Disclaimer- I can only claim Becca and the other insert characters. All the rest belong to Dick Wolf.

Author's Note- I've had some really nice reviews on this one, but I'm basically greedy, so if you'd kindly review, I'd appreciate it.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When Liv and Elliot got back to the station, Cragen told them they'd be lead investigators on the Carson case. He asked them to track down Becca and decide when to start the preliminary briefing. Elliot checked the crib and roof while Liv headed to the restroom. When she opened the door there was the distinctive sound of someone retching.

"That you, Becca?" Olivia asked.

"Gimme a minute." Becca answered from inside the stall. She came out shortly, pale and sweating.

"You okay?" Liv asked.

"Yeah, just my usual response." Becca splashed water on her face and avoided looking in the mirror. "I always throw up the first time I see the vic's corpse when it's a kid. Thank God Ben was the only one on the squad who ever saw me do it. The rest of the guys gave me enough hell as it was." She turned to face Liv. "You know how it is. The only woman on a squad and men will be boys, won't they?"

"Absolutely. How many were on your squad, Becca?" Liv asked.

"Thirty-five, but we were centralized, so 'bout the same as the five boroughs. Why were you looking for me?" Becca dried her hands and started for the door.

"Captain wants Elliot and I to take the lead slots on this case. How long before you can be ready to do a briefing?" Olivia wondered if the woman was going to be able to handle the pressure. She'd already cracked once; a second time wouldn't be out of the question.

Becca saw the speculative, doubting look in the NYPD detective's eyes. "I'll hold it together as long as I need to, Benson. I will get Carson. This is personal now and the bastard isn't going to get away from me." Becca's eyes were cold when she spoke the perp's name. Cold, but sane.

"We got a fax from your unit." Liv let the comments slide. "We can start in a half hour, if you're ready."

"Let me go over my notes, they're in my bag. I can probably be ready in an hour to give you a full briefing, since everything in the case file is in my notes or Ben's. His notebooks were at my place along with mine." Becca bit her lip and went on. "I grabbed them when I was packing."

"You know, Becca. If you want to talk sometime, I'll listen. Shrinks don't always seem approachable." Liv offered.

"Yeah and Stabler's a nice guy, but some things you just need another woman to hear." Becca said. "Thanks, Olivia. I'd like to talk about Ben to someone who'd understand about falling for your partner." Liv's head came up quickly and she looked hard at Becca. "Sorry, was I not supposed to notice?"

Liv shrugged and suddenly Becca realized she put her foot into the middle of a secret. "He doesn't know, does he? Elliot, I mean. He has no clue how you feel. You need to tell him, Liv. 'Cause I'm here to tell you he feels the same way, it's written all over him."

Becca put a hand on Olivia's arm. "There's a lot about my life that's screwed up right now, but I don't regret one minute of the time I had with Ben. The only way I screwed up when it came to that relationship was in thinking like a girlfriend instead of a partner when he was hurting."

Becca's eyes clouded with tears. "Don't waste time, in our job any minute could be the last. Go for it, Liv. Grab on to every minute you can cause the only definite is that sooner or later one of you will be the first to go." She brushed the tears away. "Let's go catch us some scum."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N- Well it's been a few days since I updated but I 'll try to get another chapter out to you in a couple of days. In the mean time, please review.