apologize to the both of you. I'm not usually a drunken psycho bitch with a bad attitude. Most of the time I'm a sober psycho bitch. I kind of remember going off on you verbally and physically. Sorry."

"Hey, everybody loses it sometimes. With what you've been through it's no wonder you got a little crazy." Olivia smiled at her.

"Stupid is more like it. I don't usually try to take on someone twice my weight."

"You said something at the hospital about crossing the line?" Olivia asked.

"Nice interrogation technique, Detective. Slip in the tough one while they're reeling, the better to get a straight answer. No point in keeping it secret any longer anyway. The truth can't hurt Ben and my career is done. Ben and I were sleeping together, had been for almost a year. So, there it is, we crossed the line, screwed up, then he offed himself, end if story."

Cragen came back in with Huang. "Inspector Rebecca Swan, this is Dr. George Huang, psychiatrist."

"Jeeze, Cappie, shrinking me already. Give a girl a chance to sober up first. I'd at least like a shot at evading the issues."

"I have a feeling evasion is not your usual tactic, Inspector." Huang smiled at her.

"Not really, I tend to bulldoze right to the heart of things."

"No wonder you deal so well with Detective Stabler, Don. You lived with the same personality type for years."

"Hey, I don't know if I've just been insulted or complimented." Elliot laughed.

"Take it as a compliment, Stabler, I get good results with the bulldozer." Becca stood and shook Haung's hand. "Well, Doctor, there's no time like the present. Let the torture begin. This way."

As they started out of the kitchen, Don called after her. "Becca, when was the last time you ate?"

She came over and kissed him on the cheek. "I can always count on you to be a Jewish mother, Cappie. Order some Chinese will you? I'll eat after I talk the lead ball out of my stomach."

TBC

A/N- Well, whaddaya think. Any input is welcome.